My Neighbor Yelled at My Kids From Over the Fence: What Should I Do?

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"So my sons are currently in the backyard playing…it is 1 pm and they are 6 and 9…these kids often fight and yell at eachother and at this point i gave up trying to stop it unless they harm eachother…they mostly just use their words…anways…my neighbor came to the fence and told both of them to SHUT THE F UP…she said it so loud that even i heard her from inside the house…,y husband told me not to cause issues but honestly i want to knock on her door…how should i handle this?"

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The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"If they are always outside screaming it could be causing issues with the neighbors"

"I think you should avoid for now if it happens again then you can definitely intervene because maybe your kids were actually too loud maybe someone is trying to sleep or rest or depressed I mean you never know. Don’t just fold up your sleeves for nothing!"

"U need to intervene with your kids. Yeah they are outside playing, but fighting is different and if it’s excessive (u said u gave up) then i can see where it’d be a problem. As for the neighbor, is this the first time she’s said any thing at all to them or to you?"

"Control your kids and be respectful of your neighbors"

"She could have said it better but your neighbor also has her right to peace."

"I would honestly go over and say I’m sorry my kids were being loud and bothering you but next time I would appreciate it if you came directly to me instead of yelling at my kids so I could deal with it my self and fix the problem"

"I don’t let my kids scream and argue in my yard, out of respect for my neighbours… I’m betting you’re downplaying the noise they create."

"She’s probably sick of hearing your kids argue all the time. If your kids want to argue have them come inside. I do that with mine. My neighbors shouldn’t have to listen to them all the time."

"If your kids were playing and having fun that’s one thing. but if they’re outside screaming and arguing and fighting with each other, that’s another…. maybe you should send them to their room till they can get along and then play outside."

"Your kids have the right to be themselves in their own backyard, but your neighbor also has the right to peace and quiet in hers. I’m a parent as well and totally understand both sides of this. She definitely could have gone about it differently, but I’d talk to your kids as well, especially if it sounds like WWIII in your backyard."

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Since you have given up, maybe you should thank your neighbor for trying to help. Then teach your children to respect others.

Find out what noise curfew is. Where I live it’s 10p. You should make more of an effort to get your kids to stop fighting. I know from personal experience they can hold a grudge. I am 57, my brother is 56. He has never forgiven me for the fights we had in childhood. I haven’t lived in my mother’s home since age 14, so we’re talking very childish fights. My mother had a massive stroke in 2020. I live in another state. I wasn’t told until late May of this year. She passed June 3. I just barely found out her service was in June. My brother is in a lot of legal trouble now, but this gives you an example of what can happen. I have seen it with many people. As far as your neighbor is concerned she does deserve respect, but she is not allowed to cuss at your kids.