My mother is telling people my kid is autistic

My mom has told multiple family members that she thinks my four year is autistic. I know she doesn't view autism as a bad thing because my sister is on the spectrum and I don't view it negatively, but it's still bothering me that she's telling this to people? Should I bring it up to her and ask her to stop? I just feel like it's not her place to make judgements about my son let alone pass around those judgements but I'm also not sure if I'm wrong for feeling this way.
1 Like

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mother is telling people my kid is autistic - Mamas Uncut

She shouldn’t be telling people that if no diagnosis was made by a doctor.


I don’t think that’s her place especially if it is not confirmed by a doctor.


Not her place no, but have you considered why she thinks that?


Not her place! I can’t stand people who give autism diagnoses and they’re not even doctors. And even if a doctor did diagnose, still not her place to tell anyone.

I’m in way too many toxic mom groups, because I’d go no contact if someone said that about my child.

What exactly about your child does she think is autistic? Are they meeting all milestones, communicating effectively (at 4, speech varies on kid), etc?

Tell your mother to say I love you and your kids life she ain’t got nothing nice to say don’t say nothing at all

Sorry it was supposed to say tell your mother to stay out of you and your kid’s life if you can’t say something nice don’t say nothing at all

1 Like

Even if he’s diagnosed it’s not her place to tell anyone. It’s your & your son’s business not hers.

Maybe since having an autistic child she sees something you don’t. Talk to her. Ask her to stop telling people that. Also ask her why she thinks he is.

1 Like

That would make me feel very uncomfortable and upset …if hes never been diagnosed by a doctor then she should not be saying that or even want to be saying that… If I had grandchildren I would hope they wasn’t autistic and wouldn’t go around saying that… If your child is there is nothing wrong or anything to be ashamed about it …but thats just weird not to be diagnosed and tell everyone hey my grandchild’s autistic?? When you dont even know for sure …

Oh yea, you bring that up absolutely. That’s not okay, you should be livid. Mil did the same at 6 mon and she was 1, wrong 2, yelled @

Is your child suspected or being tested for this?

Btw, My MIL said it about my son at about 8 to 10 months old. We were upset. 2 years later, diagnosed! So… maybe just talk to her, no need to be mad


Go around telling people your mom has cancer or bipolar and see how she feels. JK, but use this as an example as to why her behavior is rude.

Talk to her to see why she thinks he’s on the spectrum. Couldn’t hurt to have him evaluated by docs though. Then tell her it’s not her place to diagnose him, nor to divulge any medical information without permission. And ask her to please stop. If it turns out to be true tell her it is up to you and him to reveal the info or not as you see fit.

While your mom has no place to be doing this, since your sister is on the spectrum I’d get them evaluated. Though you should definitely have a talk with your mom as that’s not ok.

Do you have any concerns about your child? If yes, consult a specialist. What’s most important is not gossip or rumour, even a grandmother’s, but the truth. As a mother, you should be after that.

I would cut her off and be like “Actually, there hasn’t been a doctor that said so.”

I would consider why she thinks that he is. Ask her what makes her think he’s autistic.

I would ask her if she has a doctorate. When she says no, then tell her she has no right to diagnose your child with autism. If she has any concerns, to let you know and you will express concerns to your child’s doctor if they also concern you.


My dad went around telling everyone I was getting married before I could say anything. Told everyone I was pregnant before I could told everyone it was boy name an how big. When I left my husband for beating me my dad ran around telling everyone I left my husband becse we didn’t get long, people told Me I should try harder an then I flipped out because really? Then when my son was 2 he was diagnosed aspergers, ADHD, PTSD, and spd and my dad ran around telling everyone an how hard it was and so on. He warming it because he wanted to be the Big supporter. Guy who had to rescue me who had it hard. He was doing it r the sympathy anprqise depending on situation. Its your choice to decide if you want people to know. Not her place to fell everyone.

Yes of course you should tell her to stop. Why are you even asking this question

She needs to stop regardless of any diagnoses. It is an attention thing for her.

Maybe she’s only telling people who are already asking first if he is. I’d ask her first.

Sounds like attention seeking behavior. I would ask why she is telling people that he is without being diagnosed by a professional.

If it bothers you go speak with her.

Say something to her. And if you don’t it’s def gonna keep bothering you and she’s not a mind reader so unless you state how you feel she’s not going to stop.
Protect and stand up for your baby.

Early testing gets better lOng term results
You said you have a sibling on the he spectrum. She may see you things you don’t
NO she has no business giving her opinion. Ask her why? Then share your feelings

Tell those same people that your mother is crazy