My mother in law told us she will not come to our wedding if we don't invite my fiances sister: Advice?

Ugh hard one… I can see why someone would do either stick to guns or suck it up option… good luck! Maybe she will grow up in the next little bit and it won’t be a problem? :woman_shrugging:t2:

Oh well don’t come mil! Stay at home because drama on your special day is unnecessary!

Tell you MIL sorry she won’t be there! If she loves her son at all she will be there.

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Your MIL is an adult and should act as such! If your fiancé is on same track as you, in regards to his sister, then let the MIL make the informed decision! You should not have to wonder or worry or have any apprehensions about any invited guests, or stresses on YOUR day! My mom said she wouldn’t attend if I got married, and I got married and she didn’t attend! Life went on, our relationship was still very strong… do what you and your fiancé think is best! You cannot control what your MIL does as she shouldn’t be able to control you!

We had the same situation with my son in laws sister as far as the relationship . The parents did not threaten and they did invite her and told his parents that if she caused any issues she would be removed from the premises …we all just prayed really hard that she would not come and thank the Lord she didn’t lol

It’s your wedding, invite whoever you wish. If you and your fiance agree on the guest list, then your m-i-l will have to make the choice, either go to her son’s wedding or alienate him. Wishing you love and happiness!

If the sister isn’t talking to her brother invite her and then it’s her decision not yours so then it’s not you that’s leaving her out just my opinion

I’m sorry…I thought it was YOUR most special day. You are the only ones who get a say. She doesn’t like it? Stay home.

I would tell ur mother in law thats one less person u have to worry about. Its her loss

mil will have to miss the wedding … what does your fiancée say ? this woman will set the tone for your marriage if you agree to this now . beware

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It’s easy for people to say not to invite MIL, but that would probably make your fiancé sad. Definitely do not invite SIL since she sounds extremely toxic and could ruin your wedding. Talk it out with fiancé and see how strongly he feels. Make it clear to MIL that if she does not attend, that you and your kids (who I assume are her grandchildren) realize your place and you will act accordingly.

This day and this soon-to-be marriage has NOTHING to do with the MIL. Your fiance should be 100% behind you when you make that clear and lay down the ground rules. Anyone who can’t accept whatever choices YOU make for YOUR day can go pound sand, you don’t need them at YOUR wedding.

It would be a no for me as well regarding sil, sounds like a lot of water under that bridge. I would send mil an invite if that’s what You Both want and leave it at that. We can’t control someone’s else’s behavior and we certainly shouldn’t be threatened with nonpresence if we don’t conform to someone else’s wishes. Just my thoughts

How about just bite the bullet and invite her? If she comes, just ignore her; if she doesn’t at least you can tell you MIL that you sent the invitation.

It’s your wedding don’t let your mil make decisions, you are not going to live with her

I hate to be a “Debbie downer” but…If you marry this man you are going to live with drama and unhappiness every day of your life. This family is dysfunctional. Red flags abound. I would reconsider

It’s your wedding- if you don’t want someone there don’t invite and if the MIL doesn’t like it she doesn’t have to come- stand your ground!

I think MIL is being horrible. IT IS NOT HER WEDDING! You and your fiancée should just talk it over and make a decision not to invite SIL. Mom has made her choice, or rather, doesn’t give you a choice. You will have pictures you can share w/her. It’s both your special day, and it’s unfair of MIL to put both of you in that situation. I say, don’t invite. You will have a fabulous memorable wedding day. BE HAPPY

That’s too bad for her, she can’t force you to have a relationship with someone you don’t want to.

Your wedding, your call. Don’t be bullied into something you don’t want. If MIL doesn’t want to attend, that’s her choice.

Tell her there not invited its your wedding and that you want her there but its her choice

Invite MIL and leave it at that . I will tell you though- be prepared for SIL to crash the party . She sounds as though that could be a possibility . I’m so sorry you have to deal with crap on your special day . It sucks .

Parents acting childish and partner ok with not having them then it’s not your worry. Let him/ her hash that out on their own and if he/she doesn’t then they obviously don’t think it’s worth the heartache.

If you give in you will set the tone for the rest of your life. It’s clear who your MIL likes better. And it’s not you. Everything my first husband and I did was to make MIL happy and what made her happiest was BIL being happy. One example: We paid thousands in car repairs going to BIL’s auto shop. Then we paid a second time somewhere else to have the correct part installed, the part installed right side out, or have what was really wrong addressed and fixed. Finally we stopped letting her know we had car problems or necessary service needed. She caught on though and kept going after us about “keeping the peace” and “not starting a fight”. I finally had enough and told her he was a terrible mechanic who didn’t guarantee his work and we couldn’t afford to give him welfare as his only customer who was willing to enter his home garage shop. I haven’t spoken to the man since.

Bottom line here. It’s about you and your future spouse…nobody else.

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Dearly I think that decision should be made by your fiance,I think he should invites who he wants 'and you should invite ,who you want,if you want a future happy merriage ,let him make that decision,and if any problem ,let him deal with it, its his family,if you love him,you will respect him,and any issues between his family let him deal with,its not worth it getting to a argument,live your life in peace with everybody ,remember nobody is perfect.

Welp I guess mother n law and sister n law arent coming to the wedding! Dont invite anyone who isnt there to support the both of you! Period.

It’s ok to distance yourself from toxic people, even if they are family. Invite his parents. It is their choice to come or not. If they don’t come, it’s on them. If you give in and sil comes, probably be an ass and make trouble at wedding and Mil will continue to interfear with your marriage.

Do yoy really want to get married? You not only marry the man but the whole family. Good Luck!

It’s your wedding. Don’t allow drama into it. If she doesn’t wanna come support her son that’s on her.

I wouldn’t invite them and if the MIL doesn’t come that is on her.

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Your day, your list, your people, you food choices, your cake, your dress. The MIL will come. She won’t miss the wedding. It will cause nothing but drama at the wedding and that will be what people remember…not the beautiful wedding.

I would tell her we will miss you and leave it at that.

Don’t go into this family by cutting out your mil and sil. Show your the better person. Invite them be polite and move on. When you see say hi and move on. That’s how an adult would handle the situation. Chances are, maybe the sil will not come.

Sounds like mother-in-law problems coming up in the future beyond the wedding. Run!

Tell her you’ve made your decision she will have to make hers.

I’m happy when I’m not invited. That means I can spend quality time with people that I really care about. Plus I save money on not gifting

A wedding isn’t the time nor place to bring together family drama. MIL will just have to live with it. Your wedding should be a wonderful day shared with those who love you.

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Have the wedding it’s het choice to come or not!

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Just give them an invitation and see if the sister in law comes. Put it back on her. It’s called reverse psychology!!

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Have your wedding without them! Remember, this is about the two of you, not anyone else. If you don’t, you will regret it!!’m

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I think I would have a very small wedding with your parents and a very few friends.

To keep the peace - do not invite any of them… That way they’ll be no favorites… Congrats

You have two choices: You can invite the sister and in all likelihood have some sort of craptastic drama on display for all your guests that will cast a shadow on your wedding day (at best)or ruin it completely (at worst). OR - don’t invite the sister and let your MIL choose not to attend her son’s wedding, which will hurt and disappoint him, but without the added humiliation of a scene with the sister. You cannot control what other people are going to do, but you can predict what they are likely to do based on past behavior. There is nothing that is going to make everyone happy, so pick the one that will make you the least miserable.

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Elope to the Poconos,they have a little wedding package,cake,photos,ceremony,you can pick where you want it to take place,nightclub,by the pool ,other areas on the property at poconos’ can have wedding and honeymoon all in one

Talk it over with fiance. Then tell mil fine don’t come. Hope you’re having a private venue where people can be escorted out.

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Do what your husband wants to do but be prepared to call police if need be. Just because they are blood does not mean you have to subject yourself to such bad behavior. If his mother can not understand that I say let her miss your wedding. It is her loss.

Don’t invite them. I didn’t invite any of my siblings to my wedding. We don’t speak ever so no need for them to come.

Have your wedding with or without people that don’t want to be there…they have a grown up choice to make…it’s your wedding…or just elope…

It’s your wedding NOT your mother in law’s.

Don’t give in! It’s a special day for you guys, don’t let toxic family in :slightly_smiling_face:

Let him be the bad guy stay out if it. And have a plan of action should stupidity of drama on the day show its ugly head.

Mother of the Groom won’t be missed.

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Its your Sister In Law I would invite her and leave it at that…

Haven’t spoken to my brother in two years. Don’t plan on it again.

What does your fiancé want to do? I’d let him make the final decision and respect whatever he decides.

Invite the messy sister-in-law. Maintain boundaries. Someone being near does not require interaction from you. Get through it all, pray for peace - even if only for that day, and continue on. :man_shrugging:t5:

Your wedding invite whoever you choose. If someone chooses not to come their loss not yours

Same thing with me sort of. Invite them & if they refuse atleast they were invited.

If your husband’s is saying no then I wouldn’t change your mind on it. Wiener doesn’t want to come can not come.

Trust me do what it takes to make things flow invite and have. A dinner before and let things go

Tell your MIL that’s blackmail and she can suit herself. She doesn’t come it’s on her, call her bluff. She’s trying to force a situation on you 2 that’s unfair. The problem is her daughter and she needs to tell her immature child to grow up. Tell her you’ll send her pictures since that’s her decision and you wouldn’t be bullied or blackmailed. If you give into her childish behavior now it will only allow her to cilantros your marriage. Your finance needs to step up and tell his mother to stop with her blackmail tactics and it won’t work. Her daughter choose her side of behavior not your finance.

I wouldn’t want them to cause a scene at the wedding stick to ur guns

It should be your guys decision. Maybe be the bigger person invite them .they dont come no worries

If MIL can not respect you and your partners wishes for your special day then that is on her to choose to come or not. Do not let anyone make decisions for your life or your family.

Don’t invite them. Don’t let the MIL play with your feelings. I Guarantee you the sister will cause trouble at your wedding.

For his sake , invite everyone and let the chips fall where they may , but u must be calm !

If you do not invite the mother in law, you are already asking for problems. Might want to rethink marriage.

It’s called BLACKMAIL!! Don’t cave or she’ll use it for as long as she lives…trust me on this, pkeeease !

Extend an invite to the SIL for watching virtually (if it’s going to still be during these times)

If you dont want your wedding to be a disaster don’t cave in and invite them. You are better off with out them.

Your wedding your rules if your honey is ok with leaving them out the. Simple move on and have the wedding

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I would ask what your husband wants to do. I think I would at least send them the invite that way if MIL asks again you can say that you sent the invite but it is now in SIL

I would tell these people to Bite both Cheeks and enjoy my day. The Bible says where you find a Fool leave them, because a Fool will not receive correction…

Tell MiL to take a hike. If she gets her way, she will be in charge forever.

It’s your wedding, don’t do what you’re supposed to, do what you want!

Its your wedding you’re in charge to say NO

Your wedding, your guests. If she doesn’t come it will be her choice not yours. What does your fiance say about it?

Call the bluff I wish I had in 77 as my own mother driving me to the church said the most hateful things about my husband caused scene after scene we ended up wanting to elope

Tell her you will send pictures. Do not invite your SIL to be. She will do everything to ruin your day. It is not worth it.

It’s your wedding

You invite who you want not anyone else. If the in-laws don’t come oh well their loss

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I would simply buy both of them a gift card to Olive garden and present it to her that way they have some place to go on the day of the wedding, they can then enjoy each other’s company.

do not let them black mail you, its your day and you don’t need them ruining for you. i fiance is ok without them being there than don’t invite them,

That is MIL choice! So be it!
It’s your wedding!

If you cave now you’ll have a lifetime of caving to do.

Your wedding, your rules. If your mil is pushy about this, it won’t get better.

Tell your mother you’ll miss her

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If that’s what the mil chooses, leave it, it’s your wedding, invite who you want.

Elope! Problem solved because if you give in to the mil then expect a lot of give ins during your marriage

I’D run the other way is he really worth it. Uoure in for along haul

Can you live and accept a lifetime of this?? Seriously think about it. Think life after the wedding.

If you think it will ruin your wedding - don’t
Why don’t you elope and have a romantic quiet time away?

did you say you have 2 daughters if so what’s the big deal having a wedding now what not just go to the court house?

I guess the mil can look at pictures. Your wedding. Your rules.

Is she paying for the wedding? If not, she has no say.

Your wedding. Your rules. Go ahead with your wedding. Your mother-in-law can stay home. IT’S OK to cut toxic family members out of your life. You are not obligated to invite biological relatives to your wedding. Real family isn’t allways people you share DNA with. Real family is people you share a healthy emotional and spiritual bond with.

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Sounds like blackmail! Don’t let her come, and don’t let MIL ruin your wedding.

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If your already living together then why do prople need a wedding?

Elope. Don’t have a wedding. Let time help sort things out. Or not.

If you let her control you now, she may never let up trying to control you later. Sad to say.

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