It’s your guys wedding day! It’s about you two!! If they want to petty and not come then so be it, that’s their issue not yours!! I wouldn’t want people like that at my wedding to be fair!
Forget it, have an amazing wedding with no drama and with the family and friends that do respect you and are there for yous !!
My mother in law told us she will not come to our wedding if we don't invite my fiances sister: Advice?
It’s your guys wedding day! It’s about you two!! If they want to petty and not come then so be it, that’s their issue not yours!! I wouldn’t want people like that at my wedding to be fair!
It is about the two of you, not everyone else.
I wouldn’t invite the sister. I only wanted people who wanted to be there at my wedding. I only wanted to be surrounded by people who loved us and brought positivity to our day. I wouldn’t risk letting them ruin one of the most important days of my life.
It’s your special day p. Have your wedding. Don’t be threatened into inviting anyone you only do this once. Congratulations !
Coming from a now divorced person that married into that type of family I wish I would have done what I wanted at my wedding not just to please everyone. I spent my marriage life pleasing everyone. Mine ended in divorce but that has to do with my ex not standing up for me. So my advice is do what makes you and your immediate family happy. I wish I did. Would have solved a lot of stress I was under.
Nope. Refuse to have toxic people there on what is suppose to be one of your happiest moments.
We arw in charge of who we invite into our circle. Its small but wonderfully peaceful without all the toxic people. I won’t expose my kids to that crap!
plan your wedding your way, if they don’t come then that’s their choice.
Invite her and let her make her own choices. It’s not her wedding, she doesn’t make the guest list. I promise if you compromise this boundary, she will keep pushing and violating any other or future boundaries you have/will ever have.
You’re not responsible for how she reacts to anything. I would seriously invite her, let her know that her own invitation is what she needs to worry about and that you won’t be discussing it in the future. If she decides not to go, that’s her issue to deal with. Hold that boundary.
Just go to the courthouse. Problem solved.
It’s a day about yous and u invite who yous want and if mil doesn’t like it then tough shit move on and just plan your day without them
She said she won’t go if u don’t invite them
Just invite them doesn’t say anything about inviting them to write adress ? hehe
Invite them to the wedding so they can sit and watch but not to the reception party when there’s time for a fight to possibly arise
I’d just elope or have a small celebration. It’s not about them or their drama. It’s about you and your fiancee.
I wouldn’t let her bully me into and invite. If she CHOOSES to miss her sons wedding that’s on her I wouldnt be inviting someone that caused my family a whole lot of issues to appease someone else. Especially if she ain’t paying.
You know what it’s your wedding and their choice your kids don’t need that drama they need to see people in love it’s all about you babe good luck
I don’t think u should do anything it is his family he should be the one to make the decision
Invite her. She may be the one to decide not to go. Plus, he only gets married once (hopefully lol). It is YALLS wedding day but I’m sure his mom wants to be there and you can’t go back and do it over. There will be other people there to hopefully distract from y’all even noticing her.
Guess she’s not coming by her own ADULT choice!
Tell MIL your wedding, your decision, her choice.
Be the bigger person You should send everyone an invite
It’s up to them to attend
it’s your party’s not hers it’s nobody’s business who you choose to invite to your own celebration
Maybe you should have a destination wedding!
Have the wedding without his parents! Some familial relationships cannot and should not be mended. This sounds like one of them. His mother has chosen his sister over her own son, so that’s on her. Surround yourselves with the people who truly love and care for you, and forget about the people that should but don’t.
You are not between a rock and a hard spot. It sounds like the sister learned her behavior from Mom. This is your day and if the mother of the groom chooses not to attend, so be it. It will be a huge loss to her, not you or your future husband. Enjoy tour special day and new life on your own terms.
None of my in-laws attended the wedding. They did not want the marriage ceremony conducted by a minister, they wanted a justice of the peace to marry us. The in-laws were Jehovahs Witness and my fiancé was not. We said no, therefore the in-laws refused to attend. Their loss, their regret.
How does he feel about it? If your soon to be husband is ok with his mom missing out then move on. If he wants his mom there he needs to tell her that he wants her there but he wont have his sister present. Its his day too. Also, you arent new to the family if you have been there for two years and have children together. You are as much a part of that family as anyone else.
Extend the invite to those you’d want at your wedding. It’s yours! If mother in law does not show up, that’s on her. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Sometimes it’s okay to cut family off.
Ypur husbamd needs to explain to his mother that this wedding is about him and his family. He wants his mother there, and until his sister can grow up she isnt welcome
I think the decision should be made by your fiancé. It is his family.
Oh yeah dead to him until she really is but invite her she probably won’t show. I know your wedding but your mother in law is the mother of both. Very sad. Good luck
If your soon to be husband sister has a special event happening would she invite you and her brother and to it? Would his mother still attend knowing that you weren’t invited? If the first answer is no and the second answer is yes then the mil should act accordingly to your occasion. Keep the peace
Honor your boundries… my mom choose not to attend my wedding since my dad’s family was involved…I married the man of my dreams and I had to know that was my mom’s decision she choose that… she missed out on my most important day… I was
grateful to the folks who did show up! I was still a beautiful bride and my groom was so handsome and regardless of petty bull S@#$ it was still the best day of my life
This is your wedding, send invitations to those YOU want and if someone doesn’t want to attend, so be it. This is your WEDDING, not another opportunity to create a circus environment. Plus, how DARE she issue ultimatums concerning the guest list!
First of all it’s your wedding. If there are issues with them then don’t invite them. It’s your mother-in-laws choice to go to the wedding or not.
I’d say cut out the sister AND the mother in law if she wants to pull that lmao
It’s your wedding. You and your husband invite whom ever you wish to invite. Do not feel pressured by your mother in law to do things you don’t want to, especially if it might ruin your special day. If you’re mother in law chooses to miss the wedding then that’s on her but you and your husband don’t have to invite his sister especially if they do not get along or speak. My biggest advice is to make sure you do everything you want and not what others want. You don’t want to look back on this day wishing you did things your way instead of someone else’s way. Good luck!
Time to ask what your so to be husband wants? Does he not like the idea of his family not to be at his wedding? My husband’s family did not like me because I allow him to make his own choices. MIL always wanted to keep my husband under her thumb and I invited her to our small wedding and she refused to come. So if I was you, have a talk with him and find out what he wants and go from there because it’s not just your wedding it’s his too!
I would tell the mil that she is invited and its her choice to come or not and continue with the wedding she will likely still attend as this may be an attempted powerplay.
Then have her not come she can stay her ass home along with her daughter. Some times it’s parents fault the way they’re kids act because they let them get away with it. I would not have someone who has caused me drama, at my wedding.
Do not bargain with her! It’s your day. She can come if she wants. You may need to start setting boundaries with your mother in law too.
Tell his mom, “I hope you change your mind but if not, we’ll miss you.” She’s an adult and she’s can make that decision if she wants. Don’t get drawn into any discussion. Repeat this as often as necessary and then change the subject, leave the room, hang up the phone, whatever applies.
I didn’t want to invite my BIL to mine because he would get drunk and get nasty. How I solved it was I invited him, but told him that if he gets out of line, I’ve already got people on standby to drag him out if necessary. It worked, and he behaved
It’s your wedding, your choice. IF MIL wants to stay home, let her…it will be sad if she can’t honor your wishes and come, especially since it’s to avoid a brawl on your special day. If they’re that mad, will they even come? If they like to cause trouble then they probably will. Sorry you’re having to deal with this, but I have some drama queens in my family too, and understand.
You are allowed to cut out toxic people. Family or not. Honestly if your husband to be wants to invite her, it’s his wedding too. But do not do it cause the MIL demands it. That’s toxic in itself.
Say the hell with all of them and elope. Save the money on a wedding and go on a greatttt honeymoon. Hubby and I eloped and we’ve never regretted it.
DO NOT BE BLACKMAILED INTO INVITING PEOPLE…Tell your mother in law you will invite whoever you want. It is your wedding and not your fiances mother…Stand your ground and be strong. Good Luck
Sounds like his family is toxic asf and thinks they can act and treat you however & you just have to accept it because “they’re family”
Don’t be blackmailed into doing something you don’t want to do it’s your wedding tell her (ml) how much you would loved for her to be there and you hope she will come and leave it at that then enjoy the day
My parents refused to come to my wedding because they said it was a huge mistake on my part. If its their choice not to come then so be it. You’ve invited them and should not be forced to invite anyone that could dampen your special day with drama. Have your wedding and enjoy your day.
If you allow her to manipulate you now this will be how it will be once you’re married.
I’d say don’t come then. Don’t let someone manipulate you into doing something you don’t want to do. It’s your wedding, it’s your choice who you invite, invite your mother in law and if she chooses not to come then that’s all on her
It’s your wedding and you choose your guests. Mom in law can choose to stay home. Her loss.
If you and your fiancé are in agreement to not invite the sister then don’t. If mother in law chooses not to come that’s her problem.
Sounds one sided. Not inviting them would be a life long issue for your fiance. I’d make sure you’ve exhausted all options of working it out. What does your fiance want to do as it’s his family he’ll be loosing.
For all those saying it’s “your” day, I respectfully disagree. It is THEIR day. However, I do agree that they should only invite who they both want there. If he doesn’t want his sister there, then she shouldn’t be. But the bride should not exclude his family on her own. With that said, the MIL has to decide if she wants to attend on her own. She does not control the guest list.
That’s a no for me. I wouldn’t want drama at my wedding. That’s his moms loss. My husband didn’t like how his mom was acting towards me before we got married and he actually uninvited her unless she fixed her tude. You will learn this isn’t about anyone else but you two and if you allow it now due to feelings, she will think she can always do that in YOUR marriage
I would let hubby decide and then support his decision. Whatever it was.
Sister-in-law will do something to disrupt the ceremony or reception. Don’t invite her. If MIL decides to not come, that’s her problem not yours.
Start letting her call the shots now and it will go on forever. Your wedding, your choice. Her loss
Just go to the justice of the peace, constable, or judge and get married. You’ll save a lot of money and be just as married without all the fuss. Then, take a vacation.
What does your fiancé want?
Let him decide and support him.
It is his mother and his sister.
Surely you do not want to dominate him in this just because you have strong feelings about them?
Forgive and move on.
Have your wedding. Invite your mother in law. If she chooses not to come, that is her own choice. You don’t need to invite your sister in law. She will probably make the wedding about her and ruin it for everyone. You are all adults here. Find your peace and don’t let the emotional blackmail for your inlaws put you folks at a loss. Its their choice. Your mother in law can come for the one reason only, that she loves her son. If she chooses to be petty and not want to go without her suaghter than thats her choice. No one is forcing her either way.
Good luck. I would think it’s your day, fiancé and you, do what’s best for you. If she lets herself off list so be it. Sorry
Don’t invite them. She sounds extremely immature and will probably cause a scene at your wedding. No ma’am. That’s your day, not too be ruined by her. MIL will still come, guaranteed. Don’t let her dictate now or she forever will. Have boundaries. Toxic is toxic, blood or not.
Do what you and your fiancé want to do. In the long run, your mother in law will need you more than you will need her- especially if she wants to see her grandchildren and as she ages. If your MIL is going to boycott her own sons wedding just to get her way, then that’s her problem. That would be enough for me to keep her at arms length in future. Good luck
Tell MIL. We’ll send you pictures. Don’t let anyone ruin your happiness. / or have a body guard ready to escort ppl out😒
Hope it works out for the best.
Plan your wedding w/out drama. This is YOUR big day. Sometimes boundaries need to be set & adhered to. MIL might just decide to come anyway. If not, her loss.
Thats strange your MIL is putting her self right in the middle of everything. I think you guys should not invite the sister to keep the peace. Tell his parents that you really hope they won’t miss their sons wedding, and if his parents don’t show up then it proves how much they actually care about your spouse…congrats on the biggest day of your life, Dont let someone hijack it!!!
This is YOUR wedding/marriage. The only other person opinion that matters is your fiancee, but if agrees with his mother on this and not you, then that may be a problem. It’s up to you what you can handle. After all your marrying him, not his family. I hope everything works out
A friend of ours went to remarry and he and his bride had to go to counseling, the minister told them that marriage is not 50-50 it’s 100-100. You both have to give it all you have. Sit and talk with your fiancee and make a decision that you both agree on. It’s easier to fend off interference if you are both in it Together. Best of luck to you both.
It’s his family. As a person who is coming part of this family you should ask him what he wants. I have been where I was not welcomed by his mom I still insisted that he kept a loving relationship with his family over time they came to accept and love me like a daughter and me them. To this day I miss his mom so much we got very close.
If you “give in” to your in laws demands you will deal with this your entire marriage. Your fiancé needs to be the one that has the conversation with his mother. If he can’t do that then you might want to rethink getting married at all. Trust me he will take the family over his wife. You and your fiancé need to be in agreement on this and stick to your guns.
His mom will have to live with the fact she missed her sons wedding. (My mom refused to come to my wedding because my father may have been there, he was and I learned to regret it.) But you have to live with a possibly ruined wedding because of childish behavior. Sister has already proven in 2 years she hasn’t grown up or let things go. Ultimately it’s your choice. Yes it’s sad but your wedding is all about you and him no one else. You should be the center of attention not someone acting out.
I agree with Shawn Hall Smith—Have your wedding. Do not invite your brother’s sister because you don’t want to given her unfavorable behavior. Do invite your groom’s parents and encourage them to come. If your MIL chooses not to go to your wedding because you did not invite her daughter, that will be sad for you, but it is your MIL’s choice. If you start caving to the will of family members now, it will just be the beginning of more of the same in your marriage. Look out! Start off the way YOU want it to go, ortherwise you will constantly be put in the middle where you don’t want to be. They will have to learn that you and your husband cannot be manipulated. Of course, be prepared for some people to be upset because you won’t do it THEIR way. Good luck and have a lovely wedding.
Everyone giving advice better realize you are hearing 1 side so before you say marry without her etc. just remember sometimes marriages don’t last and family will be all you have left
I understand your situation when people display drama especially when you’re getting married it’s very stressful but it truly is their problem enjoy your marriage your love for one another. Congratulations have a wonderful blessed wedding.
Discuss this with your fiance and if he wants to invite them then do it. Let them see y’all are happy and things can go back like they are now dysfunctional or maybe she will realize that she and her brother need to make amends and be family.
Elope, like that no one’s invited, no one feels left out, and no pressure on you. I have a friend who eloped in Tuscany. Best decision she ever made.
It’s Your wedding not your mother in laws! She can stay home too! If she doesn’t like it then you eliminated some more drama!!
Sounds like MIL won’t be at the wedding! U give in and where does it stop… it is bullying. A relationship is between two… yr issues with yr SIL should have no bearing on yr relationship with MIL… so sorry yr MIL is doing this to her son. Ultimately, u and yr hubby need to make the decision together and HE should be the one to tell his mom the final decision.
What does your husband to be want? His family… he really should handle the drama. My husband of 48 years has 2 wonderful sisters and one who caused a lot of grief. He cut ties. I agreed with him but ultimately it was his decision. Think the wedding should be his call regarding his sister and mom. Be supportive of his decision. It will mean a lot to him to have that support from you. Good luck!!!
It is a wedding of YOU TWO not his parents! He is to leave his parents and join to his wife. A marriage is about joining two people together, not about “a party or show for his parents.” I know it’s a special day and y’all want special people there but it is the MIL’s choice on whether she shows or not. It has nothing to do with her other daughter. And why should y’all be stressed out on YOUR special day, wondering how she will act? This day is about YALL and God and NO ONE ELSE!
The people who come to your wedding should be there to share in the love and happiness of your special day. So those who want to be there and for the right reasons will be there. If people choose not to show up it’s their loss that they miss out on that moment they will never get back that will be their monster in the closet to face, you invite who you want to be there and whoever shows up does whoever doesn’t (unless rsvp that they couldn’t or send a card due to reasons of not attending ) obviously didn’t want to be there to support you both and share in the very special happy occasion
Have a heart to heart with your fiancé about it. Voice your concerns but let him make the final choice on who can attend as it is his family. You could hire private security to escort his sister off the premises should she start anything at your wedding. It’s tough for both you and your future husband to be put in this situation but harder for your fiancé.
This is your day, and you want to have love, peace, and happiness…Send out invitations to the people who will make your day special and don’t invite people that want to disrupt your happiness…Let the chips fall where they may…
My parents and my in laws fell out before our wedding - father in law said if they didn’t change their mind about whatever it was then he didn’t want any of his family to come to the wedding. My parents said so be it so there was only my in laws on the bridegrooms side of the church. Nobody asked us the bride and groom what we wanted!! Both sets of parents said it wouldn’t last anyway,
Wish I could dig them up we have been married 50 years this year! When our son was born they both kicked off again over the christening so we just said neither would be invited!! Our children were both sets only grandchildren so they missed out all round!
Other than this wedding issue, how do your inlaws treat you? Do you get along well with MIL, are they good to your children?
If you have an otherwise good relationship I’d probably be willing to bend a little for MIL.
Ask your husband his preference and he needs to be the one to talk to his parents if HE doesn’t want his sister there.
Invite them. MIL is happy. Sick your best friend on the sister. As soon as sister steps out of line, bestie kicks them out.
Crap, so much drama already!. Get married in a vegas chapel an then thave a blast in vegas. Have a small backyard wedding with you him your children the best man an maid of honor. Then mail wedding announcements with picture included to those you would have invited.you will be just as married an you will save money
It took my In laws 7 year of no talking to them to treat me descent . It was messy but their maltreatment was terrible also to our adopted children and I finally had to put a stop to it. We’ve been talking for 3 years now and they seem to get it now
Sounds like fiancé needs to have a serious talk with his mother. His and your wedding. If she’s giving ultimatums, maybe he needs to give some of his own. Be supportive. Leave it in his court and be gracious if you have to be.
I don’t think your caught between a rock and a hard place. It is your wedding as well as your fiancé. MIL as I see it made the choice for herself when she said she wouldn’t go if the sister wasn’t invited. Enjoy your day the both of you. This is an easy one. You got this! MIL not needed for your wedding. Shame on her
Thats her decision. She can not dictate your special day. She’s been invited, if she CHOOSES not to come for any reason, that’s her decision.
Seems like the MIL won’t be there. You need to have peace and if she’s (they’re) so full of drama leave them to themselves. This is you’ll wedding not theirs. Since your fiance is dead to her ot shouldn’t matter. Peace and respect
Ask your hubs, and do as he wants. Your marriage is the blending of both of your families. It’s his choice who that includes. Your wedding is a ceremony and a single day celebration, you’re marriage is forever and if the shoe was on your foot I’d bet you’d like your spouse to honor your decision for one day. Albeit a memorable day still one day. And should he say “bump em all” follow suit and party on.
It’s your wedding! If the sister can’t behave herself she will most likely ruin your day! If MIL can’t understand that and chooses not to come, that’s on her, not you!
It’s sad she cant see the rude behavior her daughter it’s taking every time yall meet! So maybe that means she shouldnt go to your wedding too if she cant accept who y
Can and cant go to your wedding. Best of luck
It’s your wedding invite your mother in law if she comes fine if not it’s her choice you shouldn’t be put in the position of inviting someone you don’t want it’s your special day not hers
Why don’t you talk to your husband to be instead of us? But, if you want my advice I’ll say this…it’s your wedding, you deserve a wonderful wedding without drama. If your fiance’s sister isn’t invited and if your fiance’s mother refuses to attend that’s her problem and not yours.
I guess you’ll have less mouths to feed at the wedding. I wouldn’t invite them. Its inviting chaos during a already chaotic day. And when you look back, you WONT regret not inviting her but your MIL will regret not going to her son’s wedding. Its about you and him NOT the families. Your day your way.