My mother in law keeps making comments about my weight: Advice?

Ask her why she’s rude

Tell her you are good obviously her son loves you or there would not be a mother in law to begin with lol

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Tell her you think shes far to skinny you would never want to be lol then take her cake

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Go and if she says something make sure you have her to repeat it to your husband if he isn’t by you and if he doesn’t stick up for you leave

You could tell her your not married to her and that all of you loves her son.

I think she’s trying to help you. Maybe go with her and see what you can learn. It could bring a whole new closer bond/relationship for you two… that could be a win for everyone involved… while your walking with her, be honest about how some of her comments have made you feel bad… like fat shamed. It doesn’t sound like she’s trying to shame you, but include you.
He only has one momma, give her some grace ❤️‍🩹

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Tell her to eat a burger and chill the hell out :laughing:

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Just look at her dead in the eyes and say “with all that smack talk about my weight, its no wonder you need to diet so much, must weight you down. Stay in your lane”.

Or ignore it and dress in some super revealing, body confident clothing to make her want you to lose weight.

She doesn’t define who you are, you do! Your body, you’d rules!!

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Tell her straight up… just be nice

“Ya son doesn’t see an issue honey”:shushing_face:

Tell her to go eat a big fat cheeseburger :hamburger: fries and drink it down with a chocolate shake and mind her own damn business!

Just tell them that you know they mean well, but that you’d prefer they stop making comments about your weight because your happy with how you look. And the repeated comments make you feel like they aren’t and it’s starting to feel insulting.

Brutal honesty.

:woman_shrugging:t2: unbothered- let her talk. Do you!

Then don’t visit & if she says it again to you. Tell her she is rude & insulting…with a big smile on your face .:sunglasses::blush:

Ask her if she’s hungry, she looks ill she’s so skinny … and ask if she feels alright every time you see her lol

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Well she’s offering dieting help and fitness help. I say do it! Live long and healthy

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Do it and talk nonstop make annoying noises that are embarressing and continue while excersizing lol bet shell stil
Stip

You’re okay with how you look? That’s good that you love yourself but what about the increase in heart problems and health problems? If I was you id diet and excersize with her…especially if you are overweight it sounds like she is just trying to help. Don’t take it personal just realize she is making constructive criticism and trying to help.

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Maybe she thinks she is trying to help. However if you are comfortable with how you look have a talk with her. Tell her you don’t like the comments. Sorry you are having to deal with this.

Being 200 lb at 5’8" isn’t like crazy overweight in my opinion. I know everyone holds their weight differently. But Im 5’8" also and Im about 180 and yeah I wish my tummy was just a smidge flatter but Im by no means fat i look good. So I can’t see you being much different to where someone would feel the need to pressure you to change ?? That’s not okay.

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According to BMI that is considered obese.

Risks associated with being overweight
Being overweight increases the risk of a number of serious diseases and health conditions. Below is a list of said risks, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC):

High blood pressure
Higher levels of LDL cholesterol, which is widely considered “bad cholesterol,” lower levels of HDL cholesterol, considered to be good cholesterol in moderation, and high levels of triglycerides
Type II diabetes
Coronary heart disease
Stroke
Gallbladder disease
Osteoarthritis, a type of joint disease caused by breakdown of joint cartilage
Sleep apnea and breathing problems
Certain cancers (endometrial, breast, colon, kidney, gallbladder, liver)
Low quality of life
Mental illnesses such as clinical depression, anxiety, and others
Body pains and difficulty with certain physical functions
Generally, an increased risk of mortality compared to those with a healthy BMI
As can be seen from the list above, there are numerous negative, in some cases fatal, outcomes that may result from being overweight. Generally, a person should try to maintain a BMI below 25 kg/m2, but ideally should consult their doctor to determine whether or not they need to make any changes to their lifestyle in order to be healthier.

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Simple tell her that you don’t want to diet or work out and if and when you’re ready you’ll let her know :wink: o and don’t forget to say BACK THE FROGS OFF LOL

Tell her, and anyone else to go lay down in a ditch somewhere:

“People who are clinically underweight face an even higher risk for dying than obese individuals, the study shows. Compared to normal-weight folks, the excessively thin have nearly twice the risk of death, researchers concluded after reviewing more than 50 prior studies.”

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If your so fine with how you look. Why did you post here ? Cause your looking for sympathy cause deep down your not happy with how you look OTHERWISE instinctively you would of told her to get fucked or shut up or say something alone the lines of ‘im happy with my weight’.
I don’t understand women that complain about people complaining about their weight then proceed to do nothing about it let alone ask strangers for advice on how to deal with not being called fat.

Honestly we live in a society where people are heavily outspoken. You need to grow some balls.

I’m a FAT SHIT, I weigh 207 and I’m 5,6. I’m not condoning fat shaming but seriously come on.

I KNOW IM FAT, I KNOW I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT BUT MY FAT ASS IS TO LAZY TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. ITS AS SIMPLE AS THAT!!

Previous comments on this thread are correct. I see a heart specialist once a fortnight due to my fat self :rofl: my heart specialist advised me to lose weight but I flat out told him I’m just to lazy and I love my fried food to much. So now I’m on medication for my heart. I’m only 33 and I have a life expectancy of 10-15 years due to my obesity. Just like you! Accept your reality and do something about it. Or don’t like me lol

Please don’t take anything your MIL says personally. My MIL would criticize me for my weight, would criticize my daughters weight and call her Honey BooBoo, and my daughter wasn’t even overweight. The funny thing about it is that once she bought skinny jeans she was too big for and tried to give them to me because she couldn’t return them, and she was a full 2 sizes bigger than me, yet was still criticizing me about my weight. I realized that some people will just never be satisfied, and it’s not my problem.

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I would tell her that it’s not her advice that is needed regarding my weight and that you are happy with the way you look

She probably doesn’t mean to be hurtful. You should just talk to her. Tell her you know she means well and you love her for caring about you. Then explain how her comments make you feel. As adults we don’t always realize how we make other people feel sometimes a simple conversation clears it up.

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Buy her chocklate and cakes as she not looking well do it back to her

Just say “ nah I’m happy as I am” :woman_shrugging:
Easy.

Don’t go off of BMI scale people. Considering how tall she is (5’8") 200lbs isn’t all that bad. If she were at risk for high cholesterol high blood pressure diabetes I’m sure her primary doctor would bring these issues up. I’m 5’5" and usually weigh anywhere between 170 and 190. I’m “obese” according to BMI, but I carry my weight well and have no health issues, not even boarder line.

My advice: stand up for yourself. Make it clear that you are happy with yourself and obviously your husband doesn’t have issue with your body so why should she?

This one time I saw this overweight person shot at least 8 times and one in the neck. The drs told us that the only reason he lived was cause the carotid artery was occluded by his neck fat

Also the amount of accidents I’ve seen where I’m like dam a skinny person would have definitely died and the overweight person lived is amazing!

I work in EMS it’s weird the things u notice sorry ur MIL is a :honeybee:

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mother in law keeps making comments about my weight: Advice? - Mamas Uncut

Tell her how much her son loves you just the way you are .

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Shove a cheeseburger in her mouth and tell her to eat it and shut the hell up

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Force her to learn sewing or any activity that she hates, tell her some men are attracted to curvy girls and they hate bonny asses :slight_smile:

That’s bullshit. I wouldn’t go either and he shouldn’t be ok with her treating you like that.

Woah, you’re not overreacting and it’s very rude. Cut them off if they can’t treat you nicely. You’re husband should be backing you up

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She sounds like a piece of work. I wouldn’t visit someone who is constantly putting me down and being rude, mother-in-law or not. Plus, him telling you that you are overreacting (which you clearly are not) shows that he’s been berated by her his entire life and apparently either thinks it’s okay or is too scared to say something to his mother.

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Tell her to.grab a chair and have some cake

Ok thank you, and brush it off, you can also say god made me this way in his image and I wouldn’t want to go against god would you!?!?

My Dad’s family was like that. My grandfather came over to mom and Dad’s while I was visiting and the first words out of his mouth were: “My God you’re fat”. Hadnt seen him in several years - No hi I missed you or I love you. He used to tell me if I were to lose 10pounds he’d buy me a new wardrobe. All it did was make me eat more.

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Tell her straight up. Look, we all have a mom in law that tends to over step boundaries and I’m sorry but your husband needs to grow a pair of balls and stand up for you. Being put down because of your weight isn’t ok, being told you’re fat, isn’t ok, and constantly putting pressure on you to lose the weight is not ok.

You have a right to stand up for yourself, tell her to back the F off, you’re working on yourself, by yourself because it’s your body, what makes you feel good and beautiful is your choice. Not hers. Does your husband still go all dumb founded when you’re wrapped in a towel or in shorts and bend over in front of him? If the answer is yes, then the problem is his mother and not him because I bet he still finds you as beautiful now as he did when you first met.

Hell tell his mom to have a chat with me and I’ll happily tell her where to stick it

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Be you girl and verbally express how you love who you are. Dont let someone else’s opinion make you lose confidence, your the only opinion of you that matters. Be strong🌻

That’s the type of ‘mother in law’ you don’t want in your life girl. And it’s okay to cut ties if you ever feel the need! In law is a title that doesn’t entitle them to you! :relaxed: also, you in fact do NOT have to visit. At all. :grin:

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Sounds like some narcissistic gas lighting. I want you to look a certain way because looks are important me (the narcissist). Gaslighting and invalidating your feelings because they don’t ever acknowledge wrongdoing.

“Yeah, I noticed you keep bringing it up. If I ever feel the need to make changes and join you, I’ll give you a call.” " I’m happy, and your son likes how all this 200lbs feels too so, we’re good mil! Thanks!:kissing_smiling_eyes:"

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First, regardless of how he sees it, as your husband if it upset you he needs to back you. Second, know it has nothing to do with your weight. She’s taking cheap shots as narcissists do. Third, tell her that her unhealthy look on health and weight are why he chose someone bigger. I promise it’s true and he probably doesn’t even realize it.

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She dont need to care about how you look. Your husband loves it, she dont need to. Keep your head up gurl, haters gonna hate!!!

If she’s going to be nice about it and she’ll work out with you I don’t see anything wrong with that but if she’s going to be nasty about it while you’re doing it yeah forget it and for her to dictate what you going to eat yeah maybe the best thing is to just tell her what some of these comments said

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You are allowed to say “my weight is none of your concern. I love you but my weight is my personal business I do not wish to share.” Set a boundary :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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You do what you want. Don’t let other people ruin your day

Communicate maybe she doesn’t know its offensive… or explain your size doesn’t effect your confidence

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I am kinda in the same boat. My fiancés family is controlling, intrusive and down right rude! I cut them off completely! I had to for my mental health. It is my right to not tolerate disrespect any longer! She wants to be up front with you, you be up front and stern with her. Put her in her place! Some people just really think that they can say whatever they want to whomever they want. It is not right! #healthyboundaries! :100:Hope it gets better for you!

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Be a big girl and tell her to shut up about your weight.

Don’t let anyone, family or not body shame you lady. Just tell her im not interested and please stop asking me. Im happy with myself and your making me uncomfortable

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i’d pull out a massive mcdonald’s burger eat it in her face

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Why is your husband not stepping in?

Stop going and tell her to stop talking to you about it because you’re not interested :woman_shrugging:t3:

And he will always have his mother’s back. She will never do or say anything wrong in his eyes. There’s nothing you can do, unless you stand up for yourself and tell her you love yourself the way you are and she needs to back off.

Because most mother is laws target daughter in laws to see how far they can go till we explode. It’s what they want. And because of them, there are so many ruined marriages.

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Play the game. Totally agree with her and do as you dam please!

Tell her to shut up or you will eat her too :rofl::rofl:

If your confident in yourself then plz don’t let 1 persons opinions destroy that!! If u want to loose weight then loose it, if not then don’t xx

Tell her unless you’re sitting on her face, she can shut up about your weight :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye::kissing_heart:

Telling you from experience. 10 years of fighting with my ex husband because his mother wouldn’t stay in her lane. She was always always the cause of our arguments.

I’m truly sorry you got saddled with one like I had

I would straight up tell her to respect me. And also add a few f bombs in there with it. That is not okay AT ALL. And it is not her place AT ALL to make ANY comment to you like that. I would literally be infuriated. And I would tell my husband straight up to put his mom in check. And also like some of the other comments said, bring chips and salsa. Ask for everyone to go out to eat ice cream or something. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes::stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

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Maybe she wants a partner to do fitness with. I’d be totally game

Side note, has anyone realized i don’t think the OP sees our advice unless we reply in the first comment link thread.

I would just tell her no thanks. I can do it on my own. Then do it in your own. Shock them when lose a bunch of weight without their help. If they are being helpful when say it and acting nice and not rude…maybe take them up on their offer and try to bond some during. Some people are just naturally helpful. Sometimes doesnt hurt to accept their help. You need to lose weight and they are offering to help…why not? I did it with my MIL. Dieted and exercised and stuff. Ended up going to the gym was a better fit but i did give her way a try. Why people get so offended so easily i dont know. Staying that weight is just going to cause health issues. Might as well get on the weight loss trail while have others to do it with you. Doing it alone isnt nearly as fun. Wish i had friends that lived nearby could go to the gym with. Im now enemies with the MIL bc her daughters brainwashed her into hating me while she is living with them. Dont have anyone to continue healthy living and exercise goals with. Mainly use an exercise ball and do jumping jacks or jump rope now at home and call it a day.

I’m with Claire Louise Mcdonald :rofl::rofl: everytime I showed up to visit id bring chips and dip… :rofl:

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Sit on her! Tell her your mouth not only can eat - but you can suck start a Harley which is WHY you’re in the ‘family’! Ask her if she can top THAT!

Tell her how you feel about her comments and ask her to stop.

stay home send alone

I understand you may be trying to help but i am comfortable with my body and my husband loves me as I am. I will contact you if I wish to initiate working out with you but until then my body snd my weight is no longer up for debate. If you continue to bring it up, i will know you refuse to respect me and will seperate myself and limit contact to thise that respect my wishes for my body. Now, shall we talk about something else? How’s so and so?

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Bake her some shut the f up cakes

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Tell her to step back and tell her you happy with your body

Tell her to mind her own dam business

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mother in law keeps making comments about my weight: Advice? - Mamas Uncut

Playing devils advocate here but is it possible that she’s just trying to use her lifestyle as a way to bond? Like, she invites you to work out with her as a way to spend time together?
I would gently let her know that these comments make you uncomfortable and you’d prefer for her to stop then maybe suggest something to do together that you’d both enjoy. If she continues with her rudeness then your husband needs to speak up.

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You are not overreacting! Tell her your weight is between you & your doctor. I’d also be very concerned if she tries to push this on your children!

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Your hubs should have your back. I had an older, portly male relative who kept commenting on how thin I was at the time. I had enough of his judgement and and came back at him, saying that I was comfortable with my weight and added that he might not appreciate someone judging him because he was overweight. He shut up. You are a grown woman and you have the right to speak up and tell your m-i-l to cease and desist. Shame on your husband for not standing up for you.

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YOU are not over reacting. Try try try to live your life & be happy with who you are…she really doesn’t count in this story. I would not even be involved in her life…
You have your own. I hope your husband steps up to be more on your side but if not, then so be it…his loss! Best wishes to you! You deserve more than that kind of mother I law.

Never ask a lady her age, her weight or her true hair color. I was a W.W. leader for 10 years & I mentioned this answer to a few of my members. It is a very nice way of saying zip it. It usually works. Give it a try.

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You are not over reacting. People who are obsessed with other people’s weight are usually very unkind. Think of a good…firm but kind…comeback and ignore their disrespect. Passive aggressive suggestions that you " diet and work out" with them can be stopped with your assertive statements. Don’t expect your husband to counter them. Mine didn’t. Stand up for yourself and don’t be afraid to set boundaries.

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Tell her that her opinion has been noted…So, in the future keep it to herself…And, tell your husband to grow some :baseball::baseball:

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Look up and move on. As long as you’re fine with yourself that’s all that matters. You’ll never please everyone and that’s ok!

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If you like her as a person otherwise, I would ask her to go for a coffee with you to discuss something that’s been bothering you and be honest with her. Say you appreciate her concerns but you are comfortable with your weight and you are healthy and that’s all that matters. Tell her that her comments are making you feel insecure and you want to have a strong relationship with her instead of resenting her and avoiding her. That should do it. Good luck.

She thinks she’s helping… obviously if she’s done this her whole life. Thin people actually think heavier people over eat on purpose or can’t eat healthy or can’t even exercise on their own. Be honest with her. Tell her how u feel. If she continues….just raise ur hand and firmly say DONT or STOP!! Husbands have a hard time with confrontation between their mom and wife and he obviously is leaving this one for u to handle. You should be able to handle this yourself.

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Be happy in your own skin!
Simply remind her that people come in different shapes and sizes and that we aren’t all built to have the same type of body type as her
You can also let her know that your comfortable with yourself and that if she’s not then that’s ok but she still has to respect you just like you respect her and how she is
You also need to remind your husband that him not validating your feelings just as much as he validates his families hurts you
And that people are raised different ways just because he was brought up a certain way and to eat healthier and to have a thinner figure doesn’t mean it’s available to someone else

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my MIL is the same way. i went a few times to appease the situation but i had noticed she herself wasn’t exercising properly so she would get annoyed with me and eventually stopped inviting me.

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Tell her to shut up and keep her comments to herself. If you are comfortable in your body, that is all that matters. Do not give others permission to bring you down. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. As for your husband, he needs to grow some balls and stand up to his mama. YOU should be defended by him.

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Just comment on how old she’s getting and that you have a great wrinkle cream and advice her on how to look younger. If she wants ti “help”(bully) you lose weight, you can “help” her look younger too.

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My 80 year old dad looked at me one day and said “baby you’re getting fat”, without missing a beat I said,”daddy you’re getting old, I can do something about my weight “. :rofl::rofl::rofl:

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I would simply tell her “thank you for you’re concerned but, I am handling my health.” And then if it’s brought up any more, just excuse yourself from the conversation.

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Tell her to stop, although I know that will be hard. I grew up with my mother always having a go at me about my weight I hated it she made me feel I was worthless cos I was over weight. You’re not over reacting it’s nasty and mean. Your husband should be standing up to her on your behalf. So sad :disappointed:

I remember my mother in law did this to me all the time and I am a fit person. She would randomly look at me as say I gained weight…honestly I think she did it to irritate me. One day she told my my legs were looking bigger and I responded by telling her that her face looked like a water melon. She never commented on my body after that.

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Thank her nicely for the offer but that it is unnecessary at this time as you are very happy with your body and how you look, but that you really appreciate the fact that she has offered assistance. Tell her that she is the best mother-in-law anyone could have - maybe even throw in a bunch of flowers - in other words kill her with kindness :cherry_blossom::joy:

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Don’t know what is worse, I am 25 lbs over weight and my mother in law tells me I am to skinny. This is coming from a woman that use to weigh over 300 lbs. Now she is about 20 lbs over weight…can you say sabotage.

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Perfect response for these kinds of family - “I’m glad you mentioned it. I’d been thinking about losing some, especially after noticing you had been packing on a few and thought maybe you might need some encouragement”. They’ll be so focused on themselves they’ll forget about you!

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No you’re absolutely right and I would sit with her and respectfully say to her that it is offensive to you and it is bothering you and that you would like to just get it out there and say maybe you’re fine being skinny maybe I would think you look unhealthy but that’s your right please don’t keep on saying that to me thank you

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I think,u would simply tell her “thank you for ur concerned n care but, I am handling my health well n satisfiedwith who im.” And then if it’s brought up any more, just excuse yourself from the conversation coz eventually we should respect them even if they mind our busines, sometimes we need to upgrade our tolerance rate for elderly people coz they r our blessing :raised_hands:

Maybe she just wanna hang out and that’s what she does to connect with the women in her life. Try inviting her to something you like to do

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