My mother in law keeps making comments about my weight: Advice?

My mother-in-law is constantly making comments about how much I weigh…I do not get it. Their family is all super skinny and fit, and she is constantly asking me if I want to diet with her and work out with her. I am 5’8 and weigh 200lbs and know I have some weight to lose, but I feel fine about how I look. All of her comments make me so insecure, and my husband grew up with this, so he does not see an issue with the things she says to me. I don’t even want to visit anymore, but he keeps telling m that I am overreacting. What do I do?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mother in law keeps making comments about my weight: Advice? - Mamas Uncut

I understand exactly how you feel… if you are happy with yourself don’t let others comments get to you.

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Tell her that her son likes his woman chubby under the sheets. :wink::joy:

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You need to stand up for yourself & check her. I’m thin. I’ve always been thin. People comment on how I need to eat a sandwich or gain some weight. I’ve started telling people straight up- Mind the business that pays you. My weight is not your concern and I’m not about to stand for you to continually disrespect me. And tell your husband that you’re allowed to feel however you want to feel whether he agrees or not.

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Put her in her place. Your hubby is happy and you are so screw her and her bullshit comments. I bet you’re beautiful :heart:

I’d tell her to fuck off lol

Ask mama if she would like to visit with your plastic surgeon for a little nip and tuck around the hairline and neck area-that should shut her up.

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I would just kindly thank her for the offer for help, and your ok at this time. If she pushes it, let her know that you done talking about it. If she continues to push, you tell your husband that even though he is ok with that talk, your not and they need to respect your boundaries.

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You need to tell him that although it is something he is accustomed to it hurts your feelings and makes you feel insecure. If he still does not understand then I would just tell him you won’t continue to put yourself in those situations with your MIL. It isn’t good for your mental health.

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Tell her straight out to shut up. Obviously she wasn’t taught respect. Time for her to learn.

Tell her that her son has no issue with your weight obviously, he lays down with you at night. Also, tell her you love your body and you’re sorry she doesn’t love hers.
Skinny skinny ain’t cute. I have a medical condition that causes me to not keep weight on and I WISH I had curves :confused: I’d distance myself from her as much as possible. She’s toxic and judgy and us women need positivity and love. I feel your spouse needs to take up for you.

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Bullying is bullying it doesn’t matter who is doing it. My mother used to do the same just not as frequently, I eventually just got tired of it and stood up for myself. I wouldn’t tolerate that disrespect from my mom and I would definitely not tolerate it from my in laws!

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Hold your grounds, this is unacceptable. Dealt with this crap for a long time. Not my mil. But others. Do not take this crap. & your husband needs to see what is really going on. It’s rude as shit to disrespect someone.

Tell her you’re perfectly happy with the way you look and how you eat…then tell her maybe if she ate more she wouldn’t be so judgemental :wink::grin::open_mouth: she’s probably just hungry :woman_shrugging:

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Tell her to seek therapy. The MIL

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Maybe it’s not really about your weight, maybe shes offering to work out and diet together as a bonding thing if that’s how shes always lived, you can just tell her you’re happy with your body and dont feel the need but I wouldnt let it get to you too much if you havent spoken up at all, if you’ve told her already and it keeps coming up then you need to let her know how it’s making you feel, dont underestimate her and assume the worst, just try and talk it out! :two_hearts::v:t2:

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I know this is easier said than done, but remember this below! You do not need to please her! I really hope she’s just caring about your health, and not your appearance! Just tell her that you love the way you look, and she’s slowly changing that love of your body with her comments.

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I would say thank you so much for thinking about me but I am perfectly happy with body!! And I would say it every time she says something😉

my mother in law done the same thing to me for years… so i started with your son loves me the way iam onto sorry i know how to cook maybe your son should start cooking your recipes and id losse wieght because its nasty…

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Tell her if shes so worried about it… she can cook your meals and watch your kid while you try to take care of yourself…
Oh. She wont. Then she can mind her business. It’s not her life. She needs to worry about herself. Find a friend. And eff off with that nonsense.

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I’d be livid! I’d also find reasons to avoid the hoggitha of a woman. I’ve had some people make comments about my weight and I’m average . It definitely hurts and it definitely makes a person insecure. Maybe just ask her directly why she keeps asking? Especially since you’ve said no multiple times. it’s so disrespectful. Your husband should also have enough sense to know that it hurts you and tell his mom to stop!

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First, regardless of how he sees it, as your husband if it upset you he needs to back you. Second, know it has nothing to do with your weight. She’s taking cheap shots as narcissists do. Third, tell her that her unhealthy look on health and weight are why he chose someone bigger. I promise it’s true and he probably doesn’t even realize it.

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You are not over reacting. Your feelings are valid

Tell her if she doesn’t stfu you’ll eat her.
Ugh I hate it when people can’t stop themselves from being assholes. Half the time they don’t realize they’re doing it because they’re so use to it.

“You make me feel like shit when you make shitty comments about my weight. I am no longer tolerating this. It is NOT your business”

Seriously you are too heavy for your height…sorry Hun., you’re fat.

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No you are not I wouldn’t want to be around them

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You should not allow your self-esteem to lower, avoid visiting people like that and if they are in your house, ask them to stop the comments, the one who does not set limits, I will always be the carpet of others.

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I’d do dressed so u can see ALl my fatass with box of sweets and tell her we’ll ur son didn’t complainant night

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Grew up always being compared to my sisters who were all thin. I was built like my Father. Hoping to celebrate my 90th birthday in December. Outlived them all.

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MIL needs to keep her comments to herself. If she can not be respectful towards you…. Then she doesn’t deserve to see or spend time with you. As far as your hubby, he needs to be your advocate. When you tell him that it bothers you… then he needs to put a stop to it.

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Tell her to mind her own business

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Start making comments to her out of the way! Not intentionally hurt her feelings but maybe point out a flaw or something and keep doing it until you get a reaction, then say “now you know how I feel”

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Id tell my husband ok first chunky girl comment on her weight like ur mom would :slight_smile: then sit back and watch the train wreck

Let her know that you are happy with how you are. That yes you’re aware you may need to lose a few pounds but you don’t need her help or opinions on that matter. The constant underhanded put downs make you not want to be around her and you don’t want to feel like that. So to stop discussing your weight.

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Perhaps….they are being friendly and helpful……God love you all
L

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Well first off your husband should be backing you up 100% and not telling you you’re overreacting.

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Tell her to eat a cheeseburger.

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It may be a bonding thing. Some families go for walks, my MIL has invited me to go run with her and I’m not overweight. It may just be her way of bonding with you.

Just tell her you’re happy with your weight and suggest you do something else! Wine and paint night or bowling or something fun that you might like to do. If she continues to ask and push the issue, I would be more direct but I wouldn’t be nasty back right off the bat.

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Tell her your hubby loves more cushion for the pushin :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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She could just care about your health. I offer my friends to work out with me because I care about them and want them to have a better future. I don’t do it in a way to hurt there feelings and make sure of it. My friend has now lost over 100lbs and is feeling much better. It’s your body in the end and if you are ok with your weight then just tell them that you are comfortable in your own skin. Either way I hope things get better. It’s never easy to deal with family members like that.

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Tell her how you feel . It will be ok. Communication is key .

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Your not overreacting! My ex husbands father made comments about my weight when we visited after I had my daughter and it just never stopped. I told me ex and he said he’s say something but probably never did. Put your foot down with her and let her know how it makes you feel and just go from there.

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Tell her the only weight you’re losing is the weight of her and anyone else’s opinion.

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Tell her it’s not her face you sit on, therefore your weight is not her concern.

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“I’m happy with how I look and feel healthy, but if you’re asking me because you want to spend time together that could be fun, but maybe we do something we both enjoy?!”

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Stand up for yourself. Tell him that it actually does upset you she does that and if he respects you then he’d say something to her. He should’ve by now. Also, since she wants to put you down, do her how she does you. Pick out flaws on her and make it a point to tell her about them, you can do that in a nice way that’ll still get your point across. The way she talks to you, talk to her. Some people will put you down and not care until you speak up and do them the same. You can try to address her first and tell her you don’t like how she talks to you and she needs to stop but if she doesn’t then pick out her flaws. Stand up for yourself, don’t play the victim. You can stand your ground if you choose to.

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My in-laws looovveee to comment about my weight! I was made fun of at a Christmas dinner I wasn’t invited to but my sister was (we married brothers) the one skinny sister in law was making fun of me with a flipping miss piggy doll in front of everyone! Then my oldest sis in law loved calling me a heifer constantly an my husbands uncle caught us out a few weekends ago while doing some shopping. He proceeds to look into my vehicle an tell me that I must be eating all the food because I’m fat an my husbands still skinny after being married 15 years! My husband is 6’5 an maybe 180lbs soaking wet. I used be super skinny until my health issues started. They are so closed minded that they think I sit home an eat all day! I cut them all off two years ago over some drama an life has been so much better! Tell her that if she doesn’t like your weight to not look at you an your perfectly happy with how you look! Me personally, I’d tell her off an tell her to shut her mouth but that’s me :joy::woman_shrugging:t3:

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i need a friend to improve my English language skills…

Put both your husband and mother in law in their places. No reason why she should be talking and he needs to stand up for you

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Tell her your weight can be fixed, but ugly goes to the bone

I agree that if your MIL is a really active person she maybe just asking to spend time with you and do her activities together. So just say things like well, I’d be happy to do something together the next time I’m free, but let’s figure out something we’d both like to do and make some other suggestions. If she then turns you down and starts talking about how she wants you to exercise then you can be direct and let her know that you want to decide that for yourself and you would appreciate it if she would respect that.

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Tell your husband to reach down and find them. If it bothers you, it should bother him. More issues here than just your smart mouth mother-in-law.

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When she starts talking about anything negative do this :fu:and the same for the husband

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You are medically obese 36. Pounds over. Just tell her you are working on it.

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Tell her to stfu that she doesn’t need to make you feel less than

Throw the whole in laws away

“Thanks for the invite, but I feel great about myself today. I believe in a life of self love, and my children will not learn body shame from me. If ever I feel I would like to do something about my weight or if I choose to start working out, weight or not, I’ll be sure to consult a professional.”

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Just tell her “I’m completely happy and comfortable with how I look”
Shut her up

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Tell her you’re fine the way you are and to please stop. I’m insecure too, my husband’s family are skinny, but they’ve accepted me and I’m blessed that they love me as is. It’s hard for me to change anyway with all these health issues and stress. I hope things get better for you because family should be about love, not judgement.

Call her out on it! Tell her we come in all shapes and sizes and you hope that she can learn to love you just the way you are. You’ll feel so much better.

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I would tell her how uncomfortable it makes you and your husband obviously loves your look and body so at the end of the day…. You and him are all that matters

If your husband already is proving himself unwilling to stand up for you, it’s only going to get worse. Trust me. You need to discuss your feelings with your husband alone and tell your MIL that what she is saying is inappropriate and uncalled for. It’s time for women to stop minimizing themselves and stop feeling like they have to change just to suit everyone else.

Tell her your son doesn’t seems to mind when he’s laying that pipe down….fuck that bitch! :woman_shrugging:t3:

It’s sooooo rude, just get her told.
You don’t pass comment on her body/fitness etc so she shouldn’t on yours!

I personally think that ur weight is fine if anything ur underweight sweetie

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I went off on my fiancee’s sister in law because she was always telling me the best ways to loose weight and to get healthy when I got hurt at work and now I need a double hip replacements. And she didnt understand that when u cant barely walk you cant do lots of excercises. I told her it makes me uncomfortable when people assume they know me and assume they know all of my problems and just assume that there way is the best way and that I dont appreciate her fat shaming me all the time. And it woke her up she thought she was helping and being kind and caring but in actuality it hurt and made me feel like I wasn’t good enough. When I told her I had enough of her trying to be kind and telling me what she feels was best for me. She apologised and hasn’t actually talked to me since :thinking: but I’m better off. My fiancee loves me with or without weight issues and that’s all that matters is his support and love. I’m sorry the in laws are being rude to you and I know it hurts. I suggest standing up for yourself and your emotional feelings and tell them that you appreciate there efforts of caring but they need to butt out.

Narcissistic much, is she?

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Fk her, Deep throat a damn cupcake in her face and never look back :woman_shrugging:t3::v:t3:

So…tell her that her son loves it and to zip it. Problem solved.

Lol that’s fucked but I think m-I-L will always have something to say wether intentional or not

Tell her you’re happy just the way you are, but you’d love a lunch date.

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Your husband needs to have your back in this and tell your MIL to back off and keep her lips zipped when it comes to your weight.

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Be straight up with her about it. It may be awkward but it’s better than suffering in silence.

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“I don’t need to fit in your jeans or your standards. Mind ya damn business.”

She may just be trying to make sure her husband’s wife is healthy. Medically, you are considered obese, and she may be trying to make sure you keep your heart strong and healthy amongst other obese related health issues. I would talk to her and just let her know you feel uncomfortable by her comments and your doctor feels your are healthy and strong

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I am not you. But if I were in this situation I would tell her to kiss my A$$ and to mind her own business.

She’s not nice remove yourself if she’s going to be immature

Tell her that unless its her face that you are sitting on, she needs to mind her business.

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You tell her to stfu and stop being toxic. If she’s worried about your health she needs to say just that. That’s different. I’m the same height and weight and hate it

Find a polite way to say you find it uncomfortable when she brings up your weight, your happy with the way you are but thanks for the offer .

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Yeh tell her to shut the fuck up . And remind her she’s an old bag .

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I’m so sorry she’s making you feel uncomfortable! If YOU want to lose weight, do it for YOU and on your time, no one else’s. “Dieting” is a waste of time. Portion control is more realistic.

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I would just open up a snack cake, take a bite and tell her you aren’t interested in her diet tips.

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Tell her to get a face lift …she’s too old lookin

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Don’t visit then, its your life and your choice how you live it. And when she asks just tell her its rude and has hurt your feelings

Stand your ground, be proud of who you are.

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Tell her to shut the hell up :woman_shrugging: and go on with your life. If you are happy with yourself don’t worry with what she has to say

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Tell her, you love your body but if she ever wants to do lunch/dinner dates for that you’d be down. :sunglasses:

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You not over reacting. How darw them body shame you
As long as you feel good in your skin, that’s all that matters. And if your man dont speak up to his mother soon, then u need to

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I wouldn’t have married someone who thinks that that is acceptable behavior. :woman_shrugging:t2: Do you plan on having kids with him? Are you doing to allow your husband and your MIL to talk like that to your children? Because they’re going to and it’s not ok.

Ask her what can be done about her heart ?

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Tell her that if you were to lose weight you would just have to eat more to gain it back because you are at the weight you want to be. Tell her that you like you and she’s the only one with a problem.

5’7 180lbs here

If i ever had to choose between my mother in laws approval and all the foods… i would choose all the foods and im not ashamed :woman_shrugging:

Live happy baby :call_me_hand:t2:

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It’s not her business. Also you are tall. 200 isn’t much. You focus on what you want and how you choose to live. I agree with the crowd and hubby I hope is supporting you. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Tell her you appreciate that she’s thoughtful enough to include you in things she likes to do, however bodies come in all shapes and sizes, including mine & yours. Then if there’s a physical activity you like to do (biking, hiking, dancing, swimming, etc,) invite her to come with you on an outing.

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I would honestly tell her flat out, " I am happy w the way I look! Would you like to go get some ice cream w me?" For real though, just tell her how you feel. Good luck❤️

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My grandmother is similar with this. She was a nurse for 40 years so she makes comments bc ahe wants me to be healthy. I just say yeah ok and move on. Sometimes she will say something about what im eating or how much of it I have and i just say ok and continue to eat what I want. All she wants is for me to be healthy and she and i both know that im considered to be obese (5’4 190lbs). Being obese causes problems with your heart. This is how I think about it. If i were you I would just say ok and do what you want. She probably doesn’t mean to hurt your feelings or anything.

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Tell her you love her concern but you are happy with yourself and have no desire to change. Tell her she makes you feel insecure and would appreciate it if stops the criticism.

Tell her what you just said here.