My mom and I haven’t had a good relationship since I had my first daughter about 7 years ago. When I first had her, she tried to take over the “mom” roll. Was trying to get my daughter to call her mom, and it ended up working. She kept telling me she would try to stop and change her ways but still does it to my two girls to this day. When I found out I was pregnant with my 2nd daughter 7 months before my wedding. My husband and I were already married but decided we wanted to have an actual wedding. She went and told my sisters that she was embarrassed by me because I was going to be 7 months pregnant for my wedding. I told her before that statement that I was fine with being pregnant and I wanted to continue with the wedding. Her sister and her called my venue trying to get the date switched because she didn’t want me to be 7 months pregnant at my wedding. She tried taking over my wedding. She wanted me to get a different dress because mine wouldn’t look good on me. She wanted me to switch my theme because she didn’t approve. I failed school because I was so stressed from being pregnant and dealing with her. After that she started to drink a lot. Would go out all the time. My husband and I had asked her to watch our girls so that we could go on a honeymoon 3 years later. I got phone calls while in Florida she was drunk and supposed to be taking care of my kids. We were gone 4 days. I was livid and lost my trust in her. She continued to drink and ended up cheating on my dad. While my mom was doing all of that, my dad really stepped up. Takes my daughter to school, comes to grab the kids, calls the kids, and shows up for school events. They ended up filing for divorce, and my mom still was going out “partying.” I ended up having my 3rd child 4 months ago, and she didn’t see him till he was 3 weeks old. She told everyone and anyone I was keeping the kids from her and chose my dad’s side. I have her friends and family messaging me all sorts of stuff that my mom was saying to them. Like you haven’t seen my kids because you’re too busy in the bar, that is why you don’t see my kids. My dad rarely goes out, and like I said, he’s been there. Well, it got to the point when my mom was asking my 7 year old how my marriage was and what mom and dad do and if we are getting along… like what??? I slowly got over that, and she took my girls recently, and we got into a big argument because she wouldn’t send my kids home with their dad(my husband). Let me remind you she wouldn’t take my 4 month old because he was too much work and only took my girls. (She could take my sisters 2 months old, though.)I was out at an event. My daughter came home saying I never let her see her. I never let her sleep over, and I never let her spend him with her. When she saw them Thursday night and Saturday. I don’t trust her to do sleepovers. I am over the drama with her. What would you do?
I would have ended it with her along time ago
Cut her off completely for eight months. And if she can’t be a good person you may have to just ignore it.
Hugs. Not everyone can trust their parents. It’s not your fault and it is your responsibility to protect your kids.
This is what you need 
She’s cool when she’s available to watch your kids but when she’s not then you get butt hurt. Trust her to watch your kids during the day but not overnight. Make this make sense. Yes it maybe be too much for her to have 2 children and a newborn at the same time as opposed to having a 2 montg old only. Yeah she’s right you have taken sides as far as your parents relationship is concerned.
My mother is the same way. And I refuse to allow my children around her. And there’s not a single day I regret cutting her out of my life. Children need healthy role models and safe environments. And if your mom cannot stay sober or refrain from speaking badly about their mother, then she doesn’t need to be around. Definitely do not be letting her watch your kids especially if she’s drinking. Don’t feel bad about cutting off toxic people. I assure you once you get over the guilt, you are better off.
I’d cut contact. I had to do it with my mom. My situation was a little different but I cut all ties and when she got control of her life and cleaned up her act we slowly started having a relationship again. Yes my grandma gave me flack constantly over it but for the better of me and my mental health it was necessary. We have a way better relationship now and healthy boundaries that work for both of us
Cut ties & never look back.
Cut all contact . When my kids were young if my friends/family weren’t good role models my kids never met them !
Stand your ground! Do not let her walk on you or guilt trip you! They are your kids and if its toxic cut ties. Maybe have a conversation as to why ties are being cut and will stay cut until if/when things change significantly for the better! I know it can be hard but you got this momma! If the kids ask (depending on age) you can say some adult things are going on and until they are fixed you won’t be going to grandmas or (younger) grandma is a very busy person and we are busy and schedules don’t line up for sleep overs or visits right now… There are things you can tell the kids and eventually they will stop asking or it will be few and far between…
I wouldn’t have let her watch my kids again after going out drinking the first time…there would have never been a 2nd chance. All communication would have been cut
Sounds like it’s time to go no contact.
Your mother has proven again and again that she doesn’t respect you, your marriage or your children. What possible benefit is there to continue a relationship with her?!
It’s long past time to cut her out completely and anyone who takes her side.
Shes toxic. Possibly mental health and addictions. Its hard and yes we all want our kids to have relationships with their grandparents. But we want those relationships to be healthy. Id cut ties.
Just because she’s your mom doesn’t mean you have to deal with her. If she’s toxic cut her off.
Stop judging people first off and then quit expecting things from people if she gave you the truth that she couldn’t handle a 5 month old or however old why is she in the wrong here ?? Because you don’t like it ? You sound like a brat to have as a daughter I wish her luck and patience 
Cut contact. It all sounds toxic. Stop letting her have your kids regardless if she’s grandma. Re read your posts, toxic and red flags all the way around. Good luck
Ugh didn’t even finish reading. CUT HER OFF…no need for this toxic relationship.
Block whomever. Especially if they are dumb enough to listen to one side. Youve got a good grandparent. Embrace THAT. Screw the rest.
You should have cut her out years ago. She is toxic and you actually wanted her to babysit? Really? Keep your kids away from her. You should have done that when your kids started calling her mom at her requests. You have let her abuse you for way too long. Absolutely choose your dad’s side because they are decent people. Cut her off because she will eventually get your children to turn against you if you don’t.
You should immedietely put up big boundaries for “Gramma Shitshow” and anytime she does have access to your kids keep her on a very short leash
Cut contact. Block family members that contact you about it (it’s none of their business).
Tell her you are cutting contact until she attends Alcoholics Anonymous at least once a week and gets therapy at least every two weeks for a year. Then do so. Your job is the safety of your kids and they are not safe with your mom. She has deep seated mental problems and is an alcoholic.
You created your own drama by bad mouthing your mom, but when it’s convenient for you and you want a sitter…call mom…
Cut her off from seeing them, they don’t need no nasty ass gramma. Take Care of you and yours
My mom is a drama queen and toxic. I finally told her that I would only call her on her birthday, mother’s day and Christmas. If she wants to talk to talk to me drama free then she can call me. She only calls to whine and I let her know I don’t have time to hear that. I also told her to call me if something horrible happens to her medically.
Why continue to let her see them? You said she was doing this and that then let your kids still go over there. After her trying to go behind your back to change your wedding date should of been the time to say no more. Your children see all of it, not just the adults. She might be your mother but there becomes I line of tough love and letting her go on her own path without you and your children. Even though she does all of this to you and your children, you let her as your allowing it by going back everytime she messes up. Think about those children first before they need a councilor for all the crap your dragging them through.