Together with my fiance, near ten years, I have a seven yo boy; we lived together for about eight years. I have anxiety and depression, on medication to help, it’s mainly controlled well, I occasionally have bad days where I’m tired, and don’t really want to talk, I work full time—managing a shop and supervisor of the adjoining restaurant. We live next door to his parents. Recently was told by my boss that a customer approached him to let him know that my fiancé’s parents are going around telling people that I’m mentally unstable and not fit mind our son and that they want to take him. My boss obviously doesn’t think I’m unstable or unfit, I do my job well, and we have kids the same age, and they know I’m a good mother. His parents have always been very vocal about how we should and shouldn’t bring up our son and how we should deal with different issues. Etc I have known this for about two weeks and haven’t mentioned it to my partner or his parents, I don’t know what to do, how to approach it or do I suffer on and start sorting money and somewhere to move into with my son? Any advice appreciated
Wow, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. The best thing to do is to have an honest conversation with your partner and in-laws. The things your MIL is saying to others are disturbing and wrong of her. I’d definitely talk to all of them at once. Best wishes and I’m really sorry that she would defame you that way. What she’s doing is considered Defamation of Character/Slander.
Tell them to kindly F**k off!
Uhm… bring it up to your fiancé! And then go confront them. Could even go as far as threatening cops cause that’s defamation of character… especially Seens it got back to your boss… it’s possible you could have lost your job… snap on em All and tell fiancé you want to move… with or without him. Period.
Don’t start planning to leave without telling him what’s going on. He could very well be on the same page as you and as parents and a couple you have to be a team. Give him the opportunity to be that for you.
Maybe start saving money… But don’t move just yet… Talk to him BUT you had that gut instinct for a reason so don’t fully dismiss it.
Why would you plan to leave your fiancé for something his parents did and he doesn’t know about?
Tell his parents to fuck off. He also needs to tell them that.
Oh hell no! I’d cut all Contact and find a way to move away from his parents! One way to cross me is bad mouth me or ever attemt to take my kids!!
Talk to you significant other and if he tries to be anything other then behind you and on your side I’d gtf out!! But I’d have a talk with him first and just tell him he can keep his relationship with his mother but you and your child are taking a few steps back from her right now and that you wanna move to a place that’s not nextdoor to her for your mental health!
Me on the other hand my ratchet would have come out as soon as I heard this!! I would have confronted her like as soon as I got off work walked right in her house and been like you wanna explain why your talking about my mental health to others? I have a list of mental health disorders myself but they dont effect my parenting or take away from the fact that my daughter is vary well taken care of loved and happy!!
I would go right to your in laws and confront her, calmly, even though I’m sure you want to rip her head off!!! I, too am on meds for anxiety and have had a family member use it against me.
Get a solicitor. Defamation and slander. And cut contact ASAP.
Talk to your partner first
I’ve learned… that people in very thin glass houses, seem to be the ones casting the biggest and only stones they can find around…ur shatterproof home is safe. Tell your in laws maybe THEY need a diagnosis.
Even if it were true, they shouldn’t be going around talking to everyone and their brother about it. That’s just tacky and classless. Your partner is the one that needs to confront them and shut them down stone cold.
Tell your so immediately, what was told to your boss, and who said it. He can approach your in laws with the situation. If true, they need to know that you are aware of their plans. Jeopardizing your position ar work, and threatening your homelife, is not acceptable. Confront this situation head on. You will know what to do to restore peace in your life. Your so should have your back on this. This kind of stress is the worst kind of torment for anyone.
Well since you’re on medication clearly it’s documented you have some issues. Please don’t take that the wrong way. I am just having trouble finding the right words at the moment. Plus I suffer from the same thing. However, that does not mean you are unfit to raise your child. If you were the Dr and your child’s pediatrician would’ve said something. You would have cps at your door by now and the father would have said something. You are holding down a job too. Maybe it’s time to move away from them.
Talk to your partner & figure out how to approach this. This is unacceptable.
Why leave your husband when his parents are the ones being dicks? That doesn’t make sense to me and actually does make you look bad.
Talk to him. Tell him what your boss said. He might agree or he might be appalled. Until you know for sure I wouldn’t do anything.
Dont talk abt your business and save save save , document all important exchanges with them or any thing odd and be ready just in case . Slowly back away in a non crazy way and watch from a safe distance, every ones true colors will show and when and if they do you will be a on top of it organized mother taking care of herself and her kid and not a crazy person
I would take it to court, that’s slander and harassment. And talk to your fiance, and if he isn’t on your side, i would leave.
You need to sit your fiance down and tell him. If he’s with his weight, he will then confront his parents and put an end to it.
Take it one step at a time. He needs to stand up to his parents for you.
Unless he’s talking trash behind your back to them?? That’s what my ex did all the time and now they dislike me for lies he’s told them because he didn’t want to look like the bad guy and tell them the truth. We are divorced now lol it was awful dealing with that. And it is so very hurtful. Hope you figure it out
Tell your husband. That’s such a gross thing his parents are doing. When you described yourself you described almost EVERYONE. Every day people manage there families homes and job with mental illness- it does not make you unstable.
Oh my I’d lose my mind on these jerks if I were you. Give em something to really talk about. But then again I’m sure with your son in the mix that’s not likely a great idea.
If your husband doesnt build a tall wall on your side if thing to his parents to mind there business and sftu abt you, then I’d leave.
Tell your fiancé. He’s going to notice that something is upsetting you. Be honest and communicate with him about what you were told.
I’d definitely tell your partner what’s going on first to see what he says, have him talk to his parents, then I’d make that decision. You’re on medicine for your issues, so obviously you’re taking care of yourself so there’s no way you’d be considered unfit and there’s no way they could prove you’re unfit to take him from you. And if he won’t stand up for you, stick up for yourself then leave.
The more you tell them about your life medication etc the more they will try and use this against you if things blow up. You or your partner need to confront them see what they say. You need to hear both sides of the story first. Would your partner have told his folks bad things about you? Just tread carefully don’t let your guard down With them which is an awful thing to do. You need to tell your partner. This will also give you an insight on your fiance if he has the balls to step up to them if it’s true what they have said then he should back you all the way
You have to learn to ignore these ignorant fools. You need to speak to your partner about it and he needs to stand up for you. According to my in-law family, i too have mental illness, seen 4 psychologists and yet not one has diagnosed or told me to be medicated. If anything they have said that even if I ever feel depressed, the depression has nothing to do with me but more about how they treat me, and therefore that situation needs to be addressed.
If you don’t know yet, what you need to do is find out the root cause of your depression/anxiety?
Good luck with it… stay strong!
Talk to your fiancé and tell him everything. If he refuses to confront his parents then I would start saving and looking at other options. Get supporting letters from your Doctors so you have their backing. Good luck
Hold on, if this is true they’re also planning on removing the child from their son; why wouldn’t he be on her side? I would talk to your partner about the issue and confront them together. If he doesn’t listen then you should think about what that does to your mental health and save to get out. In all honesty suing them for slander would take a lot of your time and mental and financial resources of which you could be building for your family. People believe what they want to believe, it’s not worth the hassle in my opinion.
Tell your partner who said what .its always wise for women to have some cash stashed away for emergencies. It’s no different for men.your situation can change in a heartbeat.
So your fiancé doesn’t know this ( presumably) and your going to pack up and leave ? How the hell do you think that is a conceivable choice ? Talk to your damn fiancé about it!
Look for a new place to live then I’d be done with them the less they know about you the better
Tell your partner and let him deal with it. Distance yourself from his parents and keep your guard up. Not only are they bad mouthing you but telling people they want to take your kids implies they don’t trust their son with his child either. You don’t need people like that in your life. Focus on your own family unit and to hell with them
It’s a bit drastic, dare I say it … even “crazy” to up and leave your longterm partner and upheave yours and your childs life based solely on a round of “he said/she said” Either there’s a lot more going on with your partner that u haven’t mentioned or you really do just need to talk to him about this!!
If they’re lying and trying to take your child, I’d say its past time to cut them out of your life. If you don’t, nothing good will come of it. Been there done that.
Slap them with a cease and desist paper !
Defamation of character.
I’d save everything and sue
You need to tell your fiance what is going on he needs to set his parents straight I would same money in case honestly someone say they about me they wouldn’t be around me or our child