My husbands mom always displays the other 4 grandkids that she doesn’t get to see often cause the parents dont bring them around… yet our son hasn’t been “displayed” since he was only a few months old but she gets to see him every weekend for a few hours since his mother lives with mine and my grandmother. My grandmother watches our son while we pay bills on Saturday for a couple of hours, but when he is over there she barely comes out of her bedroom but then when the other grand kids are around she comes out to interaction/play with them. I feel lit is wrong because one day my 4 year old is going to understand that he is being treated differently than his cousins and that hurts my mom heart more than anything.
You cannot force others to love someone! Visit or care! You might bring it up in a coversation and ask her! Kindly! She may not feel that way at all!
Maybe she feels she doesn’t need the pictures because she gets to see him in person. ￼
I understand. I moved to Europe 8 years ago. My mom has said she was coming to visit since year #2 and never has. We’re not the only people with international families, however we are the only ones who never get visited. My son is 5 and already understands. You do your best. Unfortunately we can’t change other people’s actions but we can still make sure our children are loved. It still hurts me and my son but we move forward
Same way with tmy mom, she never sees my kids because we live in Byram and she lives in Monticello. She keeps my sisters kids all the time but doesn’t even see mine. My sister lives closer to her as well as my brother who she sees their children way more!
Yes, I understand . My very own flesh and blood mother played favorites . She had her favorite grandchildren and ignored the rest .
I always tried to talk to her about it but it just went right over her head . She couldn’t or wouldn’t see what she was doing .
You say she lives with your mom and grandmother, do they have photos up of your son? She may not feel the need to if he has photos in the home. In my opinion I don’t think it should matter as much since she doesn’t get to see those grandchildren often and your son is there every weekend. If it really bothers you then you should talk to her about what it means to you. Gift her a frame with your sons photo or have him gift it to her the next time he’s there.
I would gift her photos to hang.
What did she say when you asked her about it?
My in laws have 13 grandkids (two of them have passed on) four of them live with her, another three she never sees and haven’t seen in about four years and my kids they only see once a year because we live far away. She has ALL the kids pictures up except for mine. She even posts all the other kids on social media except for mine. Nothing breaks my heart more than for them to shower love all over the other kids an act like mine don’t even exist. My parents make up for it though they visit when they can and they video call every day. So I completely feel your broken mom heart.
Do you give her pictures?
Give her some framed pictures of him at different ages as birthday / Christmas/ mother’s day gifts - like hint hint hint
Have you given her a framed photo ?
If all the grandmothers live together why don’t the others have pics of him up
he only will make a deal if you make a big deal
Do you give her physical pictures? They might send her framed pics to hang. My mother has pictures, but only if I give them to her.
Umm… that’s favouritism. My kids step grandma has a big pic showing in her living room. Can only do is confront her or stop spending time with them
I was done this way…my kids are as well. We all notice and remember who cared and actually loved us, who we weren’t an obligation to, and then we appreciate those people when we grow up. We can’t change other people.
Ive come to accept it, they will understand when they are older who shows up for them. We just stopped asking for those who arent present in their lives. When they ask why so and so didn’t come we tell them, and dont make excuses.
I would give her a picture, framed if that’s how she has the others, and tell her that it is for her to display in her home like she does her other grandkids. And see what she does.
My mother has 5 grandchildren she doesn’t even want to know she hasn’t even meet most of them. But I’m sorry your going through this children definitely grow up and start to realise these things eventually but at the end of the day she is the one missing out on a great bond and relationship with her grandchildren.
I know the feeling. My oldest daughter is the only kid out of our 7 that is recognized by my husband’s parents. And my husband doesn’t understand why I don’t want anything to do with his parents
She might find hard to compete her granny’s spot with your mom and granny. Just saying.
I might just be different but I guess things like this just don’t over run me. Sure I might think, this is strange or kind of annoying but my kiddo is loved by others even if it’s not someone specific.
I would off some framed photos and see how that goes. If at that point she doesn’t display them (as you feel she should). You can either be bitter about it or you can let it go. When and if your kiddo notices and asks- I would point them in the direction of g-ma and said. G-ma, little kiddo would like to know why he doesn’t have an pictures up? Or I would simply explain to my kiddo, honey I don’t know. Maybe she has there photos up bc she doesn’t see them as often as you. How about we make one for her and we bring it to her.
You can not force someone to love or even to like your kids, the sooner you realize that the happiest you will be
I would feel the same way. Both my kids grandparents are like this. It bothers and upsets me. So many people favor grandchildren. My grandparents always did even. My husband has a 25 year old and our daughter is 9 months. You wouldn’t even know my daughter exists on social media for his parents. I feel like she’s hidden while his parents put his other daughter on there.
Just love your son and let him figure out his relationship with his grandmother.
You should give her a few framed photos and kindly mention you noticed she didn’t have any of your son and it bothered you, because in reality it is you that it bothers currently, not your son. It’s quite possible it would never bother him. The post does state she sees your son in person often, but not the others. It’s possible she would rather see them more in person and have less photos hanging. It’s possible that they are hanging due to being sent pictures vs being visited. I’m sure if you approach her respectfully, her response may shock you. I personally would rather see anyone I care about in person than in photographs. Also, put yourself in her shoes for a second, say you have a friend that you see weekly, or even monthly, but then you have one you get to see a few times a year, you will likely make a bigger deal about the one you see less, and it will simply be because you know you won’t be seeing that friend again for quite awhile… you will probably take photos, where as the one you see often, it will be a hug and see you soon. Not saying it’s so, only saying it is a huge difference, but situational difference, doesn’t mean that she is less close to your son, nor that she cares any less.
Set the record straight NOW with her. They’re either all treated the same or she won’t see them. Kids KNOW when they’re not loved. My grandmother favored me over my older sibling just bc of gender and it REALLY hurt him. He even became jealous and aggressive with me as we grew up over it.
Handle it NOW before she causes the same rift in your family.
I would just give them framed pictures of my children. If she lives with your grandma and and your mom why don’t they have pictures hanging up of him too? I feel like something is missing here.
My ex in-laws displayed all their grandkids photos on a big shelving unit in their jitchen for all to see accept for my daughter’s, our other 3 children’s were also displayed in their kitchen while my daughter’s was stuck in the back bedroom. I finally decided to just stop giving them photos of any of our kids and visited their home less and less. I figured it was their loss.
They have wonderful plug in pictures, that scroll through so many picteres! Gift her one with him on there! So fun to see! Love mine! My kids got one for me! It plays all the time!!
What ever happened to just speaking directly to someone?
Ask her. Why are there hardly any pictures of your grandson and why do you not interact with him when we come over? And how do you even know she hardly comes out of her bedroom? Are you asking or is there someone creating that drama by offering that info?
It feels the same when ur grandkids ignore the grandparents
Fret about something that isn’t so picayune