Dont do it!! Don’t do it!! Don’t do it!! People dont take marriage seriously anymore. It’s a commitment between 2 people!! When you got married you promised each other and God to remain faithful, to take care of each other, in sickness and in health until death do you part. 3somes do one thing and one thing only, divide! It creates jealousy, insecurity, and lust!! You’ll never be able to take it back. You’ll never be able to fix the issues it causes. I dont care what some people say it never turns out good!
Kick him to the curb
I hate when men do this crap😒 It can really taint the relationship so if your really serious about this man and it wasn’t your idea I honestly wouldn’t. It could lead to you feeling bad and looking at him differently and could ruin what you have. Ugh this crap annoys me so much! My current boyfriend:fiancé hasn’t ever mentioned this so far and we have been together for a while now and are going to have a baby and I hope that stays the same because honestly I don’t like it and have tried to play along and it wasn’t worth it. I understand things can sometimes become a little routine especially with family and kids taking up time. He needs to find a way to spice things up without bringing someone else into the picture in my opinion. Good luck hun and don’t feel bad for saying no and asking for your desires and needs met. You need to feel good about things too💖 Oh and also this can backfire on him badly so he needs to be careful what he wishes for. Things could get ugly🤷🏻♀️
It sounds like he might also want to explore being with another man too… they’re so young I doubt any of this was discussed during their 6 years.
Don’t ever do anything just because you think he will leave. If he were to eventually leave anyway, it would be way harder to recover because of the memories of the things you forced yourself to do for his benefit.
I suggest counseling.
Do not do it because you are already uneasy about it and it almost always ruins relationships
Unless YOU want it tell him to fuck off and not to mention it again unless he wants a divorce. Period!!
Dont do it! Threesomes are for porn, not happily married couples. What an asshole…
Kick the loser to the curb. He will ALWAYS cheat on you. He’s not worth spending any more time on.
If you’re feeling uneasy about it that’s your instinct telling you not to do it.
Not all fantasies need to be acted upon.
Regardless of what people say there is a lot to be said for monogamy. I know people who have caved to their significant other and regret it. Unless you’re totally fine with it then I would say NO! He might have more respect if you stand your ground and tell him this is not what you want.
I think he’s beingbooen and honest about wanting to spice things up. I would not do it if you have any doubts at all and honestly with a newborn you’re probably feeling not quite as sexy as normal, so seeing his eagerness with another sexy lady would destroy me. I’ve had a 3 some and it was just ok, long before marriage. Maybe watch more porn together, wear a wig, roleplay, try new positions, new toys …but I would tell him to stop asking for it immediately, its hurting your feelings…sending hugs
“To Yourself Be True”…
Girl if he’s wanting to sleep with other woman he does not love you.
Let him read this post.
Do what is comfortable for you in your heart.
Your only 22 ? Neither of you have (lived enough) …
Unless your both into this dont go there next be asking to wife swap !
Is this a real question, or a joke. Surely you know the answer without asking people
I’ll find the hardest manliness lesbians I can find and go for it:joy: I’m sure you would have way more fun than he will
The best advice I can give you is to be true to yourself. Does this mean he has a straying eye or not devoted to you absolutely not. Many couples have healthy polyamorous relationships. However it is through commitment on both parts. It isn’t for everyone and some people in modern society still don’t understand that these types of relationships can in fact be productive and healthy. Don’t do things that make you uncomfortable. Have a real conversation with you husband tell him your concerns and open the lines of communication with him. Don’t hold back tell him your fears. These types of relationships need constant communications between all parties.
You open that door you will regret it. Don’t allow his selfish fantasies cause you to feel self conscious about yourself because it has nothing to do with you
Yes y’all are very young, haven’t experienced much in life however chose to get married at such a young age. Being that’s the case, if you want to have a successful marriage DO NOT bring anyone into your marital bed PERIODT!!!
You think you feel some type of way now I guarantee if you give in & do what he ask your marriage is doomed.
Obviously you’re uncomfortable with it, stop his ass in his tracks now & tell him no and you don’t want to discuss it again.
Now if he goes outside your marriage & cheats then you need to decide if you want to continue calling him your husband
Personally my man would’ve been stopped before he could finish asking the question. Don’t insult me as a woman by even asking me shit like that & what about me would have you think in that narrow ass mine of yours that I would ever be down with that…never, eva gonna happen.
All men talk about and think about that…
Never and I mean NEVER invite anyone else into your marriage!!! Unless you want a divorce. Very disrespectful to you and your family for him to ask.
If you have any doubts or insecurities about a threesome, then decline. Maybe he wants to see you with another woman, are you up for that? If not, then tell him so. You have to be in touch with your sexuality to do this without fear, shame or jealousy. Talk to your man. Personally I think it’s too soon after the baby, you must be exhausted! Wait a few months, talk, set ground rules etc, then see where you stand before agreeing to big league stuff
It’s your marriage your life. Just know it will never be the same between you too. Also you know now your not enough for him. Sorry dear. Now you know the kind of person you married. Go with your gut feeling. I wish you the best.
Sounds like the 7 year itch to me. I wouldn’t do it if the idea makes you feel inadequate in any way. If you are entertaining the notion that you are not enough, or that there is something about you that has caused him to entertain this idea, you should re-think your commitment to this person. Have you ever entertained this idea before? Sounds like he’s seeking something he no longer gets from your relationship and that warrants strong consideration. Honor yourself.
DONT open that door…sexual perversion, fantasies don’t stop they grow…dont curse you and your children…your husband and you need some healthy counseling…
Do Not do it!! Tell him he can have his threesome with his hand, a sex magazine while watching a porn video on his mobile device all in the privacy of the bathroom…then he can take a hotshower after to relax his attitude
Tell that disrespectful asshole to go fuck HIMSELF. He doesn’t love you if hes asking for permission to cheat. Which is all that is.
As if marriage wasn’t hard enough !
Someone always dies in a three-way!
Once you invite a new person into your marriage & bed like that, it’ll never be the same.
I have a feeling he wouldn’t be so enthusiastic for it if you insisted you’d only do it if it was another man
Many ppl who open their marriages up like that have to set very strict rules & boundaries or else it implodes. Would he agree & abide by such rules? Or is this just him looking for an “easy” way to cheat under the guise of having your permission to cheat
Tell him to fuck off. If his not happy in the relationship then move on. Unless his already cheating.
My EX husband suggested that. I said no. He ended up having a 2 year affair. We are now happily divorced.
This is something all couples go through. It’s perfectly healthy, and normal. Do you trust your husband???
From what you’ve said it seems like he’s being respectful of your feelings. Have you explained to him what your fears are if this were to happen??? He’s willing to discuss this with you openly and honestly and that shows he respects you. If this is something that you’re open to doing, but now is not right timing for you, tell him that. Ask him to please table the discussion until a further date. Don’t expect that the subject will disappear altogether by asking to table it for now.
If he was going to cheat on you over this matter he would’ve done so by now. If he’s going to cheat on you he will regardless of what excuse he may give you for doing so. If he cheats then he’s not the one for you.
With age comes wisdom and confidence in yourself. Having a newborn baby comes a lot of extra emotions, and even lowered self esteem regarding our bodies. It seems as though the timing is just off at this point.
Noooo never invite another woman to your sex life,youl have insecurities and trust issues! You both made a vow in marriage! Better to be safe than sorry!
You do only what your willing to live with. So if it makes you uncomfortable and you have doubts, than it’s very simple dont do it. Al’s dont put doubt into your mind that he will cheat if not. Because if he does it HAS nothing what so EVER to do with you. Its his bad choice, but you cant live that way. If your not willing to, than tell him, be honest … I am not wanting to jeopardize our relationship and how I feel about us and about myself… sorry… but I am not budging… and he can live with it… simple… Spice things up in the room… Your young, grow together not apart… but never do anything that you think you would lose your self esteem over… Its your choice… so choose what you can live with… nobody else.
You ALL need to read “Passionate Marriage - Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Relationships” by David Schnarch PhD
If you don’t want to do something, just DON’T do it. Don’t ever let anyone manipulate you into something you feel uncomfortable with. And you can’t “proof your marriage” safe from an affair. People who cheat are selfish narcissists who feel entitled to an affair. They hv no empathy. People who LOVE YOU truly, don’t put you down, LISTEN TO YOU, acknowledge your needs, have EMPATHY. First of all you are his wife, the mother of his two small babies - he should take care of you and your needs first instead of thinking only of his sexual fantasies and manipulating you and putting you down. It’s time to set some boundaries.
You dig your own grave!!! You allow garbage in, garbage comes out. You have no boundaries? Your marriage will crumble. There’s no going back after this line is crossed. Respect is gone!!
My goodness, married with 2 children at the age of 21??? Neither of you have had any time to figure out what life is about, and you’ve already created two more…Hang on dear, cuz it’s going to be a bumpy ride…
Hes young minded, plus young in age too. He will feel pressured being around his friends especially how much fun it was “getting girls”… It may just be a phase or may not. A marriage is between two people but nowadays people are doing things differently. It’s how you feel about the situation that can actually make it work or not. You have to have enough trust in your partner to do something like this. Maybe marriage wasn’t the thing to do right now… then again it’s your life.
Don’t do it. I never did it,however I have friends who did it and regret it .
If that was a fantasy he had for a minute then his ass should’ve stay single . Dont do it, value yourself
Pick a drop dead gorgeous sexy man. He first said you could pick either. Bet he changes his mind when he is stressed and can’t get it up!!
Well bring in a dude and let’s see if it changes his 'tude.
Did your marriage vows include a 3rd party? I think not.
Dont do it just to please him. He should have more respect and consideration for you. You just had a baby…
Wow, you are a young mom with a new born. 2 children, this is something that shouldn’t even be on your radar. It’s completely selfish of him. You’re at a point in life with 2 young children and barely a minute to yourself. Trying to be the best mom, a good wife, a family. It’s hard enough to find time for a sex life let alone worrying about a 3 some! It’s also a very insecure time for a woman. So NO. You are not inadequate in any way. You do you! If he doesn’t like it. He’s not the one for you!
You deserve so much better than that. I’m sorry you’re going through this. If it doesn’t make you feel comfortable, tell him you don’t want to do it.
Well if your doubting it don’t. Some couples are strong enough to do those things and stay together. I’m not one to do that. Good luck
Tell him a 3 sim with another male… see him change his mind
I would say don’t do it based on your post you’re not sure about it anyways and when you get married it’s for a reason at least that’s what I believe… there would be no way in hell I would be allowing or willing to let my husband dip his dick into somebody else ever
I’d like to weigh in on this topic having experience this before from both sides.
Most men desire to have a threesome. It’s more common today than ever. However it comes with a huge cost. If both parties are not secure in who they are and in their relationship it’s a matter of time before it’s over. Inviting someone into your relationship for a brief moment is a lie. It’s a lifestyle change.
If you enjoy it then you desire more. Then it just grows from there. Many relationships have ended because this lifestyle isn’t for everyone. Here’s a few questions:
1. Are you ready to watch your mate become intimate with someone else.
2. Are you prepared to know that your sex really isn’t that superb as you thought it was?
3. Can you watch your man penetrate another woman? Can your man watch another man inside you?
4. What about oral sex? Are you prepared for this intimate act?
These are just some of the things you must consider. Once you open Pandora’s box be ready for the changes that follows!!
Fantasy should remain… Just a fantasy…
Tell him you agree to the threesome, but you want it to be with 2 guys.
Do not do it. I did when mine asked and it took years for me to be comfortable with him again
All he wants to do is cheat on you & if you agree to do it then you’re giving him your permission to cheat on you.
No no no. It won’t work … ever . You obviously don’t want to do it but to be frank I think your marriage /relationship is dead in the water already because you are now always going to have it in your head that you aren’t enough for him xx
Do some research on ethical non monogamous relationships, read some books, online blogs, go to meetings (in my area there are support groups that help in dealing with the mental and emotional aspects of such an encounter) before making a decision either way. There is no such thing as a one time thing, it will stay with both of you for the rest of your life. As someone else said it is a lifestyle change and with any change there is some disturbance. I’ve had great poly relationships and I’ve had some painfully not so great poly relationships, the exact same thing could be said for monogamous relationships. You have to be secure with yourself and have strong trust and communication with your partner. Start by educating yourself about alternative relationships and the work that goes with them.
Ah no advice, cause I’m just not the sharing kind!
Don’t do it! He’ll drop respect for you the minute you do it. Threesomes or orgies are a single persons’s sport, I don’t think it should be a couples sport. I’m speaking from experience, guys say they want a freak, which some do. What they don’t tell you is that they want a freak, they just won’t marry a freak or don’t want to be married to one.
Your body your choice but I’d not let anyone pressure me into things,so if his friend says they’ve had orgy is that gonna be another fantasy he wants?? AIDS hiv venereal diseases ? Are those people clean ? Kinda things to think of ,
3 powerful words of wisdom:
DON’T DO IT
Threesomes or orgies are a single persons’s sport
Some relationships work with that lifestyle. Some men want their woman happy knowing they can’t satisfy on the physical level. Some women also feel the same way but that’s when the rules have to be set. I couldn’t do it and I feel that’s why my last relationship ended because women he was with before me did 3somes but I wouldn’t. Right now your focus is two little babies so ask him if he’d ever be okay knowing his choices could ruin what you have together. But you also need to tell him what happened to your self esteem when he keeps mentioning it and you’re not ok with it. You are married to him so he should love and respect you enough. If he doesn’t, show him the door and tell him he can’t come home if he finds another well to water or he can think about the life you have together.
Does anyone know how to get a question posted? I’ve emailed and messaged but they just ignore them
You’re damned if you do or don’t worse if you do. Just the thought of it is emotionally destroying you, doing it should be a hard pass. But you saying no is going to upset your husband so be prepared for everything from if you loved me you would to if you trusted me for real this wouldn’t bother you. He’s too young not to try these tactics on you and just let it go. Tell him everything you’re telling the internet. If he doesn’t love you enough to not wanna put these scars on your heart and keeps bringing it up after you’ve had the talk then you may need to leave. I’ve handled this situation both ways and either way had it’s problems. I hope he’s mature enough to love you and truly accept that you can’t do it.
Hell no!!! It’s going to ruin your marriage
choose it to be with another man…bet the whole conversation changes hahahaha
Ask him if he wants it with another man instead of another woman.
Don’t do it and he needs to grow up.
Everyone is entitled to their fantasies but no one in a committed relationship is entitled to act them out unless both parties are 100% on board. My cousin was in your situation and she was eventually worn down enough to agree…it broke up their marriage. Just saying.
Sometimes fantasies need to stay fantasies.
Divorce him and say no
If you aren’t comfortable with this then just tell him no.
So did you ask him if you could choose the other man in the threesome?
If he were my husband i would give him a divorce. Once this is in their minds u live with it forever. This is why i am single. If me want to be trash have at it. But no bastard will trash me i left 3 relationships cuz i refuse this bullshit and that is all it is. If u do it u are a fool. It will not stop if u dont do it he will cheat. Clearly he is doing that anyway. If this is the love of your life i ferl sorry for u. Perfect example men lie cheat backstab and orgie it what they do. I would rather be single forever than to deal with this bullshit what he needs is for u to leave. Iet him be single. If it were me i would punch him in the mouth for asking. And I would be gone. Why dont men do this before they get married. Nothing good will come from this and if u accept it u are the fool he want u to be. Love your self more than that have some morals
Enjoy being married this is what it is. Your life gets to become hell cuz he is a orgie hound. I would rather die than to be married and this is why u dont know it but your marriage is over the second he ask you to do such a thing and proves he does not does not love u
Here’s advice! DIVORCE!!! You married a pig & a selfish p.o.s , HE WILL cheat on you guaranteed! If he is thinking of having sex with more than just you, that is a clear indication! Open your eyes & RUN!
EWE WHAT A NASTY MFKER! EDIT: He’s only 22 , no fking wonder!! his hormones are going insane HELLOOOO to young to get married these days!
Bringing another person into it will not work.
Manipulating dickhead. Kick his sorry ass out and find a guy who would freak out at the very idea of anyone touching you in a sexual manner apart from him
Yeah, he’s young. That’s the problem!!!
U condone it once it will be expected all the time
Woman Please!!! Your Ass not healed . Tell him to kick Rocks
If it’s not your thing don’t do it. Unfortunately it is his tho. This is a very hard situation, your kinda dammed if you do; dammed if you don’t. Maybe try some porn and get as freaky as you can…
Hell no that’s a disaster waiting to happen my dad had a threesome with my mom and another check and he ended up leaving my mom being with the other chick no matter if he’s cheating behind your back or having a threesome he still cheated on you once you’re married you’re married no others involved
I’m a fan of old school relationships between two people and two people only. Personally, If my husband brought it up, whatever he’s a man and they’re dumb. If I said no, he better drop it and move on. Otherwise, go be with all the other chicks you want to, just not this one
Yes I think it could have a long term negative impact on you, if you choose to do this. It will change your relationship. How it impacts each of you isn’t predictable. I have not noticed anything you said that makes me think you want this. Marital counseling - relationship counseling might be helpful at this time. A therapist can help you sort through your feelings and your worries about this…and support you in discussing it with your husband. Even if you go to a therapist by yourself, I think it will provide some support around this issue. It is exhausting to care for a newborn, and this is likely a very vulnerable time in your life. Your feelings are valid. Don’t let yourself be pushed into something that feels uncomfortable. If you don’t have insurance to cover the cost of a counselor, maybe there is a Pastor who has some counseling skills, or a college where students are trained to be therapists, and must do some practice hours without pay. In some places calling 211 will get you an Information and Referral Specialist who can help you find such a resource.
No no no when you marry you married him in a marriage there’s 2 people not 3 and why on earth would he want to be intimate with someone else and share you ?? … if he wanted to be like that he shouldn’t have got married or got you pregnant…your 22 for gods sake …personally I’d tell him to fuck off good luck
Hasn’t gotten the young life and experience out how life. This is nothing new. Hasn’t soaked his oats yet, he interested won’t be surprised he wants to try WITHOUT u.
It is not worth sacrificing your self esteem for his “pleasure”! It would be different if you both wanted this but as you don’t I wouldn’t entertain it, if he does cheat then he will cheat…you can always walk away, and altho I would want the kids to have both mum and dad there they don’t need to be bought thinking it’s ok to undermine the effort you have put into this marriage, he made a conscious decision to marry you and should be spending his time making you and the kids happy, his happiness is important but brining up kids is a whole commitment that needs everything you have and more to bring children up to be balance adults! And anyhow how does he think it’s going to happen, most people I’ve hear have had 3somes have said how disappointing it is! And where will the kids be if you do go ahead with it!
He hasn’t thought this through at all!
Tell him you want a divorce. Then hand him the papers. Obviously he’s already cheating in his heart.
Tell him you’ll only do it if its him and another man, and if he and the other man do each other first
Homegirl your letting that crown fall. You better pick that up and know your worth you are beautiful, smart, loving, caring and you just had a new born don’t be to hard on yourself put it this way YOU ARE ENOUGH! and if he ain’t happy let me tell you there is nothing nothing you can do respect yourself first!
Ok so I wouldn’t run to divorce . That’s a smidge extreme ; also calling someone a selfish pig is extreme for just asking. However if you don’t want to then don’t . If you felt you could trust him prior to them then continue. Not every single dude is a cheater . I will tell you this though I have seen this situation go south . I was one of them people are answering you based on their emotions not the logic of #1 "kick him out " is easier said then done #2 you have a family #3 they’re assuming he doesn’t have self control and won’t cheat. Good luck but I would stay away from it .
Your husband is apparently not ready for a committed, monogamous relationship. I’d tell him to take a hike then call a good divorce attorney, but that’s just me. Ask yourself what YOU are willing to live with? The very idea us disgusting to me! You are opening yourself up to disease and irreparable harm to your marriage. Is this what you got married for?
Awwww girl that’s trouble if he is going to cheat on u make him find his own whore don’t help. I’m sorry
Trouble, my dear . Inviting anyone in your privacy of marriage is not good. Get counseling first . You are so young and have a long way to go. Trust yourself.
I hope someone told her to get a divorce, he wants to sleep w someone else.
Open marriages aren’t for everyone. Sounds like it’s really just something he’s curious about and wants to try. That’s all. A curiosity. Has nothing to do with him not loving you or that you aren’t enough. It doesn’t mean he’s going to cheat or anything either. If you are feeling like that, then have that conversation blunty, so he knows where your head is at and how you’re feeling. Sounds like no matter what your decision, he will respect it.