My husband told me son boys cannot paint their nails: Advice?

My son (he’s 5) used to like painting his nails with me and his sister. I never offered it, he just wanted it himself. His dad has convinced him boys can’t wear nail polish and tbh it breaks my heart that he won’t let him just be him……His dad is very closed minded and I’m the complete opposite. I want my son to know he can be and wear whatever he wants, but he gets soo mad at me. “But daddy said!!!”

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I agree with the dad boys don’t need to paint their nails

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Nail polish isn’t gender specific. Neither are clothes or colors or toys etc! If it makes the little dude feel happy and cool then who cares??? Dad can come to 2023 anytime now!

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My son has liked to paint his since he was a toddler cause he wanted to be like me. He used to be ok with just clear to have shiny nails then requested colors. I have always allowed it and at 11yr old he still asks for holidays or whenever. This was for St Patrick’s Day :shamrock: It is not harming anyone so why not. He doesn’t care what people think because he thinks it looks cool and that’s all that matters.

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Nail polish has no gender. Dad is wrong and this will create lasting effects. So sad!

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My youngest son has a twin sister, he never understood why she could have her nails painted but he “shouldn’t”. I met my husband half way. Now he never told me I couldn’t, he’d just be like really, but I’d paint his toes. It made him happy, his nails were painted too and he got to pick the colors, and it wasn’t this fingers so my husband just said whatever. They’re little, who cares. My sons now 8 & I’ll joke and ask if he wants me to do his. I get the raised eye brows from him and a nnnooooo! :rofl:

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Let that baby express himself how he wants to and tell dad to take a hike :tipping_hand_woman:t2:

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Boys do not wear nail polish

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My son is 8 and I paint his toe nails upon his request, his dad used to care but not anymore. He just simply likes the color, it’s usually blue or orange and I am the proudest cuz he doesn’t care what anyone thinks. He has little school girl crushes/girlfriends and builds lego like a badass and can drive a tractor better then most full grown men. Your husband’s insecurities are his own and not his sons, our baggage is not to be handed down to our children. Stand up for him, it literally has nothing to do with his sexualitiy, he just likes the colour.

Every parent is different. I can see both sides. A boy shouldn’t be wearing nailpolish.
Look forward 10 years-15 years you want him to groom himself a certain way. Does this include nailpolish?
I do not think so.
Instead you can have him learn to cut his nails or file the sharp edges off. This is a better alternative.

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My son loved going with mum to get his nails done when she went and then all of a sudden he said he got laughed at and bullied for it . Now he doesn’t want to do it anymore becuase” it’s for girls “ I was against it not becuase I’m afraid of what he might like but of how society is programmed it broke my heart that he got laughed at and bullied for his nails painted and that’s what I was afraid of.

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Boys can paint their nails… it’s literally just nails. My son loves to paint his. It’s actually healthy for men to get manicures because it’s good for their nail health. Also, what about all the rock stars or artists who paint their nails? David Bowie, Steven Tyler, Kurt Cobain, Keith Richards, Johnny Depp, Seal, Jared Leto, A$AP Rocky, Shawn Mendes, Joe Jonas, even BRAD PITT has painted his nails! Just like men can wear jewelry and have their ears pierced! It’s not a bad thing!

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Its 2023 its nail polish it came comes off dad is in the wrong im a boy mom of four if they wanted to id let them :woman_shrugging:

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My son 14 and paint his nails. There nothing wrong with it.

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Stupid conversation. I have a grandson that had his mom paint his nails when she did hers. He just thought of it as coloring. No different than anything else they do at daycare every day for art. As a society, we are getting crazy. What if we “make” him gay, etc? Can we please let a kid be a kid ? They will make their decisions later in life. Sorry. I never post. Just makes me sad.

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I see where he’s coming from. Y’all need to sit down and have a conversation. Its hard when one parent is more conservative and one is more go with the flow. It can also stem from a person’s morals and values and what they believe. I believe a certain way and it’s because I am Christian and I have friends who parent differently, etc. As parents y’all need to come towards some agreement even if its as simple/small as painting nails

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Let it go if he gets mad when you bring it up to him. Boys have a tendency to listen to what their dads approve or disapprove of and since your husband has convinced him that boys can’t wear nail polish then he’s going to listen to his dad about it sadly. You gotta let it go at this point

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Oh I had to hear about this one in court and the judge told dad to shut up. The child can do as they please in that regard. He has equal amounts of brothers and sister so only being around women is not the issue. My kid just likes what he likes.

Do a spa day you and the kids can go get nails done that way he can get his nails done like mom and sis but doesn’t have to get them colored can get clear coat . Men do it to get their nails cleaned and stuff so it can still be manly enough for dad but bonding fun together for you guys. Or you can do the nail cleaning and stuff with clear coat at home.

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My son current has purple toe nails :joy:
Dad - not a fan but this is like the 3rd time and hes not fussed as much. Tells him they pretty :laughing:
It’s just nail polish it comes off what’s the big deal
Ask if HE wants to not what dad wants and if he says yes then let him if he doesn’t want to then dont

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If his father tells him sugary drinks and candy are no good for him , I’m sure he’d still want some junk food every now and then. If he’s saying he doesn’t want to do it anymore , then leave him alone bc now you’re forcing him and that’s kinda strange. If he wants to do it , he will ask. Leave it alone

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I told my husband to stop making such a big deal and promoting it as bad. Let him try it, he will get board like usual and probably forget. If not….we go colour shopping. My son got red last night and my husband told him “it was nice”. Today it’s basically off and he was super happy to match his sisters.

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This is my almost 3 year olds hand. Clearly, boys CAN have their nails painted. My husband doesn’t care.

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Mine is 5 he will see me paint my nails and he is just as happy with clear he prefers it’s other kids can be mean

My bd tried that with my teenager. I asked him, if he was gay would you love him any differently. Let him do whatever makes him happy in this crazy world

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Boys can definitely paint their nails. Doesn’t mean anything. Just ask Dwayne “the rock” Johnson. His daughters paint his nails lots.

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My ex was like that too. I would still let my son paint his nails and I took the verbal lashings.

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My son likes his toes paints and my husband has always been supportive of it. He just sees his mom and sister doing something and wants to be a part of it. Totally normal and healthy. Who said painted nails are just for girls? Tell your husband it’s not 1955 anymore lol.

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Show him images of men with painted nails. And tell your husband to grow up.

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Nothing wrong about a boy wanting to paint his nails , but , both parents should be on the same boat about parenting , you both have to meet half way .
Talk to your husband about letting him paint his nails just at your house and not outside . Maybe just clear polish .

 If your son does not want to do it anymore because “ daddy said “ just do not push him or insist . So not create a unnecessary issue about it

I can’t even process. I’m 62 & raised 3 sons & have5 grandsons. Shame on both parents for even thinking it’s a big deal. :face_with_diagonal_mouth:

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So outdated, some of the the things my younger son wear people would cringe at.

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Okay? So should boys not be able to play with dolls? Or get an ear piercing? Tf. Let them express themselves… it’s nail polish. It comes off. If he can’t be comfortable in his sexuality it sounds like there is something wrong with dad’s character.

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Get him the peel off kind. He can take it off fast before you go anywhere or when dad comes home.

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Yikes… can only imagine his other opinions if he’s against his 5 year old using nail polish… My son (3) paints his nails with me on occasion :woman_shrugging:

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I would paint my son’s toe nails when he was younger and wanted it

Boys can paint their nails … but some won’t like it .

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You need to have a chat with dad not son

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Sometimes bring on the same page is difficult,

Tell you’re husband Jeff Hardy a man does his nails

just here for the “it’ll make him gay”
comments.

you cannot MAKE someone gay, either you are or you’re not. Even if they are gay & you shun them because they are-YOU FAILED AS A PARENT for shunning a child who is supposed to be able to come to you with anything.

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This why these conversations must happen before making a lifetime commitment to others.
Now you get to raise your son with a homophobe, if anything, instilling negative ideas about gender into his head.
Sad.

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Maybe have dad rephrase. Like hey this is normally something girls do and if you go in public with it, people may not be nice. Encourage less girly colors maybe to meet somewhere in the middle?

My mom never let me paint my nails until 12 (7th grade which was start of jr high) because she said it was a grown up thing to do. I was only allowed clear. Once I was allowed I could only do light/medium pink. Same with makeup. Not even play stuff. 7th grade I was allowed lipstick but only natural pink tones.

I see where both you guys are coming from and it is u fair for either of you to completely dismiss what the other parent thinks. This in the grand scheme of things is very minor and I wouldn’t make this something I push for to get my way 100% on. I’d definitley be pushing for a compromise on both parts for something that really won’t end up mattering :black_heart::black_heart:

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Tell him to stick it and let your son get his nails painted. Nothing wrong with it

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I see nothing wrong with it when a child wants to do it with mom and sibling, however, I noticed you said USED to and then you said he gets mad at you and says “but daddy said,” so are you now trying to force the issue with him when he no longer wants to? If he no longer wants to, why would you try to force it?

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I have to agree with your husband on this one. You are in the wrong. Men do not paint their nails. It’s inappropriate and unprofessional in the professional career setting . This is setting your son up

If you want your son to be a similar version of his dad then let dad lead.

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Well,my oldest is 21,6’3,225lb Marine.He lets his sister who is 16,paint his nails.He even lets her do pink.Why?Because he said real men wear pink.

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Let the boys join. He just wants to be included with you and his sister.

Effeminate males will
Make our population vulnerable . Chinese already saying something needs to be down about Americans and their guns all this lgbtq shit is pysop destabilization . Raise your boys to be men we do not have a feminine side you think the military gonna save you when the us is invaded hahahahahahahahaha it’s gonna be civilian men REAL MEN without rainbow hair and painted nails .

Prayers for your family. Amene

Respecting your partner will pay out in the long run. I don’t agree with every single thing my husband comes up with, but I rally for him and he rallies for me when I declare at 6am that we all HAVE to leave to make it to the zoo for great parking (he would rather sleep in)
Being a team is way more important than nail polish. 18 years is a long time to carry that torch, it gets heavy. The head nodders in this group won’t hold your hand when your child is having an unplanned surgery, but your husband will.

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I’d be more upset that your husband’s fine with you painting your daughters nails as well. Aren’t we past the time that we teach little children beauty regiments to attract others? As women we should be pushing back sexualizing our children and most won’t want to admit it but painting nails, wearing makeup is for adults. Is it really harmless or just playing? Clearly not since men have such a strong opinion boys shouldn’t be doing it but girls can. Ever notice it’s always straight men saying things like that?

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Leave it alone. It sounds like you want to force it! why do you want your son to paint his nails so bad? Why are you not getting him excited about boy stuff?

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I totally understand where you are coming from. But just because your son wants to paint his nails doesn’t mean he wants to he a girl or that. My son used to love painting his nails, it was phase and he grew out of it. Kids need to be kids. Kids just like adults needs to express then selves, grown straight men do get nail care done a salons, including their eyebrows etc. It can be a fun bonding time for you and your son, and take the nail polish off when he’s going back to school. When we were expecting our first child. My husband said, if its a girl and she wants a tractor bed or a racing car bed she can have it, I then said if we have a son, and he wants a princess bed or a unicorn bed he can have it as well, he was like no. I told him you can’t say one sex can get what ever they want and the other sex needs to be manly. Kids are only young once, these are the memories they will build and say, remember how mum and I used to paint our nails when I was younger. Get your husband to do something that him and your son can do together and you and your son Do something that will be fun. I’m currently sitting with loads of paper, lying about making foot prints, and paper chain necklesses with my 7 year old. He loves doing things like this, he’d rather do things like this than play with his cars. Xx

What utter rubbish. I used to do nail painting at school discos etc and it’s really sad that the younger kids all get their nails done with boys often choosing black or blue then as they get older the number of boys getting their nails done steadily drops due to people saying stuff like that. I think it’s also quite in fashion for teens of any gender to have painted fingernails at the moment anyway. What does your husband think it will do to his son? :joy:

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Sounds like Dad has a good head on his shoulders. Why can’t you leave it alone and be glad he is giving his son good guidance.

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I think it’s ok when they are tiny. They want to be just like mommy or daddy. But the world has gone mad. As they grow they need to come to terms with the fact that boys are boys and girls are girls and they should look like just that. If you have girls, be a girl mom. If you have a boy, be a boy mom. Everyone is entitled to an opinion and that is mine.

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Turn this into a opportunity to start teaching him what opinions are. Explain that just cuz dad’s opinion is that boys can’t wear nail polish doesn’t make it so. Teach him that he can have his own opinion on the subject. And any other subject!

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I disagree with dad. There’s nothing wrong with boys painting their nails, playing with baby dolls or kitchen sets or toy cleaning sets. My ex used to tell the boys not to play with brooms, kitchens and baby dolls because those are “girl toys”. I shut that sh*t down right there. I feel like men are taught that to be masculine they have to be macho and tough all the time. They need to be taught now at a young age that that’s just not true. It’s dumb and really kinda toxic.

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The amount of close minded people on this thread it truly appalling. Men have been forced into a tiny box throughout society. This is why toxic masculinity will continue as a cycle. Why are people so pissed about a child wanting to paint their nails? Everyone has fingernails. What is soooo wrong with wanting to express their feeling through a color on a fingernail. People do realize gender is totally influenced by society? It’s not like a rule that boys can’t like colors? Then y’all will wonder why men grow up to be closed off, shutdown, and disconnected. Or people wonder why men aren’t sensitive or nurturing to their kids. Or why some men have issues cleaning up after themselves, cooking, cleaning, etc. it’s because this type of toxic behavior has created it. People spend their time telling them what they can and can’t like because of made up society norms. WTF do you care what someone else does with their body or time?

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My youngest son (3) loves having his nails painted. My oldest son (7) used to when he was younger, he grew out of it when we started learning about opinions. I agree with the other comments saying this is the perfect time to teach him about those.

I agree with dad, but just because of the bullying, kids are so mean in our day and age! And the other boys are going to target him so hard because he has his nails painted, ive been bullied all my life and its not easy

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If the little boy’s getting mad at you I would just let it go for now, If he comes to you and ask you to paint them and so forth then yes I would get involved.Otherwise I would let it go it’ll come back to bite Dad in the a$$ Eventually. Kids always gravitate to those they feel safe and loved unconditionally.

I paint my nephews and just take it off before we leave. Or do clear. He’s not my kid though so I respect what his parents ask :woman_shrugging:t2: I personally wouldn’t let my little boy though.

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My opinion is it’s not him just being him it’s him wanting to spend time playing with his sister and his mom. So maybe you could also play something else

I agree with dad. If your son goes to school with all the bullying going on get ready for it he’s one that’s going to get bullied because nail polish is for girls. That the problem these days kids don’t know if they want to be boy or girl because parents aren’t teaching them right. Sorry not sorry I agree with dad.

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Who decided that nail polish was for women only or make up? Let that baby be. He’s 5!

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My boys are 7 and 5 and I taught him stuff like that has no gender they both love to do make up and their nails my 5 year old had a purple glitter frozen out he loved and he will wear dresses some time I actually have a photo of him in a dress his face is pure happiness

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I wouldn’t push it onto him but rather stress that there isn’t a boy/girl outline you want him to fit and that you love him no matter what he does or doesn’t like. If the fathers opinions become harmful to what your child thinks and feels then you have a problem.

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When you girls are painting your nails. Go send boy away with dad to go do some off roading or play nerd guns or wrestle? I have two girls the girly stuff is always going down. I just had a son and have no idea what boys like to do. But, if my son tells me he wants to paint his nails too, well pick a color. They’ll decide for themselves eventually.

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One of my grandsons loves to have his nails painted. His mom and dad are both ok with it. They just suggested that maybe he stay away from shades of pink and purples and go more with reds, blues and greens. Colors that are considered “less feminine” and he’s ok with that. The other grandma thinks it’s horrible, but that’s her choice.

When my son was younger, he’d want me to paint his nails when I did mine and my daughters. We did for a few years until he got old enough that my husband disagreed with it. It was the same reason, boys don’t paint their nails. I believe everyone should be themselves. We compromised and he still painted his toes for a few years until he just didn’t want to anymore. To me, it’s all about picking your battles. I still teach my children that people are who they are, accept them for that. My husband has grown and learned as well.
Boys usually listen to their dads more, so don’t force the issue. If he wants them done, he’ll come to you.

This is why it’s important to talk to your partners about how you want to raise kids and what you would be ok with and not. It may sound drastic but if they don’t agree with you on things you wouldn’t be able to let go of, then end the relationship before a child gets involved.

Don’t make it a big deal, when you make it a big deal that’s when it becomes a deal. His fingers painted is not going to change his sexuality. Maybe just paint the pinky fingers.

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My son (6) asks me to paint his nails all the time and of course I do it for him because it makes him so happy! He sees his little sister getting her nails painted and would be heartbroken if I told him he wasn’t allowed because he’s a boy. When someone criticises him on it he tells them “nail polish is for everyone. It’s just colours.” And I’m incredibly proud of him for not abiding to social norms, educating others, standing up for himself and being exactly who he wants to be because at the end of the day you can’t please everyone but you can let your kids be happy.

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I painted both mine when they were little…guess what ones 20 n ones 16 n they definitely do all that manly shit still. Tell him save his energy for the big stuff coming in life

While I’m not against this and see both sides, dad has just as much say. How would you feel if dad wanted the child to do something that you didn’t agree with and said absolutely not, but he went ahead and did it anyways? Maybe try to compromise like painting his toenails. Kids these days are bullies (and apparently parents on the internet too), and that alone is reason enough for me. Not all kids will stand up for themselves even when you tell them it’s ok to, so that statement is out of the window.

Oh please! I see (straight) men in the nail salon all the time getting Mani/pedis. Who cares if a little boy wants to pain his nails! Let the boy be himself! I let my 4 year old play with dolls, Barbies and etc.

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Not sure if this is an isolated thing or if y’all clash on lots of child-rearing and other issues. So you don’t work against each other I’d recommend working with a therapist/counselor to learn good ways of reaching consensus. It’s confusing for kids when they have to deal with “he said/she said.”

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Bunch of idiotic people on here. Raise a boy to be a man who loves and defends and provides for his family. He isn’t a dainty female. He is male. Geez what has this world come to.

Sometimes children think it’s interesting and fun to do what brothers and sisters are doing with parents. They think siblings are doing something more fun and exciting. I was an only child . I loved to play with boys, remote control cars , play army etc . I loved makeup. Played dolls but thought what boys were doing was more exciting . I have been married 40 years 3 children 3 grand children. Children will try things on their own don’t push it . If Dad said no if your son really wanted to paint his nails he would find a way to do it . If not it was so he could do an activity with parent

My God. These comments make me worried for the boys my girls will meet when they are older. If you think nail polish is going to make your boys less of a man when they are grown…then you are the problem. Boys, men have been pushed into a tiny box of what’s ok and manly enough. Humans…thats what we are. And nail polish is not going to change that.

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Introduce your husband to K-pop or any 80s band, they paint their nails.

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My little guy did nail polish, fancy hair do’s, ballet dresses etcetera. He had sisters. They played dress up. He’s now a giant who’s into hunting, fishing, and football. Kid wants to be included. Nail polish wont hurt him.

The only thing kids know is that they’re being left out. Include them, who cares what dads think.

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Sorry I’m on dad’s side :woman_shrugging: no advice here !

Conversations that should occur before you decide to get married and have babies :smirk:

We don’t have to say yes to everything our children want.

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Rockstars wear nail polish , it’s paint, who cares

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Paint your husbands nails in his sleep, when he wakes up and realises his p3nis hasn’t fallen off maybe he’ll realise it’s no big deal. If you do it his favourite colour he might even like it :smirk:

News flash all the teen age boys are painting there nails it’s a trend

It’s just nail polish. It comes off easily. It’s no big deal.

I guess up to you
I’m not for it

He is right. Let him raise the boy to be a man.

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I respect different parenting when it doesn’t snuff out a child’s creativity.
Most men think nail polish is “for girls” because they’re sexist and homophobic.

If the child wants his nails painted, let him. He won’t turn gay from paint.

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Her husband sounds like an immature man child who’s insecure in himself :woman_shrugging:t3:

Ideally, you’d have a serious talk with Dad, he’d recognize he is wrong, and he’d tell your son it’s okay to paint his nails if he wants to. But if Dad refuses to change his mind, tell your son that Dad was raised differently but that old belief is wrong. Let him know Dad’s make mistakes sometimes just like everyone else. Reassure him that he CAN paint his nails if he wants to and that you will support him.

You didn’t specify if Dad lives with you or has his own household. If Dad doesn’t live with you, you also need to tell your son that Dad makes the rules in his home so no nail polish at Dad’s house but he can paint them all he wants when he’s home with you. I would also take him to buy nail polish and show him how to do it if he doesn’t already know. Support your son and don’t allow his father’s ridiculousness to squash his spirit.

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When I was about four years old I was messing around with nail polish and my dad asked me to paint a couple of his toenails but not his fingernails because he didn’t feel comfortable having them seen at work. I didn’t understand why because I was so little and he was very careful how he explained it to me because he didn’t want to me to get the idea that it was bad. My dad did plenty of things I wish he never had but this was not one of them. In this instance he nailed it. Your man is being a self-involved, backward-minded idiot and he needs to get his head out of his ass.

Weird af I swear it’s scary to see the tyoe of people this world is full of :joy: