When is the best age to give your kids more freedom? My child is 4 and a half and my husband believes it’s okay for my daughter to stay in the appartment for 5 mins while he goes down stairs to do laundry (an example). My 4 and a half year old is pretty responsible and normally she just plays with her toys while he is down stairs. He tells me I over react when he does this. I only consider the “what ifs” If she is up here alone. Oh and she also struggles to open the front door so if there was a fire or an emergency she will have a tough time getting out. I told him that kids at 4 years old should still be watched because of creeps and emergencies. And I’m pregnant and so he is blaming my “hormones” which makes me mad… Seems only an excuse for him to not understand where I am coming from. Please tell me I’m not over reacting because this world today, all children should be watched.
Ummmm, i go to the basement and leave my 2yr old and 4yr old upstairs playing to change out laundry, clean cat liter, sort laundry. I can hear footsteps and squeals. If it gets too quiet I run back up…but yeah I need to be productive too
I would take the child with me at that age
I mean it’s a parent’s preference honestly…
I don’t see any reason to bring all 3 of my kids down stairs outside just to throw the garbage in the dumpster. 
When I lived in an apartment building, I would go down the hall to toss the trash but that’s it. My kid was the same age. Shouldn’t leave the apartment/floor for longer than what it takes to use the bathroom. My opinion
Does he explain to your child what he is doing and what he expects her to be doing while he’s out for a few minutes?.. Can she comprehend at 4 years old Every word he’s saying and asking of her… Is it really only 5 minutes?.. I don’t live in an apartment complex but I have been to a few and I know that it takes 5 minutes by itself going up and down the stairs depending on what floor you’re on lol. So realistically the child has been left alone longer than that… He needs to consider what really can happen in just a matter of seconds when it comes to children that age.
I don’t think you’re being dramatic or overreacting to anything. It’s terrifying what can really happen in 5 minutes
I live in NYC. Kids fall out of windows of apartment buildings to their death regularly. That’s my first thought. 2nd thought is the stove or knives or locking the door. The answer is no.
Every child is different but I wouldn’t have had a problem when my kids were that age.
Your husband is so wrong . So many things can happen in five minutes. Please also
Tell him he will be arrested if police find out and social services will
Be involved .
Too young to be left alone even for a few minutes. Alot can and has happened in 5 minutes that’ll change your life forever. Trust your gut it never leads you wrong n saying it’s hormones is a bunch of crap just saying
I think at the age of 4 u should just be starting to let them in the next room unsupervised for a few minutes at a time. What if the child puts something in their mouth and chokes? 4 minutes without oxygen to the brain is brain damage and only a few minutes after that can result in death. That’s the first thing that came to my mind…I have severe anxiety so i think of worst case scenario always.
My kids are pretty mature My 4 year old needs help but 5 minutes on a floor herself wouldn’t be the end… nine would just play , go pody or maybe even get herself milk or a snack . Mine is 4 and very smart , ahead of her age…
I would not leave my four year old alone, regardless of anything.
No you’re not over reacting or hormonal. 4 years old is too young to be left by themselves and floors apart.
I’m assuming he has to leave your apartment to do laundry. It’s not your basement. Is he locking the door? Are all poisons (cleaning supplies, meds including eye drops etc) out of reach, locked up? Can he hear your smoke alarms from the laundry room?
You can install cameras in the area they play in & at all exterior doors. Set motion on cameras for doors & he can watch/listen. I’d be nervous though. I lived in an apartment building. I’d bring my children inside & go to unload groceries. My neighbors thought it was ok to walk in my apartment. Plus fires can start easily in apartment buildings. Cooking accidents mainly. Just too many things could happen.
That would be a hard no for me. It’s always better to be safe than sorry!
I’m on the fence about this. 4 is most likely too young to leave alone even for a few minutes. I completely understand the frustration of having to take a child downstairs to a laundry room/ or garbage disposal.
Had said child been 6, I think my answer would be different. 4 is just too young, too many what ifs, too many dangers.
I can see both sides of this tho
Realistically having had 4 year olds… my kids probably would have been in more danger going down stairs with me while I had a basket of clothes in my arms than sitting and playing for 5 minutes alone.
So for me if it had been a choice I might have chosen the same way as your husband but depending on the setup (define ‘down stairs’ what’s the apartment set up? Do you know your neighbors? How well? Whats your general area like? Is it literally 5 minutes?) I might have felt like you.
Could you compromise? Maybe install a video baby monitor so he can watch and listen to her?
I think every kid is different, but when my son was 4 I was able to leave him alone for a few minutes. I could go to the car to grab something or down to get the mail. I’d just make sure the door was locked. He’d know I would be right back.
Way to young to be left alone.
For a few minutes minutes I’m solid with that as long as The house is locked up and they can’t escape. But I also know my child and how she plays I know every creek in our small house and when I am doing laundry I yell up every minute or so to check on her. Usually she just steals my tablet and puts on doc mcstuffins and won’t move.
My kids could play by them self at 4 so taking out trash starting laundry etc wasn’t a big deal. If he is in and out quick what’s the difference in being a couple rooms over?
They should be watched!!! Especially now days
Too young, period
disaster can take only seconds
I mean i put my kids inside the house while I unload groceries from the car to a second floor apart
My kids have been playing outside with there siblingfor an hr… in-room by self for hours.
My daughter is 13 and I just now let her go outside by herself and we live on a dead end surrounded by family and she takes her mean ole pitty with her. Good luck touching her with that dog around. It still makes me nervous tho
NO. That is child endangerment and/ or neglect. If he doesnt believe you tell him Im and ER nurse and ran the Pediatric Trauma program at the University of Michigan. That kid gets hurt and hes getting turned in to Child Protective Services.
4 is too young and him blaming your hormones for being rightfully upset is a huge red flag
Show him your state laws. That should clarify things up.
You are absolutely not overreacting or hormonal!! A 4 year old should never be left alone for 5 minutes while the parent is floors apart and distracted, no way imo
Leave her alone to run to the bathroom, shower yes. OUTSIDE or the apartment, no. At that age they are curious and truly anything can happen. Safer to take her with or one parent stays behind.
Nope to young In my opinion. Every child is different. My two girls were lethal together at that age but separate each would read or play dolls. Our two grandsons would have been fine at 4 for me to change over wash, but I wouldn’t have taken the chance. Both our granddaughters would have destroyed the kitchen in minutes left alone at that age.
if there a good kid and u can trust just going down stairs to laundry is fine ive done that i live in an apt and i have done that my laundry room is in a basement i have told my kids stay out of kitchen whatever. if dont feel good about it get a hand held baby monitor to keep a listen on them. now what i wont go for is leaving home alone to go down the street or something. i have also left mine alone for 5 mintues to get mail which is by the road and i have to go 3 flights steps to get my mail and 4 flights to basement. or i can go out my bedroom door to go get mail just one flight steps there.we have 7 apt in our building i trust all my neighbors so far i leave my door unlocked if emergency till go to bed the outside door of my building is locked so no one can get in unless have a key. or with someone oh i can hear my kids from the basement its below me and i run up skipping steps if up to now good floors and wall are paper thin.
When my kid was 4 I would leave her inside to walk down the driveway and get the mail. I left her inside playing when I’ve rearranged and got stuff out of our garage fridge for like 5 minutes. I equate that to being about the same… so I don’t think it’s a big deal assuming the door is locked, there isn’t knife drawer at kid height, or open turpentine laying next to a loaded pistol on the couch. You said she sits and plays on her own and isn’t throwing bowling balls through the patio door.
Ugh I would go insane. I was the same type of mom always wondered what could happen. Explain to him this could be a teaching moment for him to bring his daughter to help with the laundry
I wouldn’t because it takes a second for something terrible to happen but to each their own… BTW I seen those Terrible things happens
We live in an apartment and our youngest is 3 and a half almost 4 we live on the first floor and the dumpster outside is like 12 ish car lengths away from out apartment we take out the garbage while our youngest is inside alone we also will go outside to have a smoke but we have video baby monitors in her room so we put that on when we go outside for more then just groceries or garbage but we also have no problem letting her have free roam of the apartment other then the bathroom which has a child lock on the door knob she will play in her room for ours without us going in to check on her as she is old enough in our opinion to play on her own and she has been doing that since she was about 2 honestly but we won’t let her free roam when we go do laundry she has to be in her room so we can put the baby monitor on and we put the child door lock or baby gate on when we put her in her room to go do laundry as she could get into silverware or kitchen sink cleaning supplies fridge stuff like that cause at that age they still want to test ya
Children should never be left alone until they are at least 11