My husband thinks I’m a burden because I don’t help financially. When I ask to get a job, he doesn’t want to put them in daycare. He yells at me about all his problems, as if I created them. I feel like a fool. We have six kids. Six. I’m about to be a single mom of six. I’m broken. I tried so hard to be enough for him. How do I manage six kids in this economy? I’m scared.
Check to see if your kids schools have a before and after school program my sons elementary school has a before and after school program ran by Coalition for kids (C4K) I can get him to school at 7am before school and get him at 5pm which allows me to work and they feed him dinner after school and help him with his homework it’s a life saver!
Been there my friend. Praying for you. It’ll get better. I promise you this. Pray about it and turn to God.
Go out get an evening job even if it’s part time. Let him deal with 6 kids. I’m sure he’ll appreciate you so much more.
Find a part time job that has hours you can work while your husband is home. It will do you a world of good.
Work a full time job and a part time job, as many of us have had to do as well. You can make it. You can also get help with buying groceries, from the state you live in.
So sorry but if he wants to go let him go you deserve to be treated better you don’t need to be treated like this. And when he finds out he has to pay child support on six kids ask him how happy he is without you. But you can do it u be better off alone and free of the abuse than to stay with him.
Prayers for you get a job let him take care of the children !
When you ASK to get a job? it’s a partnership you shouldn’t have to ask to do stuff you talk about it together!
Prayers for your husband. Amene
File for child support and get a job
It is one of those things that you just do because you have no choice.
He comments or control over you seems to have nothing to do with you, and everything to do with his own issues.
Hang in their mama.
Just know you can do it , you and the kids deserve the best…your babies will look to you so be strong, reach out to those who genuinely care for and love you, you don’t need a nasty mean man. Stay positive beautiful! Nothing wrong will a bad day but pick yourself up and keep moving forward, put a plan in place, control what you can and what you can’t control let go.xx
He wants to control you and he’s tearing you down so you don’t feel like you can find better. There’s better out there and he will do everything he can to make sure you don’t find it.
He wants it like this we’ll take the kids for a few days and let him see how much he misses u guys.
Bridging the Gap Community Group Raising a Grown Man
Do any of the kids go to school? What days is he off work? Get a part time job starting off on his days off and let him deal with the kids for those days. Then see what he says having to deal with kids on his days off. He might appreciate you a whole lot more.
Wasn’t sure what to say
Just positive vibes, and prayers for u
There’s a lot of work from home jobs available on indeed. Spend a lot of time on a great resume and apply for all of them that you’re qualified for. There are some where you need zero experience.
Child support and spousal support.
Sue him for child support and alimony!
You file for child support and alimony.
Give it to God sister, through Jesus.
I’ll pray for you and with you if you like.
Please message me if you want to!
Child support, spousal support, and government aide
Go ahead and apply for section 8 explain the situation there is usually a wait list! They will help you get on your feet and point you to all the other financial aide programs that could help you like free or supplemented daycare cost
I raised 5 sons alone and without child support. It certainly wasn’t easy but I did and you can too - it takes a strong woman to have 6 children. You are strong and enough - he’s just too foolish to recognize that.
Sounds to me that if you are not working, then you are trapped in a relationship where you are going to become more and more his punching bag.
Whether it be emotional or verbal or otherwise.
Doesn’t matter what he says get yourself that job opposite shift to him so when you’re at work he can be at home with the kids etc. Keep your independence, if you don’t you will be trapped if things get bad.
If things stay good, then he will appreciate any and all time that he gets to spend with you.
Let him know exactly how expensive child support will be. Plus alimony. Then offer to get an evening, part time job. He can parent the kids… it looks SOOOOO easy right?
Whoever laughed at her post I hope you never have to feel what she feels like. Put yourself in someone else’s shoes & Be kind!!
Girl u better stand up on them two feet God gave you and get a job. Anything to start off. And secondly don’t ever let a man tell you not to work💯 Always get your own even if it’s a cashier job at walmart you gon make it work. Its not hard sweetheart it wont be what you used to but it’s people with more kids than you thats a single parent. You can manage! Try Walmart if you don’t have a career or any certifications next find what you like to do try to go to school for a trade. Jus don’t ever let another man tell u not to work that’s a control machism! That way he controls the money and in the end you left in shambles. Hope everything works out!
When he’s at work and you have a 5 minutes spare (God willing with 6 kids) call a domestic abuse help line for advice… Domestic abuse isn’t just physical, and they’ll have resources to help you work through the emotional weight and confusion you’re feeling from his words… Good luck.
You both will have to rotate shifts in working for you to help financially and he would have to be home with the kids. Its a lot of work but its doable. You can find a job opposite of his shift and let him tend to the kids so he knows how hard it is to do it all alone. I highly recommend couple’s therapy.
What about working nights or weekends then he can watch the kids???
I would tell him he can’t have it both ways…also if you like his mom I would tell her😂
Get an afternoon job so you can bypass daycare. Let him deal with 6 kids while you’re gone to work and he might reconsider his anger.
First of all. Be enough for yourself. You can’t be enough for anyone until get right with you. If I’ve learned anything it’s never to try and be something for someone else, only you. And remember you are enough at your worst for the right person.
Well they will go to daycare and latchkey now. Make sure he is responsible for paying for them in the divorce. If not, go to childcare.gov and see about federal assistance to pay for the day care and latchkey. They paid anywhere from 30-90% of mine depending on where he was. I went to the Dept. Of human services in my area.
File for divorce and child support. See if you can work out a schedule so you can work, unless they’re all in school.
I’m not sure what you look like but strippers make great money
I raised 4 by myself with nothing but what i could fit in a car. If possible, love with a family member for a few months while you save money. That’s what i did. Also, before you get a job , apply for food stamps and medicaid. It helps tremendously. I got a job in 2019 at chickfila, while separated and depressed thinking i couldn’t do this. You don’t know how strong you are, until it’s the only option you have. Im still at chickfila making 17 an hour. You can do this, i was a stay at home mom for 13 years and he thought the same. I also borrowed money to get me on my feet, if that’s doable for you, id try. (Also credit cards) where there’s a will, there’s a way. You got this!!
Or…hear me out…He becomes a single dad of six! Who made the rule that the momma keeps the kids!!! If he can afford them and wants to leave tell him don’t forget to pack his kids up too.
He is using you as a scapegoat and tearing you down. Leave I would. Put him on child support and alimony if you can.
It can be done, and you’ll get child support from him…best to cut your losses with your 7th kid (the husband) and not teach your children that this is what marriage is
If some of the children are at school. You could child mind ? Or if possible put as many children as possible into one room and have foreign students?
I have slept in my living room for most of my adult life to rent out rooms to pay the bills. Try not to put the children in day care. I worked in day care. Most are like a prison for children. With a few toys.
I’m a single mom of just one who’s grown now…I worked 2 jobs for about 5 years I look back now and wonder how I managed my mom help me but she died when my girl was 13 . We have a university in this town and during football season I had a third job… don’t regret one hour, one back ache you do what you have to do when you have to do it… leave him God will send you a better man. Ask him
Im so sorry you have to deal with that. There is more to contributing to a family and household that money.
i would ask him then how does he expect you to help financially if you can’t put the kids into day care
He’ll be paying for childcare soon enough then, don’t worry. Chin up girl. You’ve got this.
You’ve got seven kids, by my reckoning.
You will find your way.
Everyone saying work opposite shifts so he can watch the kids while she works is not being helpful at all. He doesn’t sound like a man that watches his own children
Sounds like he wants you stuck not working but wants to bitch at you just to make everything seem your fault.
If he works days get a evening or night job if he works evenings then get a night or day job if he work nights get a evening or night job he probably doesn’t want you to get a job he don’t want to be by himself with all his kids
Bless you x This is quite ‘normal’ All about power… I went through it. If you want to chat/ seek free decent legal advice if he comes to take any of the children for eg /wants the house/ money from you please SHOUT! xxx
Everyone said to me I will be fine but I couldn’t believe it.
You will be and come out stronger and hopefully happier too xxx
It’s not easy but it’s better than letting some man make you feel small ever
First thing you do is
Kick him out
Change the locks
Then run down to the closest police station
And get an avo (aprohended violence orde)
God sees your hurt, he will provide,
He’s prob very stressed out and is lashing out prob doesn’t mean it. Not making excuses cuz if there is mental abuse that’s not ok. It’s a tough economy and one income is hard rt now.
Maybe if possible work a job that is on the off time so he can be with the kids. We had four at home and I worked a 5-10 pm selling shoes at Nordstrom and it worked well for us and he appreciated more what I did during the day.
I don’t know is that really worth breaking up over? Just get a job tell him he has to pay half of day care and you will pay the other half. Get some help, some therapy. Everyone is stressed financially, yeah he’s being douche for the way he’s treating you but it’s nothing that can’t be worked out. Communication!!!
Psychos who find this funny…
First of all, I’m sure you could survive on child support alone if you had the balls to walk out on him, second of all, he created those children, and he has no right to belittle you for caring for them. Leave.
If you file for divorce get child support, spousal support & get food stamps too. You could also get a job at night when he’s home.
Ask for alimony and child support. He’ll Def be reconsidering how bad his problems were. Then you move on and find a man who cares how you feel. The loss will be his. I’m sorry you are being treated that way.
Maybe he is stressed out and it just comes out on you? Communication. Always communication.
Ask…yeah right…chiiiii get a job and some side hustles and put him to work being home with the kids while you get your money up
Put his ass on child support. Ain’t no way with 6 kids I would be letting him off the hook. He still has to help with or without yall being together. There are lots of resources out there. Wish you all the best. Guy sounds like an ass
First, see an attorney, there may be free or low cost legal services in your area, see what your rights are. Second, are you involved in a church group somewhere, they may be able to help. Third, seek whatever government agency in your area and find out what would be available to you. Do not just jump into the ocean of single parenthood, wait until you have everything set up. You do not want to put yourself and your kiddos in a hopeless position, where your only option is living in your car with six kids. You may be able to get help or advice from a school counselor. Best of luck, sweetie, being a single mom is hard. I did it for 15 years. But you CAN do it!
That’s classic control and gaslight behavior. Run. Take the kids with you and run.
It won’t be easy. I did it with 5 kids. It’s ok to apply for public assistance, food stamps, Medicaid, and any other programs. It’s ok to apply for subsidized housing. It’s ok to go and get child support. All of these things are there for a reason. When the kids are all in school, you can work.
But the important part is that you and your children find safety. That behavior he’s showing now won’t get better with time. It gets worse.
Time to go to your local social services and ask for help. Being a single mom with that many kids I am sure you would qualify for a lot of assistance including daycare and/or before and after school care and they will help you find a job and give you assistance to help get child support and custody.
You asked him if you can get a job? Start taking control of your own life and decisions.
Work on getting a degree and setting aside any money you can. Make a plan.
Get you a secret foot fetish page. You only gotta show your feet. Had a friend that did it and he was a straight man . But he had some pretty lookin lady feet
You do realize alimony exists right? He’ll get to pay you both child support and alimony. Dump him.
Go to therapy. That’s not worth breaking up your family for.
Wow, who’s idea is that having 6 children ??? If your a burden well, let him deal with it .
This is so wrong & bothers me to my core. You are valuable. You bring enough to the table. You are raising 6 kids & that is a job in itself! He doesn’t want to put them in daycare then what option is there? Are any of the kids in school?
You could get a work from home job that pays good. Try ratracebellion.com for work from home jobs.
Run ! He is abusive. I’m sorry u are going through this my friend xoxox
first off get a divorce lawyer. second get the hell out of there he is nothing but a control freak. He doesn’t want you to work because then you will have your own money, been there done that everything I made he took except enough for my car payment. he figured it belonged to him even though they weren’t his kids.
I can’t believe ppl are encouraging this person to stay with an abuser… wow
He won’t be any better off paying child support for 6 kids.
You would be eligible for a lot of assistance with 6 children
Alimony and child support, that’s how. And you have to “ask” to get a job? Pardon? That would be the reason I left right there.
You Are not the burden!!! You have always been enough but he will never admit it… he sounds pretty shit and you deserve better. Stop trying to be enough for him.
Same way he’s managing 8 people in this economy working
Work per diem somewhere. You can try EKG monitor tech. School doesn’t cost much and you can work 1 twelve hour shift a week. Good luck
He can’t expect you to get a job, without putting the kids in daycare. And he can’t complain at you for not working when he doesn’t support you working.
He’s gasligting you and bullying you. Save up money, however you need to do it. And start finding help for when you leave.
Your husband is a hateful @ $$. You and your kids deserve better.
He is an ass, you will be better off without an ass.
Having six kids is a job in itself so don’t ever feel bad…and don’t let anyone make you feel less than you are worth. I wish you the best of luck. Why don’t you do something at home like sell cosmetics or home items if you want to work.
6 kids will be a hell of a lot easiser than the 7 you have
Let him have his divorce. Go as soon as you can and talk to a lawyer. He’ll have to pay child support. He won’t like it anymore than you like being brow beaten. He’s just trying to control. Take it back. Take time if you have any time with this many kids, ask yourself if you think this is love. I think he needs a wake-up call. Sorry you’re going through this! You don’t deserve it!
Get away from that controlling nut job
Try working from home. There’s a lot of jobs that offer equipment.
Well you didn’t make them babies alone. Sounds ridiculous but he ain’t gonna like the child support he’ll have to pay. But oh well baby you get yourself together and you handle that like a mom does . Cause every single one is including know WE get shit done
Leave …don’t trust him with the kids if he’s got anger issues
Been there! If child care is a issue get a job working from home until all of your kids are in school! There’s a ton of wfh jobs these days. Feel free to send me a message and I’ll send you the link to where I work and can send you other companies that have wfh positions!
Edited to add that you are not a burden. There’s plenty of men that take care of their wife and kids without making them feel this way just like There’s plenty of women that are single working mothers. If he doesn’t have what it takes to be that man then remove yourself and your children so you can at least have a clear mind. Nobody deserves to live in misery and be treated like a problem. Walk away and build by yourself for you and your babies! It’s scary but it’s 100% possible. I promise. I’m proof.
He sounds like a total twat! How dare he treat you like that! As a mum of 6 children, you must be flat out all the time. He’s a control freak, any man that would put the mother of his children down like that, is a bloody disgrace. You deserve much better.
If you need to put them in daycare do it then again let him stay at home and watch the kids and you go work if he is screaming at you stand up on your own and scream back at him seem like he wants to control you from me personally my mouth I will cut a controlling guy off quick you have kids to think about .once that controlling starts you might as well start leaving him cause it’s not going to stop think about it.
U go to work when he is home and he can suck it up and take care of his kids
Gah…he sounds like my ex. My ex used to scream and yell and verbally and emotionally abuse me for staying home with our children while he “HAD” to go to work. It was awful!! He was the breadwinner and we both made the decision together that I would stay home. He was the one with the education. He knew who he married yet he treated me like he resented me.
I left him 10yrs ago. Best decision of my life!
Honey let me say this. This isn’t you! He’s an asshole!
Before you do anything go see a lawyer. Do not tell him you’re seeking legal advice. Stash money away as much as you can. Get your ducks in a row. You will be ok! You will figure it out! There are resources and he WILL have to pay child support.
What he’s doing is abusive.
Your children deserve better than that! YOU deserve better than that!
Don’t be afraid to accept assistance. With 6 kids unless you make a shit ton of money you should qualify for food stamps, Medicaid, school clothes vouchers and childcare assistance ECT. I know it’s not ideal but I’m just saying this because you shouldn’t let the fear of financial struggles stop you from doing what’s best for your family. There is help for that.
I have 3 kids, soon to be 4 and been there.
Your children deserve a happy mama!
Also keep in mind that you are the example. If you tolerate disrespect and let a man treat you any kind of way then you are setting that same standard for your children to follow when they get older.
They will think that’s what’s normal and wind up with crappy spouses or be that spouse.
If you wouldn’t want your child to be in the kind of relationship youre in one day- then don’t allow yourself to be either.
Being a single parent is hard sometimes, it definitely is but you can do it.
In the meantime try to find a part time job in the evening or online so you can begin saving up money that way if you chose to leave you can.
Plan in advance.