My Husband Thinks He Doesn’t Have to Lift a Finger Because He Works: Advice?

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"I am a full-time mom of 3 who works full-time from home 2 jobs. My husband works a full-time job 8-hour days as a mechanic, we recently have been fighting a lot because I’m overwhelmed with chores. He’s under the impression he doesn’t have to lift a finger at all because he goes to work all day and what I do is easy. Keep in mind I’m a graphic designer and a social media manager for a construction company meaning I’m constantly working well raising 3 kids at home all under the age of 6. He screamed at me today because I said he never helps which is true and he said I don’t have time to do laundry or help h or do dishes all the guys at work wives have everything done when they get home, they don’t have to do this and that and this, I sat there destroyed inside because I am doing the best I can with the time I have I’m so burnt out. I’m so sad and he truly doesn’t give a shit about me. I am thinking of just leaving because I can’t do it anymore. I’m not sure what to do. Am I asking too much for a little help from my husband? This whole fight started because the bbq wasn’t cleaned and it caught on fire when I was trying to cook dinner because he forgot to clean the underneath tray last week, I then burned my arm and had to put out a fire with a toddler on my back in a carrier. He cared more about the grill than me and I said a rude comment like if you just would have cleaned it last week when I asked it wouldn’t have caught fire. I’m running off 0 sleep too so I just idk help. Someone, please give me advice because I’m so burnt out."

RELATED: AITA For Not Wanting To Teach My Boyfriend How To Do Chores?


The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"Hubby wants a mum and not a wife!"

"I’d tell him that regardless how much he works and thinks you don’t, it’s his home as much as yours. If he wants things done that you didn’t seem to get to, then do it. Or mention divorce, if I wasn’t here, you’d have to figure out a way to do everything on your own. Then try and complain about how much I don’t do​"

"Is he your husband or your child? Leave if he persists"

"Yeah that’s not okay at all, you work as well, 2 jobs at that! He needs to do half of everything matter of fact, he can do everything you do for a week and see how he likes it, I bet you he’ll come crawling to you apologizing! Just the fact that he talked to you like that when all you wanted was help would be enough to leave, no need to stress out over that man."

"Your arm caught on fire and all he cared about was the grill? If you work and do everything else already, then you don’t need that useless sack of ish."

"People change for who they want to change for, I’m not saying divorce, leave for awhile, make sure you have child care for the hours he’s at work, desperate times call for desperate measures"

"If yall both have jobs then he needs to get his sh!t together and help you out. Doesn’t matter what kind of work you do, if you have a full-time job then the kids and house aren’t solely your responsibility"

"Wow he’s an ungrateful jerk. What difference does it make whether you work from home or away. Maybe some marriage counseling would help. If he heard it from a professional he may listen and change."

"Hire a nanny, a chef and a maid for one week using his account."

"He doesn’t want to help, then separate. One less person to take care of."

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