I want another baby he doesn’t… he said he would rather leave if that’s what i wanted i could have it with another person basically… what would you do?
Respect his wishes and decide if I need move on or not.
Only you know what you need out of life!!
If you love him respect his wishes. You guys have kids be grateful
Give it time, really consider what you want and what you have. Is it really worth losing what you have now? Or do you feel like you would gain more by ending your relationship with your husband and father of your children. Ask him what makes him feel the way he does. Consider asking him what would need to happen for him to think about the possibility again. I wish you the best of luck.
Just like you, he has his ideal amount of kids. You gotta respect that. That can be a deal breaker for me. If he wants what I don’t, I’d leave. Vis versa. Life’s too short to settle. Get what you want.
find someone else who wants a baby
Was the amount of kids discussed before marriage? You can’t force him to have/want another, but you do have the right to find someone who does. What is more important to you, your marriage or another baby?
Was this discussed prior to marriage. Is it being discussed as an option or did you just spring it on him?
My partner wants another one
I have 4… 3 previous relationship 1 with him and he has another. It’s not happening. Like your husband said… I said to him if he wants another it’s with someone else… this world has enough babies
Respect his choice and accept the choice he’s making for his life and body. You’re going to have to decide what you want. If you can live without another baby or live without him. No one should be forced into doing something or a life they don’t want. If the rolls were reversed you would want to be respected too.
Thats his choice and you have to accept it. Just like if you didn’t want another and he did he has to accept it. Or he can leave and have one with someone else. Just like you can if thats really a deal breaker for you.
If you only have one child he’s being unreasonable. If you have two already, it’s a reasonable deal. (Including children from previous marriages) children cost a fortune to raise and maybe he’d rather live a comfortable life than invest all his time and money in children? He’s given you two options. It’s your choice now. Just interesting that he can walk away so easily. He must feel very strongly about this.
Get a puppy, they’re just as labor intensive in the beginning. One that is well respected child friendly like a lab or terrier or spaniel. Then wait six months being the quiet mom of your baby and.puppy and the wo derful
Ask him if he loves you, does he respect you cos by the sounds of it you don’t respect his feelings …maybe an idea for both of you to talk it over are you feeling lonely, how many children do you have. Why do you want another child to come into this world with the state everything is…and if he does agree to let you have another will he love the child as he loves the one he already has… both of you need to discuss it seriously. I have children and I love them all dearly as does my husband they have all grown up into lovely people with children of their own we now have a great grandchild and I love every minute of being with my grandkids when I see them.
That’s a tough one. Sounds like he is adamant on not wanting another. If you have another he could resent you.
Respect his decision not to have another or leave.
Respect his wishes and decisions and then decide how you want to move forward with your life. No one should force anyone to have a baby.
Having kids is a life long experience, some people can only give so much . Its better to know this before having more kids .
Sounds like you need to make a decision, stay with him or divorce him. You can’t force someone to want another child. You’re not wrong for wanting one, but he’s not wrong for not wanting one. Which do you want more?
I would say the both of you need to communicate
I mean…he totally has that right. And so you do… so… if you want a baby… break up… its pretty simple
how you both feel is important. not just you, not just him. find a way to compromise. his words sound pretty hurtful too, I know I’d be hurt
You need to decide what’s more important to you, having another child or your marriage and his feelings. Personally, I’d keep my husband.
I know a good divorce lawyer…
Did he want more then one child before you got married?
Honestly if my husband wanted another I’d leave so he could with someone else. So I understand where he is coming from. Kids are a lot. Also how old is your child or children? What did y’all agree to before marriage
Babies are deal breakers for a lot of people. He is letting you know he doesn’t want anymore so you need to respect that. He is giving you the option to be with other people if you want more kids. Really think if wanting more kids is worth not being married anymore.
These comments don’t pass the vibe check. If a person, no matter the gender or role in the relationship, has reached the amount of babies they are maximally comfortable providing for (financially, emotionally, physically, mentally), then they are allowed to put up a boundary. I know of a few people who didn’t listen to their partners and the baby either ended up resented, or their relationship was met with either an abrupt, or long played out mess of an end.
Listen to your partner. You can’t compromise a baby in there.
Either accept he doesn’t want another baby, or break up and move on. Don’t force him into parenthood.
The amount of women in here that say do it anyway. If that’s the way he really feels you have to respect that and if that means the end of a marriage for you then that’s what’s happening. I personally wouldn’t want to be forced into another child and I wouldn’t bring a child into a forced situation.
Lol that is leaving your husband
How many kids do you guys have now?
It’s kind of one of those situations that a no has to be the answer if one person doesn’t want another kid.
You have options if you want, but weigh them very carefully.
This was a deal breaker for me. We split up for 3 months and ended up falling madly in love all over again - then got pregnant with our twins. We are now a family of five abd although its hard we both have no regrets. The thing is - is it a deal breaker for you? Or is it because hes so closed off that it bothers you. You need to get to the root of it before making that judgment call. I am the ‘breadwinner’ of the family also - he was a stay at home dad and raises our other babies wonderfully. Communicate, maybe hes got feelings hes afraid to share with you and so just closes the conversation instead.
This is all situation dependent. Questions like age of parents and kids, length of relationship, the roles each person plays, financial stability, etc. All play a factor however, the only person who knows what is best for them and what they really want is you.
Obviously context is missing and such but to react in such a way of threatening break up would be red flag enough to question my.future with the man, if that was his first response
But if it’s an ongoing discussion and he’s adamant on his position then you are only.hurting yourself by not.moving on or accepting his choice
I can see from both points of view .can u afford another one if he is the only bread winner .think you have to seriously sit down talk bout without either getting cross .it’s got to be joint decision .this is really a hard one.
Having kids is hard and stressful and it’s not always fun… I thought I wanted 4, until I had 2. Lol it’s too expensive in this economy to keep popping out babies. Try to think about the positive aspects of not having more. Like maybe you two can travel sooner? Or save money for something super nice? Not re starting potty training or sleep training ect. But if it’s something you absolutely need in your life… and he absolutely can’t do it, then maybe you guys won’t workout sounds like it’s time for a really hard conversation. Goodluck
Ok so have one with someone else
Good question but don’t leave him
My advice is come to terms with being done having babies if you want to stay married to him. His no, or your no, cancels out the yes period.
There is some TERRIBLE advice in these comments
Did it. Have 2 more beautiful daughters. Worth it.
You both have a right to your bodies and procreation. If you need another baby it’s breakup time. Otherwise one of you will resent the other anyway.
Mine is the opposite, talking about wanting to have another baby. I’m 37 and our son hasn’t even turned one yet. We have a 3 year old and a PRE TEEN.
I screamed NO. He’s says i smile when i say hell no so I’m contemplating it, but its like my brain can’t even wrap around whats on our plate now!! Like my brain won’t process it. It is too expensive. Too exhausting. He is nuts.
Either wrap your heart around being done having babies or split up and go find someone who wants a baby. You cannot force him to want more kids. Pressuring him into it isn’t fair to the child or him. If you split up, you are taking a gamble. You may never find someone who wants to have a baby with you. You may meet someone who wants a baby with you but find yourself unable to get pregnant again or unable to carry to term. A baby is not guaranteed. Are you willing to lose your marriage and split your current children’s family for the possibility of having another child? If not, go to therapy and work through the grief of being done having babies before you wanted to be done.
Respect his decisions. Just like you would want him to respect yours if they tables were reversed.
He’s not the bad guy for saying how he feels, you’re the bad guy if changing his mind is your intention
What’s his reasoning? Like money, responsibility, space? Maybe he’s just more logical than you are… not being mean, I was the same way when we had our third and although he was okay w having another he told me we really shouldn’t bc of a health problem I have … we decided to anyways and my problem got worse… no regrets but he was definitely just looking out for me.
I’d say that’s ver y mature of him to accept that if you want another baby he won’t hold you back
What would you do if HE wanted another baby but you didn’t want to carry?!
Respect his choices just like you’d want him to support yours!
It’s not a bad thing to not want more. I get asked all the time to have another and my answer is flat out no. Financial reasons, splitting my time between more kids, keeping my sanity. You should respect his decision if it’s valid. Babies aren’t babies forever, they will become adult people that you have to be a parent to for the rest of your life.
How many do you have? Was this ever discussed before… like shit 8 the amount of children you would have or want? Is he the only one working and he is overwhelmed? These are all important factors… both sides are important… is not having another baby a deal breaker for you?
You the problem it sounds like. Stop making them if you ain’t paying them
Flip the script.
If you were DONE done and he kept pressuring you to have another, how would that make you feel?
Sounds like he doesn’t want a future with you and doesn’t care that he has 1 baby with you! I’d re evaluate your relationship
Nobody that loves you will talk to you like that …
Yes kids is a huge decision but to speak to your partner like that…
I think that’s a bigger issue then the baby topic at hand …
I say that to my husband. He wants another one and he wants it to be a girl. I, do not. I have one child and that’s enough for me. If he wants another one, he’s going to have to get another woman pregnant to have that. I have a right to not want another child, as he has a right to want another one himself. If that’s something we can’t agree on, then so be it. I never wanted kids yet I still chose to have our son when I got pregnant (considering the fact he was genuinely so excited to have a baby together) and after that I decided motherhood is definitely not for me. But I put my son first always and give him everything I got to love him and raise him right. And through the past 5 years of having him, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ll never do it again and that’s just me. You can’t control what another person does or doesn’t want. This is one of those “deal with it or don’t” kind of situations, and something you need to think long and hard on. I wish you the best 🏻
Ask him why he doesn’t want another baby or maybe he just doesn’t want one right now. Talk to him about it and find out more information. His answers may surprise you.
From woman to woman you both need to compromise. He needs to slow down and not be so quick to leave you. And you really need to respect his choice. Why would you want to force that on him anyhow. It could cause resentment towards and the baby . He’s telling you he’s not wanting to have that responsibility and
It’s very stressful having to support a family. He’s the provider while you are home with the baby, or leaving the infant with someone is extremely expensive.
How many children do you already have and why do you feel you want another one.
This topic has way too much layers with limited information. My advice, talk to a therapist who has no vested interest and can help you both communicate your wants and needs- ultimately it’s between the two of you
Kids are stressful and expensive. Not everyone can handle having more than 1 or 2 kids. If he’s decided he’s done having more kids. Then have an open conversation with him on why he won’t consider having another and you need to decide if its a deal breaker for you.
Do not have another kid against his will. Especially if he’s made it clear he will leave. It wouldn’t be fair for you to force that upon him.
Don’t just do it anyway. He could completely reject this baby or fail to bond with him/her based on resentment & that’s really unfair.
Do you mind me asking how many other children you guys have?
You can’t force a child on someone who doesn’t want one. You are being selfish and I guarantee if it was the other way around, people would be outraged. Your body, your choice. His body his choice. Y’all need therapy
If that’s were his actual words… Then his choice of words weren’t the best… Both you have to respect each others decisions… But why would you wanna bring another baby in this fkd up world, that’s just getting worse every day.
Leave you’re Incompatible
This post just proves how ignorant snd self-absorbed women are.
Well you can’t force someone to have another baby if they don’t want one. So I would either accept not having another baby or move on.
Sounds like he don’t want u anyways.Goodbye…Next
Chey Jaco well said.I am old , but back in my day, I too wanted a second child. Hubby wasnt on board.with that. We discussed the reasons and, after seeing. some of our friends
and family members were really struggling who had larger families, financially, the spouse working 2 jobs, the Mom gave uo her job or put her carrer on hold, as day care is expensive. we both agreed that giving our child what he needed and living comfortable, without having to take away from our child and going without we didn’t have anymore… I was disappointed at First but , I would volunteer to take a friend or family members child for the day, or weekend and got my satisfaction. of wanting another.
Have the baby with someone else. That’s what I would do. I’d stop sex all together and kick him to the curb.
Why would you want a baby with someone who doesn’t?
Obviously don’t have children
This group is so sexist it’s unreal loads of people saying what he’s said is hurtful, how? Because he’s given her a option to move on if she definitely wants another child?? It’s his body if he doesn’t want the responsibility of bringing up another child and not to mention the cost then that’s up to him, if it was her who didn’t want one you’d all be saying it’s your body so your choice and telling her to leave him
Well you decide if the potential for more children or the current family you have is more important. Sounds like he knows that’s he’s unable to give you what you are wanting and he doesn’t want to stand in your way.
If you manipulate your way into another baby with him there will be resentment even if he loves the baby he will always know that you couldn’t respect his no. Now he should be more responsible with his fertility if he doesn’t want more he needs to get a vasectomy.
You are not bound to a man who doesn’t want anymore children,unless you both had agreed, before you took your marriage vows.
Can you support yourself and your kids on your own? If not, keep using birth control. Can you do volunteer work or take in foster babies to cure your “baby fever”? What if he wanted to take in one of his parents or a handicapped sibling you had to care for and support for the rest of your lives? How would you feel then? This is what you are asking him to do.
What’s more important to you?
Your husband and current family?
Or another baby?
Why is he wrong for not wanting another baby? How many do they have already? She needs to respect how he feels!! Seems like she has the issue
If you want another kid that bad let him find someone who is done having kids. don’t try to force another child on him. He doesn’t need a reason for not wanting more other then literally “I don’t want more”
He can pour his gravy where he wants or doesn’t want. Don’t trick him. Thats fucked up. Imagine him changing your pills around for something different to make unprotected. Or when the pull out game becomes a no warning I’m gonna cum in you by surprise without a warning.
Question is how many you have … if none than yeah, go and find your happiness… if one, than communicate options, if you already have two than I don’t blame him, it’s hard and expensive to have kids and he not wanting anymore is fine, but I d rather stay with father of my children that I love instead of moving on to maybe someone, breaking my family for maybe happiness, what would essentially make my children unhappy, so it would make me selfish-I have children to be happy and have them happy not to cause then pain just because I want more… hope you know where I am coming from…
So yeah-the main question is how many you already have and why do you want more.
Hes using a baby as an excuse. Sounds like he’s planning on leaving you regardless
So sorry ~
He has more sense than you
Some of these comments disgust me. It’s sad that people are chastising this man for not wanting more children… the comments would be different if it was her that didn’t
Not a fair question.
How many kids do you have?
Do you stay at home? Or work ?
Is he the only source of income ?
Are you going to another good provider or just a sperm donor? Sounds like you think your preferences come before his.
Just imagine if you were unable to have children, would you be ok with him ditching you ?
Have you considered the future for your family with costs of living and education?
Sorry but you sound entitled and selfish!
If I wanted another baby more than I wanted my husband I would let him leave.
If I wanted my husband more than another baby I would give up on having another baby.
Have a baby. He won’t leave.
Respect, respect, respect.
Good luck. The choice is really yours to choose. He told you what he thought and you went to social media for a answer. Follow your heart not other people’s opinions. I wish you the best in your choice.
I didn’t want 2 kids but my husband did. Sometimes people need time because that is a huge decision. Sometimes people change their minds and sometimes they don’t.
That’s heartbreaking that he would say that but I think it’s just his way of saying he really just doesn’t want another child. I would put yourself in his shoes for a minute and think about his perspective on the matter. How would you feel if your partner was wanting another child and you weren’t?
How many do you already have
If your husband leaves, you are definitely not going to have another baby. I would leave it alone for a while. He may change his mind in time. With inflation like it is, he is probably worried about being financially stable for the kids he already has.
You don’t have another child or you leave. It’s really quite simple. He has the right to say when he is done.
I would respect his feelings as they are valid and evaluate how much I really love him vs how much I want/need another child. If you love him enough to place a side that desire for a child and stay without resentment and retribution towards him then stay. Maybe someday he’ll change his mind maybe he won’t. If you don’t then go ahead and leave as it’s not far to him to be stuck in a relationship that shows him no love and only resentment for having his own feelings.
Respect his feelings and not have anymore kids. Or just find someone else and have more kids. Easy.
If you love him,don’t have anymore kids
Depends if having a baby is more important than your marriage…
I said I’d rather jump off a bridge than have anymore kids, so I totally feel him I absolutely love my kids more than anything in this world, but I would not want to start over!
Really! really! That is a very hurtful remark ,I can understand not wanting another but to say he’ll leave? It takes two to tango they say…you can’t do it by yourself! Better reassess this relationship .
You decide if it’s a deal breaker. If it is then leave. If you can be happy and live the rest of your life without regret or resentment then stay. In my opinion tho children are forever, your spouse may not be…