My Husband Refuses To Rock Our Son To Sleep: Advice?


"I’m a stay-at-home mom with my 18-month-old. I love it, but we all know it’s challenging. My husband is a pipeliner and works hard all day. I don’t mind picking up the house while I can or doing his laundry and making him dinner. That’s the least I can do for him, letting me be a stay-at-home mom. It doesn’t bother me. By the end of the day, I’m so drained and love it when he comes home because he’s a very good father. When it comes to bedtime, he says he doesn’t want to rock our son because it takes too long, and he wants his sleep. I tell him it helps me out a lot when he can rock him just at night time to give mama a little break, and he just argues with me on why he is right. It’s been breaking my heart lately because I do it day in and day out. I’m his mom and fully capable of rocking him, but man, every now and then, of his father doing so is nice. Should I just not even ask anymore and do so every night? I cook, clean up supper, water plants, give our son a bath, and then some—all in the evening time of him being home on the couch. If I’m complaining too much, tell me. Just how I’m feeling"

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"It sounds like it’s the rocking that is daunting, not the responsibility. I mean if you could just put the babe to bed awake you’d be less tired as well. At 18 months I would move away from rocking and make the night routine before sleep a lot shorter so dad can just put babe to bed, not make him sleep and he’ll probably be more willing!!"

"I think finding an easier more self soothing bed time routine may be better for everyone involved. His sleep is necessary and reasons for needing rest are just as valid as yours. I think it’s time to come to a compromise on something that will work best for the entire family."

"I just can’t believe how often this type of thing is an issue. Being a “stay-at-home-mom” does not mean that you are the only one who should be doing the parenting round-the-clock. Being a stay-at-home-mom means that you and your partner have decided it makes more sense for you to be the day care provider than a stranger. You’re both doing full-time work during work hours. The parenting is split 50/50 when you’re both home, during non-work hours. Period."

"I feel so badly for the women who guilt themselves into doing all the parenting 24/7 because they “don’t have to work.” If you were at work, you’d have to pay for childcare. Split the parenting after hours like you would with any other work arrangement. Once again, a story has made me thankful that I found a decent man who doesn’t have to be begged to do the things he should be doing. Best wishes to you and hope it works out."

"Stop asking and just hand him the baby. He’s not doing you a favor he’s taking care of his son."

"Single mother raised 4 kids alone plus worked most of those years. I understand what you’re saying about it being time consuming but working on the pipeline so you can stay home is exhausting too. Plus rocking an 18 month old is only creating a habit that’s only going to be harder to shake later."

"I think this is where compromise comes in. You guys agree on him picking two or three nights a week to put him to sleep so you can have a break to do what you need to do or want to do. It shouldn't be one way or the other no matter what. Relationships are about compromise."

"Hes your husband and your child father. There is no "helping' . You both live in the home, he works outside the home, you work inside the home. You both are responsible for everything."

"If he doesn’t rock, then why doesn’t he clean up dinner or do some other chore while you are rocking?"

"I had a conversation with my husband about expectations and responsibilities. He’s an electrician, so I sat with him and kind of said how much I appreciate everything he does for us and I know his job is physically demanding and he’s tired, but I’m tired too. It’s just a different tired. After I kind of laid it out that way he saw things differently. You just need to walk him through your day and everything you, while still acknowledging his work. It helps."

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