My husband refuses to get a job: Advice?

I am a working mom I work six days a week my husband refuses to get a job he says it hurts him to work my kids tell people that I am never home and its kids true because I am the sole support for my family my husband and me have been having issues in our marriage because of the work time he says he never gets any time with me, but when I am home he leaves or has his friends over we only have intimate times 1 or 2 times a month he says it’s because of his ex, but we have been together for seven years

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Leave. His. Sorry. Ass.

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Hun, you know the answer. He is using you for the convenience you provide. Look after you & the kids instead & kick his sorry ass out

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It’s time for a divorce!

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What does his ex have to do with sex? He still sleeping with her?

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He needs to get into therapy.
If he refuses to do that… kick him out

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Oh no honey. If he’s not willing to bring anything to the tables and he needs to get up from the table. Do not let him do this. For what you allow will not only continue but get worse.

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How many kids you got? Cuz it looks like you taking care of one more

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He’d be hurt, hungry & homeless.
Wth???
What you asking for advice for, this shit is simple

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Let his sorry ass go. Send him back to his ex ok that so bullshit

And your still with him WHY? You don’t even need to make a pro and con list. He’s a loser sorry not sorry. You can do bad all by yourself girl. Kick him to the curb immediately

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Using you. Boot him to the curb.

Does he take care of the house and the kids and the chores ?

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Do you use him to babysit the kids? Because I see no reason why you’re asking this question… Smh

Easy answer. Leave his lazy ass!

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Kick his lazy, ungrateful ass out.

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When my dad was bad on drugs, he use to do the same.
The best thing that happened to them was divorce & my dad’s been clean for almost half a year now. My mom feels exhausted but more fulfilled since she only has to care for her almost 3 year old son (my brother).
If you guys can’t communicate and he still refuses to do anything to help things be better for you - it’s time to separate and force him to help through the court system.

Was he any better 6.5 years ago? Or even 7.5 years ago? If not why did you marry him? What’s his ex gotta do with all this? Reread what your wrote and then answer the question as if your sister/best friend/daughter wrote it. He’s no man he’s a child so he doesn’t need intimacy

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it wasnt his ex when he was having sex, making the kids. he wants you to mother him. send him back to his mama

Seems like you carry some dead weight.

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You already know you’re being used; you dont need us to tell you :heart:

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you his sugar mama… you made it comfortable for him. i would make him get a job. if he refuses tell him you will leave him. clearly you dont need him but he needs you… you deserve someone who is willing to give the same effort and who wouldn’t want you to be away so much

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What does he mean it hurts him to work,more like hes triffling.Make his sorry ass get a job or get out. You dont deserve to be treated like that.You can do fine all by yourself.

L​:eyes:SER!.. if I was you I wouldn’t waste another minute on that man-child. Find yourself a real man.:blush:
Believe me you won’t regret it!

Is he disabled if not tell him bye

Just a pure dee bum! You have children to raise, you did not sign up to raise a man-child. Time to throw the bum out

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He is blaming his ex…he must be a narcissist. They always blame everyone else for their sins. Been there done that.

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Buh-bye!!! FOH with that nonsense. What kind of man is he?

He can get a night job

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Hurts him to work …??? He’s ex?? Lady please leave him n quick . Don’t be so naive u don’t need that kind of man.

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Yea he has to go because everything about him seems super shady

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Amazing how these comments are. If this was a dad ranting about his wife you all would be saying how ungrateful he is and how lucky he should be to have her stay home lol

Sooooo why don’t YOU stay home and he work. If he won’t then either keep doing what you’re doing or leave :woman_shrugging:

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Kick him to the curb like yesterday.

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What do you mean? Was he working when y’all met? Got married? How long did you know him?

No way am I taking care of a grown able-bodied man. If he’s sick or injured or between jobs after being laid off or something then everything should be done at home - laundry, meals, children’s homework and all the cleaning. If he’s not doing those things something is very wrong. You cannot take on a grown adult as a child.

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Kick his a …out and make him pay child support and daycare for your kids

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He is making a fool of you. Get rid of his no good butt. You married the wrong lazy A…

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Ugh. Dump him asap unless you enjoy being his mother. Yuck!

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Dump his lazy ass, not that complicated…

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Definitely narcissistic behavior.
Boot him. Do not waste another 7 years.

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What you put up with is what will continue… He’s a grown ass man… You ain’t his mama. Laziness is not a disability.

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Get rid of him girl!!! Not a man at all!!!

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Fuck man i am going through something so similar but we dont have kids and we been together less than a year , im already at my witts end i dont know how you have done it for so long. You deserve all you think you do and you are clearly capable of supporting your family without him

Does he help you at all? While you work does he cook, clean, keep up the laundry? Does he have any of the children all day to care for? How about shopping for groceries? Running your children to appointments, school functions etc…?? Does he do anything constructive?! If you answer no to any of these questions you both need to reevaluate your marriage and relationship! If you do it all on your own now what do you need him for!!!

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I refuse to pay the way for an adult man period . You are his gravy train and he knows it . If he was between jobs ok but he’s not

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Whats the point of having him around hes only doing it cause you allow it.

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Seven words for you Dear:

I CAN DO BAD ALL BY MYSELF

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So is he having sex with the ex that he can only have sex with you once or twice??

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  1. It hurts him to work? 2. Because of his ex? These two questions should say it all. What does your sex life have to do with anyone’s ex?
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What’s because of his ex? If y’all been together 7 years. Girl he sounds like a bum and you deserve someone who makes you feel happy!

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Oh lord read between the lines!

Omg !! You deserve more girl !! Like a partnership not another child !! :heart:

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No way in hell would I support a man kick his lazy ass out

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He sounds like a narcissist. It’s never his fault. You can’t do anything right. What you do is never enough. I think you need to take a long look at your relationship. If you think it’s worth staying for you both may need some counseling. If not, you have some planning to do. Remember, he is home with your kids. They will pick up his attitude toward you. He just sounds toxic.

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I legit work 40-45 hours a week 6 days a week as well. My husband stays home. My kids also don’t like that I’m never home. This was our choice to have him home to care for our kids. It saves so much on day care and I know my children are cared for the way they need to be. I’m grateful he’s home. I’m grateful he cooks dinner and does what is needed at home. If you don’t like your situation change it.

You need to lawyer up, girl! Take charge of your life. Kick his useless ass out and don’t look back. You and your children deserve better!

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I was married to a man like this. He will never change. You will continue to be the sole provider. He is not a man. Is a a little boy in a big body wanting a mommy to take care of him. I suggest to kick him out and move on.

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Sounds like someone we all know. Loser was getting everything for free.

TF!!! Come on honey. Your asking us?? Look in the mirror and ask yourself these ? Your how old ? Lord child.

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This is going to come of a bit vulgar but here it is, What kind of dumb shit is this? You ain’t getting money,food or Dick… What the hell is he still there for??? What you spend on his gas, groceries and friends equals child care expenses. Actually hire an old Mexican lady for $100 a week + room and board. She’ll clean your house, do your laundry, cook your dinner and watch your kids all while teaching them a different language. Then he can skip his Happy ass on down the road.

Get rid of him.He is no good for you.

Girl why are you with a little boy? U deserve a man!

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Kick this loser to the curb,you and your children deserve better.

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If he is at home, I hope you get home to a clean house, meal on the table etc etc

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He’s a parasite and your just there to feed the parasite.

Kick him to the curb :woman_shrugging:

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The kids deserve better .omg

You can do bad on ur own worse with him

Why are you putting up with this BS? He’s lazy and possibly cheating and making excuses. Kick his ads out and find you a MAN not a little boy with excuses

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Boot that lazy ass out!!!

I find it funny he hurts to bad to work, but has enough energy to hang out with friends. This combination of things mentioned does make it sound like he’s using you. The kids also deserve a happy mom. You will get there in time after he is gone!

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Simple … tell him to find some where else to live because you wont be paying his way … NARC !!

You can go to counseling if you want— but you already KNOW the answer.

He wouldn’t be my Husband!

The other ladies explained it …well…

I can’t believe any woman puts up with this shit. Why do you need to ask what to do?? Get rid of this loser. I bet he already has a girlfriend.

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He can’t complain that he never spends enough time with you when he is partly to blame for that. He sounds like he hasn’t grown up which is sad. I also agree that if a woman is allowed to stay home with the kids then a man is too. But with saying that it’s only if u can afford for that to happen whether it’s the male or female that’s home. So either he stops complaining or helps with the family.

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Hurts to work? Does he have some type of disability? Does he stay home with the kids? Those are the only 2 plausible reasons for him not to work.

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You need to leave this guy. I had one just like him. He doesn’t give a shit about you. Thank goodness I didn’t have any kids with him.

Everyone has done said what I would say.

Been there, done that.

Get out. Find a MAN.

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What do you need him for? What does he do for you? Does he at least take good care of the kids and the house while you’re working your butt off. What are his pain issues? There is bound to be some type of work that he can do…and if he is really unable to work, he should be on disability. Sounds like he just makes excuses. Give him an ultimatum…man up or get out…you’re pretty much handling things on your own already.

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Girl put his ass out! You deserve better than a lazy sorry ass male.

You adopted a man child.

I’ve been there. Getting rid of him will release you from sooo much pain, ignorance, and financial stress. I left a decade ago and got my life back. I realized I’d lost myself in that depression of a marriage. I’m back, and found a true life partner. Life is short. Don’t waste it being miserable.

Sounds like my ex husband. He had Peter Pan syndrome. Hes 40 and still cant keep a job.

We teach people how to treat us and you’re teaching your husband to treat you like a doormat. Only you can change this.
If it hurts to work he should have been with doctors and pursued disability. Otherwise he should get off of his lazy ass and participate in caring for his family. He can drive for Uber and help out.
You have to decide first if this is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. If it is tell him to fix it. If it isn’t tell him things are on the path of ending.

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You deserve someone who works as hard as you do… husband or not.

Is not even an option of him not working in my opinion. I’m sorry but I can never put up with it. Especially for him to complain about you never having any time because you’re at work.

Dads can stay home too. It’s not just a job for a Mom. Moms can be sole supporter of their families.

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I wouldn’t make it eight years

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Why post here ur shit get rid of him what u need him for he ain’t a man he is a lil bitch kick him out no ifs and butts

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He needs to get a job or get out. Divorce his ass, you’re already doing most everything, what the hell is to miss? He can still be a father to his kids, and pay court mandated support. You’re kids aren’t learning anything valuable or worthy watching their father mooch off their mom, while she stands by and let’s him. You have no time for your kids due to him not helping. Is that how you want to show your children you value them? My mom was single parent and if I didn’t see her due to her working I understood why, and appreciated the time we had. If there had been a man in picture on his ass at home I would resent the hell out of both of them.

I would never support a man, and honey you dont have a husband! You have another child you are supporting! Kick his ass to the curb! He is pathetic, and obviously not raised right.

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Why are you even with him??

Wooooowwwwwwwwwww how can you survive this disaster?? Ain’t nobody got time for that shit, dump the freeloader anytime soon

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Well ya put up with it for yrs. Did you think it was gonna change? Give him the :v::v::v: save yourself some money and stress

See ya kick him to the kerb love

If he’s not disabled or been told by a doctor he can’t work, he needs to get a job or some type of hustle. A lazy man is not cute. People will refuse to help you if the know you got a man not trying.

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So much of the story is missing but I agree with Dellene what she said

Damn I ain’t even married and I’ll be lucky to get it once a month!!