It was very unkind and there are definitely nicer ways to say something. I personally WANT to know if something is not flattering on me
Wow what a rude thing to say. Me and my husband have spoken about this before and we’ve always said that we would be open and honest if we ever felt we were letting ourselves go physically or mentally. If this hurt your feelings then speak to him about it and let him know he can’t say things like that to you.
And if you aren’t happy work on yourself for you and not for what your husband would want/ think.
just because he doesn’t see it as a big deal doesn’t mean you’re overreacting, it’s YOUR emotions.
Like I said, I would calmly have a conversation to be honest about how that made you feel and to set boundaries moving forward
I would want my husband to tell me something wasn’t fitting in the right way before going out in public. I think it hurt you because you were excited about losing 20 lbs and then being told that your new outfit didn’t fit well. I get how that could be crushing to your spirit when you feel you are moving in a positive direction. But your spouse should be able to speak open and honestly to you and you to him. Your confidence has been rocked due to the weight gain, I’m sure. Take the constructive criticism as him coming from a place of love and not a place of meanness. Sometimes when we are in a certain place in our own feelings we hear what is being said to us differently.
Get your confidence back girl; never be in a headspace where someone else’s words can crush your happiness.
He’s an abuser. Run.
My husband said to me today “you look decent for once.” Well, I just told him “you never look decent so lucky me.”
I can’t stand being married anymore
My husband would have said “Baby, I love you and all your fat rolls…you’re beautiful”. She’s married to a piece of garbage.
What the hell I’m sorry but that’s a horrible horrible thing to say to you I mean sure you’ve put on weight but first of all you put it on because you had a child from the sound of things it was his child nonetheless that you gave birth to so your weight to him should be beautiful
I would be more than pissed and really really hurt if my husband ever said anything remotely like this to me and I have never had one of his children but my husband loves me enough to not ever say anything like that to me even if he was mad at me he wouldn’t say that to me
Sometimes the truth hurts but clap back and tell that lil dick ahole to take you shopping or take his opinion and shove it
You can lose 300lbs of weight by filing for a divorce
Be happy he told you while still at home. Yes he could have been more sensitive with word choice. Seriously at least he said anything at all. Imagine the women who go out and have public criticism.
Omg. Date night is OVA!! I’d he pissed!! And hurt!!
Mad when men lie, mad when men tell the truth. These guys can never catch a break
You didn’t overreact, your husband acted like an asshole and a bully. He needs to apologize to you.
Hate me, don’t hate me, but that is a pretty big weight gain over a span of 2-3 years. Ladies, we can’t always blame having kids as a weight gain excuse. Your husband should be able to be honest with you 100%. If you got emotional over it, it could be because your self consciousness.
Just use that as fuel of motivation … Wipe your tears and keep going … Hopefully u still want him after your glow up …
Mine called me fat every chance he got. I gained 17 lbs after having our baby and he never missed an opportunity to remind me. He’s currently living with his parents.
I’m husband is always telling me that I’m fat, I weight 140 lbs, i told him that I’m doing a tummy tuck now he’s saying that I’m crazy.
And my appointment for my tummy tuck is on July 14
Ehhh I’d just laugh it off and tell him give my rolls a break… doh wanna sound insensitive but why do ppl take offense when being called fat… I love my size… nobody can make me feel bad about it… I love my body… w
Hardly hear ppl get offended when they are told ur so slim so why ur fat is an insult… if u doh like him making u feel bad then do sumtn bout it… hell boost urself and let him know how much u love ur extra pounds . More of u to love. Make jokes bout it… everybody wasn’t meant to be slim or else that is how the world would have been created… but dats my opinion…
You’re not. It hurts. I have been there. It’s not easy to lose weight. Just keep at it and take your time. It’s better to lose weight slow and keep it off.
Your husband is a dumb ass he should love you and be proud of you reguardless of your weight your beautiful person and he should see this .Beauty comes from with in and if you really want to hit back at him remind him when he was younger and if is losing his hair you might make a comment or if he a beer gut and so on
The only extra weight you are carrying is him he can’t expect you to be the same size you was before you had children he should respect you he shouldn’t care if you have gained weight or not your the mother of his children ur body was their home for 9months he should be grateful and love you no matter what size you are not worry about weight gain
Sorry if this offends you xx
I think of a boyfriend I once had that would make me weight myself every week I was 5.9 and weight was 135 he got me to go down to 122 and anytime I got up to 125 he would have me limit food. I am now more than twice the person I was and my husband married me when I was at 140 and has not complained about my size. find a man that loves you and not your size. be whatever size you want to be. smaller is more healthy but bot are beautiful
Lose the weight of that man and live your best life girl. You’re not asking for too much to be loved for who you are. As far as I’m concerned when a man can carry babies he can tell me how to dress until then dress for your own comfort and not his.
I can’t believe what you women put up with. You’re all married to misogynistic narcissists. How disgusting and sad for you all. I truly hope you all wake up and get a back bone one day and decide to leave these jokes you call men and husband’s to be actually happy and respected and treated correctly.
My husband decided that while our twins were in the tub(less then 1yo) to tell me he wasn’t attracted to me anymore. Also said if I got over 200 he would leave. I got up to 230 and things were never the same in my heart. That was 20 years ago. We’re still married.
Try Thrive and maybe a new husband?
Same… I never used to struggle with my weight. Got put on birth control and it ruined me. I started gaining weight FAST. Got it taken out and maintained ~160 until I got pregnant- after having kids the weight just does not come off like it used to. And I started overeating due to issues from my childhood and feeling bad about my appearance. I’m 220ish and 5’6. What your husband said hurt- and I can relate 1000%. I’m truly sorry But, men do suck at communication. I would tell him that the WAY he said it really hurt your feelings because you’re feeling insecure regarding your weight. Help him to understand how you’re feeling. Once again, I’m sorry and ignore the catty women in here who are better than the rest of us
What does your husband look like???
What a dick. Sorry but you have every right to be upset. He must be the perfect prize.
You are TRYING!! Weight loss is hard and takes time but i bet you could lose say 180lbs with a change of locks and a click of your fingers??! lol but seriously if he’s going to be a jerk I’d give him a HUGE serve and re consider this relationship.
If my husband EVER said ANYTHING like that to me I would bite his nose right off his face!!!
Your not wrong hes needs to be more mindful
That was so disrespectful of him. I feel for you!
He shouldn’t speak down to you.
No you are not wrong. There are no right or wrong feelings. You feel, what you feel.
I’d reply with “Ah well your pants make your dick look small… oh wait…”
Everyone gains weight after a baby, but that extra 100 lbs could actually be unhealthy. Have you considered a weight loss surgery to help you get back on track?
We always tell our husband’s to be honest but when they do we hate it…
For me comments made with disregard of someone’s feelings are meant to be an insult even if they didn’t “think” about their words at the time. Like I would never tolerate that type of disrespect, a more proper and caring comment would of been “honey you look great but you know it’s Abit tight in some areas and I wanted to be honest and let you know.”
Your husband is very insensitive… considering you gave him 2 children… I wouldn’t cook for at least a month and he can wash his own clothes too. JERK
Mine would never say that, but he would tell me I didn’t look good in it or he wants me to wear this or that….but never point blank say that. But in all fairness, I tell him when something doesn’t look ok. But not hurtful like. If that makes sense.
I understand the hurt you are feeling. I been there myself. Use this to gain strength to change the circumstance. I used to be 267 now I’m 145. Pm me if you want to chat
I would of been so crushed .
Honeybun, your feelings are VALID. You were excited to show your s/o your new outfit for an outing with him and he was a prick in response. If he was really trying to give you “helpful criticism” there was more tactful ways to go about it that would have taken your feelings into account. He is your spouse and should know how insecure you are about your weight. You already stated that you’re working on yourself so you don’t need to hear from ANYONE about it. You had two children, our bodies change so much afterwards and it’s natural to gain weight! In case no one has told you, I am proud that you’re working on yourself for YOU and I see how hard it is but you’re doing a wonderful job. WEAR THE TOP and don’t listen to any of these fuckers trying to tear you down.
You are not overreacting,your hubby needs to understand that weight is a sensitive issue,make him aware that it cuts deep when he makes comments like that…going forward when choosing an outfit go for tops that flair up or that have rooching (pardon my spelling error) you can still look sexy and fabulous without wearing tight fitting clothing, just choose clothes that will hide all the places you do not fancy and highlight those that flatter your body
It was very inconsiderate of him to say that. Maybe he should let you go out every day for 2 to 3 hours to workout. See how much he likes talking about your weight then. Smh weight loss is hard and he should be more polite and see that u are trying.
He needs something bounced off his head. Iron skillet? He needs to encourage you to get healthy. Maybe go to the gym with you or long walks, instead of unkind, thoughtless statements.
With my first 2 kids I was pregnant back to back with my ex husband then I lost weight due of horrible depression and marriage I was going thru. So ten years later I married new husband. I have been pregnant since 2009-2015 back to back for while. First one I lost my first twin boys then 6 month later i got preg again then I lost my quadruplets girls at 15 weeks. then 6 month later I got pregnant again and gave birth to my son I was way overdue with him the doctor miscounted my due date at the end. Then I got pregnant again one year and half later with twins I lost them at 15 weeks. 6 month later I got pregnant again we thought it was twins again then I lost them at 17 weeks but my hcg was still high and dr found out that I’m still pregnant and found a baby hiding at 19 and half weeks said I have a baby boy on the way. He survived and lost 2 of his siblings which he was a triplet. So he made it thru the whole pregnancy like a charm and sweet simple pregnancy. After 18 months I miscarried 2 more. I told the dr I am done when I had my son. Dr forgot to info me that she only tied one side of my tube and couldn’t tied other side she couldn’t find it. I gained a lot weight from 150lbs to 300lbs. I have been stuck with my weight for 8 years due of my scars and veins and inside of me was damaged I had surgery so now losing weight slowly from 300lbs to 224lbs. My ex husband used to say to my face omg you are fat and becoming no good. He cheated on me behind my back. Now with my husband he never call me fat or say something to make me uncomfortable. He always said to me you are always beautiful and thank you for trying and having my babies I really appreciate you all the work you did for me and the family.
I gained 100lbs in a year from the nexplanon implant I took it out 2years ago and my body was so messed up im just now able to lose weight easily. Body’s take time to heal from the trauma we put them through. Maybe you’re husband can support you in your weight journey. Change his rudeness into encouragement. That being said If my boyfriend worded a comment like that towards me I’d probably send one right back
You are not overreacting. You have told him that you are sensitive on this topic. His comments make him insensitive and illustrate a focus on physical form that does not seem to match yours. Doesn’t really matter if he understands your perspective, he should honor your request for sensitivity.
That’s so messed up in so many ways joking or not coming. I’m a husband and would never say it or joke about it my goal is to give my wife confidence and to pick her up not put her down and I don’t care how skinny you are as a woman you always feel like ur over weight so that was not cool. I bet make a joke about his junk being small playing or not and then it’s not funny anymore. But joking goes both ways either joke or don’t.
My husband said that was a douche bag thing to say!
I’m really sorry he said that to you. Try to see from his perspective, maybe in his mind he was just telling you the shirt wasn’t flattering and that’s okay. We all know that certain materials get all in the rolls and others just drape over them. He might have actually been trying to save you from judgement of others. I’m not excusing the way he said it, it would have made me react exactly as you did. Just try to remember that men aren’t capable of understanding how things make us feel. I just know it took me a long time to understand that my husband loves me and is attracted to me. Unless your husband makes continuous comments or shows a lack of attraction, give him the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes men are just like bulls in a China shop.
At the end of the day, you’re doing the best you can and that’s all you can do - a man who loves you, loves you no matter what size you are. He loves your spirit. ((Hugs))
No comment on what he said, just wanting to support your weight-loss efforts. This group has personally helped me so muchWeight Loss Support For Women we’re all nice & very supportive. Great job on your weight-loss!!
The question is are you content with yourself. Alot of us womens bodys change with children. He need to know comments like that hurt.
Do not beat yourself up over this - - - this happens many times to many people. I have a feeling that you are so busy taking care of your kids and your husband that you have no time now for yourself - - - find time!!! Give more responsibility of your kids to your husband and don’t feel guilty about it!! Schedule workouts and watch what you eat. You can do this and you’ll love yourself so much more when you see the results!!! YOU ARE SPECIAL!!!
Never ask a man how you look.I finf that theworst out of shape men with beer barrels for stomachs are the crudest and most critical of their wifes.They demand their wifes to be string beans but bear children work and do the household.You have 2 beautiful babies.Treasure them.Take your time to get to your old self and take it day to day.Do not depend too much on the compliments of your husband.Have self confidence and dress with an attitude that makes you look simply stunning.Loose tops with pretty trousers or jeans.Some jewellery to compliment your style.Flattering heels or diamante sneekers.A pretty scarf around your neck.Plump up your lips and pout a stunning colour lipstick.Put a striking colourvin your hair and spike your hair in a modern style.When you have a datenight again dress up and feel like a princess and flirterly walk past him.He will be stunned and maybe another baby is on the horizon.
You can loss weight, but he will always be a mean ungrateful @$$!!! You gave him kids he should be thankful …
Fck that tell him his dcks small anyways and take yourself out to eat in that outfit.
Ok I can understand not being happy with weight I’ve always yo-yoed. You are not alone many women have dealt with baby weight along with age weight, not enough you time weight… keep working on you and working towards healthy never give up.your husband what a chump. Also the idiots saying weight loss surgery wtf is wrong with you start showing sympathy and not quick unhealthy ideas. … you’re an idiot!
Girl. I am happy with my body, but if my guy says something that even remotely implies I don’t look good, it hurts my feelings. That was a completely inappropriate thing to say to someone and, if I hadn’t encountered so many men, I would be shocked that he would feel anything but sorry for it.
I hope he looks like a perfect model lol. Unless you told him to tell you if any of your clothes look bad on you.
If he was my husband ,he wouldn’t be allowed to touch me for a long long time. That’s just wrong on his part😥
It doesn’t sound like he regularly talks about your weight so part of me feels he may have been trying to be helpful in a way but could use a lot more tact in the future
I would be mortified to go out in public highlighting my fat for everyone to see
You are literally 2 full grown ass people. You’re lucky he doesn’t divorce your ass.
Honey I would be upset. My husband has never said anything bad about my weight and I gained alot. Shame in him maybe he should have two kids back to back
Look at all the fatasses tell you he’s wrong while all the healthy people tell you otherwise.
Punch him in the head when he cries laugh
My SO didn’t say “you need to lose weight” or “your fat rolls are showing” but he did suggest we go for walks more often or walk the mall. And eat more fruits and veggies. In my opinion that was his way of telling me that I could drop a few pounds. But In a nice way where we could do it with the whole family. I’ve gained 50 pounds since we’ve been together over the last 12 years. I was 130 My biggest was 184 And I’m only 4’9. I’m currently pregnant and actually lost 20 pounds. Ive been eating right and walking and cut out a lot of junk.
I’m so sorry and no your not over reacting ! they are your feelings and someone hurt them you can feel anyway you want this person is supposed to show you love and support … I hope you can work it out .
There are so so many other ways he could have told you the outfit didn’t look good! My heart hurts for you that he choose the words he did🥺
Hot green tea helps. Gum when craving something. Water. Hiking. Biking. Gym. What matters most is how you feel about yourself.
Every woman’s body reacts differently to child birth. My first 2 I bounced back with no effort. My 2nd 2 i gained 30 lbs total after my 5th I weighed 220 until my other health issues took over. Through it all my husband has been nothing but supportive telling me how beautiful I am even when I say I’m fat ( it actually makes him angry I feel so little about myself) we are not all meant to be little and hormones play a huge factor in the way women lose weight.
Chin up we are all beautiful, love the skin your in (something I have to remind myself at times) lose the weight for you not for some rude inconsiderate d-bag.
I’m in the same boat I’ve always been around 160 but after having my second I was 240 I started doing keto I am currently 172 after a year it takes time but having babies does alot to your body
What worked for me was a treadmill went from a size 18 to a ten kept it off but just have to commit to it then I didn’t have to watch everything I ate.
Most women would think that was a mean thing for him to say. I rather my husband tell me the truth even if it may hurt my feelings. With that said, maybe he could have said it in a different way but it probably would have hurt your feelings anyway.
It is possible for someone to tell you the truth and help motivate you too. Maybe ask him to help motivate you because it will help you on your weight loss journey. I personally rely on my husbands brutal honesty because I know other people won’t give it to me because it may “hurt my feelings “
Im 5’5" and Im at about 220 myself. Im diabetic and my weight constantly fluctuates. My hubs and I have a 4 year old daughter together, and he tells me everyday how beautiful I am…even when Im a train wreck.
He never should have said that to you… not in those words.
“Those pants make your d*ck look small.” But I’m petty.
If he doesn’t think you’re the most absolute beautiful creature he’s ever laid eyes on, he can kick rocks! Don’t let ANYONE ever tell you that you’re less than beautiful! Maybe he’ll be happier with his hand!
And we’ll never know if his pants are too tight.
Sounds like he was just being honest. It might have made you look bigger than you are and he was trying to be nice just went about it the wrong way
You have to understand, men are a little stupid LOL and they really don’t think before they speak. He is your husband, so his opinion does matter, But mostly it’s about how you feel about yourself. You need to feel happy, and comfortable. Work out and do it for you!
Girl you can lose the pounds but he can’t grow inches. You’re not over reacting.
Sorry, he doesn’t get it tell him about that spot on the ceiling you’re always looking at and thinking about cleaning when he’s on top.
Tell him you don’t wanna have sex anymore because he’ll see all your fat rolls, then go to the gym for a few hours and let him deal with the kids.
Eeash. What the hell is wrong with him. Marriages have their ups and downs. Each spouse has their ups and downs at different times. Support is huge!! I would have told him to fuck off and gotten into sweats and chilled. I’m not sure what the right advice in this situation is, but you are beautiful no matter what and props to you for starting to work on yourself💛
Men have absolutely no filter, but he definitely could’ve been nicer about it.
Sounds like an asshole. Is he Gods gift to women? I doubt it.
Girl my hubby does the same thing I hate it
Maybe an unpopular opinion, but he was probably just letting you know the top wasn’t flattering. I’m sure he loves you just the way you are.
He was very insensitive to ur feelings
Keep shinning never let anyone dim your glow .you sparkle on
I’m fat and have gained weight since being married……but…my husband has NEVER said anything negative about my body, weight, or the clothes I wear. He has even begged me to wear mini skirts which will never happen. I’m so sorry, I would be devastated too hun.
Your feelings are valid regardless of what your husband or anyone in this comment thread says.
Always a nicer way to word things… “You have other tops that look more flattering” Honesty always but in a kinder way…
He needs to be kicked in the balls.
He probably could have worded it better but it’s possible that he didn’t mean any harm. Did it upset you more because you have gained the weigh or because he said it. Keep striving to lose rut for your self esteem and health. Wishing you the best.
Incredibly insensitive and rude. There is honestly no excuse for such a comment. You have every right to be upset.
He should not have said that, it was very insensitive! I’m sorry he hurt you. If you would like take supplements for weightloss, they are wonderful, I’m down 50lbs! They help with alot of things! Feel free to inbox me!
Some people need to be taught. Teach him how you want to be treated. Accept nothing less.