My husband today told me that I was getting bigger which I already know and been struggling with. I had my third baby 3 months ago and don’t even want to worry about that rn. I shouldn’t get this defensive but idk why I can’t stop crying about it. When I change something about my self he never says you look good or compliments me so why did he have to bring this up. Just needed to vent because I currently feel embarrassed
Tell him you spent 9 months pregnant and to have a mindset like that is very immature and hurtful. Tell him you don’t make comments on his body changes.
I feel you with this one. He never said anything but never compliemented me when I had my efforts.
Yikes. I just had a baby a few months ago and my husband would definitely not bring up my weight. Super insensitive. You grew a person!!!
From my perspective in life…THROW THE WHOLE MAN OUT!!!
Hes not conciderate of your feelings. Thats rude. His love is contingent upon what you weigh… He has flaws and im visious so i would have called him out on something that would have kept him upset like you are.
But that makes you inconsiderant like him.
Tell him we’re to go your Beautiful ! God bless you.
The husband is the weight you need to lose
Tell him here for you
First off I’m sorry he said that…but you are beautiful and have to give urself credit…it’s more unattractive the fact that he doesn’t realize that ur still PP and is very insensitive to your feelings…he shld educate himself on changes of the female body after birth…especially PP! Sending Hugs
You literally had a baby 3months ago. Id tell him to grow up tbh
I’m sorry that is very insensitive of him, and honestly kinda rude. I’m in the same boat, but also opposite. I just had a baby 3 months ago and am not losing the weight like I did with my first. Any time I say something negative about my weight the first thing my boyfriend says is “you just had a baby, it’s okay, it takes time” and makes me feel better. Don’t be embarrassed, mama. You just carried your beautiful child and are still recovering from that and adjusting to life with a newborn. That alone makes you beautiful inside and out!
Very insensitive. You just had a baby and your emotions are everywhere on top of that. Sit him down and explain how that made you feel. Of course it hurt your feelings. The baby weight is not going to just immediately drop off.
I would have said yea you are looking that great either. You are still healing and dealing with hormones too. The best thing to do is say since I am getting bigger watch the kids going to the gym if he says no. Leave him with the kids for 1 day maybe even 2. He will appreciate you more I garuntee
Is he the same weight if not I would have said yeah so have you…but I had 3 kids whats your excuse?
You need to seat down with him and have a GOOD talk.
He clearly doesn’t care what you are dealing with physically and emotionally. A real man would not bring that up, he would be supporting you 100% .
My baby is 10 months I have been excessively breastfeeding her, and just now in the last 2 months have lost 30 pounds (back to pre-baby weight). I’m still thick in the thighs and honestly need to get another 40 off to be at my goal, but my husband has never once made any comment about my weight ever. If anything when I would comment about my insecurity he would try everything he could to uplift me. Now, that I got the 30 pounds off he has made comments about how good I look, but he doesn’t want me to get to skinny. He wants me to feel good about myself cause when I do it radiates back on him and in our personal life. I’m sorry, but if he is gonna be that shallow then it’s time you start picking out his imperfections to see how it feels. And honestly, a man wouldn’t ever make his woman feel that way to begin with especially if they sacrificed their body for their child.
You just had a baby, maybe ask him if he wants to do some low stress exercise with you or you guys can go walking eith the kids after dinner. Make a compromise, but you are valid in feeling hurt
Next time he tells you you’re’re getting bigger, just say , well one of us had to.
You grew an entire human and birthed it from your body 3 MONTHS AGO…… he needs to talk to someone…
No you need to let him know he hurt your feelings and self esteem and that you would not say that to me and after having a baby he was very insensitive to your feelings believe me men don’t think like that and you can’t expect him to understand unless you communicate to him. And him watch the kids while you start doing you time to make your self feel better about you. Once a week and he will see it’s not that easy taking care of kid’s husband and keeping up with your self. Good luck communication is key👍
I would just say to him; “I just had a baby, what’s your excuse?” I would also make it clear to him that it is not acceptable for him to be commenting on your weight and if that is the most important thing to him, to hit the road, bye Felicia
Sending you hugs
Depends how he went about it but if your husband can’t mention it then who can
Some men truly don’t understand why some things affect women. I had to explain to my boyfriend why certain words and things he’d say are offensive and seem passive. He has gotten a lot better since. My boyfriend also didn’t say anything when I’d change something about my appearance. It was another thing I had to explain to him. I told him that I needed more reassurance that you’re not bored with me and that it is important to me that you notice things different about me and not comment on my weight at all. Told him there are some things that you just cannot say to women. i explained that we think differently than men and that he needs to accommodate that as part of the 2 way street of a relationship.
this issue with men stems from childhood meaning he wasn’t taught the seriousness of saying things like that and how it affects women. I came to that conclusion when i literally had to teach my boyfriend how to talk to me, his girlfriend.either that or he just got too comfortable. i’d definitely talk to him about it.
He’s a jerk for saying that but what I’m concerned about is how upset you are with your appearance but then saying “I don’t even want to worry about that rn”. I’m not saying go on a crazy diet or join a gym but don’t avoid it altogether because then you might find yourself deeply unhappy with your appearance. Small changes can make a big difference over time. Maybe you can take the baby for a walk some afternoons or maybe there’s a place that makes your favorite salad that you could make a point to grab once in a while for lunch. You said you were struggling with it and then said you were avoiding it and I just don’t think that’s healthy. Take care of yourself
Pick his appearance apart
I’m so sorry. Horribly mean. No one should insult your physical body. I don’t know the condition of your relationship. I am 67. I live with a man who is 95% really good. That other 5% is NOT good. We have to measure and make choices. I know I want to be with him. Our life is better together. So for that 5%, I keep my mouth shut until the tantrum subsides. Plus have wine. Good luck to you.
He’s treating you like a brood mare that he wants to get back out on the racetrack, tell him where to go and also next time he feels the jungle drums you send him down the self checkout aisle
I am so sorry. I hope he learns some manners.
Ignore him …he don’t know what us ladies go trough after child birth…say it back to him… lol …
That is, at best, RUDE AF.
He’s impregnated you, you grew, delivered, & are mothering his children. He can stick his criticism up his backside, so they can keep his head company.
That’s a mean spirited ittyShay thing to say.
You can let him know that overweight people don’t need to be reminded, they’re well aware.
Let him also know that your health is a priority and you’re still postpartum and not currently accepting criticism.
And I’d keep an eye on that “not commenting on appearance unless it’s negative”… that trends towards abuse real quick.
I’m sorry but he’s a jerk. You just had your third child. Your body & mind need to heel. I was a hot mess after my third & it took me awhile.
I’m sorry but that’s a pos in my eyes. I hate how people seem to think how women should. Maybe if things were portrayed more realistically other than how males view us we wouldn’t have to ask these questions we are not airbrushed plastic Barbie dolls.
Hormones! Get your self confidence back, you don’t need his approval you need your approval! You probably need a break and some rest!
3 months after having his child… he’s disgusting. I’m sorry
Next time he tells you have gotten bigger. Tell him he hasn’t gotten any bigger in his pants. Bet he will shut up real quick. I bet you look fine you just had a baby 3 months ago. It is impossible to bounce back that quickly. Your body just went thru serious trauma. Tell him to kick rocks.
THREE MONTHS AGO
that’s all I’ll say.
Piece of absolute he is.
I think it’s awful to comment on a woman’s body period but especially 3 months after they have a baby. That’s just my opinion though. Your right that it should be the last thing you should have to worry about right now. It takes a long 9 months for your body to do the work and gain the weight. It’s not going to come off overnight and that’s ok. I was huge for a few months after having my daughter.
Fudk that. Men notoriously age worse than women. He’ll get his karma
I am the type of petty person that would wait for an intimate moment and be like “hmmm u feel smaller down there”
So often we let people say something that we never should have.
And walk away with hurt feelings.
So now you have had a chance to think about it. You should have a honest discussion about how he made you feel.
No relationship is going to grow and work out for the long haul unless you can both support each other.
3 children you have grown in your body. That is a very hard thing to do.
And now you are working at trying to keep you all alive.
So sorry you had to feel like you aren’t enough.
Not a good sign for things to come . He is not going to make you feel beautiful . You are a woman that just had a baby and your body needs that extra so you can do all your baby needs you to do. It’s sad that he can only be hurtful.
He’s an ahole and hates himself. People that love themselves don’t go around making others feel bad. Period.
Is he in shape? Probably not.
You’re right. Don’t worry about your weight right now. You have a new baby to care for that thinks you’re perfect in every way. I bet your other children do too.
Weight comes and goes, but a beautiful heart is what people will remember.
I’m sorry but,he’s a POS.Thats so very insensitive.Your body is healing from just having a baby 3 months ago.
Just show him these comments, he’s an ASS
Was it said in a nice way? Or a mean way. I mean you could this opportunity to go for walls together or maybe use him as a support person. I know you have been struggling but give yourself some grace, you brought what 3 beautiful babies into this world? I mean momma! You did good
I am so sorry mama. That is GROSS! You have given him his children and he should compliment you every change he gets, in every stage of life!
Tell him to kiss your ass. Let him have babies. Don’t let no man treat you like that. He would have gotten a good cussing from me. Sorry pretty sure he isn’t perfect.
you gave him a fucking baby. you made an entire human being. he deserves his balls thrown into a river.
That’s super insensitive. I’d probably cry if my husband said anything like this and maybe punch him in the nose.
3 months post birthing is a great criminal defense.
3 months after baby? I don’t care how the words came out they should of never come out his mouth.
Ugh I’m so sorry. I have no idea why they do this. Literally about 15 mins after giving birth, my ex bf said “why do you still look fat and pregnant if the baby is out”. It’s so shitty and hurtful.
Probably not the exact thing you’d want to hear…
Talk to him you need open communication (and that goes both ways where you say how you feel and vise versa always taken with a grain of salt. It’s not always going to be pretty and roses this is why marriage is a work in progress.) Explain how his words made you feel and that right now in the meantime you’re energy is going to new baby with exercise on back burner for the immediate future until your body has had a chance to heal properly. Maybe even ask him to help you exercise together without him pushing or continuing to shame or criticizing your efforts that you do make in the process of exercising out together. You need to voice that if he were to help you exercise you want his support not criticism to help you set and meet goals together, again that goes both ways don’t criticize him for not making much progress as well. Men tend to gain weight too when wife is pg unless they’re very blessed in thier gene pool lol.
Start telling him he’s getting fat he’s getting ugly he’s really let himself go uve had children whats his excuse turn the tables xx
Ew. You just had a baby-and not only that-you’ve given birth two times prior to this. The fact that he would not only say something insensitive, but also have the nerve to say it THREE months post-partum, is gross. You should tell him that you agree you should lose some extra weight, hand him divorce papers, and tell him you found a way to lose 100+ quickly.
Anyone commenting about someones body/weight like that is very immature to me. Arent we grown up enough to stop those comments? Its childish and a low ball.gross
You have just had you 3rd baby 3 months ago!! Give yourself some grace and tell hubs to shut the heck up! Your body has even recovered fully yet from giving birth to and actual human!! I’m so mad for you and your husbands thoughtless comments. Does he want you pointing out every little thing about him???
I think that it is rude and insensitive. U hv had 3 children let alone just 3 months ago. I’m sure he ain’t all that and a box of chocolates. Hving children does a lot to our bodies. I would ignore him and his rude comoments. Next time he says something I would say " I wish u were able to get me off like before, maybe u need some viagra or something? U think there may be something going on and that’s why ur not performing as well? Maybe u should make a dr appointment".
3 months!? It takes 3 to 5 YEARS for your body to heal after EACH child. I would be livid.
My husband is exactly like that, I can do anything even clean the house as he sits and doesn’t do crap nothing is appreciated I’m to big yet I’m 6 months pregnant and don’t even look it nothing I do is enough for him
I’d tell him you just had a baby and bodies change. Not everyone is gonna stay the exact same size forever
Just tell him you wish something of his would get bigger! Betcha he’d think twice about saying something else so ignorant
I’d say and your dick is getting smaller
My ex was the exact same way. Constantly body shamed me for being too thin and when I gained weight with our daughter, he body shamed me then too. After I had her, it just got worse and worse. Didn’t matter if I was 160lbs or 95lbs.
It wasn’t until after I left him that I realized he was just insecure about himself. Tearing me down made him feel better about himself.
Take a screen shot of this post and send it to him.
It takes time to get back to pre baby shape. Your emotions are very evident at this time. He just needs to be patient.
I’m mother of 5 having been struggling with the weight thing
But I learned to live myself and not worry about it
I have lost alot of weight from stress and issues
I became a stay at home grandma for our household
Cause the cost daycare and he can be difficult and we just didn’t wanna run into issues
So it work for household
My husband is the same way alot of times
I’m just now starting to announce how it makes me feel
I’m not pushing or being pushy I say my piece and let it go
It’s his choice to change it or not
I’m 47 going on 48 and I have some really bad choices in my life and that’s on me not their place to fix it or clean up
Give your body time to heal and adjust
Then if your not losing the weight like you feel you should
Talk to doctor and talk cause they’re can be many reasons why the weight not bouncing off like might have in the past
Our bodies are constantly changing and especially after carrying another human in our body
Be kind to to
Listen and talk to a doctor
Start communicating if he just doesn’t want to hear it
Then it’s time to have that conversation he’s probably stressed just as much and he maybe going through something himself
Just let him know hey I’m here but don’t let it become a punching bag match
If you have family talk to them and see if they wouldn’t mind coming over a sitting for few hours so you and hubby can have a date night
If that means go for walk or hike and dinner movie maybe some dancing
Cause as we getting older we grow to and if you guys aren’t taking the time for each other
You guys no longer no each other
So talk laugh cry yell but do it together cause if not you guys will wake up and not like the person you’ve become or the person next to you will be a stranger all over again
Marriage is about unity team work
If you guys can’t get that or work for that
Then it’s more likely gonna in a ugly divorce
I’m going by what I learned in and open my eyes finally see what I would blind myself too
Momma love yourself be generous to your self and if he loves you and you both really wanna make this work it will work
But take time for yourself
He’s a jerk. Tell him if it’s such a problem he can pay for your gym membership and watch all the kids everyday while you work out.
It’s so easy for men to say it when they are not the ones having to go through the pregnancy and birth. Their bodies don’t change like women’s bodies do. He sounds very selfish. Tell him to look after the children so you can have some time to pamper yourself and focus on yourself too.
You just had a baby. Sorry but he is an a hole. Tell him his looks like it shrunk and his are looking extra shriveled lately. Tell them his undercarriage doesn’t look like it’s aging well.
Quit crying, go get you some skimpy clothes to wear in public, what does he look, fit, trim, does he work out…
3 months?! Girl you barely not pregnant!!! That’s rude as fuck.
What an asshole. You’re literally still healing. Is he stepping up so you can focus on your own health physically and mentally?
Just saying these are the same hypocritical men who want to talk about women’s bodies
Ew this is gross behavior!!! I’d love for a man to even carry a child in his body for ONE month! He would quit so damn fast. This is not man behavior this is boy behavior. I’m so sorry he said that too you. You brought life into this world what did he do? Sit there with a gross dangling nutsack and a big mouth that needs to stay shut
Id tell him his is shrinking with age and his are starting to sag. What an ass.
You just had a baby. Your body is still healing. Stfu and gtfo.
You just had a baby ffs what a prick
I would straight up be like too bad your dick isn’t getting any bigger
If he truly left loves you, weight shouldn’t matter, plus you have children! Tell him to try and have one and not Gain weight. I hate men like this. Honey if you think you can do better, by by loser. These type of men make me sick! Does he think if you don’t look like a Barbie doll his friends will talk about him? He sounds insecure and weak to me! Is he perfect??? F him
your husband’s a tool. If he can’t appreciate the fact you gave birth your AND HIS child only 3 MONTHS ago, and appreciate you as his wife, then he’s most likely an insecure little tool. tell him I said so too … ugh stupid menz
You are beautiful. It takes time and doesn’t happen over night. But you can do it.
I would tell him you know how you can lose 200 lbs really fast (or whatever he weighs). I can promise you plenty of people will love you and find you beautiful & fabulous exactly how you are!!!
Well, he must be all that and more to judge others to the point of tears! Just love yourself, I’m sure you’re beautiful in and out, hugs❤️
I’m a lil different… I was mad when my friends didn’t tell me I was getting big. I feel like I was oblivious to the weight gain. I kept telling them…you could have pulled me to the side and asked what was going on. Now I am struggling with about 50 lbs
Don’t feel embarrassed mama, you still have some baby wait on you. You work on any weight you want to lose when you get ready. Take good care of yourself and your baby for right now. Let your husband know how you feel about what he said.
Tell him he should lose some weight by holding his breath until he can’t anymore. Our bodies change with every child as with age. And that’s okay!!! Don’t let him bring you down just get rid of him and find someone who loves you the way you are. Because if he can only say negative things but nothing positive there’s no reason to have him around anyways
So let me ask you this… if it would have been anyone other than your husband, would you still be hurt. Yes, he’s your husband but he’s human. And sounds honest.
I have had many women comment on my after pregnancy weight gain. But never a man. It shouldn’t be a double standard.
This is why women end up on the ID channel.
I think I’d just be like, “You’re right. Having our 3rd child did make me gain some weight. Here: (hand him the baby, grab his wallet, take out some cash), you’re going to have to watch the kids. I’m going to the gym. Can’t have all this extra weight only 3 months after having a child!” Then proceed to walk out the door and leave. Go get some ice cream, Chinese, whatever, and maybe do check out a gym. Not for him, but for you. Make him take care of the kids a few hours a day, and you go have your time. The gym or yoga classes aren’t the worst thing. It gives you time away to just breathe and do something that makes yourself feel better. And don’t forget to make little comments about his shortcomings. Man, that Grey is really coming in… when are you going to shave. Wow, I can’t believe you can eat that much. Just enough to prove a point that little comments can be hurtful. Or, if he’s a decent guy, just talk to him. Tell him how much that comment hurt you. Maybe he didn’t realize or mean it to have such an impact
I’d tell him his is getting smaller. But don’t listen to me I’m toxic.
You literally grew a human for 9 months and pushed them out 3 months ago. Throw the man away if this is y’all third baby and he never took the time to learn about the postpartum period. Snap back culture can be dangerous and unrealistic.
Omg boo hoo, least he said something. And you didn’t say how. By the way I had 3 kids so don’t come at me. But yeah we tend to get busy with kids and forget ourselves. So 3 days a week hand him the kids and go to the gym!! One you will feel great! Two you will look great! Three your confidence will grow. Four every mom needs a mental break! Five dad will have time to bond! Don’t be hurt maybe he just felt secure enough to talk to you? We can get sensitive to weight comments, usually cause they realize something we already noticed ourselves. Go do you
Tell him his penis isn’t getting bigger😝
I just found this out for anyone who may need to know. Insurance companies may help with gym memberships just call and ask
Even had you not just had a baby, it is mean to say something like this.
Tell him instead of being negative towards you to help support you look and feel better
Is your husband the same size he’s always been??
Has he pushed out 3 kids?
Though he probably did not intend to hurt you , he really didn’t need to point that out.
Talk to him about it.
Tell him how it made you feel.
Men are not mind readers.
Not everyone thinks before they speak.
Big hugs Mama.