My husband is weirded out by sex because I'm pregnant

A lot of men feel this way during pregnancy. I wouldn’t be angry with him, his feelings are valid. If the roles were reversed I don’t think you’d feel the same way.
If your sex drive is increasingly high there are other ways to relieve yourself.


He’s uncomfortable and being honest, so it should be respected. If it was a woman saying she was uncomfortable it would be the same. Many men don’t like having swx with their partners while they’re pregnant. I personally didn’t have that problem, but if I did I would’ve bought a toy. I have a very high sex drive.


Y’all are wild. He’s not immature or ridiculous, he’s expressing his feelings, just because you don’t agree with his concerns, doesn’t make them wrong. You respect his boundaries and try, respectfully to come to a solution that works for everyone.


Definitely immature and he is completely missing out on some great sex.


Teach him the basics of where the baby is located and that sex doesn’t effect the baby at all. A lot of men actually don’t know and they they will be doing something bad to the child.


My husband was the same way. Recommend that he do research, and maybe send a few articles his way. Tell him it’s okay to feel that way, and respect his decision, but set boundaries of ways you can still both be sexually satisfied through the upcoming months if sex is off the table.


Give him some time and respect his choice. My guy was a bit weirded out at first but after our “first time” during pregnancy and being the one easing him into things this time around (lmfao) he totally got over it. I think most men are just weirded out by it in general and needs their partner to understand that just as we expect them to understand when we aren’t feeling up for it too

My fiance did the same thing when I got pregnant with our first. I giggled a little (my 3rd, his 1st) and calmly explained to him that he was not hurting the baby in any way. That he doesnt go anywhere near the baby and that it is perfectly safe to have sex. I honestly believe it is common with guys who don’t get the whole anatomy of pregnancy. Just talk to him, hopefully he comes around. Hugs!!

I guess you won’t be having sex for a few years then. Ask him if he’s going to be understanding after birth when you don’t want sex because of birth, and exhaustion from being with the baby all the time.

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My man is the same way. But he is afraid he might accidentally hurt me or the baby. :woman_facepalming:
But it took us looking into it together to finally get over it. But now the baby is moving. And you can clearly see my stomach move now.
And we are back at where we started :joy:
He says it feels wrong. That it’s like doing it next to your kid.
But if he doesn’t want to, I’m not gonna force him. It’s his right to say no. Plus there are other ways to get the pleasure you want without making your partner feel uncomfortable.

Remember that both people in the relationship deserve to be respected. Would you rather he feel uncomfortable telling you, and try to force it, and have awkward bad sex? He spoke up and let you know how he felt. Remember to respect him, just as you would want him to do if you ever felt uncomfortable and spoke up to let him know why. Your opinion that it is immature or silly, does not make how he feels invalid or unworthy of being respected.

Hmm… is there more back story?! Were there problems conceiving?! Was there ever a loss?!
Maybe he is also being cautious! I have never heard anyone feel this way, some may think its ridiculous but if thats the way he feels then at least he told you and you do have to be worried about it
Plus there’s NO way he can stick it out for 20+ weeks :joy::rofl::joy::rofl:

My husband was weird about it 2. He seriously thought he was going to hurt the baby. But my gyno talked to him and explained it to him that he wouldn’t. She even showed him on a picture and that seemed to put him at ease a little bit. Things got better after the dr talked to him.

I’m in the same boat but tbh when I didn’t want to be touched w/our other baby he respected my boundaries and although i was upset about it this time around I just got over it and thought it through that I want to respect his boundaries as well.

My SO starting being like that way when I was 3 months pregnant we only had sex after that about once I month until I was 8 months plus 6 weeks after I had our daughter than I couldn’t get off me …like he was making up from lost time…some guys are just that way if your down do for play and always keeps your hands on him …good luck.

Find nice calm research in it, show him it doesnt hurt baby hell take him with you to an appointment and bring it up nicely do not however bring up his feeling aand undermine him that would make it worse instead ask about positives of sex in pregnancy and let them reassure him its okay. Start slow and build up to full sex. Use a toy in the meantime to release your own sexual tension but please ask him first because he may not be comfortable with you using them and then he may want to help get you off but just minus the penis until hes ready.

I was like that my first pregnancy…so other way around I thought my baby was gonna get poked or my baby seeing his🍆 but my last 3 pregnancies it was the best tell him it’s ok and to do research so he knows it’s ok

My husband was also a bit weirded out too. Once I gave him research and told him/reassured him there’s no way he was going to hurt the baby…
I had had be the “aggressor” and initiate intimacy the first time after he said he was weirded out about it… once he realized how crazy my sex drive was and by me initiating it, it turned him on and after he was down for whatever…
Just a few ideas here…
good luck mama!

My husband was like this during our first pregnancy, but once i really explained to him that he couldn’t hurt they baby. And the baby couldn’t feel anything, he relaxed a little bit. I think ot was a weird concept for him to get. But now with our second pregnancy he doesn’t care at all.

Tbh a lot of men feel this way. My husband got spooked when we could feel the baby moving and at that point I get it. Sometimes men are also scared they will hurt you or the baby. Be patient and maybe there are other ways you can be intimate that work for both if you get what I’m saying… the fun part will be finding out!

It’s not that uncommon for men to feel that way. Ask him to go to your next ob appointment and talk to the doctor about it. That should make him feel more comfortable about it. Don’t try to force or guilt trip him. Just try to see if there’s a way to make him feel more comfortable with it.

Just went through this with my boyfriend. Our first baby together he felt like your husband did, this go around we had a lot of sex in he beginning before my belly got big but that first pregnancy together was rough. I felt undesired and like he wasn’t attracted to me when really he was just scared to poke the baby. I tried telling him over and over that sex while pregnant was perfectly safe but until an actual doctor told him he was fully against it. As long as your pregnancy hasn’t been classified as high risk and your doctor hasn’t expressed concerns about your pregnancy, it’s 100% safe.

We as woman can’t get mad at men for not wanting to have sex. Is complaining about it sometimes sounds pushy and we don’t like when our spouses get mad if we aren’t in the mood. I do agree it’s weird to be weirded out but it’s also understandable.

The baby isn’t in the vagina. He needs an appointment with the Obgyn and a few YouTube videos to see how this works.

If that doesn’t help I agree with the others, do it yourself!

If he thinks he’s gunna pike the baby or that the baby will feel it I assure you he’s wrong. Sex during pregnancy is actually healthy and can help efface the cervix in the end of pregnancy which can help make labor easier

He might be thinking he will hurt the baby or u and not understand that he can’t hurt the baby or u and that everything will be OK if u need to call the doctor they can talk to him to rest his mind that it’s all fine

My boyfriend was like this. He felt better about it after trying it a couple times and talking to the doctor. He was afraid he would “poke the baby in the head” :rofl: he was then fine up until around 8 months when I started getting bigger, lol. Pick your battles and be glad he talked to you about it instead of just dealing with it on his own. It’s an emotional time for him too :slightly_smiling_face:

So this was me during my pregnancy with my daughter… I was turned on all the time… the first trimester we couldn’t have sex because of previous losses and spotting… then the second trimester we had sex 2 times and then he told me he’s scared for us to have sex and hurt the baby so we didn’t the rest of my pregnancy :woman_facepalming:

Looks like a lot of ladies would be happy if their partners didn’t touch them for a year :face_with_raised_eyebrow::woman_shrugging: Definitely not me :no_good_woman: In a relationship, most people want to feel loved, desired and be intimate with each other regularly - that includes sex. Not just once a year either :roll_eyes:
I would bring the issue up again - asap! Reassure him that his dick can’t and won’t hurt the baby & reiterate how high your sex drive is

It’s actually quite common for this to happen! At least he was honest with you!

Suggest doing other things, fooling around and see if that will help get him more comfortable.

It is frustrating. Just make sure you are respecting him and his feelings. Communicate and compromise! Validate one another.

Yes this happened to me, and my sex drive was huge. He also felt weird and one day I told him he has to get over it. Once he let it go he said it was different but great,

Honestly, my sex drive increased also. Once baby started showing and moving, sex was kept at a minimum. My hubby was grossed out too. He said he worried about getting kicked. And if baby did move during sex and he felt it, we were done. Men are allowed the right to consent also. They’re also allowed to have preferences. :woman_shrugging:

No. He’s not being immature. He’s telling you he isn’t comfortable with something, and you have to respect that… I’m sure if you were to tell him something you were uncomfortable with in the bedroom, he’d respect that. If the tables were turned and a man expressed frustration over not getting sex from his wife because she’s uncomfortable with something, that man would be raked across the coals.
It goes both ways. I recently had a baby and went through a brief period of an increased sex drive, but my husband felt the same. So I respected that and we went a couple months without. Now, we’re back to our regular program. He’s telling you his boundaries. You have no right to be angry about it. Just like if it was the other way around.

Have your OB talk to him, my husband knew nothing about pregnancy or babies in general, I had 3 kids before meeting him and I explained it all to him, I handed him several books also, I had my OB confirm what I said was true, he then was relieved, he thought it would hurt the baby :woman_facepalming: around week 37 for me, it was painful for me so we had to stop, baby was extremely low and my cervix was super sensitive. He just needs a little clarification from a professional that it’s okay! Your needs need met also, all these people saying you’re wrong and its not fair are nuts!! So are you supposed to toss out your needs and accept it? Not how it works!! You are important too!

It’s not immature at all… he’s concerned about the baby… my husband was the same way when I was pregnant with our first… he’s already being a dad it’s a good thing.

No, he’s not in the wrong. Its understandable considering he can’t fully understand the concept of pregnancy like us women can. So just try to be patient with him, get you a toy in the meantime, and just respect his sexual boundary. And yes, maybe try talking to your doctor about it and see if they can explain things better for him. The rolls are reversed with my husband… His drive is always sky high, and mine usually decreases when I’m pregnant. It get frustrating at times, but he’s patient with me and doesn’t try to overstep boundaries. Your husband would want the same from you.

My partner was the same it was too weird for him because he said he could feel the baby that was at 22 weeks he didn’t want to do it till the baby was born.

My husband wouldn’t have sex with me while pregnant unless he was drunk and I led him on and he forgot his rule lol…… in his defense I was high risk and we had a loss so he was terrified. Find out if he has other unaddressed concerns. You never know what someone he knows has gone thru and it could be a legitimate fear of his. We did lots of other stuff but the idea he could cause any trauma was not something he could accept

Im with your husband it creeps me out my husband and i have been married 9 years, had 5 babies and i still dont like thr thought of sex during pregnancy… But sometimes hormones take over hahaha… But try and be understanding with him you should feel honoured thatbhe has shared this with you, i think your being a bit harsh personally why dont you try and make him feel comfortable about it or, see what he feels comfortable doing to you? Or just take your frustration out in him treating him

Sounds like Dad needs to go with you to your next doctor visit. And let the do tor know beforehand about dads fears. If he hears it from the doc then he may feel a little better that he won’t give Jr. A black eye so to speak. But be open. At least he is being honest with you. Good luck.

My husband was the same with our 1st. I remember him saying he didn’t want to hurt the baby lol… even though the baby is completely closed off by the cervix from the vagina. Find out specifically why and go from there :sweat_smile::sweat_smile:

I kinda had the same issues with mine so the next time we had an appointment to the obgyn she explained things. He was fine.

Honestly it’s a valid reason. My sex drive VANISHED during my pregnancy with my son, and my man respected it.

Omg my husband went thru this once I got further along. We didn’t have sex from like 5 months on. Actually we didn’t have sex until the baby was 6 months (it was uncomfortable for me when we tried) the baby kicked him when we were having sex and his hand was on my belly so he freaked lol

If the lack of sex is bothering you to the point it is interfering with the relationship then talk to him about it. Tell him that your really craving sexual activity and you understand that he isn’t comfortable with doing that right now so would he mind if you used a toy to satisfy that itch and keep you from taking the lack of sexual activity out on him. He probably won’t mind and will more than likely pleasure himself in the shower or elsewhere and this satisfies both of you without discomfort or fighting. He can’t change how it makes him feel so just try to understand and find a way to work though it together. :tipping_hand_woman::100::ok_hand:t2:

I would, if I were you, sit down with the doctor and your husband and go over all of the information so that he understands that it’s perfectly safe. Then if he doesn’t want to have relations even after that, I would buy the worlds best battery operated boyfriend that I could find. Why should you have to suffer?

Ive herd this so many times and even my hubby tbe first time i was pregant was werides out by it i asked him why and he ssid its cause hes afraid of pokinh baby in the head the ob talked to him that its normal alpt of men feel that way. But its accluy a good thing to hace sex ashile pregant and he cant poke baby in the head cervix os clpsed with mucus and he shouldnt be able to go up that way anyways.

My husband was a little weirded out at first too when I was pregnant with my daughter, he talked to the doctor and all was fine :slightly_smiling_face:

He’s not acting immature. Flip the roles and think of how you’d feel if he acted this way because you said you were uncomfortable for whatever reason. You can try having your doctor explain to him, the baby can’t feel/hear/see anything and he’s not near the baby. However if that doesn’t stop, then stop pressuring him. He doesn’t have to have sex if he doesn’t want to. If he was doing this to you, people would say it’s abusive.

Well, I guess he’s either afraid to hurt the baby, which is not really a problem if it is a normal pregnancy and there are positions which are even in last weeks no problem, or, he is really acting a bit teenage mode…

In my experience it is pretty normal that woman feel more attractive and in need of sex when pregnant (at least as long as the belly is not yet a big problem) but at least tenderness and all the sweet ways of having sex should never stop.

This guy needs to suck it up and take care of his wife. I can understand unknowing but someone needs to teach him its ok. You both created this child and neither should be wierded out by it. Sex while pregnant is essential for her and to make things easier down the road. " what to expect when expecting " is a great book make him read it asap. Being pregnant made my wife extremely horny and it was great honestly. Of course there’s times when she didn’t want to look at me much less touch me. Especially when she starts gaining weight. Suck it up be a man!

My Husband wants it 10x more now that I’m pregnant lol it’s actually common the way your husband is feeling have him talk to your ob about concerns

My ex husband was the same way. Some men just have a difficult time with it. He’s at least communicating with you. There’s other things you can do if this is something that is a boundary for him and as his wife, you have to be supportive of that boundary and not force it on him or use it against him. It’s quite normal

My ex told me he wasn’t attracted to me because I was pregnant… I would have rathered him say it was weird. I know it’s frustrating because your sex drive is high but look at it like this… if you’re not feeling up to it, does he force you into sex? (If so thats a whoooole other convo) or does he respect your wishes? May seem silly but a lot of guys (my twins dad/ current bf) said the same… it was weird… cause they think they’ll poke/hurt the baby…

If you’re that frustrated, keep communication lines open, express yourself as well and get a sex toy to help you out in the meantime. Just nothing that vibrates after penetration. Just let him know he can’t get mad or feel he’s being replaced because of he isn’t going to help you release, at least it’s not another person you’re going to. (No I’m not saying cheating is ok)

Girl whip out your fav toy , please yourself laying next to him. He will either get turned on or move to the couch so you have more space :woman_shrugging:t2: I’m just saying.

Girl tell him if he dont wanna hit it then lets shop for some toys and get it on for yourself… or hell maybe he would be into it with you… sometimes it’s the actual intercourse that’s the problem but leaves the door open for some fun in a different light. :woman_shrugging:

My husband thought he would pop the amniotic sack and cause a miscarriage (we have been through to many). So we found other ways to be intimate without penetration.

Tbh, I’d be happy to know I didnt have a pedo husband. It was the opposite situation for me. I felt uncomfortable and he got frustrated.

Yes but eventually came around maybe educate him about sex when pregnant you wont hurt the baby

I have 3 kids. All 3 different dad’s. Every one of them told they found it awkward and uncomfortable for them. I got a vibrator and masturbated religiously on the daily ,:sweat_smile: don’t get mad at him or talk down on him for it he has the right and a perfectly good reason to feel the way he does. You have a tiny human growing in you I can see where that would make someone uncomfortable to have intercourse especially when they aren’t the ones with the raging hormones :wink: my last baby was the worst with it and I was in my room every chance I could be lmao just try to be nice to him and ask him if he might be comfortable doing any sexual things not necessarily intercourse… trust me I know it is NOT nearly as satisfying as sex but it’s my it fair to make him uncomfortable

Know the struggle but it was me who was creeped out; however, also was a nympho maniac. Lol. Get a toy. See if he is comfortable playing upstairs at least.

How tf did so many of you take a left turn on this?
Does NOBODY know how the female body works & why these cravings exist? Maybe both these individuals would benefit from learning cuz all of y’all need classes.

Y’all are explaining divorce process as a fucking solution?
She wants to get laid not separated.

Sexy tips that’ll make him forget about the belly would be better than these comments :roll_eyes:

Take him with to the doc appointment and bring it up so they can reassure him it’s ok. It’s actually good cause it keeps your muscles flexing which will make labor easier.

Yes it’s true … some men won’t have sex with a pregnant woman because they get scared they could hurt the mom or baby etc. you may have to find other ways to please each other for a while … I have not had sex for 2.5 years since my daughter is born
It is possible

My ex husband didn’t touch me once and it made me feel belittled and gross. It’s not ok it’s rude and selfish. Especially after having my child him doing that made me not want him for months.

This is normal. Get a toy and respect how he feels.

I feel like it’s pretty common…it freaked me out so I put everything on halt the whole time :joy::rofl:

So…all men are different but I guess they can go either way…mine was all over me it was to much at times lol

Yes, and youll have to readjust maybe your position… my husband was like this too. I think they just dont want anything to happen to the baby. One my husband didnt want to put pressure on my belly so missionary (him on top) was out. I think he was afraid of mashing the baby. And afraid it would squish out. Also because of where a baby comes out. . During sex theyre afraid of well poking the baby. I think you may need to take him with you the next time you go see your ob/gyn or baby doctor. And if your husband is anything like mine was hell get embarrassed really bad. But your doctor needs to explain that having sex this early in the pregnancy is safe. My ob/gyn did say to slow down or try to avoid sex once you got to your 7th month. Providing there hasnt been any bleeding or discomfort prior to this. Which our Daughter our oldest, my periods didnt disappear or stop until i was in my 7th month, which my doctor said it was unusual but wouldnt hurt anything. And then with our Son from early on i was spotting. Whìch my doctor had everything checked out. And i placenta/ afterbirth waa going to be possibly delivered first which would had been quite serious. Because thats what was spotting or bleeding. So sex everything like this was to completely stop at 5months pregnant. And he totally took me off my feet. Because of this i did have my son a month early but he wasnt premie size. He weighed 7lbs 10oz. And i can just imagine how big he had been if i hadnt went early. You need to have your doctor do a MRI test or CAT Scan… because my Daughter was 2 weeks early… and no complications that i was ever told. But shes now 40 yrs old and in the last year or so she found out and after a major scare that the doctor thought she may had lung cancer. And it really freaked us all out… and after extensive testing and a MRI she was told. One of her lungs where adult size anď the other is half or child sized. They couldnt determine if this was something she was born with or if the lung just stopped growing when she was a child. She did inherit asthma it runs in my side of family and shes known about this for many years… but no one knew about her different lung sizes. She fine and it hasnt effected her in anyway and was never an issue when she was a child either and she wasnt ever or noticed, being out of breathe… but when babies are born they didnt really look such things. She was also born with one pupil bigger than the other but its never effected her from seeing. She says now in that eye she cant see very well in the dark… and she does need glasses but everyone in our family wears glasses.
So you just need to go talk to your doctor and take your husband. And you have to become best of friends with your gynecologist and have your husband involved just as much. And just relax and enjoy your pregnancy…
My thoughts and memories… its most frustrating cuz this is a baby human growing inside of you. And its going to be the biggest surprise youll ever have. But whats worse is you cant pick at the tape like a Christmas present and get a sneak peek on what itll look like. And youll be flooded with all kinds of dreams… and that old wives tale about the more heart burn you may have means the baby will have more hair is bunk… i had terrible heart burn with both my children. And they only had a skift of hair barely enough to see when they were born. And both my babies were born what they called sunny side up… meaning they were looking up instead of down and its suppose to been more painful… but my mom was right labor is probably the worse pain a woman will ever go through. But the quickest to forget cuz you get the reward of your brand new baby. This was true… you forget all the pain but youll be healing afterwards but its not that bad. Just gotta take it easy afterwards for a couple weeks… but understand once youve had a baby you can get pregnant again very easily. They use to tell new mothers and fathers to wait having sex for 6-8 weeks after delivering a baby… my husband and i waited 5weeks… and the condom rolled off. And i didnt want another baby that close together. So they did a D and C. My doctor called it dusting and cleaning…and did ask if i were pregnant did i want it. I chose No. So tests were run, he did the dusting and cleaning and all was well and we were lucky we wasnt pregnant again. Also im sure other women have or will be telling you horror stories about labor and delivery… mine wasnt nearly as bad as i was told. What i think was the worse parts of labor was not taking the lamas classes and learning how to breathe through the labor paińs… and holding your breath did make it worse. And delivery well that felt like someone giving you an indian rub burn but in your private parts. And my doctors were quite aware i have low pain tolerance and i was given pain shots while i was in labor. And a nitrous gas (laughing gas) mask. Just like the dentist uses… my daughter they gave her the gas mask and an epidural and she laughed her way all the way through her labor and delivery. She tells her story and says everything about it was funnier than hell, and she couldnt stop laughing.
You really dont have anything to worry about… have fun and enjoy this…i loved being pregnant…and felt sad when it was all over with… but my babies nade me happy all over again… if youd like to chat about being pregnant PM me… i may be old now but ive got some wonderful memories of being pregnant and all that happened back in my day. You women these days dont even have to wait 24 hours after having a baby. In my day a normal birth without complications you were in the hospital for 5 days and depending on the complications you had to stay in the hospital for 7 days…or longer depending on the complications. A C-Section is a new ball of wax, i didnt have this procedure done. But my Sister did and she said that was pretty painful… and shed cough and she had to keep a pillow that shed push against her lower belly which helped with the pain every time shed cough sneeze…etc…

Don’t trust a young crack head looking girl whose relationship status is set to “its complicated”

My husband wasn’t as in to it when I was SUPER pregnant because every little thing caused random pain…But at 17 weeks I would’ve been like hell no not an option buddy :rofl:

Get a Womanizer toy, trust me. They are incredible

Whats funny is at 1st my husband didnt wanna have sex at the beginning because he said he was afraid of poking the baby’s head and hurting the baby but i told him the baby is protected

Get some toys and use them, don’t invite him, he might change his mind then.

Respect your husbands feelings.

Go buy you a dildo or vibrator and take care of yourself for the time being.

He will most likely get over it. Give it a bit. You could print out info and pictures but that might do more harm.

Take him to the ob with you and let him ask questions. If he isn’t comfortable asking have him give you the question and just be there for the answers.

Wait until he sees a baby come out.

Try doggy so he doesn’t get the baby bump reminder

Once my daughter was actively moving around it weirded us both out. :woman_shrugging:t3:

For the next session to the doctor take him with you and tell him to address any concerns related to physical intercourse to the doctor.:slightly_smiling_face:

I have never met a dude who doesn’t like pregnant cha cha

Mine was like that but toward the end when my belly was huge… “there’s a baby between us”

Respect his boundaries. Pushing him is rapey AF.

Idk I was weirded out by it to begin with. So many of y’all jumping down peoples throats. No wonder why so many post anonymously in here.

I was two weeks early thanks to my husband …we never stopped :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes::face_with_hand_over_mouth:

Because the baby might bite him :joy:

Respect his boundaries.

I think thats a first baby thing honestly lol

I mean once you get farther along actually doing that is basically impossible.

Meanwhile I’d be totally cool with that

You’re the one with a problem. He told you and now you’re like what am I supposed to do? You’re supposed to get a Moby. Just Google it. You seem to be that hard up.

There are other things you can do to each other…

Girl red flag :triangular_flag_on_post:… follow your instincts

Be patient, he will come around

Get him 3/4 the way there with a b/hj and lay there next to him nake.

He seems honest to me

Plenty of people feel this way.

So when a man expresses his feelings he’s being immature? :roll_eyes:

Better find you a real man :joy: