My husband is only agreeing to have a baby with me because I want one...advice?

My husband says he’s only gonna have another baby because it’s what I want but I feel like he will adjust and love that baby no matter what… he says he’s getting over whelmed but I feel like he’s excited. Am I wrong for not being happy with just one child?


I hope next time you’re run down and overwhelmed he hits you with the ‘no baby, you’re just excited!’ :rofl:

But seriously though. He’s communicating his feelings to you and you are not listening. You are clouded by your own wants. If you truly want him to be on board , give him time and address the things that are overwhelming him first


“He said he’s overwhelmed but I feel like he’s excited.”
That sentence makes no sense to me. How do you know how he feels?:broken_heart:
“An I wrong for not being happy with just one child?”
No one’s feelings are wrong. We each have different feelings.


I feel like there’s a big problem with him saying one thing and being honest with you, and you completely rejecting that and saying you think he feels the opposite way. He told you how he feels. It’s nice that he’s still willing to do it for you, but I would be careful about doing something like that when he’s already said he feels overwhelmed. If he’s overwhelmed with only one child, I doubt that he will handle it well. I understand wanting more than one, but this kind of thing really should be discussed in advance for this reason. Best of luck to you.


You should listen to what he is saying. If he is overwhelmed then that’s how he feels. You want another one and he will willing. But don’t try and convince yourself he is excited or wants another just to make yourself feel better about it.


Well that’s the extreme way of hearing what you want to hear… I guess I got the definition of “over whelmed” wrong … would never have thought it meant excited …


You go ahead & have another child, & when you’re a d!vorcèe with 2 children, don’t act surprised. Like,“He said he didn’t want another child, but I know he was just excited. Why would he le@ve?” #beentheredonethat #divorsèeclub #singlemomsclub #myhusbandcouldnotpossiblymeanwhathestraightupsaid


You’re completely invalidating his feelings by assuming he’s feeling a certain way even though he’s clearly showing and telling you the opposite! stop only thinking about yourself.


Guys don’t share their feelings like women do (most guys). If he’s sharing that he’s overwhelmed then he’s probably overwhelmed. Men don’t usually beat around the bush. I would talk to him first about what could be done to make him not overwhelmed. What exactly is making him feel overwhelmed or in the future he might not share his feelings at all.

I get wanting another child & wanting them closer in age but truly discuss this with him so he’s comfortable. I would think you’d rather have one child with two parents who have a strong relationship vs two children & a distant parent.

When children come we give them a lot of attention especially in the beginning because they’re little & need us to do stuff for them but your husband should definitely come first before your children. You’re going to raise children & send them out to have lives & families of their own. Your husband is the one who’s hopefully going to be by your side far longer than that.


Id be more concerned about my partner telling me they are overwhelmed.


You are just hoping he gets excited and that he will be happy once the baby is here so don’t be mad when u are raising a child by yourself or he doesn’t help do anything with the child! He warned you!


If you want another child that’s fine. But he has explicitly stated that he doesn’t, so why would you think that he will be excited? He’s being honest with his feelings and you aren’t listening or don’t care. So if you have another baby and he is detached you will know why


Lol what? Him: I’m overwhelmed You: no baby your just excited, you’ll get used to another living being that you have to take full responsibility for, don’t worry. :roll_eyes: girl what!? This is something you should’ve discussed prior to getting married.


Until your both on board don’t do this . Clearly he is not ready for another .


Are you for real? Consider him! He’s being honest. Acknowledge that!

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He does not want another one. You completely ignore his feelings. Sounds to me like he needs to leave you. He’s sitting there communicating with you and you aren’t even listening and don’t care about it.

Men are allowed to not want more children or even children at all. The same way women are allowed to it. Find you someone who wants what you want.


I like that :rofl: he says he’s overwhelmed but I think he’s excited :rofl::rofl: dude straight up communicated and she went a completely different direction with the selective hearing


I don’t understand why people don’t have these conversations before marrying someone. That’s why divorce rates are so high

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Watch her be blindsided when he asks for a divorce


And later she’s on here asking about a divorce attorney and being an overwhelmed single mom….


Sounds like your right on the same page​:rofl::joy::face_with_peeking_eye: girl…quit being naïve.


is he over whelmed because of work or finances maybe he know what they can afford and doesn’t want the extra burden she needs to grow up and ask him those questions


You took every feeling that he gave you and you threw that under the bus. The dude will not be excited. He will suffer, and then you will be on here within the next 9 to 10 months, after your baby is born “I don’t understand what happened”.

If I were him, I would leave you. You sound extremely selfish and entitled. And the only other person who is going to suffer out of this, is the kids. But don’t be on here later on crying about how you’re a single mother.


Do you want a baby or not? He is agreeing :rofl: if he disagreed you would be having a fall out, what does it matter? Have the baby :joy: and women wonder why men don’t understand them… hard work


If he’s willing, don’t overanalyze it. :woman_shrugging:t4:


You are completely throwing his feelings and emotions out of the window because he is giving YOU what YOU WANT. Don’t be upset when you are divorced because you care all about what you want and not your husbands feelings and emotions.


You just scream red flag to me…
All I hear from this is you you you you you…
Everything he has told you about how he feels you take and you go and diminish it all by saying well “I think he means this” it’s not about what you think he literally told you he’s overwhelmed and don’t want another. You can have kids and resent them and this sounds like what may happen… your gonna push that man away if you keep thinking everything is about you and his feeling are what you think and not what he tells you they are…
you obviously do not care about your partner what do ever and think he’s just a sperm bank for your needs and wants.
Grow up ma’am…

Your complaint is that your husband wants to give you what you want?
I wonder if there’s a dad’s page where some poor man is posting about his wife not caring that he’s overwhelmed :thinking:


I was in exact opposite situation. My husband insisted we have another. Now I am so thankful he didn’t give up and convinced me to have another baby. I’m obsessed with my baby boy :smiling_face:

I was in the same boat. Took me a year to convince my husband to have another. I had totally expected to be doing everything because he was happy with just having the 2 we have. But it turned out to be the opposite. My husband is LOVING the baby. He’s so happy we had another. It all just depends!


Not wrong for wanting another baby but wrong wrong for not hearing what your husband is telling you. He used the word “overwhelmed”. Instead trying to figure out how to make him less overwhelmed, you are projecting your own feelings on him. He isn’t excited. He told you he was overwhelmed. You assigned that as excited. Will he adjust? Doesn’t seem like you have given him any other option because what he want doesn’t matter. Have you asked when he might be feel less overwhelmed and what needs to happen for that to occur? Or are you just in bullldoze mode and will plow through anything and everything to get what you want?

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Have you seen The Chris Whatss trial?

Wow! Wanting a child is about two people making that choice. It’s about hearing and listening and sharing. Communication is the key, however understanding what that means to each other instead of control or manipulation is a must for a beautiful relationship. In being able to capture that magic, you will no doubt be a far better parent as well as a lover.

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He told you exactly how he feels. He’s overwhelmed and you should respect that and wait on another baby.


I wouldn’t have a baby with someone unless we were both 100% on board. You are completely ignoring his feelings and I can foresee a really rough road for your marriage if you continue on this path.

It’s your body if you want a other child. But if your husband is tell you no I might would listen to him just for now. He might change his mine in a couple months.

You’re disregarding his feelings. He’s openly communicating with you and you just don’t care. You can “feel” he will love the baby no matter what but don’t be upset when he doesn’t or if he becomes resentful and leaves the relationship. He’s physically telling you he’s overwhelmed, what happens if this pushes him over the edge and he snaps? Because if he did, it would be completely your fault. It’s selfish. You’re gaslighting and manipulating him. I would agree with the others don’t be upset if he refuses to help you when you need it because you’re exhausted and run down. If I had a husband that acts the way you do in regards to my opinions, emotions wants and needs, I would divorce you. If he does leave you, I wouldn’t be bitter and file for child support either, considering he didn’t want a
Baby anyway.


“I’m overwhelmed” does not mean “he’s excited” you’re just hearing what you want to hear.


My advice, don’t ask him again. Pretend you never ask in the first place. If he is really excited and want to, let him make the next move and then you can go with the flow.

It should be a joint decision tbh if youvwas going to be a single mum it wouldnt affect him but the fact is he is your husband and his feelings do matter x he may be so happy once the baby is here but there could be a slight chance he is not and you cannot make him feel bad for your decision x

If you have another baby while he is expressing him being overwhelmed, just because you want one is very selfish. Sit down and talk to him and find out exactly how he feels. You both should be in the same page of brining another life into the world.


Respect his decision . If he doensnt want another he doesnt . Its his say also . You will have to respect that .

Ma’am your gaslighting your husband feeling. That conversation should happen before you guys got married.

Slow down. He is telling you he is overwhelmed. Take a little time to let him adjust to the idea, BEFORE you get pregnant again. I’m not being rude, but I assume he’s going to bear the financial responsibility of said new baby. Let him get used to the responsibility he has with one extra mouth before adding to that. He said he will give you another baby, and also that he is overwhelmed. Overwhelmed does not equal excited. He needs more time. But is willing to give you what you want. Compromise with him.

Don’t be surprised when your stuck doing it all by your self and he won’t help you out


This is why future plans really need to be discussed before marriage.

He’s literally telling you how he feels and you’re not listening. This won’t end well


Most men don’t care if they have kids or not. Typically it’s the women who wants babies.
I do agree once the baby is here im sure he’ll love it like he’s supposed to.
I wanted 5 kids my husband wanted 2. After the 2nd he said let’s have a 3rd. Did he want a 3rd :woman_shrugging:t3: he didn’t truly care one way or another. But he knew I wanted a big family. We ended up with 4 then I got him neutered :sweat_smile: 2b 2 g is the perfect mix.

Yeah I would think differently about this. He feels overwhelmed and he’s telling you that. He’s not excited, not enthusiastic. That feeling will most likely roll over into his parenting as well. Not saying he would be a bad father but don’t get upset with him when he doesn’t help you as much as you want or if he has an attitude all the time. If he’s already overwhelmed imagine what another baby could fo to his mental load. His mental health is important too.


My husband wants another one but I don’t. We already have 2, I’m in college and about to graduate next year, then start the university, my youngest is 3 and I don’t have any care for him so I stay home, when I start the university the little one will be starting school so I’ll be able to get more stuff done within the years to come, if I had another baby my life would be put on pause, I don’t want one, and don’t like being pregnant either… the pressure of having a child by your partner can feel overwhelming especially being the woman, I can only imagine how the man feels… you should REALLY think about what’s best for YALL, bringing a baby into this world where only one parent wanted it is traumatic, yall should be on the same boat and not just jump the gun if one isn’t ready why even bother to have a baby?

Uh. Hes literally saying hes having the baby because YOU want to and you think hes excited? Hes communicating with you and you’re not listening.


What if you’re wrong? What if he’s being honest?

Girl don’t do it
He literally told you he’s overwhelmed!


TBH, I feel for your husband. :woman_shrugging:t4: This man does NOT want another child but he’s willing to do it for YOU. But YOU feel like HE will love the baby and adjust no matter what. HE says HE’S overwhelmed but YOU feel like HE’S excited. You’re not wrong for wanting another child but you are wrong for NOT listening to what he is saying to you. This man is telling you EXACTLY how he feels but you’re TOTALLY ignoring what he’s saying to you. I agree that he will love the baby no matter what but don’t be surprised if his feeling for YOU change and you end up alone.

If hes telling you he feels overwhelmed how does that translate to you thinking he is excited :rofl::rofl: GIRL. The man is telling you how he feels ilmao

But to answer your question… you are not wrong for wanting more kids. I think its normal for him to share his feelings openly so you know what to expect of him when/if you do get pregnant♥️


I definitely wouldn’t focus on having another kid until you fix why your husband is overwhelmed.

You will end up pulling alot of the work with the new baby and it will probably put a strain on your relationship.


Way to gaslight your husband. He deserves better.


Please don’t have a baby :upside_down_face:

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I saw a comment that says “have the baby anyways, but don’t expect help.” That’s messy behavior. Don’t do that. That’s forcing a baby on someone who isn’t ready.

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It never ceases to amaze how many people do not have the important conversations before marriage. However, there are only a couple ways this is going to go. He’s either going love the baby (which I assume is what’s he’s hoping will happen) and nothing else will matter or he will resent you when he becomes to overwhelmed and he’s not going to feel like he can talk to you or you will resent him when he’s distant and not helpful. If it were me I’d talk to him to get the reasons why he’s overwhelmed first, then try to fix the issues. Is it money? Space? 1st child little yet and neither are getting any sleep? Not getting enough alone time as is with one kid? It could be any of these or something else entirely. My point is communicate. You might find your marriage will be stronger for it.


Could end in resentment either way, you want another he’s only doing it to please you .

Good change if yoy have another kid he may not help as he’s doing it for you. You guys need yo have a serious talk.

Get into family counseling before having another baby. His feelings are valid and you do not get to decide for him what he will feel later based on what you want. Nobody should be coerced into having a child.


He’s agreeing to let you have your way. What else do you want? There’s no way you can make him feel happy about something he’s not excited about. I feel sorry for him He can’t win with you.

You may end up a single parent eventually :woman_shrugging:

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2 is better … he’ll be happy when bby is here

Something that should have been discussed earlier, before marriage. You want your feelings validated, yet you dismiss his feeling and what he tells you and make up your own narrative of what you think he feels. This is the reenact reason men shut down and don’t discuss, they get dismissed on what they tell you they feel. Listen to what he says and execpt it.
Will he love the kid and be ex ited,likely. But if he is feeling overwhelmed, then he is. Your feeling are no more important than his are. Both are entitled to their feelings and both feelings have the right to be heard and validated. Seems he has done this already agreeing to the baby. Your turn now

As someone who had to beg for a second baby, don’t do it.
I absolutely love my babies but their father didn’t even want our first in the first place.

:sweat_smile::woman_facepalming:t3: well. Good luck with that. There’s a chance he will become excited. But he could also become more stressed/anxious and start to resent you.
Y’all need to both want another baby. Not just you :unamused: don’t get mad at him when he’s not helping with a kid only you wanted.

Don’t be mad when he stops telling you how he feels since you completely disregarded his feelings and literally told him what emotions he is feeling. Thats manipulation at its finest​:face_exhaling::face_exhaling:


I would not even get a dog or cat if my husband wasn’t 100% on board.
The man is telling you that he is feeling overwhelmed and to you that translates into him being excited. You need to stop being selfish and listen to how he’s feeling. He may change his mind in a year or two but right now he is not ready.
This should have been a conversation you had before deciding to start a family…before getting serious in your relationship.
Do not guilt this man into having another baby becAuse he may just resent you and the baby later in life.
Be patient.

When baby gets here. Don’t be mad when he’s not helping. He is telling you how he feels and you are ignoring his feelings


Such a weird post. Obviously he’s not in it.

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The next time you’re feeling run down or overwhelmed that you’re not really run down or overwhelmed… you’re just excited :roll_eyes:

What kind of logic is that?! You don’t get to tell someone else how they feel!


No, you’re not in the wrong. but I’m not trying to be mean with what I have to say, you can’t always have it both ways. Do you want him to lie and say he’s happy or be honest? You can force someone to want something.

Are you even hearing yourself. He’s TELLING you he doesn’t want another baby. You’ve decided he’ll adjust. He’s TELLING you he’s overwhelmed. You decided he’s just excited. I don’t know how to say this nicely. You’re being selfish, gaslighting him. You want to force him into having a baby he can’t handle. Sure he’ll love the baby. But he’ll also resent it & you. If you have another child kiss your marriage good bye. It won’t be a happy 1 & won’t last long. He may not even stay in your kids lives because he’s too overwhelmed to deal with them. If he does it’s not going to be enjoyable. Never force someone to conceive. If you did all you could to prevent pregnancy (including him using condoms) but it happened anyway thats 1 thing. But to plan another child knowing he’s overwhelmed & doesn’t want it is selfish & mean.


He agreed to have another child and he’s telling you what he needs, what more do you want? Fix the things that are overwhelmed him first and then talk about having another baby.

We had 2, a boy and a girl, and he was done (for now) I had aggressive mastitis with my second that almost killed me, I had to have half of my breast removed, could never breastfeed again, and was told I had to wait a MINIMUM of 5 years to give my breast time to heal. I got pregnant after 2 years. We agreed to have an abortion, but there was a wait at the clinic, and by the time they got me in, I could feel him move, and I couldn’t do it. So I kept the baby, because ultimately it’s my body, and it caused a lot of problems. A lot. We split during my pregnancy, I moved out, our kids went to 50/50 custody.
Our 3rd baby is now 10 months old and I have never seen a man more in love.

Your husband has agreed to honor your feelings and commit to being responsible for another child for life. It’s not like getting a goldfish. He’s acknowledging YOUR feelings and you’re repaying that by invalidating HIS feelings just to justify what you want.
It would be great if you were on the same page and excited about having a baby. But that’s not where you are. You can’t create the fairytale.

You have a husband who is willing to put his feelings aside for you, the VERY LEAST you can do is acknowledge how he’s feeling. If you’re already invalidating his feelings now- before a new baby joins the mix, I can only imagine how dismissed he’ll be once the baby is there.

Watch how overwhelmed you become when he leaves you with all three. Don’t have have more children then you can take care of by yourself. That was the advice I was given and trust I am glad I listened.

She says but I feel like he is excited… crazy. You all are pulling her apart. Wtf

This is a recipe for disaster! And that kid will resent you for it!

That is what is wrong with couples, they don’t listen, only hear what they want to hear, so sad

If he says he getting overwhelmed then he’s warning you that this addition may have a negative impact on your relationship and his desire to live with you and the children.
Don’t have another child unless he’s excitedly on board with it.

No matter, which way you go with this someone’s going to get hurt and why everyone is only going at you for it I don’t understand. Because if you stop having kids and only have one when you really want to is going to start to eat away at you as well, and break down your relationship, Men are overwhelmed with children in general, no matter how many you have I came into my relationship with my now, husband, with three kids, one of them with special needs at the time, two years into it we found out we were expecting our own child together, and he immediately wanted it terminated. Then once he had time to adjust, which really only took about an hour, he called me back to tell me we’d figure it out, And I have to tell you we have figured it out and the entire family is happy with our soon to be seven year old 

It’s a wonder how women like you are able to keep men…but good decent women who actually care about their partners feelings and listens to them are left looking around. Good god woman. Pull your head outta your arse. He’s not ready for another child…and may never be. Stop being selfish and actually listen.

Man i feel so bad for this guy

It’s your choices not ours. Can you afford another child is there a reason why your life can’t go on with a second child

If he says he’s overwhelmed he’s overwhelmed. Don’t be a jerk. Having more than one kid is not easy do you want him to resent you? Are you crazy?

What if it was him that wanted another baby but you expressed you were overwhelmed? If the roles were reversed I think you would be on here complaining about him not listening to your feelings. Please wait till he is 100% on board otherwise you’ll be on here a year from now asking why he left. If you love him take his feelings seriously.