My husband invited people over without asking me: Advice?

take your daughter and have a great day, maybe go stay at a nice motel for the night, go home in the morning. have fun, kids grow up so fast, hope things all work out for you all


Try not to be too upset, it’s only an afternoon. My husband moved people in with us without my permission, not once but twice.


Umm… He lives there, too, right? I would be annoyed, but I’m sure it isn’t going to be all day. Do you ask his permission to invite people over to your house? Communication should happen, but this situation is not the end of the world. Entertain, and enjoy the other parts of your day. And if you don’t want to, you can always take your daughter out just the two of you during this time…


I would be very upset but I would be gracious to the company because it is not their fault your husband did this without talking to you first. Just let him know that it is not to happen again . I learned early in my relationship with my husband that it’s more peaceful to be in agreement with my spouse.


I think it’s fair to be frustrated and voice to your husband that you wish he would have talked to you about it previously.
At the same time I would encourage you to use it as a social relaxing time. I personally, enjoy when people come over as it gives me something to look forward to. I work alot and dont get to be social much and I think time spent with friends and my children is an acceptable option when it comes to being too busy to do anything.


This is such a small issue in a big world that I wouldn’t even let it ruffle a single feather. Definitely not worth the energy of being all that angry and certainly a minor issue that if this is the worst it sounds like you have a good marriage. I’d let the wife know you havent had time off and need a raincheck though. His oversight is one thing, no need to comply.


I would be upset too. He should’ve used consideration for you and run it by you first, especially since he knows that you’ve been working all those days without a break. Yup, he was not thinking. Forgive him, anyhow, and have a conversation with him for the future. Hope this helps.

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I’m siding with the husband. I don’t think the husband was trying to be inconsiderate. I don’t think he wanted the wife to feel left out or alone. He does live there, so he has the right to invite people over to a home they share.


Wow. Even if a guest in your home is an imposition, you should never let them feel that way. The family was invited and should be treated as welcome guests. I’m sure you are tired so keep it simple. Deal with your husband later. He wasn’t being malicious, he just didn’t think it through. Just tell him not to invite guests without consulting you. And the same goes for you…if you expect him to entertain the husband or boyfriend of a friend of yours make sure you clear the invitation with him first.


I would make him help you with all the housework before they get there. Then plan a relaxing day. Or tell the wife when they get there that it was awful nice of her volunteering to come help you while husband’s work together. Then put her to work lol

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I think you may have to be gracious this one time but I feel your husband is being inconsiderate and ground rules have to be set for the future. My ex-husband continued to invite people for dinner on a Friday night without asking me (I was a working mom). I finally told him the next time I came home from work and found unexpected company for dinner, I will leave the house immediately snd he could make whatever explanation to his company that he felt was necessary.

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Try not to get to upset, after all, they are coming so the husband can help yours. Just explain that after 2 weeks solid of being at work you had wanted to spend time with your daughter and catch up on housework and you would appreciate him asking next time.

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On my “only one day off days” I do not do housework or chores. Granted, my kids are older and have taken over 85% of the housework. (Can I get an aman!) I remind my husband ahead of time on which day to not plan anything and to let mesleep in or whatever. He may just need a reminder, without such, I wouldn’t stay mad about this instance. However, with the reminded notification, then I would be upset. Best Wishes, and go easy on him. He didn’t have you for all those days, and while he may or may not admit it…it takes a toll on him too. God Bless❤


Ues. You have every right bc he knows how hard you have worked for 2 straight weeks, then when you’re finally off, he has friends over without considering that you may be tired and want to relax.


If you had worked that many days straight he should have known you would have been looking forward to time alone as a family. You are probably exhausted and he should realize that. Ask him if he would like it if you had done that to him. Make sure you talk about how to put your family time first before friends.

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Many of you missed the point where the guy is coming over to help her husband do some work. The husband was trying to be gracious to his friends wife but I also believe that if you call the friends wife and explain to her you haven’t had time off and have plans for that day would it be OK if she took a rain check she’s probably gonna be grateful to not be drug along and her husband will still get his buddy to help him.

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I have the name of a good divorce attorney. No, seriously, call the wife and explain to her what is going on. Talk to her woman to woman. She will understand. Promise her a raincheck. Being a Mom herself, I am sure she will not be offended. That will give you the break you need and, teach the MAN a valuable lesson.


Tell him you already made plans for your day off with your child. You and your child leave and spend the day doing whatever makes you happy. Tell him he should have checked with you before inviting them over and leave him with his guests. Next time should be different.


A marriage is NOT 50/50-- it is both individuals giving it 100% and working together as a cohesive unit-- anything else is a recipe for disaster. If you are not part of the decision making process, or find yourself getting bulldozed into agreeing with their decisions, then your significant other apparently lacks any and all respect for you.

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You have the right to be mad, deal with the company this one time, but make sure you talk with your husband about discussing it with you the next time … it’s only fair both people are on the same page about decisions, especially kinds like these…:+1:


I think he showed poor judgment in asking friends over w/o discussing it with you first. But if this is a one time thing- its not worth a big fight. Talk to him and let him know you need time for “you” and your family and next time please say something in advance. If you never have anything more than this you have it made… Good Luck


You have every right. My husband has friends and family come help him without inviting their spouses. You need to tell him when you havent seen your child in weeks thats who you want to spend time with…


No i think you are right. He knows you have been working non stop and shattered. Home is where you rest the last thing you want to be doint is entertaining. Men just dont think.


I would get up early on the morning take my daughter and the two of us have a fund day don’t care about anything else . Pack a few things the nite before to take with you.


My husband would never invite people over without letting me know, ahead of time. It’s a respect thing.

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I would take my daughter and leave first thing in the morning and spend the day together outside the house. Your husbands friends are not your problem if he didn’t have the courtesy to even ask you if you were up for company

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I would end this gathering gracefully by saying you are completely exhausted and not feeling well, so lets do this another time but let them know your husband is free to come their way
so no one is disappointed or cancelled. Looking forward to us rescheduling. The end

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This was very inconsiderate. Your husband needs to postpone the friends coming over and reschedule when it is convenient.


Yes ask him how he would like it if the rolls were reversed and then I would wait till he is in the same situation and do the same to him and when he complained I would just say well now you know what it feels like

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No he is inconsiderate, After working all week, I don’t blame you for wanting to spend some time with your daughter and doing housework.


They are his friends. Let him entertain them and go away for the day with your daughter. Go to an amusement park, movie or whatever, but don’t let him think this is okay.


Put your child in the car and go to the park or shopping with her for your alone time together, then you can do some social time with friends!

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No you should be upset. Tell your husband to ask next time before he plans your day. Then call his friends wife and tell her you had made other plans for you and your daughter. I’m sure she will understand.

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Advice: Call the wife who is probably as innocent as you. Tell her the truth and that you’re sorry but you already have plans with your daughter but you would love to plan a get together with her at a later date.

It’s not very thoughtful but not a hanging offense. Unless he does this on a regular basis, I’d just ask him to be a little more considerate and check next time, if he’s inviting more than just his buddy over.

He shouldn’t have made you a part of his plans without asking you. Maybe you should consider being accommodating this time with rules for next time? If there’s a next time, continue with your plans with your daughter and let him deal with all his company.

My ex invited a friend over to watch the game on our big screen. I planned on studying in the den. It went haywire when he showed up with with wife and 2 toddlers in tow… it was a riot watching him squirm for 3 hours on a peaceful Sunday afternoon! Funny he wasn’t upset and didn’t have one complaint. We stayed friends for years! —Jenny


working moms miss their young children that go to bed so early‼️

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Yes, you should be very upset! He sounds like he is very inconsiderate. I would throw them all out, the day of including your husband! That would teach him! :joy::joy::joy:

The whole family does not need to come as well. The men are working so this doesn’t need to be a dinner party. He should have spoken to his wife first, before inviting family.

He should have asked but you also say you were going to do housework. So you would have taken time for that, right? So skip the housework. Talk to another woman for a while. Tell her what you were gonna do. Get her to play games with the kids with you or just save that time for later when they are gone to play with her. Thing is, there will always be housework. Your kid won’t ever be five again. There will always be housework but there won’t always be a person who can be your friend and just help you remember that sometimes you need time to be a woman and just relax and talk about nothing and everything. And you know if she’s at grandmas all the time, how much time does she get to play with other kids? It might not have been your plans but you can make this work.

You have a right to be annoyed, your husband does have a point and didn’t know you wanted a family day, neither of you communicated with the other, does he have a habit of dropping unannounced guests on you.

I wouldn’t say anything untill after they leave. Not their fault.Talk it over with your husband later.

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He would be on his way to pick up whatever fastfood he could pay for… i will be playing with my child for awhile…problem solved…

Sounds like he’s not very thoughtful.
It would have been nice to discussed with you first. Maybe he didn’t because he knew your answer.

The answer is communication. Maybe your husband feels neglected. You mentioned you wanted to spend time with your daughter but not him. Marriage is daily work, again communication (prayers never hurt too)

You are not wrong. I’d tell him to tell them I’m taking a nap and they have to stay outside. And I’d also tell him to not ever do that again.

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Did he clean the house before company came? Did he get some food and drinks in? If he did those things it’s not as bad, but I bet you are dead dog tired and wanted to snuggle with your child!

It’s happened to me a few times too. Not considerate in the least. Ground rules no one over with our consent from both of us.

The people he’s bringing should have refused and should have known not to come I live with my daughter and for months we haven’t been in contact with anyone as my daughter has a life threating disease. Don’t care who u offend I also have two friends mixed and one died last week with covid 19
You are quite right and there is no need to argue or anything over it

Of course you have every right to be upset! From now on talk to him and let him know how your feeling and what you want to do in advance.

Just be nice to wife and let him know next to check first. Do what you can to catch up on housework, maybe guests will pitch in.

This may be a teaching and learning moment for you both to insure it doesn’t happen again move on notl bad feeling this should b solved if you two can agree

I understand the husbands getting together but before he invited the wife and kids he should have asked if she was ok with it.

Sounds like the husband is getting too used to his wife not being around and making decisions without her input.

I stopped this pretty easily I told him you invited him over you take care of them and I left now we discussing make plans together it is perfectly okay for you to take you and your kid and go somewhere else and have your day that you planned somewhere else while he and his friend and the friends wife can act as a gopher and entertained her own children

Did you stop to think that maybe he tried to say something about this and you didn’t have the time to listen? I have been in the opposing situation…he didn’t listen and was grumpy about it. With the assistance of our friends and their children , the night went off quite well. And he enjoyed it as much as anyone!

First during these times friends shouldn’t be coming over. Second he thoughtlessly invited people over without talking it over. Be gracious to them and the next day sit down with him and explain you wanted family time.

Is she a really good friend . Maybe she will help you do your housework if you ask her to. 2 can get twice as much done twice as fast

You and your daughter have a wonderful day and let him hang with his friends, maybe do a fun cook out with everyone but make it her day

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I would just be honest with the couplelllDon’t know how well you know either of these people but I would have your husband call back and explain the situation and reschedule.

I would be very upset. Next time tell him ahead of time what your plans are.

No. If it were me, and I’m less likely to hang out with my husband, his friend and friend’s wife if I wasn’t asked in advance. I would go buy KFC and leave the big bucket at home. Write a nice, short note to the wife and say, “I apologize I am unable to meet with you and visit today. I already had plans. I bought KFC for all of you to enjoy. Please help yourselves. My plans will keep me out late. Maybe we can meet some other time.” Then I’d get ready, get my child ready, tell your husband, “I will be out a while, and dinner is on the table.” I would leave with my child and go wherever my child wanted to go. I’d go to a movie, Chucks Cheeses, or let her visit a friend. Whatever she wanted to do, I’d do that and have fun with her. Take her to eat where she wants to eat. When she is tired and ready for bed, then I’d go home. Put her to bed, grab a cup of coffee, watch a movie, and then go to bed myself. This is what I’d do. I have been married to someone who tried that stuff with me. Sometimes you Have to give your husband some hard love so he will understand. Next time, ask me first.

He should have asked but since he didn’t just go with the flow but before they come over tell him help clean up before and after the visit

Nope. He should have understanding and consideration for your feelings which he obviously does not. I would never have d one that to my late wife.

I would not be home n say I had plans next time check with me first!

No you are definately in the right. Just take your daughter somewhere. Don’t stay home.

Call the wife explain its your only day off that you need to rest with your baby im sure she will understand You Work you deserve a break be honest

Call the wife, tell her your situation, and ask her if you can reschedule their visit. Done


You’re not wrong for being upset. Just cuz hubby has a buddy over doesn’t mean the whole family has to come.

Doesn’t seem like an everyday occurrence, I would have just went with it. You can always make up time with kids.

Absolutely not. He should have been more considerate and spoke to you first.

My boyfriend does this too. I try to just go with it. Being upset will just cause tension. At a later time i would just let him know that on your next day off youd like some quiet time with the family. Communication. If he still continues to do this. Thats a whole diffrent issue. Disrespect.

It’s to help your husband do something and for one day or a few hrs? I don’t see the big deal. Your kid will no be there still and there will be kids for her to play with. Not grandparents. Tell your boss who’s working you to death you need time off with your family. No one’s last words are I wish I’d have spent more time working.

I would be upset to. Tell him how you feel and if he can’t except it tell him you and your daughter are going somewhere to spend time together.

Communication is key. You do have a right to be upset because he dropped the ball on that.

Every right to be upset BUT ask yourself this is this worth a fight or an argument over? Will you still be mad at this later down the road? If not then I say take a moment tell your husband you appreciate the thought but really you want him to talk about it first because you had plans maybe cut the visit short and spend time as a family :blush::heart:

Get stick to what you said you were going to do! I would act like they weren’t their other women understand if they don’t oh well!

Just say NO…I know if you were able to talk to the wife she would be very understand. It is ok if he explains to the husband your situation he too would understand…

No you’re not, take your daughter and leave and let him entertain them.


Your husband should have discussed what he wanted to do before he invited friends over. You have not had a day off and that was selfish him to respect you and ask if you were ok with it

Yeah you’re wrong. it’s his house too. if it’s such a huge deal go with the chick and her kid and take the kids to the park.

I don’t blame the wife for being upset . It was wrong of the husband to do this without asking , I mean he never thought to ask if she had plans for that day .

I would leave and let him deal with the ones he invited. Go in and have a great day with your child

So the husband had “some work” to get done and needed help. If you are not going to help your husband with “some work”, that’s your fault.

My husband always checks w me about ANY plans as do i

Your husband is inconsiderate of your time and feelings. Take your daughter on a day-trip. Husband can entertain the people he invited over.

Get over it that’s called life! It should only be a couple of hours.

Ask your husband what he is going to feed them and when he is getting the house cleaned.

He doesn’t have to invite the wife and kids. The guys coming over to help him do something

Wow with everything that is going on and this is an issue :roll_eyes::roll_eyes:

No you’re not you sound tired and if I were you I would probably be upset too I think he should be more understanding


You are very tired and emotional.
Your hubby could if said something but we all can be asses. Just go with the flow. When they leave. Tell your husband. He does this again. He will be leaving with the company. Say it in the most bitchy but sweet way

I would get my child ready and go to the park and tell the lady she could bring her kids to the park

Does it matter- they’re come- make the best of it, and do bring it to your husbands attention. After all he’s a guy & they think differently then gals

No, I would be every upset. That was very thoughtless of him.

Call the wife and explain,working 10days in a row. Just NOT up to guests visiting .

I would of told him no way not until he help you to get cought up with my house work

I would be mad if it was my husband but that’s men all over for you