My husband doesn't take me out

My husband doesn’t take me out or plan anything. In the 5 years we’ve been together, I’ve always had to plan things whether that be date nights, birthdays etc. I always have to be the one who says “we should go out to dinner” or anything like that, and he will agree, but if i don’t take action it will never happen. I threw him a big expensive 30th birthday party and got nothing two years in a row for my birthday. I’m not expecting him to spend all this money on me or throw me a massive party but for once i would love for him to plan just one night out for us. It’s not about material things, it’s about the thought and him wanting to take me out. It genuinely hurts my feelings that he can’t do something so simple for me/us. I’ve expressed this to him multiple times even in tears over the course of our relationship. I feel like every year that goes by nothing changes. I’m tired of having this conversation with him and feeling like I’m not worthy enough when i go above and beyond for him. Why do I have to plan everything? When i bring it up he just says “i’m not good at planning things you know this”, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. I feel unheard, bored and lonely in our relationship. I just want to feel wanted and for him to show me off like the prize he says i am. What gives?

If you’ve mentioned it to him, multiple times, & nothing has changed then it most likely won’t ever change. It’s something you’ll just have to decide on your own if it’s that much of an issue. I totally know how you feel & after awhile it does make you upset so I wouldn’t blame you. It’s really not even about the party, it’s the thought that counts and the fact that he tried to do it for you. Maybe those kind of things aren’t important to him, but he could at least do it to make you happy since you’ve cried to him about it.