My husband does not want anymore kids...advice?

I will never be 100% okay with only having one child. But my husband doesn’t want anymore. I’m only 25 I never planned on just having one child and now what? I’m forever grateful for our daughter. But she’s 3 and a half and I grew up with 2 brothers and he’s for 2 sisters and a brother and I just feel like crying because I’m struggling with the reality that I will forever only have one child.


God always has his own plan :pray: :raised_hands:


I have 9 siblings and it is the best thing ever.


My son is almost 9 and my whole world. I love having only one child. It makes traveling and adventures actually fun and easy! Plus I can still work 2 jobs and be able to have my son heavily involved in soccer and karate.

You will regret it later in life. We only had one. Love her dearly.

I had my first kid at 19. My husband and I waited 11.5 years to have another one. I was pretty set on having only one kid but my husband wanted another one. My little just turned a year old. As I don’t not recommend waiting that long it is still possible to have another one in a few years. You are still young. Your husband can change his mind eventually.


Your feelings are important also. Listen to your instincts.

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My husband only wanted 1, than randomly was like maybe we can try for #2… we are now on #4… men don’t think like we do… once we got better financially and he felt ok to add another mouth to feed we had another. I wouldn’t worry too much. He just wants to enjoy your little girl. Let him… you enjoy her too. My kids are 12, 7 and 1. With 1 on the way (birth control failed) and I honestly love the space apart. I got to really enjoy every single one so far.

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Appreciate his honesty babe.


My brother in law died in a car accident when I was pregnant with my son… at that time… my husband said he only wanted one child… I accepted that because if the grief he was going through losing his sibling…then 11 years later… we had a completely unplanned pregnancy… believe it or not… I took that news harder then he did… he was fine… .my son who was 11 took it hard at first… but he became his sisters protector… moral of the story… your young… time changes things… he may still change his mind… or you may change yours. Right now just enjoy the child you have.


Find someone who will give you more!

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My husband didn’t want to have a 2nd child. We have a wonderful daughter and son. God help them and my grandkids growing up in this world :blush::heart::pray:

Probably should’ve discussed that before you got married

He obviously has a valid reasoning behind his choice. Communication is key. Dont give up hope your only 25.
Men dont think like we do. Be patient and talk to him but dont pressure him either.

Be thankful you have one healthy child.

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As an only child who has one kid and will never have another one, having just one is not the end of the world, and your child won’t be lonely as long as you help foster her self esteem and teach her how to love herself. She’ll find friendships and found family that way.

As you are young, I wouldn’t not ever talk to your husband about it again, maybe just give him some time, ask the questions as to why he doesn’t want to have another. There may be some common ground things you can compromise on, such as finances/job stability or housing issues that he might be thinking you need to have in place before having a second one. Let it calm down for a bit, then ask him his reasons why. Sometimes it’s a practicality issue for a lot of men.


Have a conversation and see if it’s a deal breaker me and my hubby only have one and we are good with that.

I only have one. That’s what nature ended up giving me and I’ve suffered many miscarriages since. Your husband may change his mind and then you find it doesn’t happen anyway. Remember that some never manage to have any.

I really feel like this was a conversation you should have had before getting married. You can’t force someone to want to have more kids. Maybe as time goes on, his feelings will change naturally, but if not, you need to prepare yourself for that


It’s simple. It takes two to be parents. If he dosen’t want another child, you can’t force him. If this is something you can’t live with, you should divorce him.


I grew up as an only, but had 4 half siblings. I thought my oldest was going to be an only until we tried one last “hail mary” and had another child 7.5 years later. Would he be willing to foster? Adopt? Those are always options!


Had my first at 17 and second n last at 37. Maybe he’ll change his mind.

That would be a deal breaker for me and even though I have multiple kids and currently pregnant my bf knows that 2 is the minimum with him and he knew it from the start that I wanted at least 2 more kids and now he’s talking about getting snipped before our first is even born and it’s an issue definitely not our only issue or our biggest issue but it’s definitely an issue since he knew that 2 was the minimum so I get it all to well atm

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Thought I would be with only 1 child a girl who will soon be 12 in dec and just had a boy in July I turned 40 in August

Your husband’s doesn’t get to just decide. If you feel like you can’t talk to him about it go to a couples counselor and they can mediate for you.

Go to therapy. You need to be at peace with whatever decision you make going forward. Is this this relationship is worth staying in knowing you have to accept having only one child? Is pursuing your dream of having more children more important? If you choose to leave there’s no guarantee you’ll meet someone else who wants kids and will be a good partner, nor is there any guarantee that you will be able to have more children. Pregnancy and childbirth is always a risk. Do not try to convince your husband to have another child. If his heart isn’t in it, forcing it would be unfair to him, the children, and you.

Did he change his mind? If another child is something you want and he doesn’t agree you don’t have many options than leave him.

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this is a deal breaker for some.
time for a serious conversation. i can understand health reasons/concerns and of course money.

and for those ASSumig, how do you know they didn’t have this conversation before they got married and now he’s backing out?

Have the baby or you will regret it your entire life.

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I was in the same boat. Now we are divorced and I wish I would have had a few more😭


Did his plans changed? Did yours? Have you asked him why? Maybe there were a few things that changed (your relationship? Time?) with the last baby and he doesn’t want it to happen again? Maybe it’s financial? The biggest thing is to COMMUNICATE. Also you have to decide if this is a deal breaker for you? Are you willing to give up your marriage bc you want more children ? Is he willing to give up his marriage bc he doesn’t want more children? It maybe a really hard conversation to have with one another and even yourself.


He must have explained his thoughts and feelings on the matter?
If he never changes his mind, can you be okay with the family you have? Or would you break up this family to create another? It’s not the nicest way to phrase this, but that’s just what it is. The only reasonable thing to do here is communicate. Not pressure, communicate. Ask him to be entirely honest in his feelings to see if maybe some of his concerns are things you could help with. It wouldn’t be right to demand it of him without being able to try and help the situation so he’s not so worried.

Decide whether you want your husband or another child more.

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You both have to decide exactly what you want for your future and what you’re not willing to settle for.
If you can’t live without having another child then you have to be ready to walk away from him.
And if he is firm in what he wants he has to be willing to lose you. You are young and sometimes love isn’t all you need for a lasting relationship. You don’t want to make a decision that will make you resent him forever. And if he was forced to have another child he might resent you.


Hard truth- sometimes it backfires and the kids never like each other… not every kid needs or wants siblings not that people take it into consideration what the kids want or need enough. But of course its a trial and error kind of thing.


This is a conversation you’ll need to have with him. And then you’ll need to determine what your willing to live without. Are you willing to end your marriage and find someone who will give you more children. Or are you willing to stay married but possibly never have more than 1 child? If you decided to get pregnant without his consent he could resent you or the child. So do not do that behind his back.

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This is something that needed to be talked about before marriage.
In your heart you know what you want. You need to hear out why he doesn’t want more kids. Then you both need to decide what makes you happy.


I was an only child until I was 13, then I got 3 step-siblings. I would never have had an only child ( I have 3 children). There’s a lot to learn by living with other kids that only children miss out on. Besides, one day you will be old and need help, and your one child will have no one to share the burden. My daughter in law is dealing with this now. I have a friend whose mother was in a facility with dementia, and then her dad had a heart attack and died. The mom died 3 months later. My friend had to do all the stuff by herself.

I have one child and I wouldn’t change it for the world. He is super sweet and loving. (We tried for a second and struggled ) play dates are key but one child is easier to make plans and having kid activities to attend to. Be thankful for our healthy babies :heart:


Sounds like something that should’ve been discussed before walking the plank.

You should of discussed this before marriage but now I would have a serious heart to heart with him about it.


I’m an only child, with one child. I only wanted one, but my husband and I discussed all that kind of stuff prior to marriage. That’s a deal breaker for a lot of people.

Don’t give up, my husband said he would never get married again and look what happened! Neither did he think we would have a second child which I am currently pregnant now! Just keep talking to him! Good luck!


Kids are really , really expensive and a huge responsibility. Live your life in the present and stop crying about a uncertain future.
Maybe he doesn’t want another one now but who knows if he changes his mind.

PS: There is always the option of a divorce and live the life you want and have as many kids as you want

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Things you should have discussed before you got married.

Mine didn’t either wish he would have decided that before we had 3.

I am an only child. Nothing wrong with that.


Is it something you discussed before marriage?

My husband was devastated when we couldn’t get pregnant. Then it happened… a miscarriage. Then the birth of our son followed by 4 more miscarriages and a daughter, who passed away after birth.

I always wanted 2 kids, I had two kids, but have 1 kid living. Be grateful for that 1 child.


need to have a serious talk to get on the same page. May have jumped the gun on everything. kids was a discussion we had before engagement.


All the you should have had this talk before marriage…
YOU DO REALIZE WANTS CAN CHANGE :rofl: I never wanted kids… I had one. Never wanted more…. Met my husband and had two more.

He could have wanted more kids but maybe one is just a lot to him right now… then the thought of a newborn and a toddler? The thought alone is stressful and I have a 14, 5 and 3 year old. THEY ALL FIGHT ALL DAY… :face_exhaling::rofl:

Just talk to him, he has a right to not want more. Just like you would if that was the case. His feelings are valid too. It’s a marriage… TEAM WORK…

Also, I’m glad I was an only child…

There may be several reasons for not wanting any more kids. For one is he making decent money where he can support a family ? There may be lots of stress for him. Does he have one or more jobs because of financial issues ? Children can keep a person awake for the first years of life. Is he helping in the household like cleaning and washing etc: all that stresses some men out to the most. If he doesn’t want anymore then don’t force him. Because you may be raising the kid by yourself. Both of your decisions matter

All the you should have had this talk before marriage…
YOU DO REALIZE WANTS CAN CHANGE :rofl: I never wanted kids… I had one. Never wanted more…. Met my husband and had two more.

He could have wanted more kids but maybe one is just a lot to him right now… then the thought of a newborn and a toddler? The thought alone is stressful and I have a 14, 5 and 3 year old. THEY ALL FIGHT ALL DAY… :face_exhaling::rofl:

Just talk to him, he has a right to not want more. Just like you would if that was the case. His feelings are valid too. It’s a marriage… TEAM WORK…

Also, I’m glad I was an only child…

Didn’t you discuss this before marriage

My son was 10 and I ended up pregnant with my daughter, she’s 3 now. You never know what will happen in the years to come.

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I’m 26, my partner is 40. I want a baby and he doesn’t. I told him I would rather have him than a baby. Sometimes you make sacrifices for people you love.

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Picked wrong husband - should have been settled before marrying!


Children are very expensive. The economy continues to worsen. Is it possible your husband is worrying about being able to properly provide for a large family?
Maybe in time as your situations change he will have a different mindset.


If you are healthy during pregnancy and birth. Don’t just have 1. I had 2 boy and girl. Both c-section and high BP, gestational diabetes. I wish I could had had more. I only have 1 brother. My daughter has a boy and girl. Both were in the nicu and she wants another so bad. I know only kids and it breaks my heart to think that when they lose their parents, they will be the only person grieving.

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You might have to make the decision to go elsewhere, if it feels like a deal breaker. What made truly him change his mind? Is it an outside force? like financial or a better job?
Would you resent him for the rest of your life for changing his mind? - from your post it sounds like this is something you talked about before and were on the same page.
You might have to separate to get what you want, can you do that?

My husband had 4 kids before we had our son when he was 3 months he left the house and had a vasectomy… after thinking about he realized it was selfish on his part cause it was my only child after 5 years we saved and had the vasectomy reversed likely for us we got 3 more after we got lucky that it worked cause it’s a 50/50 chance and we had our last one inc 2022 we talked about having one more I did more than he I think he was done but he wouldn’t say No but he passed away at the end of January and he has blessed me with 4 boys … maybe in time he will change his mind your both your my husband was 25 when he had his vasectomy

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Conversely, I grew up with 2 brothers and we are not close; never really have been. Actually grew up wishing I could have been an only child, instead. I have an only child who’s about to turn 18, and he’s so happy to be an only child.

Having siblings isn’t a requirement to life; additionally, there is no guarantee having siblings would make your child’s life better, just like there’s no guarantee not having siblings is gonna make your child’s life worse.

And realistically speaking, how many siblings you and your husband respectively have is irrelevant to whether or not your kid has any siblings at all; just because you had siblings doesn’t mean your kid has to have siblings. :woman_shrugging:

They’ll still be fine without them, trust me.

But you’re insistent that you want more kids and your hubby is insistent that he doesn’t, perhaps you have a bigger issue you guys need to be honest with other about. Maybe your wants, values, and life goals are no longer aligned, and you’d both be better off with other people, who want the same things in life.

Your husband is being very unfair. If this wasn’t an agreement prior to your marriage, it’s completely unfair.

This is probably something that you should have talked about before you got married if you are that upset with only having 1.


Yall she may have had this conversation before they got married. They could’ve even agreed on a higher number. He could’ve just changed his mind. That 3 year old stage will definitely make you question having more kids. Lol so I definitely understand. Just wait it out, he may change his mind. He also may not change his mind. You have a choice to make. Be content with one, wait to see if he changes his mind, or leave to find someone else that also wants what you want. Sorry to put it so bluntly but those are your options. If anyone else has other options, please chime in.


Let me say it is harder as you grow up as an only child, watching your parents age and having to deal with everything on your own is not fun. Hospital and Dr visits, care at home for them while raising your own family. It’s not easy on one!

I’m an only child. I never wanted just one kid. I have 2. A girl then a boy…7 years apart. Be patient for a bit.


My daughter had only one and done
I had 5 my sister had 2
My brother had 4
List go on
Girl trust me let it be whatever meant to be will be

Something that should have been discussed before marriage instead of just s&g. A marriage partner is one major part of life and dating is an interview for life long partner. Its Not just for fun and butterflies.


Anyone saying that they should’ve had this conversation isn’t being helpful. They might’ve had that conversation and things changed once they had a child. It happens all the time.

My partner and I thought we’d have 2-3 kids and after having our son both of our minds changed. It happens. :woman_shrugging:t4: I also have a good friend who got engaged, moved in with her fiancé, discussed kids and they planned a child, had one, then the father decided that being a father isn’t for him because he wasn’t prepared for it at all. The conversation is important but people can change their minds. Having a child is HARD and no one is prepared until they have one.

No one knows how they are going to feel about having more children until they truly have one. This conversation is important but let’s give her some advice and not criticize her.

Momma, give it some time. You’re still in the thick of toddlerhood and this can be very overwhelming. Give it time and revisit it in the future. 🫶🏽


Go get a another stud, jim

All of these people saying you should have figured that out before getting married :woozy_face: suuuuuper helpful.

Keep talking to him, have discussions where you BOTH listen to the other side (your feelings are just as important)


Well, you tell him what you want
or leaving you . Stand your ground .before you got married did you tell him about it ??? It pays to have a sitdown talk and few more discussion . To meet you both in middle. He maybe want to enjoy his life with you .having too many it’s a lot of work …I suggest 1 is ok . So have more time to each other ,travel, the child you have he or she will be well off .one day. She got no one to share with whatever you leave him / her . No hardship …honestly I got only one child …my point of view is to give that child a very good life .

You have to decide how badly you want a baby. If you want a baby more than you want him, then you may have to consider divorce. Having said that, you have to keep in mind that you have a chold already and divorce will negatively affect her. Especially when shes older, if she finds out why, she may feel like she wasnt enough.
If not, I highly suggest seeking a therapist who can help you cope with what you’re feeling.
Some other options are starting a daycare, fostering, or adopting. Adopting is bringing in a child that will be your own, but allows families to avoid pregnancy and the newborn stage if they choose. There are a lot of older kids who need homes.

I’m an only child and I always wanted 2 kids…well I have my 6 yr old and my newly 1 yr old boys but my husband wants 1 more and im on the no side of that

Why are most of you saying it should have been disclosed before marriage That is not Helpful. You are only 25 things change from day to day month by month year by year. I truly believe to Pray and Give it to the Lord to resolve for you. I wasn’t suppose to have children because of surgeries and I got pregnant Believe me drop the conversation and resume in a year
Don’t let this be a deal breaker. Your child needs their father.
You have plenty of time

If he refuses to change his mind and your not ok with it, divorce is the only option


I’m so glad we only had one child. I didn’t know that I would be dealing with 2 cancers and heart surgery.

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It’s surely not a shock if that was his perception from the get go. I feel women have the upper hand here and maybe selfishly get pregnant pretending they had no intention??? I’m :100: with the other party esp if was made to think no other children and vocal of their opinion. Only when misled am I against more children we are all aware how the birds and the bees started

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Whyd you have one with him in the first place if he didn’t want more?

This should have been discussed before you got married. Now you have to decide if you agree, leave, or find someone else. How bad do you want more children?

My husband wanted more kids and I didn’t so we didn’t have anymore. You can’t make someone want to have a baby. If that’s what they choose you have to deal with it. That or you have to leave and find someone else to have a child with. Is it worth it just to have another kid? Definitely have a serious talk with him but don’t pressure him.


Mine never wanted any kids. Guess what we got 6 kids , 6 dogs a ferret, bunny, and 3 cats. It wasn’t about what he wanted that was important then and now what he wants can be important ish as we are older an kids are almost all grown up. So he has his tools he asks for and little toys like legos and Mario brothers figures an his favorite football team stuff. He gets what he wants when I get what I want. Next up is a huge plot of land with multiple houses on it an a mini farm so all our kids have homes and I can have chickens and horses. All he wants is a garage and a man cave.

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My husband and I are dealing with the same thing. He’s 25 and I’m 30 so he doesn’t understand that I don’t have much more time. I have health issues so the longer I wait, the worse it’ll be on me physically. We just had 2 chemical pregnancies back to back. Literally exactly a month apart. And both times he was upset that I got pregnant. (It takes 2 to tango) :joy::melting_face: so I’m not sure how to take this and go from here. We never discussed how many because we didn’t know at the beginning if I’d even be able to have kids. I have PCOS and struggled 7 years to get pregnant. Covid took away things from both of my pregnancies. I had my daughter September of 2020 and it was a disaster my whole pregnancy. And my son I was Covid positive when I delivered him and that was a total train wreck as well. Worst experience. I couldn’t smell my son or his poops for the first couple months of his life. I never got to smell his newborn smell. I felt like I shouldn’t snuggle him because I was sick when I delivered him. He was in an incubator in my room because less exposure. I just want a typical delivery :face_holding_back_tears::sob: and I had my kids back to back. They’re 15 months apart to the day. My daughter is now 3 and my son will be 2 in December. It’s such a hard thing and our marriage is struggling because of it.

I’m so sorry my husband wants another and I just had hysterectomy “medically needed” I’m 33 with three babies so I get it shoe fits on both feet I honestly was like yeah I’m ok with it no more anyways and with the way the worlds going I absolutely don’t want anymore but three four years ago before the world lost it mind I did want another baby so people change he might ch age his mind

Leave him sis!! I left my first child’s dad and one of the big reasons was he didn’t want more kids, I had siblings I wanted my children to have siblings. They have siblings, I have a new husband, my ex who apparently didn’t like kids doesn’t really have kids now, everyone is happy.

My daughter is about to be 12 she has so far been an only child. It breaks my heart as all the other kids around have siblings and she doesn’t. She gets sad about it. Luckily we was able to finally get pregnant again and she won’t always be an only child. I couldn’t imagine being alone. Of if something happened to my parents not having siblings around

I don’t understand how people aren’t having conversations with each other before marriage about these things. My fiance doesn’t have any of his own. He’s raised my youngest since she was a baby and he wanted one of his own. Until we hit the toddler stage. Which I agreed to a fourth if it happened before she was three. Now he knows I won’t have one and he still wants to marry me so that’s his choice. But he was able to make it before the marriage part.


Why doesn’t anymore children?

My wife got pregnant and she claims to have been on birth control. She claim the birth control is only 99% reliable, and she was that 1% lol. We are happy with our kids. I suggest you do the same.

Honestly this type of thing is a deal breaker.
Either he’ll resent you, or youll resent him.
This shoulda been a major conversation before solidifying commitment

Thats so hard:(
Im sorry youre going through that.
Therapy may be helpful here
But if not,you know the next course of action


You need to be having this conversation with husband maybe with a counselor

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If you absolutely cannot deal with just one child, you’ll need to divorce and find another husband who wants kids.

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If the the amount of children wasn’t discussed prior to marriage, then that’s on you for placing yourself in that situation. He may not be your life partner🤷🏾‍♀️

I have one beautiful child yes it is sad that he doesn’t want another one but having a child is a two person desicion *sorry for misspelling * wait maybe one or two years before bringing it up again .

My husband didn’t want ANY children…well I dropped birth control and got pregnant…he hated me for it! It was heartbreaking because he didn’t even want to hold our baby girl. Fast forward…4yrs later…got pregnant again…I figured if I only had a SON he would be happy…NOPE…he hated me all over again!..well…totally unplanned…the following year I was pregnant again. Had another son. Well…he made it plain and clear that he wasn’t happy about it and I struggled to win him over…for many many years. Still acted like he hated me. It was not a happy life I’d been through but I hung in there. Today…our kids are grown and gone and my husband Loves all 3 dearly! I finally have peace with him and now he’s thankful I never gave up on our marriage and kids. We have now been married for 51 years. It was a roller-coaster ride, but now living our very happiest lives! I don’t recommend anybody following what I did, unless you are strong enough to endure all that comes with it. Plus…True love conquers all. Just thought I’d share.

Leave. You will end up resenting him for not having more children, you truly (may) won’t feel complete without more.

This is why talking before getting serious with someone is very important. Talk about how you raise kids, how many kids you want , religion etc.

End this marriage and find a man that want more than 1 kid with you.


I had one child I lost one …she never minded being an only child at all…it is tough if you really want another …a close friend her daughter was 17 when she decided she really could not accept only one child her husband was 12 years older…she told him she would have a 2nd with him or without him…their daughter was 17 at this point but her time was running out…when he realized how much she wanted another he relented.
She loved her husband deeply but wanted snother child. She then had two miscarriages…her husband
Asked her to agree if thry lost a 3rd would she she accept it was not meant to be. She agreed but she delivered a healthy baby boy. Their children are over 18 years apart. She was willing to sacrifice a very happy marriage not saying this is something you should consider doing but wanted to tell you my friend’s story.
They continued to have a happy marriage but one person relented.


Ask if he will adopt an older child or do temp foster care.