My grandma made a comment about my weight: What do I do?

Oh my gosh I’m so sorry girly! Not only do you have to deal with that old, toxic boomer Grandma of yours (I think - is she old or is she younger?) - you’re dealing with these comments that are disgusting! These people on here are gross, don’t listen to those who agree with your crusty Grandma. They’ve all been indoctrinated into thinking this way and I’m happy you’re speaking out and doing what you can to defend yourself.

Tell her exactly how you feel - and if you don’t want her around your kids to teach them that weight matters and it’s okay to call people fat (even when it hurts their feelings), you don’t want that kind of person around anyway. Protect yourself and don’t tolerate bullies or toxic people. You got this! :kissing_heart:

It was one comment you are making a mountain, maybe she was teasing, Enjoy Grandma she won’t be here forever

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I may be odd man out here so let me get the facts straight…you are currently pregnant and your grandmother said you were getting a little fat? Perhaps she was Referring to your pregnant belly ? Maybe her intention was not to hurt your feelings but to tease you about being pregnant? I don’t need 50 women coming at me I’m just trying to show another perspective.

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Oh wooby effing poo, your grammaw said something…so what? I wish mine could say anything. Suck it up, Buttercup.

I’m not pregnant and my grandma tells me the exact same words :sob:, but she tells all the family the same, she’s 90 so we just let it go, my uncle is really overweight and barley goes to see her, but when he does she tells him he’s fat like 10 times in less than an hour until he gets pissed and tells her yeah I’m fat so what!! Then she’ll play the victim :sweat_smile:, I just say that’s what you needed to be quiet :sleepy:.

Un-invite her… you teach people how to treat you and if you allow it now it will keep happening

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Suck it up buttercup is what my grandmother would say. I believe the only older generation has earned the right to say pretty much what they want. There is too much sugar coating for the generation or raising now. So what you got pregnant back to back gain weight back to back you can lose it and yes nobody don’t want to hear they’re fat but that doesn’t define who you are your reactions to it says what type of person you are. One day that woman that you call grandmother will not be with you and you won’t have to hear the hurtful things that she says but I promise you you’ll beg for them back if that’s the only words you can have from her. Just waiting to one of your kids tells you that their friend’s mom is prettier than you. Don’t let what people say about you define you you know you’re worth show it

Cut grandma off if that makes u feel better! Don’t listen to these old azz ladies who are commenting trying to justify grandma’s words and behavior. These women were raised back in their day to be door mats :joy::-1::woozy_face:!!

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If she says " your getting fat" again , tell her " you are old and wrinkled ." :woman_shrugging:

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It is nearly impossible to change old people, she is in the wrong but you will not convince her of it. Let it go, don’t stress over it, its not worth it.

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Distance yourself from ppl who don’t respect you or make you feel a certain…your personal peace means more. Some ppl can’t handle toxic ……so put some space btwn you two

You can ignore her. Grandparents don’t always care how we feel when they tell us off.
That’s said, nobody can make you feel bad unless you allow it. So, if your weight bothers you, talk to your Dr.

The one piece of advice that I wish I had learned earlier in life…“Other people’s opinions of me are none of my business”!!! Why? Because it a reflection of them and not me. It is “THEIRS”! And everyone IS entitled to have their opinion. It does NOT mean I have to adopt their opinion! My favorite grandma did this ALL the time, example: she was always complaining about my shorts being “too short” (I didn’t wear “daisy dukes’s), so I purposely made sure I wore longer shorts. The result…“those shorts make you look fat”…:woman_facepalming:t2::woman_shrugging:t2::joy:. “Um, Nanny, that’s why I wear shorter shorts”. My mom is worse! I’m doing my best to stop this passed down trait. So yes, as a curvy, fluffy person, I do understand how much being told you are fat hurts. Maybe tell her next time " that is YOUR opinion and my OB/GYN does not agree with you, so I am going with a medical opinion”.

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I would let it ride this time but if she brings it up again then you got problems

What you allow to continue, will.
You need to put your foot down. If she doesn’t care & is invalidating your feelings, stay away from her. You don’t want or need that negativity in your life.

She wouldn’t want you commenting on her body. “Are you on meth? You’re getting thin.” We don’t comment on people’s bodies. I have a bil who’s a major bully like this. I haven’t talked to him in years. It’s been peaceful. You need that peace.

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Every single time I see my husband’s family they ask me how much weight I’ve lost and I’ve just started saying "idk I don’t pay attention bc I don’t care so you shouldn’t either. "

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Look her over real well then give her a big smile!

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“you’re getting fat”

"Yeah well you’re gonna be dead before long so your opinion isn’t that important :wink: "

:woman_shrugging:

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Tell her you didn’t notice.

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Life is too short to hold a grudge for something so silly- I would’ve told her she’s getting old, and laughed

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Say “you’re getting old but I’m kind enough not to mention that, do me the same courtesy”. I’m not nice and I have very little patience when it comes to mean people.

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Say, your face looks dehydrated as you age!

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You are allowed to have boundaries. It doesn’t matter if she’s your elder or not. All the old school thoughts about just being polite to your elders is BS!!!
Tell her how you feel, and if she continues to speak to you that way, it’s going to effect your relationship.
These “old” behaviors need to stop!!!
Don’t not push your feeling to the side to save someone else’s.
It’s really a form of bullying.

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Lord I would her have it for real

Thank you i hadnt noticed lol. Make a joke it takes them back and let it go.

Tell her starlight up stand up for yourself and see how fast she’ll stop saying crap like that make your feelings self heard.

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So my grandma made a comment on how much I ate while on vacation one time. I just blew it off and made a joke out of it. But if it really bothers you just tell her that it hurt your feelings and if she argues back let her know your or your kids won’t be coming around anymore. :woman_shrugging:

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Ugh my grandma used to do that and my grandaddy says comments about my weight and my mother’s weight… she probably feels like she’s just being honest and doesn’t want to lie but it still hurts. If she says it again say oh will you please be my personal chef and cook all my meals? That would help me so much!!
I mean… what can ya do? Especially with older folk…no filter :woman_shrugging:t3:

If someone said your getting fat I’d be like well that kinda happens when you pregnant :face_with_raised_eyebrow:
You could do tit for tat
"well your getting old but I have enough respect not to call you out on it. Cause thay would be rude to hurt someone’s feeling when they could just keep there mouth shut "
I’m sorry you have to deal with thus hun
Congrats on the baby :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

It’s your grandma. You are lucky you still have her. I’d give anything to have my grandma here. So she commented on your weight, forgive her and cherish her.

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Find humor in it…. I just love old folks!!! They say things that are on their mind… no harm in it, I’m sure!

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You are to sensitive… just say, yes I am… I’m pregnant

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I don’t know why some people think it’s ok to be so rude like that. She don’t know your circumstances. I have a cousin like that. We met with 2 other folks one time at a Hardee’s. I never got to go there. I ordered a cinnamon raisin biscuit with extra icing. I had just said to my Mama that I didn’t need it since I had lost but I was going to treat myself. Cuz decided to say I ought not eat that because I would be diabetic like her. I sat there seething and ate that biscuit and when I was done we left. I had not seen my cousin for a few years so I called her and as we talked she said how was my weight doing. I decided then that it’s just her to be that rude and I don’t need to be around it. I know you can’t do that because you love your Grandma but see if someone will talk to her for you and let her know that it hurt you or do it yourself unless you just want to consider the source and let it go. Best of luck to you sweetie

Tell grandma to shove it!

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Your feelings are very valid. With that being said, you expressed your opinion. I wouldn’t uninvite her but if she says anything about your weight (or anything negative really) I would say ‘if it bothers you that much feel free to leave’. You are your own worst enemy and you don’t need people telling you negative stuff. My Nana was very nasty and blunt like that (I really think that was just her generation). Be nice but don’t tolerate that!

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Be honest with her. I’d set her down and let her know you’re having a hard enough time on your own with your weight gain and you’d appreciate it if she would stop with the insulting comments that are only making you feel worse and is hurting your feelings. Let her know that you are asking her to stop with the comments as of now and if she doesn’t have anything good to say just don’t say anything at all. Let her know if she says anything to embarrass you at this function you will sever your ties with her and ask her to leave. If she chooses to ignore your wishes then I would do just that. :woman_shrugging:t3:

Some people sticks their foot in their mouth all the way to their goozle. But if it was me being sarcastic when she brought up my weight again I would tell her Grandma I may be fat but your old I can loose the weight you can loose you being old. I know it is disrespectful but its being disrespectful to you. Sometimes we have to hurt their feelings for them to feel the same way we do.

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Say so are you but I’m pregnant so what’s your excuse :joy:

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I delt with a person who was the way. I finally looked at them and said… Yes im fat. Ut i can loose mine… You’re being ugly what are you dojng about you’re problem… And yes it was a family member.

Just say " Thanks , so are you"

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Uhmm… well… of course you’re bigger, you’re pregnant…(?)…

If it bothers you that much and she won’t listen to you, try talking to someone older than you who could talk to her for you.

With some people in my family who are above 65, I have to have someone closer to their age talk to them because they still view me and others under 40 as kids… lol especially those of us who don’t have children of our own. Its like were not really adults until we have kids or something. Idk.

They only listen to folks who are from their time. And thats not even a guarantee… some are just stubborn.

You need to not sugar coat it though.
The truth can hurt, but needs to be said, even if it makes an old woman cry or get mad. If its something that is THAT important to you… you need to make her listen. And straight up tell her, stop it or don’t come to ‘xyz’ (sorry I forgot what the event was while typing… babyshower? Gender reveal?) … though, personally, I wouldn’t threaten that or threaten to not see the great grand babies over something like that (it’d have to be much bigger), that is still an option too. Sometimes thats enough to make someone stop.

A good thing to do too, is work on you. Focus on you. Start loving yourself and give yourself and your body the credit it deserves. Your body birthed a child and about to birth another… and thats beautiful. Your scars, your stretch marks are beautiful in their own ways… your extra squish was there to protect and comfort baby.
Some of us can’t have that.
Those who can, should cherish what they have and love it. Be grateful for it.

Thats just another way to look at your body and start to love yourself. :heart: everyones different and every situation is different…

But once you get to that point, those comments won’t bug you anymore. They can be brushed off. Ultimately… nobody else’s opinions matter when it comes to your body and your family… Only your own.

I would just say: “Yes, Grandma I am and I hate it.” “What can I do?” Maybe she has some good advise for you.

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I am overweight and I acknowledge it. If someone said I was fat, I would agree. As a society I think we are to easily hurt by the opinions or comments of others. Does her comment impact the way you continue with your life? My father is nearing 80, and I have learned that after all the shit he has been through in his life, he doesn’t even filter the stuff that comes out of his mouth, he says it how he sees it. Perhaps she didn’t mean it to be mean or rude, she was just speaking matter of factly. While we may see it as rude, she may not perceive it as such. Again at the end of the day you can not control how people act or the things that they say, you can only control how you react to it. If you are in fact over weight, and it bothers you, you have the power to change it, or try not to let it upset you.

Old people really dont give af :sweat_smile: they lived through ww2, the great depression and more. They dont have as much synovial fluid left in their joints, and can think of something spicy and get heart burn. Hurting someone’s feelings means nothing to them. Later in life you’ll laugh about this believe it or not. I know both my grandmothers had said things that had hurt my feelings at the time but now I laugh about it. One day you’ll miss the comments made because those few comments made that hurt for a time will mean nothing compared to all the good times yall had. It wasnt right of her to say what she said but I highly doubt you’ll get your apology for it. If she makes another comment you dont like, talk a little shit back in a playful way.

Wow. I’m sorry. If my gramma said that I’d have to say, “well we all have our problems…” and walk away . My mother was critical of me and it’s hard for me to talk to her now that she’s 94. I call and talk to her but words are hurtful.

Maybe she is worrying about your health my son was so over weight he had to have a lift chairs to getting up he passes away at age 60.

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If she doesnt care then she doesnt need to be around you!

Yeah that’s not for everybody to walk around you. That’s for you to fix in any way you see fit. If you’re uncomfortable being heavy, when safe, then lose it. If you’re fine then who cares what people say

Respond with your getting old…

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It’s always a touchy subject. Maybe u just need to be honest with her and tell her how it makes u feel

Wow, the comments on this, yikes. Being old is not an excuse for being cruel.

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Young one, don’t allow her the satisfaction with a negative reaction. As long as your happy, your family is happy - what does it matter what this woman says or feels. She doesn’t pay your bills does she - no - her drama is just that her drama - I say smile, young one- it makes people wonder what your up to​:wink:besides like you said - it’s her feelings- not yours. Opinions are like a$&h•les - everyone has one.:v:t4::sunflower:

Say “and you’re getting ugly” anr chuckle like it’s all a joke or say “and you’re getting old”. It’s just unkind.

I cut off my father for that because he just wouldn’t stop. I didn’t want him targeting my kids with it. I started with getting mean back but when that failed I noped out.

I would let her go to the party but if she’s says some thing mean make her leave

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Tell her "if you choose to attend the reveal, comments about my weight are not subject to discussion. If you ignore and cross this boundary, I will ask you to leave immediately and I will refrain from contact with you to protect my mental health. I do not appreciate such comments, so I hope you hear me clearly as this is important "

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Tell her you love her but to respect your feelings or don’t come. Her age, your size, bloodlines, reasons, NONE of that matters. No one should be around you if they are going to hurt you, especially AFTER you have expressed your feelings/concerns. Be firm! Best of luck and congratulations

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Honestly if my grandma talked to me like that id cutt her off thats for damn sure

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When she walks into your gender reveal tomorrow say wow aren’t you getting a bit chunky chunky see how she feels :slightly_smiling_face:

I feel for you, I really do. You are feeling bad enough without being reminded of the weight gain by anyone and being your grandma, makes it hurt much more. Being she is your grandma and you know her best, I say to you, to try and overlook her remarks due to her generation.
I am fat now, never used to be. I am fat due to a combination of health and a extremely neglected childhood, not being kind to me. I tell people myself, I am fat and indeed I, am. It is hoped they do not need to comment once I state the obvious. I have one work colleague who has referred to me as Oompaloompa, on many occasions, from Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory, it has not endeared this work colleague, I can assure you. If this was lifestyle being morbidly obese, I would say fair enough, but it is health and nothing I can do about it.
I wish you well, disregard your grandma’s comments, I am sure she is concerned for your wellbeing and nothing nasty intended.

When she says it again, say something equally as not nice…. Your looking really old …… then smile and walk away. She might stop saying hurtful things if she receives it as well xx good luck.

I’d make comments about her age in response but I’m petty :woman_shrugging::rofl:

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Reply: I’m pregnant. What’s YOUR excuse ??

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“Grandma …. You’re so oooollllldddd…. Those wrinkles…. Geez :unamused:…. I better start my skin care regiment now… I do not look forward to this! ” :relieved:

Everyone is different n the way they react, The way they feel, just the way they R. Plz remember that and love her and yourself, it’s important.
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