My friends kids have no manners when they come to my house...advice?

It’s sad you even have to ask this. Their mom should handle it. Instead of candy etc…offer filling items so they don’t eat as much?

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I’d lock my room but other than that, my house is my friends kids’ house🤷🏽‍♀️

Agree with others in the comments, going in someone’s bedroom is a no go! :no_good_woman:t5:

And mom took a nap? Uh no!

I think investing in some relatively cheap locks could save your friendship with minimal effort on your part.

Lock everything and talk to your friend

If there mother is that blind, or chooses to be that ignorant in not seeing how disrespectful her children are, they would not be aloud to return to my house. PERIOD!!! IT IS WHAT IT IS!!

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SPEAK UP! Tell her to let you know before they come over. Tell them no…you have things to do. Sounds like she’s using you, and flat out Tell her YOUR finances are none of HER business…

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Lock your pantry and be firm with them.

I would start going to there house for visit and when the mom asks why you aren’t willing to host I would be honest. I would explain the WHOLE picture

It sounds like mom is a major part of the problem.

Put child locks on everything and reprimand them! If she doesn’t agree with your rules, tell her to feed them before they come over!

My fiancés kids were like that w me when we first started dating cause I like to have everything out for my kids they have an open snack closet but they know only one or two a day so when him and his 2 kids would come over I’d let them have one like junk snack & watch a movie w my kids when they can all have one and if they’re hungry until the next meal they can have fruit I always have bananas apples & oranges… they stopped snacking so much lol together we have 4 kids sooo they’d run thru all my snacks hella quick if they could

Bad Behavior in my house gets corrected by ME… especially if the parents act like they don’t care. Lock your bedroom doors and fridge.

Your house your rules, tell the parents exactly what you expect out of the kids and if it’s not followed they ( the kids) can’t come back. Or you can reprimand the kids.

That’s,just being very rude. Mother should teach her kids manners while she learns manners as well

I wonder if they are getting enough to eat at home?

Do. Not. Let. It. Go!!! They have no manners! If their parents aren’t going to teach them, then you need too. Especially if they’re in your house.

Tell the mom your rules. Ask her to tell her children, but you tell them too. If they don’t abide by them, get new friends!

Don’t feel bad about letting anyone know how you feel.

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Absolutely!! She should correct them or they will not be welcome anymore

She doesn’t sound like a good friend honestly. She’s taking advantage of your relationship. I wouldn’t allow any of them back in my house.

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Don’t let the lil f’ers in your house

Instead of fast food or pizza make them a meal … just talk to the mom and the kids tell them they don’t belong in your room and to ask before eating stuff


Correct it yourself one snack rule for your house any other requests will be denied you are not permitted to help your self if u do you can go home

Either she is using you or she may be broke and not have a way to feed her kids. Just communicate with her.

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i would bring that up to the mom and stop giving them all your snacks.

Kids today are not taught manners or respect in our days we would never dared go,to someone Else’s house and behave like that.

She is using you and she isn’t your friend.


Ditch the friend. Shes a shitty friend and sounds like mom…

I would start by asking them in front of their mother if she feeds them at home. Say something like “by the way you’re always eating here it feels like you’re starved at home” then turn to her & say “you know you can call 211 for food pantries & help”. If they say they’re fed at home, there’s no problem with their supply etc id say why do you come here & take my kids food? Then set clear rules. They don’t go into bedrooms (this is a major pet peeve of mine. People who think they can go wherever they want in your home. To me it should be common decency that you don’t go into private areas like bedrooms, closets etc), they don’t take anything without being offered. They don’t even ask. If you want them to have something you will offer it. Then tell them if they violate your rules they will not come back. Stick to it. Mom will argue “kids will be kids”. Tell her yes they will be but it’s her job to use their childhood to teach them. If she doesn’t like your rules she can stop bringing her kids over. Yes it’s harsh. You have to be or you’ll be walked over.

Your house your rules…tell the kids no when you want. If you care about them, teaching them to be better humans is not a bad thing.

Ma’am listen, I don’t mind giving food to kids, but in my house if you want more than what’s given to you then your PARENT should provide more of what’s asked… im not an open pantry and food needs to last the month with 3 hungry boys I don’t have time to argue about the snacks in my house that they don’t bring or buy :woman_shrugging:t2: you are clearly a good friend and if this is happening more than once then you are being used.

Get a backbone and throw them to the curb

Teach those kids it isn’t their house and it’s rude to do that

Oh Hell To The No! I’d be putting a stop to that BS Real Quick! Screw that kind of disrespectful friendship😳

So if you know they are over make little bins( If you can afford it ) and say these are your snacks once they are gone they are gone for the week/month whatever you wanna do

I’ve seen this post before… it bothers me so much that people actually act like this and don’t correct their children when they do the same. But it all comes down to the parenting, which she is clearly lacking on. It’s no one’s business how you can “afford formula for YOUR baby but can’t afford pizza for them? L like is that a joke? first of all, it’s your baby so you will figure out a way to get them what they need & second, who are they to ask such a rude question? Eating all the snacks ?? And their mother just sleeps while they eat everything in your house? Obviously you want little bellies to be full, but she’s taking full on advantage and the OP shouldn’t let this person over anymore. Just my opinion.

My house my rules. They should never leave their mothers sight. If needed , for now, lock all bedroom doors. Office doors etc. if the mother gets bugged constantly then maybe she’ll realize. If they play in your kids rooms while there, when they get ready to leave, stop them!! Ok Clean Up time, makes sure all is left the way it was when they got to your home. If the mother doesn’t get the message , maybe the kids will. Kids need to have rules and consequences, it’s a visit not a temporary babysitting job for you!

When kids come to your house they are your kids so treat them as your own. Don’t take their shit and tell them absolutely no

If y’all are close enough to where she can take a nap while her kids roam the house then you are able
to tell her kids to knock it tf off! Girl, those kids will walk ALL OVER you if you don’t put boundaries up NOW! Tell your friend to feed her damn kids before she comes over next time!

Really? Are these kids raised by wolves :unamused:

Seems like your friend only just brings her kids around to be fed.
Have a conversation with her. Tell her that her children’s behavior is unacceptable as you will never allow your kids to behave that way.
Ask her to bring snacks for the kids when she visits.
I don’t know about you. But I taught my child to always take snacks or tea-time treats when visiting. You simply can not arrive on someone’s doorstep "empty-handed. This is just simple etiquette.

Should your words fall on deaf ears, tell her that she and her kids aren’t welcome in your home if they can’t respect boundaries.

I have no problem feeding my friend’s kids a meal, desert and a snack. But I am not ordering take-out and they are certainly not eating me out of house & home. And they are certainly not allowed to go wondering through the bedrooms or my pantry/cupboards.

Sounds like she brings them around to eat by your place and not hers…

She probably already knows but bring it up anyway!

At first I was wondering how old these kids are but then I realized, it just doesn’t even matter!
I don’t understand parents who don’t teach or enforce manners. But if mom isn’t going to do it, you need to set boundaries in YOUR home. Bedrooms would be locked. There’s no reason for them to be in there. If they beeline it to the pantry, stop them (step in front of them if necessary) and ask “can I help you”? If they say they are looking for snacks I would just say “in THIS house, we ASK first”. I’d probably go so far as to say “oh, I’m sorry, you finished them all the last time you were here”. As far as the fridge, I have a strap on mine (my dog figured out how to open it) without a lock. I’d put it on the top of the door so they can’t reach or easily open it. And if they ask, my response would be honest with a joking tone “I have a hard time keeping up with all the food people eat when they come to visit”. I don’t know how you haven’t said it already, but my thought was “do your parents feed you “???
If you know they are coming, I would prepare a dish of snacks and leave them out for them with the “warning” to make them last because that’s all there is.
I would most DEFINITELY bring it up to mom. Tell her that you are going to need to set boundaries because you can’t afford all of the eating they do when they visit. Especially when you have kids questioning you as to why you can’t afford to buy them pizza if you can afford to feed your own kids! I’m not sure that mom will be much help given that she clearly knows how her kids are but I think you still need to say something.
Maybe I’m just really old fashioned, but there’s not a chance that my kids would even TRY to go through others’ rooms/belongings especially when we’re guests in their home. I would also be BRINGING snacks!

I could never not parent my kids where they thought this was acceptable. This isn’t a kid issue, it’s a parent issue.

IT is totally acceptable for you to let them know right in front of their mother that this is your house and at your house you have certain rules. Lay those rules out as soon as they get there and let them know that if they can’t respect your rules, they won’t be able to visit.


Tell them to eat before they come over an stop being nosey .Put xlax in candy bag in bed room

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Can I ask how old the children are?

You set some boundaries and stop pretending it is ok if it isn’t.

That’s bad parenting on mom’s part embarrassing and ridiculous!! I cldnt be her friend and they most definitely absolutely would NEVER come to my house.

Oooooh :rage: reading this made me pissed off for you. Do NOT feel terrible for feeling the way that you do because you have every right to feel that way! It is INCREDIBLY rude!
I sure as hell wouldn’t let it go because I’ll be damned if any child is going to come into my house and disrespect not only me but my house and boundaries as well. Nuh uh. I don’t care whose child it is. You should definitely bring it up to her - if I were you and I saw that my “friend” wasn’t going to correct her kids and teach them manners as well as respect, I’d be stepping in and doing it. Any child that comes to my house, I treat them as my own and they don’t get special treatment. I wasn’t raised like that and I don’t raise my kids to be like that either. My house, my rules and if my “friend” didn’t like it, then that friendship is done with.

Lock up your rooms before they arrive or hide all your snacks!!!

Sounds like she’s using you as a baby sitter because she’s sick of having to handle her out of control kids. Ask that she pack them their own snacks before leaving to your house. I wouldn’t deal with that at all. Groceries are expensive now adays. The fact that they’re going ham on all your kids snacks and she isn’t offering to replace it tells me she is taking advantage of you.

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Wow she like demanded you ordered and paid for their food smh no mam you need to nip this in the bud like last week, they walking all over you. Boundaries need to be set and if friend gets offended🤷‍♀️then that’s proof she’s just using you. The audacity to ask how you pay for your baby’s formula no f**king way that would be me. Going in your drawers let alone your bedroom no way💯

You tell the kids “ENOUGH…yall can eat at your own dang house. No entering my bedroom or itll be the last time youre here. Learn some manners and respect or stay the hell away !” N the Mom clearly is making you feel bad and questioning finances ?? Um no…thats none of your business and your children are not mine to feed ! Do you ever go to her house ? Tell her its a playdate and not a free for all… or that you can take turns going to her place AND YOU NAP n eat her snacks ! Theyre kids…they can be told ! Yours or not…they dont like it ? Leave. Lol

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It’s your house. Why aren’t you nipping it in the butt

That’s not a friend hun, that’s a user.

They treat your house like a grocery store because you allow it. You need to set BOUNDARIES. IDGAF how close you and their mother are, her kids have NO business being all up in your bedroom going through your things. They should NOT be coming in your home running straight to your pantry. Then your “friend” had the AUDACITY to ask you how you can afford formula for YOUR baby but not pizza for HER greedy a** kids??? At that point you should’ve cussed her a** ALL THE WAY OUT. You have to set the rules for YOUR home and if they don’t want to follow them then they don’t need to come to your house anymore. :woman_shrugging:t4:

Oh oh first off it’s not your job to feed HER kids on the pizza bs . Second lock the room period . Third 2 snacks and that is IT . Mom don’t like it oh well then tell her well since you expect your kids to eat all my food you can start going on on the bill .

I would have a talk with mom. Let her know you cannot afford to be feeding her kids snacks all day long. Let her know her kids asking you to order them food is a bit much and she should have a talk with them about this. Let her know you do not appreciate her kids going through your house and personal belongings. Going through other people’s drawers is rude. Digging around like that is rude.
As to having them around, place a baby gate to your kitchen when they are coming over. Let them know you only have so many snacks you can offer them. And once those snacks are gone, there is no more snacks they can have. Be firm when letting them know they cannot help themselves in your kitchen and demand all the snacks. Remind them they are not allowed to go into bedrooms. We stay in the living/guest rooms while visiting. Wondering around and digging are not allowed.

Tell her you can’t afford to feed her kids snacks all the time never mind ordering in for them . Keep a couple of snacks for them and lock away everything else . Have no go zones like your bedroom and they are not to help themselves to your stuff .

I’d tell the pal to sort her fucking kids out

Tell them no. You don’t have to bring it up with her it’s your house. Also tell them what you buy for your baby is none of their business. Ask your mom to buy you pizza.

We only keep healthy snacks in our house, so when my kids go to their auntie’s house they also raid her pantries saying “you have the good snacks”. They’re not hungry, they are just excited to have access to those. So in your position I would either hide all the good snacks when they come over, or have a conversation directly with the kids telling them that you will not be feeding them while they are at your house other than them choosing one snack

I agree lock the doors, get childproof locks for cabinets. This friend asked you how you afford formula if you can’t feed her kids?? Wow that’s nerve. I would be just as rude back and say look bring your kids their own food when they come here

I had this same problem with my friend’s daughter. After telling my friend repeatedly & her daughter’s behavior not changing, I just started yelling at her like she was my own kid! Lol
My friend & her daughter looked at me weird at first but they knew I was serious. I told them both, if she’s going to act like she lives here then I’m going to treat her like my own kids… & my kids have rules to follow!


This is a friend problem, not a kid problem.

Her acknowledgment that her kids will eat a whole box of fruit snacks at one time or her comment about how you can afford formula, which is a necessity, but can’t afford to order pizza, which isn’t a necessity, shows that she is well aware of what her kids are doing and just doesn’t care. Especially with not only letting the kids help themselves to what’s in your fridge and pantry, but to allow them to root through drawers in your private bedroom.

Do you frequent her home as well? It’s possible that her kids have the bare minimum and don’t get the luxury of snacks and take out, but that’s still not your responsibility.

I would cut back on visits with her or I would start telling her kids no, since she won’t. If you know they’re coming over, put together a snack bag for when they’re there and what you put in the bag is what they get. Keep all other doors closed and locked if need be.


You shouldn’t have to pick up or hide your children’s snacks. Tell her and her children that they can’t dig in the cabinets, refrigerator or go into your room when they come over. If they want a snack, you ask the parent of the house for it. If she doesn’t like it, she can stay home.

No , you bring that shit up ,and tell her to bring her own snakes for her kids, your getting used…

Serious talk with the mom because apparently she doesn’t know manners also. Your house is not a free for all or charity. You have to set the boundaries in your own home. If they have no food, share what you can afford and suggest a food bank. Limit the children to 1 snack. This behavior will continue until you put your foot down. You’ll find out if she is a true friend.


It is not your place to feed them it’s their parents place to teach them manners set out a few things and say sorry you ate it all no more groceries are too high to feed our own family but to always feed others impossible sorry I love children but there’s a limit on how they act stay where I can see you and keep out of rooms you don’t belong that’s what’s wrong with kids today no rules my house my rules


Shut all the doors except the ones they need to go into, when they go to open, be like ‘no we aren’t going in there let’s go in here…’
If they say they want a drink or hungry you can say ‘ok if you would like to take a seat here… I’ll grab you something’

I would deffo bring it up to their mum as might not even be aware, also though if you put rules in place at your house and set boundaries they will follow them otherwise they don’t come over anymore :slightly_smiling_face:

We had that happen at our camper this summer. This kid we barely knew came right in, opened the cabinets/fridge, and was browsing lol I nipped that immediately… I wasn’t mean but made sure he knew the boundaries. Maybe you can have a designated basket of snacks meant for them for when they come over. Does she not have the means to feed them properly or are they just excited for your good snacks? I would definitely say something. I’m shocked the mom allows them to do that. Eeeeeekkkkk Especially going through your stuff like that.


I wouldn’t lock up a thing in my own home but that’s just me. I probably wouldn’t have them back over at all but if you do, tell them clearly and firmly that your room is off limits. Period. They are to ask and not go into your cabinets, refrigerator or anything else. Just tell them, tell her.


Woah. My first question is… are they a struggling family? Are they low key coming to you for help, to be fed, warm, etc? If not, it’s blatant disrespect, from the children and the mother, and boundaries need to be set immediately. You’ve received good advice here. I’d have a hard time, personally, wanting them to ever come over again :frowning:

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I was in a similar situation it’s annoying cause I totally understand when you said we were raised differently. I would not allow my children to act in such a manner . I just distanced myself and if we hang out I’ll say meet at a park or something.


Wouldnt be having them over anymore…go to her house and do the same lol


So. Next time they come over. Go over the rules, STERNLY! SHES(THEIR MOM) isn’t gonna say nothing, she probably just happy to get out of her own house away from their chaos. Children respond to rules, and if they break them, give them a real punishment. No tv, 5 mins in the corner, etc. Your friend probably needs this and more so your company. Lay down the rules, not allowed in ANY room , except the bathroom, living room, etc. Close your doors, all of them except the ones they’re allowed to enter. Make them some pb&j sandwiches and offer them cookies(you can do during their visit (IF) THEY BEHAVE, ETC

I would definitely have a talk with friend there mother. Than set rules for them. They maybe should just one snack. Stay out of bedrooms. Ec… A true friend would want to hear how u feel. And would set boundaries. The respect for other people houses isn’t taught anymore? It’s sad but true. Stand up for ur home

I wouldn’t lock up my house. I’m not going to feel like a prisoner in my own home. Set boundaries, and the moment those boundaries get crossed, that’s it! You do not get to come into MY home and disrespect me.

We all raise our kids differently. definitely tell your friend. if she is a true friend she won’t get mad as long as you don’t bash her kids

Tell their mom to bring them food or not come back. She’s bringing them there so she doesn’t have to pay to feed them.

I let my grandkids have a snack and then we pack a small goodie bag they take home for later. That way they don’t eat so much junk at one time. Nana also has the best snacks and they love packing a few things to take with them. Good luck!

Klepto Kyle doesn’t need to be going through people’s drawers. What if he opens a nightstand for candy and there’s a pistol there? Mom needs to step up and lead her circus

I would never have them over again. The mom seems oblivious to their mooching…

I would flat die if I went to someone’s house and my kids did this!! Mom should be making them have some manners and respect and if she doesn’t then they are at my house and will follow my rules or not be welcomed back. Food is too dang expensive to be gone through that fast and I would have had a fit if they went in my room and rummaged through stuff. My own kids ask before going to a drawer in my room.

Be the adult here and tell them what rooms are off limit and put treats that are for that day out and stash the rest .talk to your friend about this.thats the problem in today’s world entitlement and being afraid to politely state your mind

I don’t have very many girl friends but my best friends kids are like mine. They know the rules. They get treated like my kids. If they are hungry they know where the food is but they also know we are not snacking all day long! Its all about rules and well mannered kids.

Start doing outings w your friend and her kids and not having them over :woman_shrugging:t4: that’s just plain rude and disrespectful on both the kid and their moms parts.

They are obviously hungry at their house. I would be so upset about the nightstand :sob: sorry to ask… but is your “friend” a good mom? I personally, could nottt deal with that being a reoccurring issue.

I just tell her not to come by anymore…or ask her to meet u at a park

Make a snack tray that you put out when they come. Say you can get snacks from here only and please don’t go digging through other drawers. When the snacks are out in the gray you set out, that’s it. No more! Put a lock on the pantry up high. Also lock your bedroom doors. Address it with their mom too. She needs to respect your place and boundaries. If she doesn’t, have those other measures set in place or just don’t invite them over tbh.

Make a snack tray that you put out when they come. Say you can get snacks from here only and please don’t go digging through other drawers. When the snacks are out in the gray you set out, that’s it. No more! Put a lock on the pantry up high. Also lock your bedroom doors. Address it with their mom too. She needs to respect your place and boundaries. If she doesn’t, have those other measures set in place or just don’t invite them over tbh.

On hun
Take it from me (I’m a nan)
You need to nip this in the bud
Right now
She is taking advantage of you , your friendship, and your beautiful heart
You need to have a sit down discussion with her and lay it on the line for her
Tell her how much they are eating, how they are constantly helping themselves
To your pantry
Infact tally it up each time and ask her to reimburse you
Also ask her to provide food for them
When they come over
Its best to do it now before it gets to the point that it puts the friendship at risk
Also fill your pantry with healthy snacks
Tell the kids and their mom
Its a junk food free zone
As you want to get healthy
As for them stealing your snacks out of your draws
Hide them in the 1 place I guarantee you 100% they will never think to look
The laundry (works for hubbies as well)

Bring it up to the mom. Don’t stay shut. Otherwise it’s gonna keep happening. If she get offended that’s on her. Her kids should know boundaries and ask permission for things. Or have a certain section for snacks for when there over and that’s all they can choose from if they don’t like it. Don’t eat it! :woman_shrugging:t2::woman_shrugging:t2::woman_shrugging:t2:

My response about the pizza probably would have been rude. :woman_shrugging:t3: “I’d probably be able to afford pizza for everyone if I wasn’t replacing all of MY kids snacks after every (or every other) visit from you.”

Honestly I’d start locking my bedroom door and limiting snacks. Give 2 snacks and then tell then they have to wait till meal time after that, if she has a problem with that tell her she’s welcome to bring snacks for her for their visit.

My kids do in and out of my moms pantry like that when we go over there. But I buy the snacks that are in there for them. And I replace whatever I can of hers that they do it. And buy her extra food throughout the month also, even when we don’t visit.

Tell the mum to bring a bread or something, some kind of snacks or at least a contribution of some sort. This just sounds like she’s taking advantage, she knows what her kids are like and she’s enabling their behaviour.

They wouldn’t be coming to my house anymore. 

If they are your friends kids I’d treat them like I treat mine. “Sorry no more snacks right now you’ll eat them all.” :woman_shrugging:t3: I’d definitely talk to your friend about it too. She should keep her kids in check when they are at your house. Food cost money. Sorry not sorry.

Tell her how you feel. If she has a problem with your feelings she isn’t a friend imo. She shouldn’t be using you to feed her kids

That isn’t a friend lol cmon. If she isn’t gonna say something. You should, your food, your house. Stop inviting them over if you can’t tell them no! Essentially it’s your fault for allowing it to continue to happen.

Take your kids over there to raid their cupboards