What would you do in this situation? I have a friend who brings her children over often. I love her kids. They just don’t have any manners. They go through drawers in our bedrooms to find candy. I had a bag of dark chocolate in my nightstand that they went through, found, and ate before I even realized what happened. They’re always opening the refrigerator and just taking whatever they please. They treat my house like it’s a grocery store. The second they come in they go straight to my pantry and pull out some snacks. I obviously wouldn’t mind at all if it weren’t every 10 minutes they’re back in there getting more. I’m not exaggerating when I say they ask for food at least 10-15 times while they are here. They always joke that we “have the good snacks at our house” They asked for fruit snacks for the second time in a 15 minute time span and I said “dang y’all ate those fast” and their mom says “oh they’ll have the whole box finished off by the time we leave” she fell asleep the other day and I let her nap while the kids played. In her 30 minute nap they asked me to go get them food from a local fast food place and then asked me to order them a pizza. I told them I didn’t have any money and she started asking how I afforded my babies formula if I couldn’t order them pizza. I feel terrible for feeling annoyed with them but I was raised so much different and was taught that those behaviors were considered rude. Do I bring it up to their mom? Or just let it go?
Set rules and make boundaries with them especially the mother… She doesn’t like it, let them go Don’t let them make you feel guilty!! Prayers
I would make rules for them when they come over. If you want something, you ask first. Do not go through anything… Set clear expectations and enforce them. I’m a teacher and kids do this at school too! Rules had expectations are a must.
Lock it up! That way you can set boundaries on what they can get!
Wow… I would not invite them back over! Time to end that friendship until something changes.
Any child that’s comes to my house will be treated just like my own and I will get on them like my own. They have the same rules as mine.
Dont let them in your house!!!
I believe you need a new friend…your being taken advantage of and those kids aren’t leaning a thing about manners and will grow up to be disrespectful adults
My mom had a VERY similar situation like this with a few of my friends growing up. She made a snack box for us when they came over and when it was gone it’s gone. The rest of the snacks she would lock up in her closet and only she and my dad had a key. As far as your friend you need to speak up because it will cause a form of resentment towards her unfortunately. When they ask how can you afford this but not that. Simply tell them that’s adult business and my money is not your business.
You have been allowing it so make sure rooms closed or sit outside have a fruit platter ready or plate of sandwiches if they are in rooms going through draws there not being supervised only you can say anything
I would be setting those boundaries with the kids myself if they’re comfortable enough around you to be there all the time and raid your fridge then I don’t see a problem with you having your own house rules
Oh they wouldn’t be coming to my house acting like that. I’d put them out quick!
Set boundaries. Let the mom know you aren’t okay with it and hopefully she will discipline them. If not it is YOUR house I would discipline them or tell them that’s not allowed in your house
I would make them something filling like a sandwich then after that they could have a snack if still hungry and then say there nothing now till lunch or dinner which ever is 1st x
I would lock bedroom doors. I would have a couple sandwiches and/or snacks out when they come over. If you have a pantry where you keep your snacks, I’d lock that too.
All good suggestions! I agree….1 or 2 snacks,period……and no business going into or through stuff in your bedroom! Keep us posted!
She is not your friend she is using you. The nap is totally weird! She tells her kids to eat whatever and do whatever. Them even going in your bedroom is weird. That’s off limits. Treat them as your own. They should have the same rules as your own kids. Your “friend” won’t have the same opinion but that doesnt matter. Get rid of this so said friend.
You absolutely bring it up to your friend. I’d be dishing out some manners myself too. This is your house, not theirs. I’d be livid if my kids behaved that way at anyone’s house, even ours.
The minute they went into your bedroom, and through your drawers a line was crossed. That’s when mama should of stepped in
Although I’m all for the idea of not having them back over if they can’t follow rules. I also think that this could be a learning experience for everybody if you have the patience.
That’s a friend that you don’t need as soon as you put down your foot that friendship will end …
Maybe instead of coming to your house, go out. Maybe the park and just say let’s have a picnic I’ll bring (whatever to the picnic) and how about you bring (whatever she wants) to make a fun picnic. That way your both bringing something. Maybe go to McDonalds that has a play place, they can burn off energy and everyone can buy their own meals. The library has a lot of activities call and see what is age appropriate for them. Our library has Lego club, reading club, scavenger hunt. It’s usually free. Try to meet up after lunch so the kids have can fun and your not stressed. If she wants to come to your house, just say you want to get out, before winter sets in. It’s fall time, time be outdoors. Once winter sets in your stuck inside!
By the mom’s response I’d say she’s using you for food. Set out snacks for them lock up the rest in your room with lock. If she gets butthurt tell her you are not a restaurant nor maid service for her and her kids.
Maybe your friend doesn’t have food at home ? It’s possible or it’s possible they are just that comfortable with you like your own kids would be . I mean mom is pretty comfortable she’s napping while you watch her kids . I think if it’s just annoying maybe let it slide. Do they mind otherwise ? Do they tear things up or cause problems with your own kids ?
You need to set the rules. Right now they think it is a free for all at your house because nothing is said. I find it odd your friend took a nap at your house. I could not imagine doing that! Who asked how you could afford baby formula? The child? It’s none of their business & you don’t have to buy them fast food
I would pick up the majority of snacks and if they ask where are all the snacks tell them they ate them all. Groceries are too expensive to have to feed them in that manner. And you bedroom (adult bedroom with adult things) should be off limits!
The fist time they head to the kitchen you tell them the kitchen is closed right now. It is not snack time. It is your house you set the boundaries and the rules. If your friends kids say anything you can respectfully remind them they are a guest and there are rules in your house that they have not been following. Deal with your friend after if she says anything.
Sounds like you need better friends. You’re being used.
Honestly I’d tell ur friend if she is gunna bring her kids with her to visit to pack food/snacks for them as ur not responsible to feed them. I’d also tell ur friend until her kids can show manners and be respectful in ur home they are not welcome. I understand kids can be hungry but sounds like they get away with this anywhere they go id put my foot down.
Start by getting a “back bone” and telling your friend that you are no longer letting kids to run wild and get into things
Then tell the kids the same put your foot down and stick to it. Also, set out one snack for each kid and tell them no more, their mom can either bring other snacks for them or take them home and feed them
You so need to set out boundaries that they need to learn to respect. You definiely need to talk to the mom and let her know you’re serious. Maybe like others have said set up a snack box and lock up everything else if they can’t learn to respect the rules. If they can’t or won’t I’d be telling that mother they’re not welcome over anymore until they do.
Just set a snack time and say “sorry it isn’t snack time yet” and also mention “only one of those we have to make them last all week” my kids would eat all our snacks in a day too if we let them. But I wouldn’t let them do this at someone else’s house either. Set some boundaries.
Tell her I don’t mind the visit but I purchase the food for my family. When I would go visit my friends shoot I would bring my own groceries for the kids, toys and little tv ect that way they have there own and not bothering others
Always took our own snacks . Children would never have thought to be in bedrooms of anyone. Ate outside or kitchen Manley. Set your boundaries n stick to them
That mom knows exactly what she and her kids are doing. They are taking advantage of you. I would not have them over anymore. Meet at a park for kids to play
I wouldnt have them over anymore!
I would absolutely not tolerate this! The first day they did it would have been the last. You need to speak up. Next time they come over and go straight for the pantry, say “we all need to have a talk” and set your rules and boundaries. Shame on their mom for allowing them to act that way. And if it runs the friendship, it doesn’t sound like it’s a great one anyway.
Maybe ask your friend to feed them before they come over?.
Sounds like they’re hungry and underfed at home so she’s bringing them round to feed them on your food. I’d ask the mom of she’s struggling to feed them in a nice empathetic way, if it’s not that I’d offer healthy snacks and hide all treats, it might be she only feeds them healthy food so they’re craving and stealing snacks
I would’ve tell your friend If you and your kids don’t respect my home and rules don’t come over
In my opinion there is 2 ways to handle this.
- Teach them. Use that time to mold them into good humans because obviously their parents are slacking.
- Ban them from your house.
Establish rules and boundaries and when you know they are coming over, tell their mother to bring enough snacks for them
I’d stop inviting them all over for one and if it comes to it set boundaries with the mom.
If you come to my house and let your children run wild, I will be letting them know right in front of their mother! This is the way we do things here, you may have a couple of snacks, but not unlimited, even if they don’t get it at home, there’s no excuse for bad manners and that includes the mama. Let any kid even my own go through my drawers and its a done deal.
Set boundaries. Your house, your rules.
Your house your rules. I would ask her to chip in some money if the kids are gonna eat like that. As far as how you can or cannot afford something is really none of her concern. Do you go to her house and behave in the same manner?
Well shame on you for allowing it it’s what you allow that’s why they do
Hmmm! Mom may be taking advantage of you. How dare she Expect you to buy take out. She should buy, since there at ur house n her kids.
I would boldly sit this mom down and lay out rules at your house if they don’t comply they are not to visit. Why go through all this for someone else kids. Where do your authority began? Be for real and stop hiding your emotions for the sake of friendship. For a trus friend would discipline her kids at other people homes.
Kids today are not taught respect or manners in
If it bothers you then say something there is no way I would let that go on in my house
If you’re in my home, my rules are being enforced. If your friend is comfortable to nap on your couch…it shouldn’t be a problem for you to enforce your rules and boundaries with her kids. This sounds like being taken advantage of, in my opinion…because it is rude behavior and she brushed it off without correcting them. I would probably set out a snack or light meal and once it’s gone…it’s gone. Maybe some cheap finger foods…cheese, crackers, deli meat, grapes. If they still ask for other stuff…they’re not hungry and don’t need a snack. I’m not against sharing and being hospitable, but I won’t be taken advantage of. Set out what you’re willing to share, and eliminate the option of rummaging.
I’m sorry but the second she made the comparison between your baby’s formula and ordering pizza would have turned me off the friendship. The entitlement is real
Yes, bring it up, and also set some rules for the kids. To the kids. No going into your bedroom being first.
I would start meeting in public places like a park and act like ur place is being fumigated. If they have to come over at all, set out q few snacks, make an easy meal that everyone will eat. Don’t let them run roughshod over you! They are acting rude because u don’t set boundaries. So don’t let them come over much. Be too busy
I had this issue with my stepsons and eventually it catapulted into stealing personal items, lying, and total disrespect.
I would tell the mom and the kids “You have no business in my bedroom, and if you want snacks you need to ask.”. I would give them 1-2 snacks, depending on how long they’re there, and tell them no more. It’s nice that her kids are comfortable at your house. However, there’s nothing wrong with setting boundaries. I’d also tell the friend that what I can or cannot afford is none of her business, but I’m not obligated to spend my money on pizza for her kids. Seems to me she’s the whole problem. No wonder her kids are so tacky
Your friend is taking advantage of you. You need to address the situation before it gets too out of hand (sounds like it already has) and ruins your friendship. Its not your place to feed someone elses children.
Bring it up to mom. I’m sure she’ll take offense given that ridiculous stance she had at the end of your post and it could ruin the friendship, but groceries are expensive girl and they’re all being rude, mom included.
Say, “no sorry, we have to make these last all week” it is okay to say no. I would offer them fruit or something else instead.
Maybe they dnt have much food at home or only the necessities spme kids dnt have the luxury of snaky snacks at home ! Id speak w ur friend n make sure they afed n speak w ur friend before theh come over n lay down the rules when they do get there
That’s not your friend. “How can you afford to feed your kids if you can’t feed mine” reeks of entitlement and taking advantage of you. She let it slip right there. That’s what your worth to her. Feeding her kids at your expense.
Sorry but lock up the house when they come over or don’t invite them over at all
I always feed my kids before going to a friends house. Snacks are up to the adults of the house as well. If we’re staying for a meal then it’s different.
Speak up! Set boundaries! Get a better friend!
I’d be talking to the mother or the children wouldn’t be allowed over anymore. It’s not the kids fault at all it’s all on the parents
You really need to make rules about them eating so much.
Tell the Mom to stop them,
If she gets mad, then tell her to teach her kids some. Manners.
Locking one’s bedroom door and pantry shouldn’t be necessary. You need to sit down with them and especially with their mother and go over the rules of your house. To remind them, put a “Keep Out” sign on your door. Set clear consequences: if they go somewhere they shouldn’t, they can’t come over for a week. If it keeps happening, warn them that if it happens again, they won’t be welcome in your home anymore. The same is true of their mother. If she tolerates this behavior, she won’t be welcome anymore either.
I’m also wondering if her kids raid your pantry because their own is fairly empty. Or perhaps their mom doesn’t buy snacks that kids really like. Most items sold in snack packs are pretty expensive. And asking you to order a pizza? That’s weird. Is their mom struggling with a budget? Or - given that she napped on your couch - is she depressed or overwhelmed? I’d like to think that no parent is this bad. It’s certainly possible, but I have to wonder if there’s another explanation.
We have set snack times because my kids would definitely make a meal out of snacks if I let them. As for the bedroom thing, we don’t allow kids in our room other than my own. If we have friends or cousins over they are not allowed to go In my room. This became a rule after my nephew (2 at the time) found a box of condoms and I found all the kids in my Closet trying to blow rhem up like balloons but I will say it sounds like your issues are with the mom, not the kids. Eating a ton of snacks and going through people’s stuff is typical kid behavior. It’s up to the parent to tell them that that’s not okay, and she doesn’t seem to be doing that.
I would be stating MY HOUSE RULES starting the second they come inside the next time. And tell mom beforehand what your rules will be. One snack per child per visit and if they want more she needs to bring extra. Food is too $$$$ to be feeding extra entitled kids. If that child said to me how can I afford formula for my baby and not pizza for them? First of all, y’all aren’t my kids so go ask your momma to buy you pizza.
My bedroom was off limits to MY kids, so you best be sure it would be off limits to hers. Time out and kick out would be the options. Sounds like your friend is seriously taking advantage of you!
I would definitely say something. Start putting the “good snacks” where they can’t reach. Lock bedroom doors or make sure to say they are off limits. My friends kids feel welcome at my house and I don’t mind if they grab a snack, but this sounds just plain rude.
It sounds like they are hungry. It wouldn’t surprise me if your “friend” comes to yours just for the kids to eat. I would mention it i think it’s disrespectful going through anyones home. If your friend don’t feel ashamed about her kids going through your cupboards and saying they will finish the whole lot then she shouldn’t feel ashamed about you mentioning it to her. I would also put all snacks out of sight just leave a few. Your home your rules! x
I bought a 3 tiered plastic set of drawers… it’s 18” wide & I go to the dollar tree & I spend $60 on snacks & I get a 50ct box of assorted chips from Sam’s. Chips go in the bottom drawer, individually wrapped snacks go in the middle, & top has ziplock bags with 10 cookies each in them. Kids come over they can pick two snacks between each meal which means 4 in a whole day bc I make breakfast, lunch, & dinner. My kids know when they’re gone, I don’t refill but once a month…. So they police their own friends. If I have a kid coming over with boundary issues, the snack station gets wheeled into my closet & only my kids are allowed in my space. If the kid crosses my boundaries after being warned, then they aren’t allowed in my home without me home. My kids have always honored and understood.
I have the issue with my nephews and nieces. I don’t have any issues with them having access to my food what so ever. However, I tell them we’re not making meals out of snacks. They can have 1 or 2 snacks and they are done until its time for a meal time. As far as going through your personal thing, that’s absolutely a no go and I would correct them myself. If she’s comfortable enough to snooze on your couch then she should be comfortable enough to let you enforce your boundaries with her kids.
Don’t let them over. I ain’t about to deal with that.
When my grandkids start asking for snacks like that, I make them a bowl of cereal or a sandwich. Sounds like your friend is having you feed her kids.
First off I wouldn’t put my stuff up or shut or lock any of my doors.That’s your house not theirs. What I would do is get rid of that so called friend and your problem is solved. That’s not a true friend to come to your house and let’s the kids disrespect your home and to me sounds like she has no respect for you either to let this go on and for her to just take a nap like your her sitter.
I think the kids ages would really add some context but your friend is TAH for not trying to control her kids
Bring it up or lock up snacks
The question about how I afford formula for my child and can’t buy her children fast food would have done it for me. I would have answered honestly. I would have told her that it is a parents responsibility to feed their own children. If My feathers were really ruffled I may have added that if that isn’t true I will be by your home to pick up a couple cans of formula.
I’d stop answering my phone when she calls or telling her you have plans already
First- nobody goes in my room. Period. Nobody ever goes in my room. If you need to put a lock on, do it. Then— watch your kids! If their parents are there- they are responsible for them. If not- YOU are
Only leave out what you allow them to have and then lock the rest away. Lock all room doors you don’t want them in. Personally I think the mom is using you. Idk why she is but that’s what she’s doing.
Are you kidding? This woman is no friend. Stop feeding her kids and see how long the friendship lasts.
Find a better friend. Someone who is not raising a bunch of spoiled brats.
You shouldn’t have to lock your pantry and bedroom doors🤦 You need to talk to her .
She’s using you to feed her kids and obviously does not care about your feelings about the whole thing. Maybe if she fed her own kids they wouldn’t be hungry all the time. And after the first time invading your bedroom and going thru drawers, they and the other mom would be banned from ever coming over again if it was me and my house
Whip out the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.kids love them and there filling.
That’s straight out rude and disrespectful. you need to sit them down and explain they can’t just go in to your room or cupboards or fridge and tell there.mum I’m not here to feed them everytime and she needs to start bringing them food for when they come over. I am kinda thinking that they sound hungry and when they come to your house they see the food and can’t help but eat it or ask continuously cause they are so hungry.
You don’t have money for pizza bc you need to buy the formula and it’s expensive, doesn’t mean you have unlimited money. Her thinking is skewed. I’d seriously lock snacks up in your room. If they can’t stay out lock the door. Tell them they’re not allowed in the fridge. If they need something to eat, you will get it for them. It’s your house, set the rules.
Speak up! Tell you friend to watch her kids or don’t bring them.
Stand up to them. Tell them to STOP or get out.
One thing that always drives me insane is when ppl don’t teach their kids manners!! Obviously, the kids don’t even realize what they are doing isnt polite. They haven’t been taught. My kids were taught manners from toddler on. Pls, thank you, pick up after urself esp when in someone elses house, ask before helping themselves to something at a house that isnt ours, being respectful, ect. Ive always been so proud of my kids cuz they really have great manners since very little. So many ppl just don’t teach their kids manners tho. It’s going to be hard now since it’s been going on for so long but ull have to talk to mom and set up boundaries. Do u have a extra cupboard? U could use a extra cupboard and put select snacks in there n let them know they can help themselves to anything in that cupboard, but once its gone, its gone. Tell the mom certain rooms need to be off limits in ur house. You don’t have to be mean or rude, but ur going to have to be stern. And honest. Tell her it bothers you when her kids are going thru ur stuff, eating things and finishing food off, without asking, leaving nothing left for u and ur household. Tell her u don’t mind them coming over, u want them to feel welcomed, and comfortable, but its just gotten a lil outta hand
I can’t help but to think maybe they are hungry, maybe she doesn’t feed them, I don’t know. But I do know this whole ordeal would have me stressed TF out.
Maybe hide all of the snacks before they come!
Keep everything locked and only allow 2 snacks that’s already on the table for them. Seriously LOCK everything
This is totally your friend’s fault. She needs to be watching her kids and making them behave. Like who just falls asleep at someone else’s house while their kids are just doing whatever? Then to have the audacity to make the comment about how you afford formula but can’t buy HER children pizza, wow. I would tell her to bring her kids their own snacks as well as watch them or not come over.
Get like a mixing bowl and put a couple snacks of each of whatever you want them to have and put a closed sign on the pantry door. Next time they come over just explain that there is a new rule and that they each get a snack out of the bowl and when the bowl is empty that’s it. And call your friend out. You were nice enough to essentially babysit so she could sleep but she won’t tell her kids to behave? I guess if they can’t get it together stop letting them over
My kids would neverrrrrrrr
You don’t need a friend like this, lock the doors
First of all that’s your home, please Kay some ground rules openly and if they don’t abide by them ask mom to speak with them respectfully. And you don’t need to give no one any explanation why you can’t buy something but can the other while their not the providing for you.
It’s your home you need to make the respect you and it.