My friend got her kids taken away a year ago and hasnt even tried to get them back, they are curretntly living with her mother…and just texted me and told me she is pregnant again and doesnt want to go to the doctor or tell aynone bc she doesnt want this child taken either…i dont even know what to do with this situation…i have tried convicining her that she needs to go to the doctor but she wont go…what do i do?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. https://answers.mamasuncut.com/t/my-friend-is-pregnant-and-refuses-to-go-to-the-doctor-advice/21095
You mind your business. That’s what you do.
How awful for your friend
Well if she got her kids taken away and hasnt done a thing to get them back why have more so they can be taken away ?
But being pregnant you need to be seen to make sure everything is okay with the baby.
She should at least go to a pregnancy center or something like that. No sure where you’re from but they usually help mothers in difficult situations and provide resources.
She’s an id!ot lmao. She got them taken for a REASON. She shouldn’t be having more. Especially if she hasn’t even attempted to get back the ones she already has…
I would just keep letting her know it’s a good idea because let’s say she goes into labor and shows up at the hospital. Some places will actually get you for neglect for not having prenatal care I have seen videos of women when they got their new born taken because of it.
Turn her in to csb & tell them she pregnant again. She got her kids taken for a reason and she don’t even care to get them back? I know that’s your friend but she’s putting herself and her unborn baby in danger by refusing to go to a doctor or even a free clinic .
I’d tell her mother
You get better friends.
Not a good situation, but her choice. Continue to be there for her.
If the reason her kids were taken away was due to neglect or abuse then I would call CPS. Stay at Home Moms
This is a hard situation. You can’t force someone to do something, but then again there is an unborn child involved and she obviously is not capable of caring for her children or else she would have the others. I’d have to say something to someone because lack of care is neglect and can be prosecutable in some states.
I would try to convince her to make her dr’s appointments.
Maybe whatever happen she has changed from and is just scared and don’t know what to do. U never know what somebody else is going thru in their heart and mind.
I would make sure she’s taking her prenatal at the very least there’s nothing u can really do besides that
Build trust with your friend. See if she’ll go to a clinic in another county. Be her friend… make sure she had vitamins. Maybe discuss a doula, which would be more private.
She will have a alert on file but no matter what she won’t be likely to bring home she doesn’t get prenatal care more likely to loose
Well if she dont do the things shes suppose to or get care it will deff be taken
She got her kids taken for a reason
She sounds like she don’t need another if she can’t even fight for the ones she has
Turn her in to cps and tell them she is pregnant again and is refusing to go to drs
So I would get her some pre-natal vitamins to start….then gently coax her into going to a doctor….remind her how important it is for health baby and Mom that she is under a physician’s care and she needs to be established with an OB for labor and delivery.
Offer to go with her…
What about the Dad of the baby
Well when they do find out she’s pregnant , and they will eventually she will be in trouble for not getting proper care for the unborn child s tell her she NEEDS to do the right thing for the sake of the baby an not be selfish… sometimes being blunt n upfront is what ppl need
Cps consinders each child a new chance unless she does something they won’t take this child unless she does something to get it taken and not going for prenatal care would be a reason to take a child. Their was a woman where I live who actually went to prison for attempting to drown her child when she had post partum she served her time got out and had another kid and it was never taken. (I completely don’t think this is right) but cps needs reason to open a case and not going for prenatal care would be enough reason
That would be the 1st reason they would take the baby straight from the hospital if she doesn’t get prenatal care
she doesn’t HAVE to go to the doctor , plenty of people do home birth with no doctors involved. is it safe ? not really. but it just depends on specific states on whether it’s legal or not. however if she got her kids taken and hasn’t tried to get them back she probably won’t take care of this one either. id call DHS and i’d find better friends, that actually take care of their kids.
It’s highly likely that cps will become involved the second she gives birth bc of her previous involvement BUT her refusal to get prenatal care is going to help THEIR CASE, NOT HERS.
Do the right thing and call cps. If she didn’t or won’t come through for the other kids she’s not coming through for this one either.
This very thing happened to a distant friend. We moved in together . Became roommates. She was half trying to get her kids back and became pregnant.
She hid it until she couldn’t and cps took the baby… their was police at the hospital within an hour of her intake. It’s not pretty at all… it’s so sad all around but the women needs to hear the truth . Be truthful but not harmful
Edit : you cannot make someone do something they don’t want to. If she doesn’t confess to her own family. I would leave a secret note in a week or two so the family can’t track it back to you…
Mind your business. Jesus Christ you should know this.
She should get a Doula and midwife. Look into it.
Make the appointment for her and tell her yall are going somewhere and drag her butt there
Try to get her pre-natal vitamins from store to take at least. Talk to her about going to different county for Dr. Ask why she thinks she will lose this one and maybe she can go to counseling. She’s in trouble obviously and suffering. Try to be there to encourage but don’t judge. She’s scared I’m sure. Just little things to encourage her may help. Pray for her and her kids and baby. Best of luck.
You cut ties with her.
She clearly doesn’t give a damn about her previous children if she hasn’t even tried to get them back.
Call cps and call
It a day.
Sounds like she got them taken for a reason if she’s that worried they’ll take this one too. I’d report her, otherwise she could get in serious trouble and will probably have the child taken regardless.
Call her mom lol. Seriously though.
Well either way she’s gonna have to have this baby and if she doesn’t start working with childrens services during her pregnancy their gonna take this one too. Not much u can do really but she needs to take responsibility. Or get her tubes tied
Be there for her as much as you can. If you no why she doesn’t have her kids thats a big thing here…was it drugs?neglect? Bad relationship? Where is she at this point? I have more questions then answers but if she cant take care of the baby let her know that thete are lots of people who would love a baby. Me being one
Personally, I would stay out of it other than just letting her know like “hey I am worried about you and this baby” and nicely let her know that if something happens and/or she goes into labor and goes to the hospital, she could be building a case against herself. While she should really go to the doctor for medical purposes, she’s making that decision to not.The truth will come out about her new pregnancy and the baby on the way - which of course can cause this baby to be taken away as well
I gave birth twice without any appointments. You don’t need to convince her of anything, it’s her choice.
Personally as a mother, that comes way before any friendship. I would notify child protective services of the pregnancy and let them know she’s lost custody of her other children. Let them take it from there. Do it anonymously and if no action is taken report it again when the child is born to the hospital and CPS anonymously. Other than that there isn’t anything you can do unless you see neglect or abuse and call the police. I’m a fan of minding my own business except when it comes to the welfare of children. I will intervene. Friendships can go to Hell.
Report your friend! And have a serious long talk w/her regarding responsibility! She shouldn’t be bringing children into this world if she’s having them yaken away & especially jeopardizing the childs well being in her womb!
Well the state will eventually find out she is pregnant and remove that one . Sorry but if a parent is making zero effort to get her kids back , they lose my respect. I get it we all make mistakes but if you’re going to have kids be responsible and take care of them . Nobody else will raise my kid ever! I’m not a perfect parent but as a parent it’s your job to make sure your kids are taken care of and safe.
She reached out to you for a reason. If she really wanted to tell Noone she would have. Be her friend, tell her the options. Listen to her, she’s scared. Eventually, the baby will be born and CPS will decide what happens. Until then, you support her. Really, we don’t know why the others were taken. Drugs, abuse, dirty home, etc. Has she remedied the problem?
The minute she goes to the hospital and has the baby more then likely it will be taken away.
I deal with foster kids and this happens all the time. She is already in the system but you don’t have to go to a Dr to have a healthy pregnancy
Tell her to go to the doctor in another state. They will not find out about what happened and she’ll be able to keep her baby until she does something else.
She should start working through the program they have set up for her to gain custody of her kids again (or do what needs to be done, etc). If she makes no efforts, it is likely this child will be removed from her care as well when it’s born.
Most states she would be red flagged in the computer system.
Sounds like someone you shouldn’t be friends with.
They can open a case against her for not going to an OB
Unless she has the baby in another state I can guarantee childrens servces will find out
Aside from her you really need to worry about the well being of the baby
Well she definitely needs the care but if she had the others taken and she don’t want to go to the doctor because of blood test and checking if she is on something if she is then yes they will take the baby. Either way she still needs to be seen by a doctor and take her vitamins
Hopefully DCS will become aware of the situation.
My beat friend hid her first pregnancy from everybody but me an her BD. She never went to the doctor or anything. When she went into labor an went to the hospital that’s when everybody found out. She now has two kids with her BD and has both of them.
In your situation your friend when she gives birth there’s going to be records of the child unless she does a home birth and doesn’t notify the state or take the baby to the doctors
Maybe if she can’t properly take care of her children she already made, maybe an abortion would be better this time around, considering there’s already enough children who are unwanted and unloved and in the system.
She’s only hurting herself by not getting prenatal care. It sounds like she may have something to hide and not just a previous CPS case.
Once CPS finds out this child will be gone too and it will look bad on her for not receiving prenatal care.
If she hasn’t attempted to reunite with her other kids, the situation they were taken from is probably the same. And likely not one a newborn should be in.
As a mother. I say call CPS and make an Anonymous Report. Give name, address of where she is at, address of where the kids are at that she lost custody of, and inform them that she is pregnant again and refusing to go to doctors. Other than that there isn’t anything you can do.
She could terminate. If her kids were taken by the state , they will take this one. Even if she doesn’t go to the Dr. She will have to get a certificate of birth and ss # and cps will catch up with her.
Tell her to stop having babies she can’t afford to keep
I mean, they’re going to find out when she has a baby. Better to start dealing with it now. It’s selfish for her to not take proper care of herself and her baby. If she can’t take care of her current children and hasn’t shown any effort to do so, she should start planning an adoption for this child.
They are going to find out when it’s time to have the baby, kinda hard to hide that.
They won’t Instantly take this child. It’s a new chance to prove she can really be a good mom. They will meet with her at the hospital and ask her if she’s doing good now and that’s about it. But by not getting care they will take it for sure.
She dosent deserve another baby! If you dosent go to the doctor. It’s child neglect
This is why certain people shouldn’t be allowed to keep getting pregnant
When she does to deliver at a hospital.
They we do all the lab tests she didn’t do.
Most likely drug testing.
It’s the law in most states.
It sounds like she’s not responsible in the first place if she’s having unprotected sex after her other children have been taken. Is she mentally stable, is her partner involved, is she financially able to support a child and does she have a stable living situation. If not then it is in the best interest of the child to report the mother for the child’s safety and well being. I can understand the fear and anxiety after having lost your other children, but two red flags are that she hasn’t tried to get her children back and that she’s refusing to get appropriate care. If she’s not getting care while she is in full control, I can only imagine how it will be when the baby is no longer a part of her and more responsibility.
She can face neglect charges for not doing prenatal visits. The child will be takin away regardless
She cant hide it for long.
If the case with the other children is closed they won’t automatically take this one. However it doesn’t look good if she refuses to go to the doctor and get prenatal care either. If she is still considered unfit or is doing “whatever” it is that got her other kids taken away then even as her friend I would call and make a report. It’s better a baby be taken then a child growing up in an unfit home. If she’s doing better then maybe this will be a changing point in her life and make her see that she can do better and fight for her kids. But she def needs prenatal care!
So she won’t fight for her first born children but instead “fights” for her unborn child naa I would definitely tell some one
SHE NEEDS TO GET PRENATAL CARE if she wants to keep this baby!!! I know it’s traumatizing going thru what she has and losing your kids. But if she DOES NOT take care of herself and this baby cps will take it. If she does take care of herself they will simply show up at the hospital do a home visit and everything will be fine. She just has to prove she’s doing everything right this time. I’ve seen this time and time again. Women have lost their kids, years prior or recently, and give birth to a new child, and CPS doesn’t take the new one bc they’re doing better. Please convince her to see a Drs.
I mean at some point she will have to have that baby in a hospital. With all these people forcing their opinions to become reality on a womans body, she’ll most likely get in trouble for not getting prenatal care. They can’t take this child away without any proof it will be in a dangerous environment. If shes doing nothing wrong, she shouldn’t be afraid to go.
She can only hide for as long as she’s pregnant and going to the hospital with zero care she ain’t takin that baby home she needs to get her head out of her butt
Why us she getting pregnant when she doesn’t even have her other kids ? How shameful I’d call cps on her n let her know it’s bit abiht her it’s about the baby that didn’t ask to be born.
Since children are involved I would turn her in, there has to be more to it why she won’t go to a Dr or tell anyone. If she was complying with the rules/laws, healthy, there would be no reason the baby would be taken. But if she won’t tell anyone she must be hiding something for a reason to have her baby taken away. So she told you, now it’s your business. If she has this baby and there is something wrong or she did something wrong, how could you live with yourself knowing you knew and did nothing… I would report her!
Unless she plans to give birth at home she’ll have to go to the doctor, but I would contact family services in your area due the babies sake.
If she doesn’t receive prenatal care they will absolutely take the baby, this is why in these cases woman should be on birth control. Why put another baby at risk when she failed her others?
I hate the fact people say negative things on stuff like this. I have 7 kids and go through a lot I’ve been raped and had a baby I’ve even went through abuse mental and physical you never heard her story life is real and I would be there for her. The signs are there of depression. God knows what he got stored for her and her children pray that’s all you can do and ask God forgiveness for her don’t call child protection because at the end of the day you are going to feel bad. Love her like she was your sister and be there maybe you can adopt the baby. I just don’t understand stand people. I been told of I can’t take afford a birthday party I shouldn’t have kids. I been through it all. Please listen just make sure you are there. And help her the best way you can
It’s really not your problem.
So many assholes on this feed who have no idea what she did or how she is now or what she’s feeling. Smh. It’s sad. She may be in a good place now and is just really scared. She may not believe she has a fighting change with her lost kids anymore. she may have a lot of regrets. She may be able to use being a good mother now to this child as a way to prove she is fit enough to go back to court for her older kids!!! Which is exactly what I did and it’s worked in my favor!!! I made mistakes in my past, I overcame them and had a new child (never stopped being in my older kids lives) and when I had sufficient proof of my parental ability documented with my new child I revisited my older case legally!! Been here done exactly this and it is possible!!! You can have her message me if she wants I’ve been exactly where she is and came out of it a happy healthy loving mother!! But!!, I never skipped prenatal care either
I mean they’ll find out once in labor. In some states if you get your kids taken to automatically have to earn back future kids.
Make a post about them
Dcf or DHS have a way of making u feel worthless and helpless instead of helping you succeed. You have no idea unless you’ve been there.
You Don’t need to go to the doctor
Not getting prenatal care is neglect. She is proving that the welfare of her innocent child is not a priority.
She doesn’t have to go to a doctor. It’s a choice.
If there is an underlying reason or something she is trying to hide, then that is different.
She hasn’t tried to get her other kids back and now she’s pregnant again? She’d have 2 choices. Either she gets proper medical care or id be talking to her social worker.
She’s prob using drugs so she doesn’t wanna see the doctor. I’d still report it to child services.
The thing is they won’t automatically take the new kid. They will give her a chance with it as long as she is not doing drugs and has a safe place to be with the baby’s.
This is such a controversial subject. Either way she will need to deliver the baby and they will see she hasn’t been to prenatal care or regular midwives appointments. For the health and safety of that baby she needs to see a Doctor. Try and speak to your friend about why she has to, and maybe consider some contraception after this baby
You do nothing. She is a grown woman. You take care of your business and let her take care of hers.
She will eventually have to go to have the baby n they will do whatever they r gonna do than
I am not positive but I think she can get in trouble by the courts if she has a baby and does not report it to them. Due to her other ones being taken away.
If she doesn’t go they will take the baby no questions asked. That’s unfortunate. She needs to start making an effort to get the previous kids back to basically “be in good standing” with CPS.
Mind ur business Karen
Personally, I’d find new friends
Personally I’d make a phone call clearly this woman isn’t capable of caring for children if her others got taken and are in custody of the grandmother. Someone needs to be a voice for this unborn baby