My friend abandoned me at her bacherlorette...advice

I just need a safe space to vent. I’m in Mexico for my friends bachelorette weekend. I thought we were best friends but she keeps abandoning me in our room while she goes out with coworkers and her sister that are here with us. I’ve recently been going through hell in my personal life and I feel so alone. I just want to go home. I don’t want to go to her wedding. I Had a massive panic attack yesterday and today she’s totally ignored me and ditched me for dinner when she claims to have tried to wake me up from the nap I was taking when a quiet alarm woke me without an issue and now it’s almost midnight and I’m desperately trying to find food with no luck. I’m stuck and all I want to do is go home. This has been the worst trip of my life.


It’s her Bachelorette weekend in Mexico, homegirl is trying to enjoy herself, understandably


It’s sounds like you just want to stay in the room and be miserable because your personal life is a :poop: storm. Do you really expect her to stay in the room and be miserable with you during HER bachelorette weekend? :face_with_raised_eyebrow: What kind of best friend are you?:thinking: Go on and take your a** back home and let the rest of the ladies enjoy themselves. :roll_eyes::woman_facepalming:t4:


Change your flight and go home.


Are you not allowed to go with her and her sister? Did she specifically say “You can’t come, stay here” or are you choosing to stay in the room?
Why can’t you venture out on your own? Call the hotel staff and ask who delivers.


As someone who has been that person, the best (and kindest) advice I can give you is: find food, then check in with yourself about your own perspective. How has it gone when you’ve interacted with the whole group – were you into it, or phoning it in? If you’re as miserable as you say, you probably brought a lot of that energy with you. You could have the best of intentions, but it can be really hard to shut all that off and focus on celebrating someone else right now.
Then decide what you want to do. Either miss your supposed best friend’s wedding based on how you’re feeling, or do your best to prioritize your friend and her needs for the rest of the trip.


It’s HER bachlorette party, and you’re making the whole trip about you? Makes me question your maturity level and ability to see outside yourself.


You don’t want to go to her wedding? You said she was your best friend. Even best friends have other close friends, why didn’t you go with her? I in no way would be in a room at all in Mexico during my bachelorette party.


What do you mean you can’t find food. Mexico has Uber eats and stands all over. Everyone speaks English in tourist areas and you’re obviously in a tourist area because there’s clubs and outing events.


Literally had the same experience. Went to a bachelorette party for my best friend in Mexico in July. I have servers anxiety but normally can control it but my food broke the first day so I was not able to have it as a safe spot to speak to family and my fiancé back home which triggered a lot of anxiety. I definitely look back and know I was being very hard to deal with and yes it’s a disorder but there is no way she should have to deal with that for her bachelorette trip. She handled it well but it was my fault my problem and there was nothing she should have done differently. Enjoy your trip you paid for and do what you need to do to handle your anxiety. But she should be doing what she is doing. You will feel silly when you go back home and calm down like I did but I also know I couldn’t help it but just remember it’s not her fault she is doing her!


You basically admitted YOU ARE the problem when you said you’re there for HER BACHELORETTE. Let her live, this is a celebration for her. Make the most of it WITH HER, not against her.


Your friend is celebrating her bachelorette. I know it’s been no fun for you but just try to tag along with her since it is her celebration. I know you paid a lot of money so try to enjoy the time you have left.


Stop making it about urself and go out with her u guys are clearly best friends for a reason ya u might have problems in ur life but this is ur best friends time stop being a Karen and go chill with her


I pray if i ever get to go on a Ladies trip there is no one like this in the group. You’re supposed to leave your problems at HOME when you go on a trip. And you’re there to support her! suck it up buttercup. its not about you.

Y’all need to study MENTAL HEALTH. I 100% believe this is bigger than what is bothering her atm… Her feelings are not logical and unless she’s just a spoiled brat then Id say she’s probably going threw some mental health issues…


I’m going to be the bad guy here. As much as I understand how you’re feeling and such, you shouldn’t have gone. She’s having one bachelorette do, she’s having fun and enjoying it just like she is supposed to. I’m sorry but you can’t expect her to put it on hold right now, you really shouldn’t have gone and got support at home. Don’t put it on her. This was your choice to come during this phase.


Some women think they’ll look bad without a decent amount of bridesmaids. I hear it often where I’m from that some women have filler bridesmaids. They aren’t really their friend and they definitely don’t care about them as one. They are there to make the bride look good like she has a lot of friends and the sad part is most of the time out of 10 bridesmaids only 3 are actually true friends.


It’s her bachelorette! I’m sure she means no harm but probably doesnt want to hear your problems at the moment. Also sending hugs to you


Go home and don’t tell her your leaving


Wait. She’s supposed to entertain you the whole time?


Go home but maybe u should of went out with them it’s suppose to be a fun time not depressing…


I think she is saying the bride intentionally is leaving her out.

1 Like

If you are that miserable go home. Your an adult book a flight. Don’t be a Debbie downer.

You probably bitched about how awful your ex is. Then decided to tell her how awful men are, because some can be. At this point in the trip she is trying to have a good time, and not argue with you. It is her day, not yours! She wants to celebrate her new life and she probably wanted her “best friend” to celebrate with her, instead of bringing her down.

Okay go home. 4(5)23

You have to options

  1. Go out and hang yourself , you are already there so you should not waste your money

  2. Go home


She’s out for her last chance at single lady fun. Suck it up and be there for her, it’s her weekend. Don’t make it about you and your woes. Have a one on one hang when the weddings over and then you can make it about you. It’s her weekend, not yours.

You are so wrong in this. Sorry. You are being selfish. It’s her party


What’s her bachelorette party have to do with your personal life? Sound like you just trying to have her be miserable with you.


Maybe check with her or others what the schedule is and be available when everyone else is. If you are besties, don’t you know others in the group you can call on and hang with and who can call to wake you when something is happening? Who sleeps all day and gets up at midnight expecting to find restaurants open for dinner & people ready to go out with you?

If you need quiet time to regroup, write her a note/text asking her to write down/text wherever the crew is going so you can grab a cab & meet them there later. Remind her often. She has a million thoughts going on.

Doesn’t she answer phone calls or texts? Call or text and find out where she is & go there. Are you in a hotel? The front desk or concierge can recommend a reliable ride service if you’re worried about safety. If you’re not, call the owner of the place you’re staying or call a hotel & get a recommendation.

Get some non-perishable snacks for when you wake up hungry. This is good advice for any travel situation so you’re prepared for anything. I always have crackers, nuts and dried fruit in my carry on, and have a bottle of water if the tap water where you are might be an issue. Ask around for locations of hotel vending machines and convenience stores.

Bride has tons of responsibilities, people to be with and is going to be focused on herself. Learn how to navigate on your own, take care of yourself and be responsible for your own happiness. This is a great life lesson that will serve you well your whole life.

That said, sit down with her or leave her a text/note/email/phone message or all four asking for a tentative schedule of events so you don’t get left out. Make friends with others in the group if not already and hang with them. For example sit with her co-workers at breakfast (or other meals/events) and talk to them, exchange contact info. Sometimes things are spontaneous and sometimes not. If you follow the bride around you’ll be included in the bunch, but that might be exhausting for you.

Are you an introvert among extroverts? You may have to make an effort to reach out so you can have fun. Also good practice for life.

Go to the wedding. You might be sorry later if you miss it, plus you’ve paid for the vacation already. If you’re left out, find other things to do: go to a museum or other tourist attractions, eat by yourself in a restaurant or order food to eat in your room or common area while watching TV in Spanish.

Also hope you’re getting counseling and medical help for your personal trauma and panic attacks. If not, start when you get home.

Why shouldn’t she go out and have fun in Mexico on her Bachelorette trip? I’m sorry you’ve had it rough but maybe you shouldn’t have gone on the first place of your on such a negative place


So you want her to stay in the room and be miserable with you?

1 Like

This isn’t about you, though. This is her time, her trip. If you are unhappy, go home. It’s not like it’s a getaway for the 2 of you to hang out. Again, this is about HER :hugs:


It sounds like you chose to go to someone’s life event while in a crap mood and may be dragging her time down. Self evaluate, not making yourself the victim, but think about it from everyone else’s point of view. We can’t expect the world or someone else to change because of our own feelings or problems. It sounds like you’re going to be a huge drag to her wedding because you can’t set your feelings aside and be there for your friend.


She wants everyone together, she has to hangout everyone, not just you. You sound like you’re having a horrible time and expecting her to fix it. When in reality you should be making more of an effort to have fun. It’s probably to late to get your self together and hang out with the group after they have witnessed the mood you’ve been in. It is absolutely no one’s responsibility to wake you up
I would explain your having a lot of anxiety and feel like your holding her back from having fun. Apologize and hope you haven’t ruined her trip and just go home.


It is HER time to celebrate HER. Not her time to babysit your feelings… and I say that as nicely as possible. I would go home if I were you so you could be comfortable in your own space and not stressed/alone in another country without taking away from her bachelorette trip. If you have a story about it already, she does too. If I were in your shoes I would go home for you and for her. Make it up to her another time when you’re feeling back to yourself and your personal stuff passes and hopefully gets better.


Yeah. I had a friend just like op. Couldn’t understand or realize how self centered she was, wanted me to stay, keep company, didn’t want to do anything and by the end of the trip I didn’t do anything but my “friend” had the greatest time for keeping her company on MY trip. I went solo on trips after that. Don’t get me wrong, she too was going thru ish in her personal life and wish she opted to stay hime if she couldn’t leave the personal problems at home.


How have you been acting? I know she wants to enjoy herself on her Bachelorette weekend. I know you have a lot going on but have you been doom and gloom? I know she is your best friend but this is her weekend and she just wants to have fun. Right now, it’s your time to be her best friend! She can’t sit around and make sure you okay. Not this weekend. That’s your job to make sure she is okay. I know this sounds harsh but she needs to have fun!


Weddings, Bachelorette parties, etc. Can bring out the worst in some people. Check yourself before you wreck yourself. This will all pass, and best friends are hard to find. I’ve had horrible fights and gone years without speaking to mine. Unspoken or unmet expectations were at the core of our issues. Plus I was jealous of her, and needed to let it go. Big hugs. What a painful time for you. Try to let go of ANY expectations you have of her right now. Show up as her friend and be happy for her.


Wait this is her bachelorette party but you think she should just be around you? She has other friends. You aren’t the only friend in her life.

She doesn’t sound like a very good friend. I understand it’s her Bachelorette party, but if you’re her best friend, she should give you some type of attention.

Don’t let these people invalidate your feelings.
I don’t know you, I don’t know your friend, but if MY BEST FRIEND is struggling, wedding or not it would matter to ME!
The end!


Write her a note that you left or a text then go home at a decent hour. Best of luck

Well for starters ask her why she’s behaving like that then go book yourself a hotel room and enjoy the rest of your stay.dont go to wedding

1 Like

Sorry to say it but she’s only gonna have one Bachelorette party. I’m sure she cares about your feelings but at the same time this is to celebrate her and she deserves to get to do that. Be happy for her that she’s enjoying her time. Stop making it about you.


It’s her Bachelorette. Not about u. Get over urself and show up for her. Talk about it when u get back but nows not the time to be throwing tantrums because the attention isn’t on u. This is her trip, Mexico is expensive. I wouldn’t be sitting in the room shut away from other ppl who also spent money to come celebrate her. U sound like an entitled spoiled and jealous best friend.

1 Like

I spent over 3,000 to fly out and be in my friends weddings….to be unfriended on fb less than a week after her wedding without a word……I get it. Yes you’re there for her wedding but it’s also not okay to invite someone on such a big thing and then exclude them left and right :woman_shrugging:t2: I still kick myself for not just going as a guest. My kids were her flowers girls :woman_facepalming:t2:. We felt used honestly because she didn’t have anyone else.

Definitely go home!the person who u thought was your friend is not. So go home and don’t lose any sleep over it,life is too short for people like her.


I hate when I throw a party and have to mingle, it’s hard because you know you’re bringing everyone in your life together and it’s stressful because you have to leave groups for another


When you’re there to celebrate someone else, you leave your problems at the door and do what you need to do to celebrate your friend. Don’t like her friends? So what- after this wedding- you don’t ever have to talk to them again.
Don’t wanna suck it up and do that? Fine- let them have their fun and stay out of the way. Go hang out by the pool, get yourself some lunch, go lay on the beach and find your own happiness while you’re there. Just don’t bring down everyone else.

Go home and sort yourself out then tell your friend how you felt there and if she understands…all good if not then you need to find a better friend that has your back…not stabbing you in it


ALL OF THIS ^^^ Almost every single comment is saying the same thing! Stop making this trip about you. Suck it up and go be a better person. If you can’t do that then go home.

This is her time. Put your issue’s aside and try to have some fun or go home.

Your feelings (however valid) are not her responsibility. Pack it up & take yourself home.

If this was an AITA, I would say Yes, you are.

It’s not your weekend, you’re being a terrible friend.


She’s got my attitude. We either go right now or you stay home

Sorry friends don’t act this way. Talk it out

Your friend went out for HER celebration ? It is not about you .

Why didn’t u go out with them? U decided to stay back thts your best friend u stick by her side… U was mad because you wasn’t her main focus

1 Like

Go home. This trip was about her. Not about you. When its your party weekend, then they can all cater to you.

Get on a plane and go home…

You are there for her bachelorette, shouldn’t you be going with her to places also? Are you choosing to not go but then she is going without you, or is she not allowing you to go along?

You must be absolutely beautiful with a primo figure I mean that’s all I can think of to why she doesn’t wanna be around you Or take you out anywhere scare that people are guna comment about how beautiful you are Lol she’s jealous of you Ahahaha

Okay, everyone is calling this woman selfish, however, if the bride invited her on this trip for her bachelorette weekend, isn’t She’s supposed to be involved in the celebrations as well? I think it makes a huge difference if she invited her and is intentionally leaving her out of the celebrations, like going out to dinner and such and just leaving her in the room and not letting her go, and if the poster is choosing not to go to the celebrations but is expecting her friend the bride not to go as well, That’s the question I have is which is it because if the bride invited her on this trip and is keeping her out of the celebrations, that’s wrong…And what was the point in inviting her on the trip if she was not going to allow her to come along on the outings?

1 Like

Is she not inviting you to these things she is doing with the rest of the group ?