My fiance and I had a fight and he thinks we should split up: Advice?

My partner and I had a fight Sunday. We have a two-month-old daughter and live in a house together. We were happily in love, but we bicker, and he says he hates that I have an attitude when I get mad. We both work full-time. We fought Sunday, and he told me Monday afternoon he didn’t want to be with me anymore. He says he is tired of my attitude, and then he says we don’t have the same vision, then that we both are not happy and that we don’t love each other. What do I do? I stayed somewhere else last night and went to get some things from home. Should I stay home and try to talk to him or just wait for him to try to talk to me? He won’t answer my calls or texts, and I don’t really know if I want to let him see our daughter this weekend because I just feel he’s so cold-hearted and won’t give me an answer if I see him I would just be the same. What to do?

44 Likes

If you have the home together why do you have to leave? I’m assuming you have the baby, stay in your house. Keep the baby in her home. If he wants to leave, let him leave, but don’t keep someones kids from them because you are mad at them.

24 Likes

Let him go. You can’t make someone love you.

7 Likes

The one thing you don’t do is use your daughter as a tool in your arguments

28 Likes

Let him come to you.
And more than anything… never keep a child from their father unless they are in harm. Good luck!

12 Likes

First impression is that you’re wrong to hold your child from him. Unfortunately it sounds like he may he happier without you and being apart may help him be the best dad he can. If his heart isn’t into the relationship, dont force him. If you’re opinionated/strong willed and he cant handle that, that’s ok. He can move out and keep baby safe and happy if her home.

35 Likes

If you keep your kid from him you are beyond a bad attitude!

25 Likes

You cant stop him seeing his daughter just because he doesnt want you anymore.

20 Likes

Sounds like he’s over the relationship let him go. Him not giving you an answer isn’t justification for you to not “let” him see his daughter. That’s his daughter and she deserves to spend time with him.

17 Likes

U should not stop him from seeing his child just because he is being cold to u idc if people think its mean its tru

10 Likes

Regardless of whats happened between u both its still his daughter to and no reason to keep her from him thats just spiteful

10 Likes

So you are going to use your child to get back him. That says it all. No wonder he doesn’t want to be with you.

24 Likes

You can’t keep your daughter from him… that’s child abuse/neglect. That is her father regardless of your guys current disposition. But I know if someone says that to me. It’s done. Move on… he never loved you. … because if he did. .he still would. … you can’t just fall out of love. .

10 Likes

Could exhaustion be a factor that is causing the bickering at each other, on both sides? I notice that you have a 2-month-old and you both work full time. I’m wondering if you are both over tired, aren’t thinking rationally due to lack of sleep and the argument has escalated. Would some time apart and a reflection letter help? A letter where you write to him telling him how things look from your perspective, how you feel, what your “attitude” is about etc? Best of luck with everything. I hope it all gets resolved with the best outcome for the three of you!

20 Likes

Go back to your house. Even if he doesn’t want to talk your baby and you live there. Second I’m sorry but maybe he has a side chick. His acttitude is suspicious. Give him some time to see if he cool of and talks.

12 Likes

You cant use your daughter in a argument. Hes gave you his answer nasty as it sounds now you’ve gotta work out routine for your daughter and seeing her dad.

8 Likes

Please don’t start keeping the child from him just because you’re upset .
He’s upset too … Using the child against him isn’t going to help your situation or make him love you.

10 Likes

Unless he’s a danger to the child you don’t ever withhold his kid from him. That’s just wrong.

8 Likes

Your baby is two months old. You’re exhausted. Things are changing. Go home. Let things cool down. He still doesnt want to work on it after that the he can go, but you shouldnt up root your baby who is practically a newborn

18 Likes

Don’t put your child in the middle of it. She’s innocent in all this and still deserves to see her daddy.

7 Likes

Just because you and your husband had a fight doesn’t mean you should stop your daughter from seeing him. That’s just spiteful and completely unfair on both of them. You can’t make someone love you or stay when they aren’t happy.
I suggest one of you stay somewhere else for awhile preferably him and that’s only because I assume you would have all your daughters stuff there etc
Once things have cooled down try and reach out. If he still wants to split suggest mediation and go from there.

5 Likes

What does your daughter have to do with you 2 disagreeing or him not wanting to be with you??? She has NOTHING to do with the situation. Like, I don’t get it you say “let him see her” BUT SHES JUST AS MUCH HIS, RELATIONSHIP OR NO RELATIONSHIP.

7 Likes

Grow up, by the LET him see his own kid to punish him, I see his point.

5 Likes

The fact that you want to withhold his child from him because he isnt doing what YOU wants proves he probably has valid reason for no longer wanting to be with you. Stay apart.

10 Likes

Don’t hold children from their parents that’s beyond ridiculous and I can see why he doesn’t want to be with you anyone who does that without a actually reason like the child is in danger is just plain wrong ! Your child and him have a separate relationship don’t confuse your feelings for him with that!!! Grow up

5 Likes

Leave and get it over with

You’re exhausted and he’s exhausted. Maybe you two should get a few hours away from the baby. Your little baby can go to your parents or his parents. You guys just seriously need some adult time.

3 Likes

No-one is forced to want you. If he wants out nothing you can really do to stop him nor should you even try because all you will do.is delay the inevitable, not stop it. He sounds like he is being respectful and honest. Do not be a bitter bm and hold his child from him. Children are NOT a bargaining tool. Let the man go be happy so he can in turn be happier for your child. The arguing gets old and people really do have enough.

4 Likes

Don’t leave, try to work it out together. Your baby is 2 months old. I’m sure you both are under a lot of stress right now along with postpartum depression. Communication and acting like adults during the communication is key. Yelling will get you no where.
And you never ever use your child as a pon. Not cool. No matter what happens he has every right to be in your child’s life. Good luck💕

6 Likes

Don’t keep the baby from him if he is a good dad

5 Likes

Don’t keep the child from him out of selfishness. Unless that child is in any danger always let her see him.

5 Likes

My ex and I went seperate ways after having a baby. If you both can’t fix the communication problem and other issues I’m sure, then part ways. Make a schedule for the visitations make him sign two identical handwritten copies of the visitation agreement if you don’t want to go to court. That way if either of you go against the agreement its an immediate emergency custody hearing. Give it a day or two let it all calm down leave him alone. And maybe you guys can settle upon agreements and maybe be more open to your problems.

1 Like

He’s a controlling narrcassit using gaslighting techniques as an excuse to get himself out of the relationship.
Don’t contact him in any way, is your name on the rental agreement…? If so show up with your key to get whatever you need, when you need.
Call for a police escort if you don’t trust going alone.
girl stop calling him, block all his shit & when you cut off all avenues of communication…bet you wont hear from him for 6+ months…until the skank he’s creeping with gives him the boot & he magically wants you back…an thats when you do the hair toss an be like :fu: not today satan, not today :fu:

It’s only two months since you had your baby you are still hormonal . Give yourself a break . Look after you and your baby and let him be part of her life . It’s a difficult time of adjustment . Hope everything works out x

1 Like

Don’t ever use your kid against him he broke up with you not his child. Fathers have rights

6 Likes

Sounds like He’s talking to someone else

2 Likes

Husband and wifes argue. We say things that we dont mean in the heat of the moment. But never i mean never use the children or make them be the middle man. It ridiclious when parents do that. Take you and your newborn baby home. Try and talk to him if thats what your heart wants, woman think the men always are at fault, and woman think its always up to man to fix things, ask him what needs to be fixed and you tell him what needs to be fixed. Commmunication, and compromises. On both ends. Now if he doesnt want to work things out, or if he says yes and things dont change on his half then def leave him . But learn to co parent

Can you afford to stay in the house. If so I would because have your baby’s nursery their or have him help you get into other housing. Your baby is so little she has to be the first priority on both your parts. Is he afraid of being tied down with a baby. He needs to come clean, but baby’s needs come first.

1 Like

Darling don’t let a man say to you twice that he doesn’t love you :raised_hands:

7 Likes

Look my man and I have issues with me being to open with him about what is bothering me,and he always ends up going off to himself for a couple of days…he had has a rough past himself and it’s not easy for him to open up with his emotions because of it and he doesn’t know how to deal with my honesty when we have issues…he has been burned many times before and he is scared,but unlike women men have a tendency to run instead of fighting for what they have…the old rule of thumb applies though set him free if he is yours he will return if he doesn’t then he wasn’t ever yours to begin with,but please never keep your baby from knowing her dad due to y’all’s issues because your child will be the one suffering…give him his space as far as y’all are concerned and see what happens …let him still be a daddy though because to many walk away from that responsibility and the child suffers…give him a chance to be a dad but also give him a chance to miss you …

4 Likes

If you keep him from seeing his child because your not getting what you want, he will resent the hell out of you and the damage will be permanently unrepairable because that’s cruel and unreasonable.

4 Likes

Don’t EVER use your daughter to punish him! I think you just let us all know how spiteful you can be when things don’t go your way :thinking::-1:

7 Likes

To start with don’t even start using your child as a weapon

Just because someone doesn’t want to be with you doesn’t mean they shouldn’t get to see their child

You had a kid grow up and realise it’s not about you anymore

Yes this may be hard he may just be mad . But it’s his kid just as much as yours

As for you having an attitude when your mad and he doesn’t like it … well look . Your mad and your thinking about stopping him seeing his kid

I can already see his point

Your relationship shouldn’t effect your child’s rights to have both parents in its life

See if he will go to councilling
But you can’t force someone to stay with you

3 Likes

All of this advice… The one thing is agree with is NEVER think that keeping a child from their parent is justified because of your feelings… Dead wrong… Put your big girl panties on and do the right thing… As in your dealings with him; it’s okay to fight for love… It’s okay to bear yourself down to win… However, YOU are the only person that can determine when you’ve done enough… Said enough… Or had enough… We can’t tell you that… You want someone to tell you to fight? Fight… You won’t leave it alone until you’ve had enough… We often just want our thoughts to be verified by others to make us feel like we aren’t crazy for wanting it… I’m so not joking when I say I reference the lyrics to " The Gambler" … You gotta know when to hold them, know when to fold them, know when to walk away, and know when to run… We can’t tell you what you should do… You’ve lived it and developed a love within it… Only you know when it’s done… You can’t convince someone to love you… Are you willing to take his criticisms? Would you not be " you" if you compromised? These are the things to be considered… Nothing in love is simple… Especially when someone is feeling slighted… Think long and hard… You know what you want to do, what you’re going to do, so do that… Just be smart and don’t abuse yourself… And NEVER keep your child from their father.

4 Likes

Yer daughter is not a weapon to use. Dont be a bitch

You never involve a child unless their is danger. With the attitude you got I can see why he feels the way he is feeling. I can’t even believe you said that about keeping the child from him because your mad. That’s childish
If he doesn’t wanna be with you anymore let go, move on, but the way your acting and from what you said I understand him. It’s time for you to grow up. Never use a child.

New babies new problems. Don’t pull his kid away from him bc Y’ALL have problems. She’s 2 months old. You probably have PPD from the hormones. Take a weekend away, talk things thru. Take a step back from the situation.

3 Likes

Let him come to you, if he is going to as it sounds like he is done. Since you will have the daughter you stay in the house and make him move… x

My ex and I split when I was pregnant with our 3rd child and NEVER have I stopped him seeing our childre they are now grown men and can see it was a great idea too not put their dad down or stop them from seeing him… why… for they werent the ones we both fell out of love with we both loved our boys very much just not each other… if it works out fine sweety but do you want too be with someone who doesn’t want too be with you?

1 Like

Maybe time to call it quits however, don’t stop him seeing his child over it :roll_eyes:

3 Likes

Keeping the baby from him is wrong unless he is abuisive toward the baby or talks down on you infront of the child.
I would give him sometime to cool down (maybe 2 or 3 days)
Then when you pick the baby up from the weekend visit sit down and talk about your feelings a
nd what you want and need out of the relationship see if you can’t come to a solution to the issues in your relationship

Prayers for you and your family.

1 Like

What do you mean “ I don’t know if I want to LET him see our daughter “ it’s not up to you to allow him to see his child… she is as much his child as yours… far out… don’t be one of those mother’s!!

6 Likes

Most importantly don’t use your child against him. Also don’t make him tell you twice that he’s not in love with you. People argue but most don’t ever say that. Just make arrangements for you and your daughter.

2 Likes

Don’t put your daughter in the middle. That’s wrong.

Do NOT USE Y’ALLS CHILD AGAINST HIM IT ONLY HURTS THE KID

Just leave. Stop contacting him. by the sounds of it since he won’t care about seeing the baby anyway at this point. If he don’t start contacting you etc. There’s your answer I guess. But its sounding as though he wants out…he’s almost coming across as there’s someone else perhaps? Either way. Let him come to you don’t chase him you’ll just push him further away

2 Likes

Find a good councilor and make an appointment, ask him to go along with you but if he won’t, go for yourself. It’s worth it to try to work it out for your baby. Learn how to have a successful relationship through councilng and it will be one of the best decisions you have made for your life. Being in a good relationship is hard work you both must commit to staying and then choose every single day to remain in it and work on it. No one can make you happy, you must choose to be happy for yourself and then share that happiness with others through your attitude. Don’t withhold the baby from him because you’re mad,. Do what’s best for your child.

What does y’all argument have to do with him seeing his daughter? 1st off?

7 Likes

The fact that you’re bringing the child into it is sad. Let him see his kid. Regardless of what’s going on between you two. The child has nothing to do with the fact that he doesnt want to be with you anymore. YALLS daughter is not a weapon to use against him. Imagine how you would feel if the tables were turned and he wouldnt let you see her.

9 Likes

Keeping a child away from a parent is not always about spite, sometimes it is about safety. Also, what is better for a child…having no father or one that pops up very few years?

2 Likes

He’s probably RIGHT to stay away from such childish foolery

5 Likes

You should see a councilor and work on it for your daughter for sure

Make him leave the house and not you, don’t vacate for any reason.

2 Likes

I think you and him aren’t compatible (obvious) Absolutely be the bigger person and do not let your feelings control you or the love between a parent and the feelings of both you and your baby.Be the mature parent and let your baby see the other parent. Live your life but w/o going back. #Mamabear#

1 Like

Your child did not ask to be born your child did not get to pick its parents. Your child doesn’t get a choice or a say-so in whether it grows up in a broken home or not two. At one point he was everything you needed obviously you laid down and made a baby with him. Raising a child is putting your child first and foremost as the adults you and the child’s father need to figure out a way to be civil to each other. You are the adults. I left my daughter’s dad when daughter was 3 years old he was a drug addict and he physically abused me. For the last 10 years we have spent holidays together we have gone to carnivals we have done things together with our daughter. Why? We’re not raising a child that needs to recover from their childhood. I’m not sure what state you live in but the majority of the states are pushing for 50/50 custody. Fathers have just as many rights as mothers. In our state it’s a felony to keep your child from their parent unless it is ordered by a judge. Be careful what buttons you push he could very well go to the courts and petition for 50% custody and it all might backfire on you. If you keep your child from their father trust me the only one that’s going to be affected is you when that child gets old enough to realize what has been done you might lose your child to. In my state at the age of 12 a child is considered old enough to make the choice on which parent they want to live with. That is of course granted by petitioning the court and assuming that the other parent basically has their shit together and can handle raising the child. There is no room for vindictiveness in parenting. Time goes so fast please don’t waste your time that you have with your child figuring out ways to hurt their other parent. it’s not your child’s fault that they want to love their mom and dad. Good luck to you sweetheart and I hope this didn’t come off rude I didn’t mean it that way at all

What are you. Eleventeen? Girl, don’t keep that baby from him because you aren’t getting what you want. That’s petty-Crocker at its finest, and you’ll be leading that little girl down a treacherous road if you poison her little heart into believing her daddy left her!
Look, don’t let this man tell you twice that he doesn’t love you. You can’t change him. Accept it, move on, and nurture a healthy relationship between your daughter and her dad
If you start down this road of withholding her from him, it’ll end badly for everyone.
Put your daughters needs before your wants.

9 Likes

When a man or woman tells you they don’t want you anymore… Believe them

2 Likes

Don’t keep him from being a father! Time and distance can heal and maybe one day friendship again. Space is a good thing

Let him go…he is not happy to be with you and obviously …your child…you have work…you can provide for both you and your child .he does not want anything to do with you and the baby so let it be …besides…if you let him see the baby…you will still be hanging to the notion that you can be together again…better distant your self from him…for you to start over again with your life …coz obviously…your still hoping for a come back…maybe …when the time comes that you already have move on…then thats the time you show him the baby…

8 Likes

Pray about the situation. This can only help everyone and everything. I’m sure you are both used to it just being “you two”. Adding a baby takes work and it can be very stressful on a relationship. Especially a newborn. If your relationship is meant to be, then it will be. Don’t give up. Give him space to figure things out. It takes two to have a problem. This is not all your fault. I’m sure you are feeling insecure about you. That doesn’t help the situation. People can say things they don’t mean. Both you and him. Your relationship before is a whole different dynamic. It takes some “adjusting” to the new normal. The easy way out is to just end things and go your separate ways, but you will always be a part of each other’s life’s because of this sweet baby girl. The thought of someone else being a part of her life might be a real “eye opener”, meaning eventually he will have someone else and so will you. Sharing your baby with someone that is not blood related can be very hard. He would see that too! Split families are a difficult situation. Give him SPACE! Let him see her. He needs to “miss you”. He needs to see how hard it is to take care of a little one on his own. It isn’t easy. He might appreciate you more. I’m sure your attitude has to be a lot to due with hormones and change. I’m sure you can work on that if you are willing to make things work. Taking care of a newborn and working full time jobs can be very stressful. It takes an adjustment period. If you are not wanting this to be over, then fight for this relationship, but don’t smother. Stop texting and calling him. It’s not over yet. Hang in there, but stay strong and let him see her if that is what he wants. The break might also help you as well. I hope you have a great support system. Once again…pray about this. God will come through whether it is over or whether there is a chance. Not matter what this isn’t going to be easy. Life isn’t easy and remember He doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle.

4 Likes

Do not ever let a man tell you twice he doesnt want you… just file for custody and child support then move on.

5 Likes

U want him to hate u even more…smh. baby is both of urs
U guys can get counseling
U may need to tame ur attitude cuz ur losing him
Talk to dr. Bout ppd maybe that is contributing to all the bickering

2 Likes

U do not hold a child hostage. Be an adult. U chose to have a child with him, he is that child father. It’s not the child fault u two can’t get it crap worked out, children deserve both parents. Plenty of parents bail on kids so if he’s there wanting to be part of the kids life get out of the way- that’s ur ego. U do own that child, they are not property

4 Likes

I think it’s awesome he still wants to see his baby and she’s so little yet, he sounds like a great dad. I know you’re heart broken but you have to be the bigger person in this situation. He will respect that. Let him come to you. I know post partum is hard with tons of emotional moments…

4 Likes

Try to talk to him when things cool down. Go back home, don’t turn your back from your relationship. You should still try to maintain a good co parenting relationship if you don’t want to be with them anymore. Two months after having a baby, your hormones are all over. Give it time.

1 Like

I think your both has bad has each other your both not willing to build a relationship your both just willing to give up your both not listening to each other why can’t you say before you get mad being fly etc why not say I’ve heard whst you said I need to think then I’ll talk to you remember you have just brought a child into the world what message is that sending out to your child we had an agruement so we spilt up instead of trying instead of trying to bring out the best in each other no one said relationships are easy but they are hard you always have to work at them and it’s about growing with them

For the sake of his vocalizing his displeasure at you, let the court hold him at the words he is trying to put you off balance as he can’t handle you period! You better have a plan that puts your child’s needs out front and your inability as a couple to find a common ground to start a concerted effort to communicate, something you the mother may regret not addressing his displeasure of you?

Apparently you have some issues. Why would you hold him from being a dad because he won’t answer?

3 Likes

:triangular_flag_on_post:… don’t ignore it. Let the situation settle down. But NEVER with hold the baby from him. That child is just as equally his as it is yours! Just because you two don’t work out doesn’t mean he can’t be a great father…

3 Likes

Do whatever you need to relax and some space will do you some good. All you needs a couple nights to see if you miss them and want them an vice versa. First, ask him where you stand. Is he still in love with you? And you him? If so, I truly believe you can over come this( with hard work of course). If y’all aren’t in love anymore accept it and figure out what the next move is. Not everyone is meant to be with the person they had a child with. My baby’s father and I split up when my daughter was maybe 7 or 8 months old. Things change and so do people. Take your time to really think about what you want before you try to open a dialogue about it.

Stay single my friend!

1 Like

It sounds like he wants out.

Well my husband and I had to go through hell and back. You love each other it’s just you come home stressed from work it sounds. If something’s bothering you and making you irritated you have to tell him sorry it’s not him and explain why you’re frustrated and you didn’t mean to take it out on him. Randomly get and be sexy one night before you two go to bed. Also my husband and I made a rule that when we do argue no one is allowed to leave you’re not trying to kill each other, just go to another room and don’t talk to each other. Make him his favorite dinner or desert. If no one is cheating or physically hurting one another than don’t give up. Have family time on your weekends. Show him you love him and he will sow you back.

1 Like

Unless he is a threat to the child do not keep him from that child. Noe if he chooses not to be around thats on him. But children shouldnt be used as weapons and shouldnt be kept from one parent by the other out of anger or spite.

My advice is give him some space and time to cool off. My childs father and i almost never fought. But when we do things can get heated. Hes told me numerous times to get out and not come back. And one time i actually did. But we worked things out. We just realized that when we are on the verge of a fight we bith need to take a breather to calm down and then talk it out.

And if yall do talk once hes calmed down and still decide that its best to be apart(even if its just for awhile) dont keep that baby from him just because yall arent together. Thats not fair to him or the baby

5 Likes

Your a shitty mom for even thinking about using your child as hostage! With your mindset, who can really blame him for wanting to leave…

Geez. He doesn’t want to be with you. So you don’t know if you want to let him see his daughter :face_vomiting:

5 Likes

If there is no custody order in place the father can keep the child and not give it back to its mother. Then you would have to fight in court to even get visitation. Just something to keep in mind before you let the child stay with the father. Get a custody order in place.

Your baby is not part of your argument
Dont involve the baby

4 Likes

It has nothing to do with the kid. Wth?

4 Likes

I personally hate when mothers use the kids against the father. U can’t force him to stay and be with u. Maybe he needs time away? Don’t blow up his phone and be that crazy ex. Just let it all go and move on. There’s support groups for single mothers. JUST DON’T USE YOUR KID TO GET BACK AT HIM even if he’s cold hearted towards you.

7 Likes

U let him go . Hes not happy and hes stated that . Let him stil see the baby tho cos that’s the right thing to do for the situation as a whole. Head up , life goes on x

3 Likes

He said he doesn’t want you anymore. You’re just gonna hurt yourself more by having a one sided relationship. Maybe just give him his space and let him know that you’re still willing to talk and figure out visitation for your child.

1 Like

You don’t keep the child from him either way. Whether you are mad he is mad or you split. That is wrong. I would let it be for a couple days. If he isn’t answering calls I would say he isn’t ready to talk yet

5 Likes

Drop the attitude. Be submissive to your man. Arrogance kills relationships.

8 Likes

‘I don’t really know if I want to let him see our daughter this weekend because I just feel he’s so cold-hearted and won’t give me an answer.’
This statement says all I need to know about you. I bet this isn’t the first time you’ve used her against him either.

14 Likes

Honestly if you’re thinking of keeping his daughter from him over how he feels about your behaviour or attitude then you’re the problem, the child shouldn’t be bought into it. You need to look at yourself here because that sounds pretty toxic on your part

18 Likes

He’s obviously thought that longer then since Sunday, it just came out after a fight. And don’t use your daughter as a pawn, you’ll hurt her more then hurting him. Not including the fact the arguement is between you 2 not her, and if he wants to go. Let him.

6 Likes

Let him go you. you are not bowing down to him so he doesn’t like it… some men can’t cope with strong women so maybe you are better off without him. And you have a baby that needs to be looked after …best of luck to you and take care .

Let him go, sorry to say it sounds like hes done darling x

3 Likes

You woman really know how to
Pick a good family man lol

1 Like