My ex won't stop contacting our daughter

So my ex and I split up in the beginning of August. I have an 11 yo daughter from a previous relationship that I have full custody of. Ex was told he is to have no contact with my daughter. But he keeps texting her. Putting her picture on his Facebook. I feel like there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I guess my question is, at what point does this become harassment? At what point does him putting her pictures on his public social media violate her privacy? Even when we were together he wasn’t exactly father material, he definitely isn’t now that we have separated. He’s toxic, manipulative, and narcissistic. How can I stop this without having to change her number? How do I get him to leave her alone? He doesn’t message me, just my child. Hes not saying anything wrong tbh, just that ge loves and misses her, but he was told not to contact her. In wv for reference.


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My ex won't stop contacting our daughter - Mamas Uncut

Sounds very inappropriate to me…get legal documents to stop him and have him arrested if he contacts her again…too many young children take up missing or kidnapped by previous relationships…to me I would be very concerned after he was told no contact…protect your child…


Block his number on her phone and warn him if he doesn’t stop posting pics of her that you’ll pursue legal action.


If you telling him to stop isnt working, i would change her number immediately.


Get an attorney and also change her number


Maybe they have a close relationship…i have been in my stepkids life since they was 4month and 2 now they r 12 and 14…if me and their dad break up i will still talk to thm and have a relationship with thm. Especially for they can see their sisters and brother all the time. Maybe he had a bond with her and felt like a daughter and father relationship.


block him from all her accounts & numbers and let him know you’ll press charges if he contacts her again.


Block his number in her phone


my Granddaughter had a stepfather from 2 years old and they split when she was 9 years old. When my daughter and her hubby split the court gave her ex, stepfather rights and he gets the same access to her daughter as he does to the son they had together. The only thing different is that he doesnt have to pay child support for her and if he wants to take her out of the country on a holiday he needs my daughters permission for both children and she needs his for her son


Are you saying he is not her biological father? If he isn’t then that sounds weird.


If he was ordered not to contact the step daughter, there’s a reason behind that. Block him from her phone, better yet, change the number. Contact the schools and make sure they don’t let her leave with him. Something doesn’t sound right. If he wasn’t father material when you were together, why is he wanting in her life now. Keep your daughter safe.


As long as he isn’t saying anything out of the way I don’t see no harm in him writing her maybe she feels like his daughter. How long was he in her life? I think that plays a big role in it also.


I wouldn’t break that bond maybe that’s the only father figure that she has in her life doesn’t mean that you guys don’t get along that he doesn’t still want to be around her


You have full custody…we dont know if her biological father is in the picture…we also dont know how many of HER 11 years your last ex was in her life. If he has been in her life the majority of her life then there is probably a bond there (he has been her dad)
Are you sincerely upset because he stays in touch with her or are you upset because of your own personal feelings concerning y’alls relationship?
Ask your daughter about the conversations…tell her what you think or feel concerning him…if you are seriously having issues for legitimate reasons get a restraining order for her phone and any other contact. She is a minor so he probably wouldn’t want to go to jail.


#1 did they have a Close relationship?
If not then it’s sounds like it should be looked at as inappropriate
#2 was it you that ended the relationship and they weren’t all that close?
If so then he’s probably trying to use her as a pawn to get you back by showing he such a good loving father type. Classic manipulation and definitely narcissistic.
Lots of variables here that need answers to give you an accurate response.
Sounds like to me it’s most likely him trying to use her to get back to you.
I mean we dont have an idea of what your daughter thought of this person. Many people are toxic in their relationships but good to their kids. And no she may not be his but if you were together a long time he might love her as his own. Really need more info to make an accurate response.


I would block his number in her phone and on all forms of social media and text him from your phone reiterating that there is to be no contact from him to her that way you have proof that you reminded him of the no contact request. As far as him posting pictures of her on his social media I would again ask him to cut it out just make sure that there is a date and maybe even a time visable (so that if you end up in court) as proof of non-compliance on his part.


He is contacting her to annoy you. Why is he not to have any contact with her? Block him on all your accounts and hers too. Block him so you do not see what he is doing and move forward with out him in your life. Explain fully to her to never respond to him in any way and to stay away.


You have full custody. That dose not mean they cant have a relationship. As long as not saying anything wrong - let play out.
I had full custody of my daughter - that I still allowed call,text between her and her dad. Just because he cant have custody - dosent mean they cant speak.
He still her father -

If he was told by the judge not to contact her, then he is violating a court order. You should contact your lawyer and let him know what is going on. There must have been some reason why he was ordered to have no contact with her. How does she feel about him texting her?


She has a right to a relationship with him.

Try the opposite. Allow contact once a week at a set time, for example.


Odd to feel comfortable enough to call her our daughter… but I’d block him

Im torn but to me i would protect my child above all else. He could be sorry he isnt seeing the child anymore. Some ppl are weird maybe tvis is his way of expressing it im better at writing than talking and i suck at relationships. I would tell her never under any circumstances go anywhere with him meet him let him take her anywhere etc.

What is wrong with changing her number? I would change it now. Have you heard the word pedophile?


Sounds like he’s a creep. Block him from contacting her.

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You don’t make a child suffer because you divorce her step dad .
If she wants him to let them continue their bonding

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Block him from her phone and yours

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I love my exes kids but this is weird as hell. Why ? You need to change that number.

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Restraining order. That’s just to creepy.


My ex tried this same bs, but I know what he’s about. Wouldn’t surprise me if he was trying to get her on his side, to try and convince you to get back together. Toxic, narcissistic and manipulative. Block the number.


I’d change her number right away and block his as well

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Get an order of protection!

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How long were you together? I think this plays a factor in it.


Your going to have to change her number or block his as# from all her profiles. Turn him in for not doing what he’s supposed to. If he wasn’t a father before why now, you don’t have to let your daughter talk to him


The worst part about this page, regardless of what the OP is, the comment sections are always filled with clearly bitter closed minded women who can’t separate themselves from anything :rofl:


You can block his number from her phone. Block his social media accounts from seeing your stuff or just go in and flag all the pictures. Tell h if he continues you will get the police involved. Document everything, every time you’ve had to tell him to stop and he has refused. May need that later…


Ok- If he’s been court ordered to have no contact, that means NO CONTACT. None. Texting her is a violation of that court order. You need to take screen shots of all the texts and go back to court. He’s love-bombing her and setting her up to turn against you. He doesn’t love her or miss her. He’s using her as a pawn to get to you. And, because you’re “nice”, he doesn’t think you’ll do a damn thing about it. Put a stop to it NOW. Block his number on her phone, and take him to court.


Some of these comments have me shaking my head. He’s her ex boyfriend. She clearly states she asked him to have no contact with her. Clearly this man is trying to use this little girl to get to her mother. He has no rights to the child and doesn’t need to be contacting an 11 year old that he has no relationship too.


Everyone saying “don’t break the bond they have” but she never mentioned how long they were together… could have been a year or less, if that’s the case hell no I wouldn’t want him contacting my daughter!


Have you blocked him? It’s his way of getting under your skin. Block him from everything.


I feel like it or not saying the whole story and he is texting her obviously is because he loves her so I don’t see a problem with him keeping in contact with her he’s not bothering you my boyfriend raise my daughter since she was a year old I would never tell him he couldn’t contact her to her that’s her father even though she does know her biological dad and he is in her life also she has two dads if I ended it with him that doesn’t mean that they broke up too . That’s selfish


Block or chnage her number. He’s just doing it as a way to get at you. Classic narcissistic behavior. All the best moving forward x

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If it’s court ordered, he’s in contempt. If not, you need to change her number and block him from all her social media. She’s only 11 so changing her number to where only family and friends have it wouldn’t be difficult. Don’t wait until it becomes harassment.

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If he isn’t suppose to be in contact with her then I would call police… and change her number if you really want it to stop.

If he was no good for you his is not good for your daughter change her number

He’s trying to use her feelings to change your mind. Using her to get to you. True narcissistic behavior. Do not CAVE! Make sure your child understands what is transpiring

Ik your daughter is only 11, but does she agree with you? Because in reality it is her choice whether she wants him in her life or not, that’s the tough part about bringing other ppl around your children… I still have contact with my mom’s ex who wasn’t very father like but he was in my life for a while…

You should be able to block his number on her phone and you can also block him from Facebook if he tries to contact you in any other way after he’s been blocked thats when I’d start calling it harassment . But even in your post you do say "our daughter " so maybe he does have some right ?? Idk

That kind of really depends on if he helped raise her because if he did then he should be able to talk to her

If he calls her you don’t know what the conversations are. I’d be concerned!

Having been in a relationship where we both had small children from other relationships, mine were 2&3 his was 2, we each helped raise the others children until they were 13, 12 &11 when we divorced. My oldest still wanted a relationship with him and his wanted a relationship with me. We were their parents regardless of biology. My daughter was VERY close to my ex, he ended up cutting her out of his life after raising her for 10 years, it devastated her. If he was in her life for a good period of time then there is definitely a bond between them and cutting that off could cause pain to your child. Leave your issues out of it and let them speak, unless the conversation is inappropriate!!

You seriously need to protect your daughter. No need for others opinions on social media.

I would take the matter to the police and let them do something about it.

Contact an attorney. Block him from her number and fb

Why does a 11 year old have a Facebook? And if she does you should be in control who she can contact or have on her list. And it’s called BLOCK. I’m sure you know this. Block his phone and his social media pages. If she letting him through after you done that :thinking:.,Then as I said why at 11 does she have a phone or social media outlet that your not controlling?

I report him to the police. If theres a order saying no contact oder then he’s breaking the order.

I’d still change the phone number as well as block his number completely

Is he her dad or just an ex that was a step dad for a while Cus if he’s her biological daddy then nothing u can do but if he’s not the dad then you can stop him by going police

Sounds like hes grooming her. Get the law involved!

Need to full story to even give proper advice. How long were you together for? Did she consider him a father figure. There’s not enough here.

Contact law enforcement

You can report the posting of the pics to Facebook.

And you didn’t say if he a ex husband or just a ex boyfriend ?

Change her phone number and block her social media from him.

I’m sorry but I’d take legal action. If u told him not to post and he still is, that’s actually kinda creepy.

Its really not that hard. That’s not her father. If the mother says not to talk to her. Don’t fuckin talk to her. Period. Theres no “she has a right” “he has a right”. No. Yall are broken up and that’s not her father. Tell him to knock it the fuck off. Time for a number change.

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Get a restraining order. Report every time he violates it.

Restraining order?? And maybe don’t bring “toxic, manipulative & narcissistic” people around your children.

Block him from her phone and all her socially media

This is harassment. Change her number

What type of no contact order has been issued?

You’re an asshole. period.

If he has no contact order you can call 911 hello wake up on that
2 either block his number which I would do since he has a no contact order.
3 better yet change her number so he can’t use someone else’s phone to text her