My ex-husband and I have been divorced now for a year. We have four children together. I started dating. My ex knew this and who I am dating. Today my boyfriend was here when my ex pulled in the driveway to drop the kids off. He didn’t come in, and when he left, he sent me a text stating that for now on if my boyfriend is there for me to meet him at the gas station. He continued to say he doesn’t want to ever meet anyone I’m dating or wants to see them or hear about them. My ex has dated two women since our divorce. I did not act like this. I want to meet them, to know who is around my children. To have peace and us all work together for the happiness of our children. Does this ever stop or change? Will he ever stop acting like this and be mature?
Have him switch to pick up then if he can’t get over it then don’t pick them up its his choice and then you do pick up when its your turn to have them
Look at it this way. At least if they aren’t together there won’t be any problems like fights. Hopefully he will come around but pick your battles
He better, because his childishness is going to reflect on how the children act. Ask me how I know. As their dad he should want the same. To know who is around his children. Just because you went your separate ways doesn’t mean you all can’t get along for the sake of the children.
Seems he still loves you and it’s hard on him to see 6ou moved on
My ex was the same way it never changed even though i met all of his girlfriends let them come to baseball games and everything.
Following because I am going through the exact same thing.
I’d like to know who ended the marriage, because this sounds a lot like my ex-husband. Not that he ever had much to do with his child after we split, but he used to randomly message me about who I was dating and then the conversation would quickly turn to “I want my wife and family back” even after he had moved in with and had a child with someone else. I understand he has dated since your separation, but if you’re the one that ended the marriage, it may be that he’s not over it and it’s hurtful for him to see you and his kids with someone else. My suggestion, agree with him. If he is picking the kids up or dropping them off, and your boyfriend is there, meet him somewhere. Eventually, he will meet someone and it will be more than just dating and at that point, it will all change. Assuming that you still have a decent relationship with one another and co-parent well. Some people (men and women) like my ex-husband, are just always asshats. If that’s the case, then keep things how they are and tell him to eff off.
Sounds like jealousy. He will either come around or he won’t I wouldn’t make a big deal of it to him because that will only fuel the fire… just say “okay” and then after a while, If the new bf is still in the picture, bring him along for the ride and let him know he is a part of your life now… time to deal with it
I would never be comfortable with strange men around my kids. The risks are just too high. So he has every right to not want his kids alone with your SO.
Where does the agreement say to drop kids off at? He sounds super immature.
What you do is none of his business. He can’t tell u who you can have around your child… I went through the same shit with my ex husband… still going through it but it’s getting better. He even once tried getting a ppo on my boyfriend and that didn’t work childish bullshit is what it is
Regardless of emotions, it’s not about the adults. It’s about the kids, so honestly he can get over it. What’s your parenting plan state? Stick to that!
I would understand if he didnt want his kids to be around him, but to act jealous that you’re dating is weird.
He sound selfish and childish. He had no issue dating other women, but the idea of your dating makes him jealous?! That’s some bs right there.
until the kids turn 18 you shouldn’t date at all its the responcibil thing to do.
plus 2nd mariages with kids have a 70 percent divorce rate
Tell him no. He can pick up and drop off from your house like normal. It isn’t about him, it’s about the kids. And he sounds like he’s being childish because he’s upset that you moved on. He isn’t upset about the kids being around the bf, he’s upset that he might have to see the bf.
Tell him to grow up.ask him " how old are you?"
Nope, they never get over it. I’ve been separated from my ex since 2012, divorced since 2016. A few months ago a male friend of mine and myself went into a neighborhood business where my ex’s girlfriend (of 8 years) works. I know her from when my ex did get visitation with my kids and never had a problem with her. The first time we were there we had a conversation about my kids and her kids. The second time no issues. The third time my ex happened to be either hanging out or working there but didn’t say anything when we were inside. Instead, he had his gf come out and tell us that I was not welcome back to use the business (it’s a local gun range). My ex must’ve thrown a fit and she followed us outside to say something (immature, and terrible business practices). He’s not over me still but at least I don’t have to deal with him bc he is not permitted (court order) to see his kids. If I was as immature as him I could’ve taken him back to court for child support if he in fact is working there since he was behind the counter and in a gun shop that’s a big no no if you are not an employee.
That’s completely immature and absolutely ridiculous I literally go into the house and sit down and have coffee with my ex and his girlfriend. Not cause I like them but because we have a kid together and need to be parenting together
There’s nothing wrong with that. My parents had to meet somewhere public for pick up and drop off. Less drama honestly. you can’t force someone to be okay with something. He’s being mature. He didn’t cause a scene for seeing another man there’s he texted you and let you know he’s not comfortable with it and that’s that. Unless you want to keep forcing it be okay but if drama ever happens it be on you.
Nah. It’s been 5 years and my sons dad still won’t meet my boyfriend of 4 years. The man who his son lives with … I wanted to meet his gf that he started dating directly after me… and she tried to attack me which ended in a restraining order and lots of court. So ridiculous
I’m not saying it’s not immature. But a lot of people avoid the drama of driving to their ex’s house by exchanging kids in a public place. I don’t see the problem with it (like a problem enough to stir up a whole issue) he’s probably just hurt or feeling jealous. Whatever. If he doesn’t want to see him he doesn’t have to. Just stop going to his house to pick up the kids too and meet a halfway point. Saves gas anyway and neither of you are up in each other’s business.
I would try to go at this in a respectful manner as not to cause anymore issues. But honestly, I would tell him that you’ve both moved on and he’s going to have to accept that or you can have a court order put in place and give him no choice.
Hes still not over you. This will definitely effect the children. I know. I was one of those children and so were my boys. Its a control thing. He can’t control whom you have over. Period. The only thing that matters are the kids. What’s best for them is for everyone to get along. Trust me even when you think they don’t know what’s going on…they do. Kids are way smarter then we give them credit for. He needs to grow the f up and put his children first. Don’t give in to meeting him somewhere. If he wants to see his children then he will be a grown adult and come to the door and meet ur bf and be kind and the children will be so much better off. Divorce is hard on kids and it carries into their adulthood.
He has the right to not want to hear or know about anyone you’re dating me personally, I’d want to know who was around my kid. Don’t make it a bigger issue than it is.
He’s being mature enough to tell you he doesn’t feel comfortable being or knowing who you’re dating. This can change. Actually, I’m surprised to hear it it’s coming from the man when usually it’s the woman. The grown up thing to do is parent b picks up on their parenting days and parent a picks up on their days. Not both unless it’s more convenient for the both of you to meet while you’re out and about.
Why shouldn’t she date her kids know that their parents are divorced ain’t no man gonna wait till their kids get 18
tell him to get over it oh well
Its been 5 years amd we still have issues with this. I wanna meet her but he doesnt wanna meet him etc
Maybe he’s just uncomfortable with it ,maybe he’s still not gotten over the break up,I mean he’s not causing a secene Infront of the children he text you to say he isn’t comfortable and to argange something else for pick up/drop off.
My ex took nearly 2 and a half years to come round to the idea that my now partner lives with us.
after talking to him his reason was he felt uncomfortable being in our family home but we all spoke and me and my partner told him that he is welcome in our home because his children are here we now sit ,chat have a coffee we are all working together to raise the kids.
It can just take time for one or both to adjust it won’t always happen fast
My now husband’s ex-wife did the same thing. If it was just me at home, she wouldn’t pick up or take the kids, she would make my husband do it. Then she got pissy about me picking them up from school. She got over it pretty quick when she realized that meant she had to be around them a whole lot more, not to mention if my husband couldn’t do it, they’d be waiting at the school for two hours. He needs to get over it, being immature gets him nowhere.
Honestly, I don’t think it’s crazy to accommodate him and meet at a gas station. Or, it your bf doesn’t live with you, have him come to your house after the kids are dropped off. Also, check and see if your divorce agreement/decree says anything on the particulars of drop offs and pick ups.
I’ve never been in this situation, but when my sister and her ex were newly divorced, drop off/pick up was at a gas station.
Its not his choice anyways its whatever the courts say.
He can still drop off the kids without talking with him erc
My ex called one day I let my boyfriend answer when I was cooking my ex flew all over my ass he had run off with my best friend then wouldn’t have nothing to do with his children his loss!
My ex husband acted the same way. He was still in love with me and hurt that I ended the marriage. I asked to meet his girlfriend and he refused to acknowledge my boyfriend. This year makes 5 years since we’ve been divorced and finally he says hello to my boyfriend (same guy I’ve been with the past 4 years) and acknowledges that he is part of our children’s lives. So I want to say it takes time…but it does get better.
Let me say this which is off subject, be careful who you put around your children. It could be a concern issue for him. Too many mothers boyfriend’s end up killing the mothers children. Be cautious of who you date & bring around your kids. He may not be over you also but he’s not being completely unreasonable. Meeting at a public place may be best for both parties.
Oh grow up, dude. Lol
Hes jealous. He’s just gonna have to work thru that on his own . I wouldn’t stress myself out too much over it
He’s just being touchy men like to try and have abit of control over us to put it politely he’ll act moody about it to try and get him out the way he shouldn’t really have a problem if he’s dated also. Bit hypocritical to be honest🤷🏼♀️
Who cares . If he doesn’t want to meet your new partners he has the right to say that. If you want to know his business who’s he’s dating and he agrees then good for you. People are allowed to have their own feelings about specific things.
Immaturity at its finest. As a father you would honestly think he would want to know who is around his children. I can now see why he’s your ex.
Why are either of you having people you are “dating” around your kids so freely. It’s a no for me…
Did you end the relationship bc that would make sense maybe he’s still sore or jealous about it but if not then I don’t really get it bc I would want to know who was around my kids
Feel sorry for the children.
He’s uncomfortable because he still has feelings. Try to make him comfortable by agreeing to the station for now after a few times let him know how inconvenient it is for you and have him bring them home
I have no interest in meeting whoever my ex is dating nor does my ex want to meet my husband. Has nothing to do with jealousy. Just no interest. We should trust they’ll protect the kids despite who is around.
Though I have stipulations in order in my custody agreement to prevent trash from being around.
Well it likely hurts him to see it. Id say say he still has some feelings. A mutual spot shouldnt be out of the question.
He wants to control you . Just don’t answer his text when he text you and ask you who’s there. It’s none of his business
First of all, he needs to grow the hell up. Secondly, what does your custody order say about pick ups and drop offs? Because that’s the be all end all in what happens. If you dont have one get one asap.
Sorry you are dealing with that. It will only get worse. Try the parenting app called Our Family Wizard. It is awesome and will help if you ever have to go to court over custody/visitation issues. Nothing can be deleted and it is a more effective way of communicating with one another.
Mature you say?!?! Nope cause he’s a man. He seems to be jealous to me and maybe that is just his personality and if it is it won’t change but if it’s because he still has feelings for you then it should change once the feelings fade. good luck!
I’m sad for the children
Immature and controlling. The children end up suffering because he is selfish and petty
My ex is the same way… He don’t even want to see his kids cause I have moved on… But the reason I left him was due to cheating on me so men always think they have the control so just put ur foot down
I have been divorced for 4 years, my bf and I have been together for almost 2 years and we moved in together… my ex won’t pick up or drop off at my house. I have been to his house each time he’s moved because I want to know where my kids are half the time.
Jesus… people move WAY too fast with kids involved. Smh. Why do people drag kids through their dating lives???
Tell him to build a friggen bridge and get over it.
Anything that happened between you is in the past. Your not dating, ex’s, nothing anymore you are parents.
Your children come first and everything else between you two is irrelevant.
He’s in for a long misserable life if he’s going to act like that
I’d respect his wishes. Its hard to swallow that another man is filling the role of dad more than him & he can’t do anything to prevent it. It’s not a bad idea to transfer kids in a public place anyway. What harm does it do?
He doesn’t need to come in to drop off the kids and it’s none of his business who is at your house when he does. You do not have any obligation to prevent his discomfort. He will get over it.
Sounds gealous to me,
Every person is different and respecting each other wishes is the best solution and it’s got nothing to do with growing up or be mature!! It’s a self preference respect it!!!
Uh, tell him no. You’ll meet in in your damn driveway. Boyfriend needs to stay out of sight or not be there when he drops the kids off. He isn’t a part of this in any way. He’s a boyfriend. But your ex doesn’t get to change shit because he can’t cope.
Follow your court order for your exchange if there is one and then tell him there is no reason that person can’t be there unless he wants to go back to court but yea it stop my ex finally did the day he seen my new ring
Follow the court order and if doesnt agree he can take u back to court for modification or he can be held in contempt
Court order: problem solved.
If his actions become an issue. Get it in writing, have it signed by a judge And be happy with the new life you create for yourself and your children.
Why are you divorced if hes so worried about the kids?should have thought of that before.
My opinion, I think he’s not over you and seeing another man there is hard for him to see. He may come across as being immature but deep down he’s probably wishing he was yours again.
He is probably hurt. Men don’t take rejecting well.
He should’ve thought of this when he stuck his dick where it didn’t belong when you were married. If he can see people so can you. He needs to grow up and be an adult which it sounds like he doesn’t know how to do
My son’s father did the same with me. I complied with the location but when he found someone new all of a sudden it was ok for the drop to be done at my house again. Don’t let them play the game
Sounds like his maturity level is that of a child. And he sounds controlling. But also unless this is a serious relationship you may want to wait to introduce the bf.
Are you in the same home you shared with your husband and kids? This may be the issue. It may just be hard for him to grasp that. My ex just pulls up on the street and our son gets out the car and comes in home. To say meet him somewhere else though, is a bit extreme.
He screwed up by cheating if he never they would no doubt still be together he should grow balls man up and deal with it
Yes you should be able to move on he is probably or will soon be darting again
Just meet him at the gas station. Don’t feed into any of his crap if he gives you crap about it. Compromise and communication is the foundation of co-parenting parenting together. Even if you are ok with seeing his gf, if he isn’t ok seeing yours then honor that and just meet him down the road. Don’t have to make a big deal about it and create and unnecessary drama.
Mine hasn’t yet… it’s been 4 years.
And is even worse since I got married and had a baby.
He cheated, he has been dating but he has demands lmaoooo stfu and drop them kids off at the house already!
You do not need to meet him at the gas station. He needs to grow up.
This makes me so mad for you I literally wanna go punch him in the face. He’s acting like a 15 year old CHILD like why be like that?