So I just found out I’m pregnant and my estimated due date is a couple days off from my sister in laws angel baby that was born still born last year. The baby unfortunately came too early but her original due date was a couple days short of mine but a year apart if that makes sense. I’m nervous to tell her the dates. This wasn’t at all planned to be that close. I feel bad.
Just gently tell her. And be understanding when she gets upset. Just reassure her u love her
I wouldn’t be afraid to tell her. I lost a baby when she was 4 months old . Years later, my cousins daughter was born on the same day that my baby passed. She asked me to be her Godmother. If anything I just makes her more special to me
You can also make her the god parents and in our ways (native) we believe the child is coming back through your child
This isn’t something you shouldn’t hide or be afraid to share. I have two grown kids and one that I lost. You can’t plan a due date. Not possible. Don’t go over the top when you let the family know, be respectful of her loss and remember you deserve this joy and happiness.
Just cuz its ur due date doesnt mean it will b born on that day I’m sure shell b happy for u just comfort her
Hopefully she can see the beauty in this new precious life
Just tell her the month then or (early, mid, or late) of that month… or you can just tell her the date and ask her to be there or the God mother… also due dates aren’t always accurate
My brothers daughter was born the day my daughter died
She could view it as a positive thing. Like it’s a sign from her baby telling her he’s okay. Ya know ?
maybe just give give her a ball park when your baby is due. not all babies come when are suppose to anyways.
Speaking from experience. My 1st daughter was born preemie and died 17 days later of complications. Around the time I went back to work several of my co workers were afraid to tell me they were expecting. I was touched that they were hesitant to share their news but still happy for them. What happened to me was unexpected but I was still able to find happiness for them. Of course she will grieve the would have beens and could have beens. Just tell her face to face if possible and let her know her feelings matter to you. And remember her baby. Say his/her name. All moms want to know their child mattered to them and others. Bless you and congrats on your new bundle
Its hard having a baby due on a day thats remembered for loss. My sisters due date is the 2nd anniversary of my grandmas death and its been hard on her. Its not like you planned your due date so hopefully she will understand.
Dont be afraid to tell her, but also be there for her if it hurts her a little. Just make sure shr knows shes loved and that you understand if shes upset/hurt.
My friend s had a still born she came to our sons baby shower held him had s baby nine months later but gently told them they didn’t have to come earlier they chose to come I’m sure she would be happy for u
Why it happen in god time
Don’t be … it’s sad to hear of her loss but surely she wouldn’t think you did this on purpose. I hope she is excited for you … and don’t remind her of the date… move forward .all the best to you and partner
My best friend and I were due a few days apart. I miscarried and she has a gorgeous little girl. She was hesitant to update me but I’m so glad she did. I was happy for her, and our family has grown now - at its own pace.
I went through something similar. I lost my son May 2014 and my sister told my husband (not me) that she was pregnant, on Mother’s Day. It hurt so much. I lashed out because I was hurting and in so much pain. I apologized to her later, though I still feel it was poor taste to tell my husband instead of me (he was hurting too, but she wanted to tell us and was afraid to tell me) and on Mother’s Day.
From the mother of an angel, just tell them. You don’t have to say the date though if you think that will be painful. Just maybe say ‘I’m 2 months pregnant’.
I see why you would be nervous to say something. Just make sure you’re there for her when you tell her. Im sure it’ll be mixed emotions for the both of you. But just remember, you can’t control when your due date is. She might see this as a good thing.
Be honest…no one can predict exact dates.
Tell her, it’s a bit of light in a dark time for your family.
Just tell her early mid or late of the month. If she asks a date tell her. I personally would also tell her separately incase she does ask the date so she’s not around a huge group. It may take her some time to come around and she may keep a distance. If she does, give her space. You can also talk to her hubs and explain this to him so he also understands that you’re giving her space incase she says something to him
She may surprise you…my little boy was born the same day as his great grandfather passed away and my husbands family saw it as a blessing
Well, if she knows when you got pregnant, I’m sure she can figure out within a week or 2 when the baby is due on her own. I think she would feel more insulted than anything if you make a big deal out of “not” telling her. Assuming she is too slow to figure out when you’re due on her own and assuming that your baby being born is a big deal to her is the absolute most insulting thing you can do. Give the girl some credit and by “not” telling her you’re actually making it a bigger deal than it needs to be.
My niece lost her angel baby (stillborn) on my daughter’s bday. She is always celebratory for my daughter but we never forget about him either.
You could cushion the initial shock it by saying your due date is a week or 2 over or under that date, and any Mum knows you can have it anytime around that date, by that time she might be a bit more open to it or will see the birth of her neice or nephew as comforting healing ect if I got told that news I’d be thinking what a miracle. But if it’s only been a year since she lost hers, it might be painful at first to hear. Congrats btw
My daughter found out she was pregnant with her first child the same day I miscarried. She was so upset and hesitant to tell me but also needed me as a mom. As I explained to her, when losing a child nothing can take that pain away but I can share your joy. When you lose a child, it stays with you forever. Share your joy with her and be sensitive to her pain because that will never go away regardless of the date on a calendar. Prayers for you and your family
I lost my daughter after a strong fight in NICU care for a month and 2 days. Almost 18 months ago. I wouldnt be afraid to tell her. I would plan to find a way to tell her for both of your benefit. Maybe make a lunch or girls event with it. Something nice for both of you and so U can support her with any feels she will need to process. Everyone greives differently. I am sure she will experience happiness among them all. Dont wait because then she will feel like she lost out on knowing and hurt that you didnt tell her out of fear of her own emotions. I dont know how close you are but maybe finding a way to include her and the lost baby… Have her Guardian… Ask to use a part of the name as a middle name for your child…Ask her to help with certain baby projects (nursery, baby shower, shopping tasks…) She might need time to give you a response…but I am sure it would help with the process for both.
I have several due dates all around the calendar and I have seen children from friends and family that were born around those dates. It can hurt, but the right thing to do on her end is be happy for you. If she needs space or if she lashes out or accuses you of doing it on purpose try not to take it personally. She’s hurt. Not that it makes it ok but it’s understandable. Just tell her you’re pregnant and that you wanted to be honest with her. There’s only so much you can do but don’t hold your own joy back for anyone else if they can’t be there for you the right way.
Family death may not be the same as losing a child so I wouldn’t compare the two but I was born on the 4th anniversary of my maternal grandfather’s death. My mom said it gave her a reason to be happy instead of sad.
I have a friend who had tried for years to get pregnant when I got pregnant. I told my friend first, to warn him. He was happy for us and he said not to worry, that we should post all we wanted.
I had a friend, we were pregnant together. She found out she was pregnant first and I a few weeks later I found out I was a week apart from her. She lost her baby at 7 months. It was hard to be around her and plan the baby shower because I could tell she was hurting from loosing her baby. Her due date was December 23 and mine was the 28th. Just be honest and ask her if she would like to be included or if she’d rather you not mention much out of respect. It happens, and it’s sad but you can’t control your due date
Be honest. My baby died at 41+4 wks and it would kill me if my family lied to me. Be honest, yes it will sting but not as much as feeling betrayed by family
Coming from someone who has an angel baby…we just want to be treated how you would treat us if we didn’t have our angels. My sister got pregnant, on accident after I lost my son the day before my due date and had been trying to get pregnant again for 5 years. It hurt my feelings more that she was tip toeing around me planning her shower, and deciding names without including me because she thought she was protecting my feelings. I had to tell her “just because it sucks for me doesn’t mean that I’m not happy for you”
My sister lost her baby on new years day. My son was born a week later. I know it must of been really sad for her to come see me at the hospital bc shes been trying to get pregnant for a few years now.
I’d not tell her until you have an ultrasound and they better calculate your due date. That way you don’t unintentionally hurt her feelings.
I was pregnant with my brother’s girlfriend we were do about a week apart when I lost my baby she was amazing she decided that it was our baby… but she also didn’t get mad or upset when I needed to pull away a little bit because I was grieving when she gave birth and I didnt… fast forward nine years the baby is a nine-year-old sassy little girl who acts just like her aunt (me) and I have a 9 month old now who absolutely adores my brother’s girlfriend it will all work out you just need to be very loving when you tell her… I was included in a lot with my brother and his girlfriend’s baby and that help me with my grieving process
It happens. And the chances of you having your baby on the day that her baby died are pretty slim. Try to be sensitive of course but don’t feel like you have to hide your pregnancy or your due date. Honestly, she’s either going to be over the moon happy for you or she’s going to resent the fact that your baby is ok, whether it’s born near the day her’s died or not.
Maybe dont tell her u due date.
With my first I was pregnant my sister and sister in law all weeks apart. Both of them lost there baby’s but I didnt. My sister was happy for me but my sister in law wasnt. It just depends on how she is. But I would tell her. U never know. They both also lost there’s at 4 months.
She will be excited for you. I had 2 women have miscarriages and I didnt. We were all expecting at the same mouth. They just wanted to be part of my pregnancy more then others. Just reach out. Tell her personally. It’s a sign of respect
Why tell her at all unless she specifically asks… it’s a due date, it’s not set in stone that you will actually have a baby that day. And if you do have to tell her the date, tell her and move on like you would anyone other person. No need to cause unnecessary pain or drama.
Make due date 2 weeks later from hers.
Don’t be afraid. I’m sure she knows it wasn’t plan to be so close.
That day is always going to be hard for her, and yes, she will probably be sad about it but she will also be happy you are having a baby
My sister and I were pregnant at the same time last year, she was farther along than I was by a couple of months. She lost the baby at 14 weeks and our relationship took a downfall (my other sister is toxic and things went even worse).
I just lost our 2nd baby last week at 12 weeks along (we should have been 15 weeks by the time we found out)… With all of that being said. Your baby should still be celebrated. Yes, I’m going through a hard time - but I will never not be excited for another life, as every baby is a miracle.
Tell her, be sympathetic. But there’s no way of hiding it nor should you hide your excitement. Congratulations Mama
I had a best friend exclude me from her baby shower because my baby was born still a month prior. Nothing hurt as bad as being excluded while I was already grieving. Tell her, and let her know you will respect however involved she chooses to be.
Just be honest with her!
I lost my only daughter at 19 days, within weeks of this my older sister had an abortion, I was so sad that she felt like she couldn’t talk to me and dealt without alone…
I found out over a year later…
Samn,the petty stuff ya all worry bout
never feel bad about your own pregnancy on behalf of others…your understanding so talk to her and tell how you dont want to upset her but also not push her out…if its too much she will tell you…let her enjoy becoming an aunt im sure she will be thrilled for you and will hurt for herself but she will cope with you…x