I know the two year old stage is going to be rough, but I’m at my wits end with my daughter. We really can’t take her anywhere causeShe is always screaming. And I’m trying my hardest to not just yell back but I swear she doesn’t listen when I’m quiet. Does anyone have any advice? I’ve tried the 123 and she just does back and is sassy. I’ve tried shhh quiet like a mouse, she yells NO, Any advice will be helpful.
My daughter is two as well and she’s rough she has 5 very much older brothers and is loved to PIECES. This girl when she gets on her soap box is UNBELIEVABLE the only thing that works with her is to literally sit down next to her (I don’t care where I’m at store, park anywhere) and occasionally speak to her, I always start with I love you, she’ll be super sassy and it’s likely a harsh no and this goes on for a few minutes (I do let her cry though) and she’s rough with her words for that few minutes and as we are doing this I scoot closer and closer to her by the end of it I will ask her if she needs a hug, 99% of the time she melts and she tells me she is so sad because of xyz and we chat about it it always ends up in giggles and tons of hugs until she wants to leave and play. It takes lots and lots of patience and lots of self control. The tantrums lesson, I promise a lot of times at least for my daughter she is lacking the ability to fully articulate what she is feeling at the moment. Hugs to you mama your daughter already is a strong lady to be
Ignore her but enjoy her.wait til shes a teenager.they scream a lot louder
My daughter did this and I just walked off every time and told her we’d play when she can quiet down.
Yeah ok!! NOT FROM WHERE IM FROM
2 year olds should not be screamed at or punished. She has a lot of big emotions and lacks the tools for expressing them. You need to work with her and find what she is trying to communicate. If she is screaming or misbehaving she needs to be removed from the situation and you need to find out what is upsetting her.
Get an air horn obviously.
A good spanking always worked with my children, grandchildren and great grands.
Takes away important things from her.
Some kids scream out of frustration when they can’t communicate appropriately, I will talk with her pediatrician and ask for her to get evaluated, make sure that she doesn’t have any hearing issues , if they can’t hear they can not talk and screaming is their way or communication.
My best friend son was exactly like that , always screaming and hitting everyone , he didn’t talk neither, his doctor sent him to get an evaluation and the poor guy was almost deaf , he got surgery on his ears and started talking speech and physical therapy and he is now a new boy , he can talk , he listen and barely scream anymore.
It’s important to know if they have any medical issues becasue you will handle everything in a more understanding way , and will deal with the tantrums and screaming differently.
It’s not fair for a kid to be yell , spank or grounded for stuffs they can’t control
If the only time she’s quiet is when you are yelling back she’s doing this for attention. It’s a great time to teach her independent play if she has not already mastered this. Do not acknowledge bad behavior. If it requires you walking away and folding laundry, etc., then she needs to understand to calm down in order to get attention. But she may also feel like her needs are not being met. ￼
Time out chairs…corners until calmed down then talk to her on her level…the longer she acts out the longer she stays put…
Try to give her a choice in as many things as you can. Do you want to go to the store and behave or do you want to stay home with dad? If you choose the store you are choosing to behave. If you don’t, we will leave. (Then do leave.)
My elder daughter was the same. She drove me to my wits end. Health professionals said she was playing me up and it was my fault for letting her. They showed me how to safely restrain her to calm her, but it made her worse. At 40 she has been diagnosed with autism and ADHD. Her problem was sensory overload - too much going on around her, too much noise or light, even too many toys to choose from could set her off. A young child doesn’t have to be neuro divergent to have the same problem. I agree with others that a calm and quiet approach and removal to a quiet place might be the best option.
For giggles have you had her hearing tested? Or her ears checked… My middle son is the loudest person in the house, he’s always yelling things when he should just be talking in a normal voice, and it turned out that he couldn’t hear because of earwax buildup in his ear canal.
I sit down amd wait for them to finish. I don’t care who looks at me. We will continue when you stop. I keep reassuring them its ok. Get it out. Im here if you need a hug and then we move. They’re young and still learning to regulate emotions. If us as adults can’t, why do we expect them to? Shouting, hitting, telling them to shutup and taking things from them just creates a trauma response later in life.
I have a 23 year old, 20 and 10. No 2 were alike and different things worked for each. You just have to find the balance. And listen. She’s testing your patience because it’s there to test. You are scared of her making a scene. For what reason? Everyone around you is well aware of what 2 year olds do. Address it as it comes up in whatever way it works for you. Sometimes you.may have to raise your voice but the one thing you don’t do is let the environment parent for you. You will find the balance. Just know, everyone has gone through this if they pretend they haven’t shame on them. Kids are also trying to find their balance and sometimes they find it when they find your limits. deep breaths and know it doesn’t last forever.
It sounds cruel but when I nannied I had a lil guy fully verbal just incredibly spoiled he modeled his older sis beh, and it was deplorable. when he threw screaming fits I would calmly walk him to his room and put him in his crib. He had a safe place to calm down, no audience. He couldn’t crawl out of it yet. I would get him in a few mins and just tell him fits & screaming are not the way to ask for things. then when he would start a fit again, I would just calmly say do u need to go to your room? It took about a week but it broke him of tantrums with me. Consistent reinforcement is key. I rarely took him anywhere but walks in neighborhood but if u either don’t give in or take her outside and put her in a safe spot, maybe her car seat etc or just leave the place when she acts up, she will catch in quickly that the manipulation will not get her what she wants. Just stay calm and reinforce that acting up is not the way to ask nicely. Give them a hug at end of each time away but don’t react, just remove them from situation and do not give them whatever they want. It’s a battle if wills at the toddler age. Consistent addressing it calmly and taking them out of the situation and not giving in to their whims is the key. You may need to do practice runs as in go out but just know whatever you are doing or where you are, that if she throws a fit you will leave or remove her from area and only return if she calms down and behaves.
can’t control emotions at that age she could be autistic. She could be having a hard time hearing.
That lovely stage! Haha. Redirect, redirect, redirect! Get on her level & try to just talk to her & help her work through why she may be feeling that way. If she is screaming somewhere, let her know you are going to give her a couple minutes to calm down or you are going to leave. & actually leave with her. I know it is a pain in the butt to drop what you are doing. But hopefully she can understand that screaming doesn’t get what you want, without the whole yelling back to her or anything.
Take away the things she likes. Walk away don’t give her attention when she tells you no. Put her in her room with a few toys.
Man this unlocked a core memory I totally forgot about parenthood I guess that’s a good sign. Anyways, my now 10 year old went through this phase when she was 2 where she screamed. Constantly. And not always like in a defiant I’m-pissed-because-Im-2 way. Just like screamed to communicate? It was terrible. I almost lost my mind, which I was a single mom so there wasn’t much mind left anyways but it seemed wrong to punish her, it really was just her communicating. If that’s the case with yours, I can tell you it lasted MAYBE two months and she outgrew it. Clearly it didn’t traumatize me too bad as I had forgotten until reading your post. Grab a bottle of pain relief for your head and some noise canceling headphones. It’ll go quickly, hopefully.
Children that scream a lot are very intelligent!
I used to tell my children “I’m sorry I can’t understand you when you scream, let me help you “ calm her down so she can gather her thoughts and emotions!!!
Model to her staying calm when overwhelmed-
They are very frustrated because they know what they want but are unable to communicate it. All three of my children were screamers especially our son. That boy had pipes!!!
They all have IQ’s in the mid 130’s. One of our grandsons is amazing at math- he’s 7 screaming was blood curdling!
You’re dealing with a year or two of craziness- but it’s definitely worth it!
I guess im just old fashion but swatt that butt a few times she will learn!! And yes i said swatt not beat there is a big difference.
Check her hearing, maybe she doesn’t know she is screaming!
To many parents today want to be their child’s friend before being a parent. Parents did to learn how to discipline their childern and stop thinking that discipline is a abuse. Abuse is what I went through when my mother would beat me with the vacuum cleaner hose, belt or wooden paddle. These young parents need to put their foot down with their childern and touch them mow that certain things are not okay and there is consequences for bad decisions or actions.
Whatever comes out of her mouth repeat it Lol so if she screams amd cries do the same back she’ll actually stop and look at you like this…
Good old fashioned spanking. Works like a charm but parents these days are too scared to discipline
Give her 10-15 mins of isolation in her room to calm down and play and learn to self regulate. When she’s calm, you talk about it. She needs to understand why she is mad to be able to help you understand. Also a good way to encourage kids to speak up because they’ll get their time where everyone else is just quiet and listens, or asks questions to help them understand too. Put headphones in if you have to. Set a timer. Tell her to go chill, read a book or color, or sit on her bed and pout. When timer goes off it’s time to talk, but not before then or you’ll probably have to start over.
People are really mad about teaching your child to cope with emotions and learn to self regulate… which takes time, which is why you’re there to help. They can learn to be upset but not throw a tantrum and handle it in different ways. I really don’t get it.
Talk to her Dr it may be medical reasons
I use to say ‘my ears hurt and save that outdoor voice for outside’. NO ONE else screams!!! I work with the public and I just don’t understand why the parent’s don’t tell the child how loud and annoying that is!!! No one likes a screamer!!! Ugh
My MILkept a cup of water in the refrigerator and the minute the screaming started she calmly walked the refrigerator and threw it in my daughter’s face. Only happened twice and the behavior stopped!!
First of all have her accessed as she may have heaps of treatable medical issues such as sensory, autism, aspergers. Then seek some help through a child behaviouralist. There is usually a reason as to why they do these things and trying to tell you. Understanding is half the problem. Also read the book the 5 languages of love is a great book for everyone to read.
Lots of great tips listed.
She needs help learning to regulate her emotions. My son loves these!
A Little SPOT of Emotion 8 Plush… https://www.amazon.com/dp/1951287398?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
You also may want to have her hearing checked.
Tell her to shutup and don’t let her talk back to you she’ll never respect you. She’s in your world you’re not in hers she needs to conform to you. I trained my baby starting at one and she never threw a tantrum or get sassy she’s now 10 bc she knows who’s boss. Don’t ever let her drive you crazy no way drive her crazy.
Lead her to a room by herself and calmly tell her that she can come out when she’s finished screaming then shut the door.
Lol I know this sounds kinda strange but when my daughter was doing that at that age I’d literally just stick anything I could find in her mouth… a teething toy of some sort, food, or even just my finger if I was out places away from food or toys lol I’d just touch the tip of her tongue a lil bit and she’d always stop and I think she got so tired of me doing that that she realized she needed to stop screaming all the time…
Find out why she is screaming try asking her why. If she does it when you guys are out maybe she’s over stimulated by all the noise and screaming is her way of communicating if so Try noise canceling headphones. She could do it because it’s a learned behavior and doing it because she knows she will get a reaction out of you if that’s the case ignore the behavior and it will eventually stop. The best way to get it to stop is figure out what’s causing her to do it
Ignore the bad behavior praise the good
Time out. Walk away when she’s screaming. Take her somewhere that’s her favorite and if she screams take her to the vehicle tell her if she screams she can’t go back in so she needs to use her quiet voice and repeat it.
Try to ignore when she screams and pay attention when she doesn’t
My 3yr old is the same way…nothing works I’ve tried everything I’ve read on this post and none of its made a difference…my daughter isn’t bad bad just sassy and doesn’t listen ever…spanking is the only thing we haven’t tried (and dont plan on it)and nothing seems to work…just wanted to say ur not alone and I totally understand when I see kids acting this way in public
At home “apply the board of education to the seat of understanding”!!
Have her hearing tested. Really! My daughter at 2 had so much fluid in her ears, the doctor said, she was feeling extreme pressure in her ears. The fluid was causing her hearing to be at 40%. Tubes helped and she was fine.
My daughter is the same and she’s 5 now and getting looked at for adhd but she drives me nuts and doesn’t listen when im quiet I have to shout for her to even listen to me it’s so stressful and most of the time I have no sleep and a sore head hope ur ok some people are so judgemental I also have other daughters and we live in a flat so it’s hard to discipline as the other girls are amazingly good behaved
Spanking works but never do it in anger.
Ask the doctors to check her hearing. Maybe it’s why she can’t hear you when you talk quiet and why she shouts when she talks
Perhaps she has autism. Get her checked out.
If my mother ever spanked my kids I’d be spanking her.
she screams so you tell back… you’re teaching her that’s how to act. screech for attention.
Please talk to your pediatrician about her possibly being on the autism spectrum. My daughter went through the same things when her daughter was 2. My poor granddaughter was miserable and so was my daughter. If that is the diagnosis there is a ton of free help and guidance through your state Infants and Children’s dept💕
When she starts screaming maybe you should make as if you are crying and cry loud may she would be surprised and think what’s going on now give it a try