My daughter has been emotional at bed time: Advice?

Hi everyone! I could really use some insight on what’s been going on in my home lately. My daughter, Zola, is five (i have an eighteen-month-old too). A month ago, my daughter started getting really emotional around bedtime. She didn’t want to sleep in her bed. She didn’t want my husband or me to leave the room. At first, I tried comforting her as much as I could, but it didn’t seem to do much help. So after a few weeks of her crying for us, we moved her into our room. She’s cosleeping with us. She seems to be doing better. But during those weeks where she seemed anxious and emotional, I was worried! I’m still worried. I don’t know what happened to make her so sad to be sleeping in her room. All she says is that she misses mommy and daddy and wants to be close to us again. Sometimes i feel like I’m overthinking it. I’ve had a few friends tell me she’s going through something and she needs us. But i guess I can’t help but worry it’s something more, or I’m not doing enough for her. I was so adamant about having her stay in her room because I feared this would be some sort of regression to have her sleep with us again, so I worry about that. Y’All, motherhood is so hard! Thank you


Contact crisis intervention

I gave my daughter one of the tshirts I wore when she started the same thing. She could smell me as she fell asleep

It could have been a bad dream.

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She may need medication

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Just talk with your child listen n understand her… u will find out the cause if it’s serious… hopefully it’s some minor cause… there are many reasons to b worried about…

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But if it gets worse definitely talk with your dr

Did she start school this year? Our 6 year old has been trying to co sleep because as she says “i miss you all day whenI’m at school i need you”


How I helped anxiety from being in her room was to put baby in crib with her. The extra noise and life helped chase booger’s away. Just listen

You have another kid that might be the problem. She is realizing that you have to split your time and this is her way of getting it back


Maybe she feels jealous about your other kid . You know new babies get a lot of attention and older kids feel left out even if you treat them equally … sensitive kids don’t see it fair .


I think she feels alone thats why
Maybe because of the baby

Many children.seem to go through.this could it be night terrors? Have you tried leaving.her door a jar turn the hall light.on until.shes a sleep.sittingndown a talking to her about why she doesnt.want to sleep in her.own room because sleeping in your room cant go.on forever if all else fails speak to your pediatrician good luck

My daughter did that and she was having nightmares.

It may be that she’s missing having her mommy and daddy all to herself. I would try setting some special time aside just for her and Mom and dad. Make that time all about her and what she wants to do. Try this first before you run to put her on medications.


Let her sleep with the 18 month old. They will comfort each other.

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The fear of separation is a reality in their little minds ,they have real fear for various reasons ,and yes she is adjusting to the 18 month as well ,if you need to let her co sleep then do so ,atleast then you as parents and herself get some good sleep ,and a more happy family ,I feel there is to much pressure on modern day parenting for wanting a perfect child to adjust to different situations , emotional

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Make her room fun again she is feeling left out make a special date with u daddy n just her it will make a big difference I know she is five but she understands more than u think if u n daddy sit down n talk to her she will understand then u n daddy help her give her room a little makeover


In some societies such as in Thailand, families co-sleep a lot. She likely gets a feeling of security from this. Maybe at some point she can share a room with the baby. I don’t know if you are in the position to get a small pet, such as a dog or cat or bird for her to bond with. She may just feel lonely. This may be an odd idea…is it possible she is somewhat psychic and is picking up on energy in that room that was left there by a previous occupant? Airing out the room, then smudging is with sage smoke may help change the energy. Do you know what I mean by smudging?

Rub some lavender oil on her for her anxiety and try a night light

I agree that she might be jealous of her little brother/sister, and she’s trying to have that one on one time with you guys. Also, kids around this age learn how to manipulate a little bit. She might have figured out if she cries at bedtime, then she gets to sleep with mommy and daddy. My daughter was 5 when I had my youngest son. I had her other brother right before she turned 2. He didn’t have so much of an impact, because she was so young. But when my youngest was born, she started to do this exact same thing. I never actually let her come into our bed, but would lay with her for a little while. She would try one tactic for a few days, then try to change it up to see if something else would work.

I realized she might be feeling jealous, so I started to spend one on one time with her as much as I could. Its not easy when you have a baby, but I would do crafts, or play a game with just her when my younger ones would take naps, instead of doing laundry or cleaning up around the house. I would also ask one of mine, or my husband’s parents to come and watch the other 2 every now and then, so I could take her to do something special, just the two of us. After we made it a priority to spend alone time with her, things started to get back to normal. It took a little bit of time, but we got through it.

Being a mom to little kids is tough. We have so much on our plates, and not enough hours in the day. Sometimes we lose sight. We are so concerned with trying to run a household, on top of taking care of a baby and toddlers. We want to make sure everything gets done for the day. Sometimes we need to forget about the laundry getting done and put away, and take the time to give our kids that one on one time that they need.

I hope that you are able to get your bed back to yourselves, and your daughter gets comfortable enough to sleep in her own bed. It really is important for everyone to get a good night’s sleep. We all know sleeping with kids is not easy.

Maybe you have spirits in your house that are bothering her!!

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Maybe she is acting out a bit because of newer baby . ?

I suggest you pray alot for her n ask the pastor to bless the house n room again


In part it could be having to share you with the baby. How much of your time did she lose? So many parents want there child to sleep alone in their own bed, but then two adults are sharing a bed and have each other for comfort. It sends mixed signals. When she’s a teenager she’ll be glad for her own space, but for now she wants and needs you. It doesn’t last, so make it something you enjoy not complain about.


It may be that she had some bad dreams that made her afraid to be in her room alone. If you have a night light that you could leave on for her and some soft lullaby music that may help. She may also be having some anxiety that she’s being left alone when you’re spending time with the baby. It would probably be a good idea to have her help you with as much as she is able with the new little one and that will bring them a lot closer and she won’t feel so anxious about being left out. They just don’t understand how you can love them so much and then all the sudden bring somebody else into the house. I guess the only way to look at it as if your husband brought a new wife home to live with you. And he spent most of his time with her but told you he still loves you just the same. I don’t think you would like that too much. I know that sounds silly but that is the way that kids feel sometimes. Not all kids but some kids especially if they’re very sensitive. Maybe even some story books at night time especially if you can find ones that are about a big sister.

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Night terrors ask health care shop for somthing natural for her

She’s at the age where her world is getting larger and kids often need the touchstone of their parents and of what they’re used to in order to have the courage to move into the larger world - it’s fine about co-sleeping, it’s safe and natural and part of helping this individual child reach for her stars while feeling safe to do so because she knows you’re there for her. Having a sibling that’s just becoming a real person and not an extension of the parent is another source for some kids of that uncertainty. Kudos to you for recognizing that she’s got a need and for doing what you can to meet that need. What she needs is reassurance in action as well as word that she’s safe to continue maturing and growing, and that her place of safety is always available to her.

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Read a book to her nightly just the 2 of u if possible. Set aside time for a tea party with u and her stuffed animal friends…she seems like she misses the 1 on 1 time. A cool small tent area with string lights in her room with books and pillows for a cozy corner for her.

She just told you what she is currently experiencing! She is feeling left out! So it is ur duty to replace that thought with a positive experience. It is just normal developmental stage. If you show healthy support, she may more than likely overcome that emotion. Give her attention and include her in family activities. GoodLuck

Ask her if shes having nightmares

it’s more than likely she was just having some nightmares and just wanted to be closer to Mommy and Daddy no big deal just put her back in her room after she’s fallin asleep in your room and then after a couple days start having her go to bed in her room just keep comforting her and she’ll be okay.

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She probably going thru a little jealousy stage since attention is not only on her anymore…love her and maybe a little time with just her will help. I have a 2 and a half year old and a 8 month old and my 2 year old is going thru the same thing. I feel guilty at times because his baby time got cut short and I try to give him a lot of attention and love

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My 5yo boy does this.
He goes through phases…
It’s like his little moment… When the world slows down and it’s quiet… and it’s just me & him… cuddle time… He opens up and bares his soul. He gets everything of his chest and I think it’s very refreshing for him. Hope your little miss is okay :purple_heart:

I have a four year old. Last couple of months she has routinely woken multiple times a night and if she don’t wake I can hear her whimpering in her bed asleep. I believe she is having nightmares and has a hard time when she wakes. I’m also pretty certain she slept walk a couple weeks ago, it was the oddest thing.

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She could be developing anxiety. I started having issues between 5 and 7, and they lasted until like… 11. Then I wanted nothing to do with my parents. lol
My daughter never had that problem. Also, my parents didn’t change the sleeping arrangements over it.

When i put my 5 year old daughter I tell her i will come back to lay down with her after her baby brother falls asleep. She is tired she falls asleep pretty quick but saying night night and closing the door had been tough and emotional and reassuring her that mommy will come back has heen helping miracle for us. We made a little hand sign so we can sign to each other, sort of in secret way just for two or us (meaning i will come back) that means the world to her. She gets so happy.
I do come back to check on her, whisper i love you into her ears and kisses and stuff. Sometimes she remembers!

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Enjoy it.Soon she will be a teen with no time 4 y’all!

Red dye can cause nightmares. Think if there’s anything she’s eating/drinking/medicine that has it in it. Red Tylenol in particular does it to mine.

Its. Probably because of the baby getting your attention at night and she wants that back being the only child.

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Maybe she needs more one on one time during the day with each of you and is reaching out in this way to try and get that

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It could be nightmares. I have a 6 yo daughter. She tells me every now and then that she wants to sleep with me and I tell her no and she has to sleep in her own room. It creates their own independence. She knows when to come to me for an emergency. My daughter listens to music at night, has a bookcase full of books to choose from, and her toys. No electronics allowed in the room.

Where is the 18 mo old sleeping? Maybe she feels left out.

pray for her and u go n slp in her bed show her it’s safe n tell her u are so proud of her she is a big girl now

Honestly seems she is over tired… my daughter does that she’s 4… I will lay in her bed rub her back or tummy for a few minutes then walk out… you putting her in your room you just gave her control (in a sense)… she’s 5 , old enough to talk and understand so her going backwards will just get worse if you keep catering to her.

You might could try a weighted blanket! Helps with anxiety

Control and catering to her are strong words, implying a power struggle. Doesn’t sound like she’s there, but has some emotional needs right now. Could be school, baby, or something else, but I LOVE how you’re offering support by cosleeping while she deals. A little regression is normal right before she masters something new. Keep an eye on her behavior and talk about what’s bothering her to help her solve her sleeping in her room issue, and be prepared it’ll take time because she literally is learning the words to communicate the issue. Try new strategies like a change in routine, going to bed half hour earlier when not so tired/emotional, the 18 mo old sleeping in her room, etc, and talk about what helps. I think always being able to count on you to solve/help solve a problem is motherhood.

This is an age appropriate time for nightmares to start because of their very active imaginations. She may not remember the nightmares and that’s why she isnt telling you, but it’s affecting her sleep somehow. Comfort her and give her attention during the day and reinforce that she’s safe at night. Be careful about restarting cosleeping unless you’re ready for it long term. It’s a hard habit to break. Believe me, my almost 12 year old is a perfect example!

My 3YO still cosleeps. I play a mind game with myself… What advice would 50-year-old me give current me? The answer to this one is to LET THEM SLEEP WITH YOU while they are young enough to want to. One day they won’t need or want you as much, so soak up these years and hold onto them. :heart:

My 6 year old daughter still sleeps with me most nights. Even when I put her in her own bed. She’ll get up in the middle of the night and crawl on bed with me

This is very common at that age.