Hi! I am hoping for some advice. I have an 8 (9 year old to be next Sunday) year old daughter and she is very intelligent (ended 2nd grade performing at a 4th grade level), kind, sweet, caring and just an all around a loving kid. Her dad and I have gone through a divorce, we are very civil, we talk all the time about the kids. Drop offs and picks ups and sporting events are nothing short of smiles and laughter. (This is mentioned because our divorce was very mutual and we co parent very well. We realize the kids well being and happiness is ALL that matters). My daughter just entered 3rd grade, full time with me (mom), and lives with me, her 13 year old brother and mine and my boyfriends 20 month old. My 13 year old and her don’t get along as I wished, but the age gap def makes a difference. They bicker non stop. Main story is- my 8 year old came out that she is interested in being a furry. We all (my boyfriend and her dad) shut it down quick, and now she is talking about Therian. She says she knows she is human but she in intrigued by this life style. Could this be rebelling from past trauma (divorce)? Could this be a phase? I don’t agree with it, but as a mom I just want her happy. How do I cope and deal with this? How do I support but make it be known she is human, not animal? Any insight is truly appreciated. Preferably from parents who have been in this situation.
Maybe let her do it around family. Explain it is ok to try new things but it would not be something you would allow her to school or church etc. I’m sure it is a phase.
It’s almost Halloween. Tell her you’ll allow her to dress like her favorite animal until Halloween is over with. It will give her a chance to try out her fantasy, and you a definite end date. Just make sure she knows there will be no further discussion afterward.
My daughter loves this vibe and I let her love it. She dresses as her animals as she chooses and I support that. She is herself and is very aware. It’s all just fun for her. No harm at all.
Just a phase. Kids explore certain things or follow what is cool at their age. If you have uncertainties about it, just talk to them like normal children and individuals. Either they’ll grow out of it or they won’t. The main thing is the parents just support their exploration as they grow up. Find as soon as you start forcing kids to do certain things and having expectations of them they will rebel.
With all things such as furries, there is a dark side. Look into it…make sure her decision behind it is innocent.
It’s a phase. I work with kids, and see this often. It’s the “in” thing so they do it. Just let her and she’ll get over it later on.
Honestly chances are she’s just going through a phase. Let her go through it. When she is older she will look back and most likely cringe at herself. I know forsure that I do lol
If she wants to be an animal I suggest therapy. If she wants to dress up then let her she will grow out of it.
I would tell her she could be one for Halloween but then it’s back to reality.
I’m curious, at almost 9 years old how does she even know that these alternative life styles even exist. I would be taking a look at what she is watching or engaging in on the Internet.
My daughter wears cat ear headbands and mittens with cat paws on them…it makes her feel cute if you make a big deal out of stuff kids usually want to do it even more.
There are worse things in life then your child having a imagination or a different way of expressing themselves then you think is the “correct” way
We got the tail wagging the dog!
Ask her questions? Does she actually want to be a animal or dress like one? Maybe it’s just a fashion phase that will pass. In the 90’s and 00’s it was the emo thing. I understand it’s different but you really need to understand how far she wants to take it. If it’s just dressing up occasionally then let her. It is just her expressing herself. If it is more make some rules, seek out a good counselor and decide what’s best for both of you.
I have no clue what a furry or a therian i but my daughter at the age of 9 told me she was Bi and I accepted it she was so excited and happy and now she is as straight as can be at 14 Just make her more aware then ever that you love her now she knows how accepting I am of her and Love her she tells me everything
Tell her it’s okay to play fantasy games with friends or online or her spare time but that it’s just a game and make believe.
At the most I would say that she may be trying to disassociate but honestly if it were a big psychological problem it would just happen without her control.
I think it’s probably just an escape for her from regular teen life- she’s in between a child who plays make believe and a teen. To me it sounds normal. Encourage her to use HER unique skills with it- like drawing or gaming or writing stories of this character she perceives she’d like to be and the adventures she goes on. Who knows? She could be the next big teen author.
Mine went through that stage around that age. She’s 13 now and it’s in the past.
Kids have big imaginations. It’s ok to let them explore this and enjoy childhood as long as it’s done in a healthy way.
Don’t allow her to make irreversible changes to her body.
Behavior, choices, interests and the accessories will change as she grows and changes. Even adults continue to loose interest and pick new interests throughout life. This is normal and ok as long as permanent, irreversible changes aren’t made.
She’s 8. She’ll want to be many different things as she grows up.
I can’t help but think this is hilarious
I’m guessing she’s just curious—-since it’s so prevalent on tv and new… or she heard from somewhere and it seemed intriguing. I would shut it down and discuss it as not being “a cool thing.” I think it would eventuality pass. My guess she hardly knows what it is.
My daughter wanted to be a dog… got inside a kennel and slept, wanted to eat out of a bowl on the floor… we played along for a short time and then it got old for her.
Wow!!! Tell her she can be whatever she wants when she gets older as of now she is your child and will behave as a child not an animal or whatever else they come up with these days
Watch Monster high, zombies, Wednesday, my little pony - high school episodes…
It is a normal thing for a child to express wanting something different then what they have.
My 6 yr old wants to be a wolf from monster high.
Just talk with her and find out how far into it she is.
I dare say it’s not that serious - it’s dress up and a step out of reality for her.
My generation it was superheroes like captain planet and sailor moon… we all wanted to be. My brother at 6 was never out of his batman costume… like ever!!!
Just talk with her… let her imagination grow.
Let the kid have an imagination, lossen up and play along. Before you know it, that stage of life will be gone. If she wants to pretend to be an animal. Let her, set some rules like in the house only. No socal media. Ext.
Tell her God made animals and humans and she is a human. God knew what she should be.
She’s definitely rebelling, she doesn’t understand or know or comprehend co-parenting as a sign of love for her. She’s testing you to see if you love her and would support through something (furry) no matter how ridiculous and you describing how fast you shut it down you failed. While it definitely is a phase she will only remember who was supportive and who wasn’t.
My kids think it’s just someone in an animal costume? Does she play roblox? Thats where my kids learned it from there
You could be a Mom and say you may be whatever you want for Halloween. But you are a human child. Pretend is healthy in children. It is our responsibility as parents to keep them grounded.
Whats the difference between wanting to be a furry for Halloween versus another type of character like from star wars batman spider man ect…or even Clifford the big red dog:laughing:
This is my 8yo: when we die and they dig us up, they don’t think how did I identify, they say that thus is male age whatever I have died.
It depends. Does she think she is a cat or just want to wear cat ears for fun?
May I ask what their understanding of being a furry is??
Is that for Halloween? I don’t get it? Maybe she is talking about what to be for Halloween
I wouldn’t worry all kids from that age on will go through stages of identifying as something out of the box of social normality
Encourage her to have these stages and let her pass through it in her own way And time
Probably just want to look like one, not be like one. Let it go. It will fade. Make a big deal, it may be a big deal.
She’ll grow out of it, it’s part of a child’s imagination. Let her be her, after a couple weeks she lose interest and will want to be a pokemon catcher. My 5 yr old was cat for the longest time now she’s a princess. My 7 year old wanted to be a piece of cheese for the longest time now he wants to be a ninja.
It’s quite a roller coaster. So let her do her she’s get out of it when she finds out there are more interesting things.
Ashley Sylvester read this
My 9 year old loves her tail and ears. They’re kids. They don’t see it the way we do
Kids always wanna be a animal at one point or another lol my kid thought he was half cat around 8 lol buy a costume but I wouldn’t make it a lifestyle thing it’s not that deep
It’s a fad… tell her now that following the crowd isn’t always what’s best for her. Use this as a learning moment for her.
My eight year old also loves the furrys and wants one of the outfits. She’s innocent and has no idea what it means, just wants a super awesome mascot costume to play in. my husband is SO against it and I get that, he doesn’t want her to be " weird" but she’s a child wanting to play dress up… I guess I see it more innocently then he does. Lol
Have a discussion with her with dad so she see you are both on same team for this!
Just say no. It’s easy. I wanted to be a unicorn when I was 8 but only in today’s world would we as enablers try and make that a reality.
No therapy. Tell her no to being a furry. It really does, and should, end there.
She’s young still not sure she understands that whole concept. Why don’t you start small, doesn’t hurt getting her headband with ears for her to wear. Do some research for your peace of mind but talk to her. Have a real conversation with her about why she wants to do it. Don’t shut her down and make her feel like something wrong with her wanting to do it. Get all facts first
She’s learning about who she is and trusting to tell you about her interest. The amount of parents here who say no absolutely not is so disheartening. Kids go through phases to learn who they are!
I think therapy would help the both of you. For her, and for you as a parent to help you understand what she is going through. Outright “no” might cause more issues in the future. Just a thought.
Let her know when she grows up if that’s still something she wants then it could be possible. Just not right now. My 9yr old has said the same a few different times over the last few months. You don’t have to feed into it but you also shouldn’t try to shut her down. Remember she is human and has feelings that can be crushed and turn her into something mean instead… in the meantime get the kid a tail and ears from the costume store. Shit
OMG this kills me, talk to the child find out why, what started this what is the reason for you to want to hide behind a mask/tail/ears? Do you feel as if you can’t be yourself? Are you hiding something? Are you trying to tell me something? Why why why. Therapy might help if you don’t have that connection with your child but for her to come to you and tell you this, she seems comfortable. Just talk to her
I mean if she’s using terms like therian I think it would be okay to give her a little leeway to explore her interest. Shutting her down could cause her to wanna dive deeper and eventually be stuck feeling like she wants something she only wants cause she isn’t allowed to explore it. You’re the parent so set boundaries but still show that she can make her own decisions. At 9 almost everything is a phase or a new found interest they wanna explore. This is a new generation they have way more open thinking around them than when you were a child.
Y’all are so quick to tell your children how YOU want them to feel and how YOU want them to express themselves! Let them be. It’s probably just a faze and if it’s not oh well. You’ll adjust.
I’m the type of parent that wouldn’t agree at all. If you want to be a furry your going to sleep outside and eat animal food.
She’ll learn quickly that’s not what she wants.
Simple. Tell her she is human and always will be. The question is absurd. Society is sick and has failed a person who thinks they can be a furry.
Being a furry is the same thing as being involved in comic con or anime conventions, it’s just appreciation of a specific type of art style.
It’s just cosplay,
This is me in my orginal character.
What is this world coming to?
I mean…she wants to dress up in costumes. Cool. So do most kids and some adults. Kids want to act like animals too. It’s intriguing and fun. Maybe get her into drama and she can do plays. If she’s having issues related to the divorce, therapy wouldn’t be a bad idea.
If she’s doing inappropriate things, correct her behavior. If she wants to use the litter box as a bathroom, tell her that’s something we don’t do.
Also, kids are spending waaaaay too much time online and viewing really dumb things online. Monitor what she’s viewing and cut screen time down. Hopefully her father will be on the same page as you (mine isn’t) so they view things that really are affecting them.
The one thing I can say is that I don’t even know what that means- nor do my kids. I don’t allow my kids on you tube at all, no tic toc- no social media. My oldest is 9 and 4th grade. She doesn’t have a phone- she’s a kid. IPad is only brought on airplanes to watch shows. At home- they play, go to dance 6 days a week, play with toys, neighbors, relax and watch TV etc. They don’t have access to social media, tic toc, anything like that. We don’t let them on our phone to play games etc. My kids have zero idea what being a furry means- neither do I. You have to ask yourself where did my child learn about this? And my advice would be to remove their ability to be exposed to delusional things like this. They’re impressionable. Everything they’re seeing on tic toc and social media influences them. And as you can see- it can be harmful. It can make them question their identity as a human being… so ask yourself how much you’re willing to pay and give up of your children’s life and growth and personality and behavior and ideas about life- in exchange for them having access to social media tic tok etc etc etc? The harm is far greater than the good as you can see- your human child is questioning or wanting to be smthng else. People need to wake up about what is happening to their children. The exposure is completely not ok.
So first, kids express themselves differently. It has nothing to do with your divorce so don’t be hung up on that. Second, furries are not people who think they’re animals??
The exact definition is: an enthusiast for animal characters with human characteristics, in particular a person who dresses up in costume as such a character or uses one as an avatar online.
They mostly do a lot of cosplay and a special interest of theirs is humanoid animals (typically like in anime or something since that’s a popular outlet that has them). There’s nothing wrong with letting her explore interests, you just need to let her know that there are limits to everything so just don’t take it too far (like trying to talk as an animal or something). But keep in mind, regardless of how “smart” she is, she’s still a child. Let her play and learn about things she’s interested in.
Set her down and have an open talk with her. Explain to her your feelings about the matter and let her explain her’s. In some situations, children can understand and relate to what you are saying. Just talk with her.
To me, that is ridiculous. I wouldn’t allow that at all! Ever.
So being a furry isn’t inherently sexual. There are a lot of people who like to put a lot of effort into their costumes and then go to comic con and stuff like that! At 8 I can almost guarantee she probably heard about/saw one of those costumes and liked it. They are actually really freaking cool. But. I’d have a huge talk with her about internet predators and how dangerous the Internet is and can be for everyone. I know people who are normal everyday adults who genuinely love the costumes they make and do not take part in the sexual aspects that people have made over the years.
Wow! Things are so different now from when I was a child. You learned to eat what was put on the table. We were spanked if we misbehaved. You were taught if you wanted something you had to work for it. Not everyone got a trophy. Children didn’t run the household. The parents did.lol had we approached our parents about wanting to be a furry, they’d put us outside to sleep and eat out there!
Never heard of this and think it’s crazy! Just sayin.
You need to keep this kid off tiktok (or whatever social media she’s been taught what these lifestyles are, but I’m gonna assume tiktok.) The internet is meant for adults, or teenagers at LEAST, not 8yr olds. Honestly this is ridiculous. Pay attention to what your kids are watching.
Wow! These comments are crazy… many of you seem like you have children that don’t trust you or you’re on the road to it …
Your daughter is comfortable enough to tell you what she’s thinking and how she’s feeling, don’t jeopardize that now. Just because she wants to act as a cat doesn’t mean she will develop into a furry … even if she did, it’s not a sex thing, definitely a cosplay, form of expression… I would say let her dress up at home and wear ears and a clip on tail. Don’t deny her of pleasures of her own because you think it’s weird. May just be a phase, let it ride out and see where she is after. I would also monitor her internet use and make sure she isn’t seeing anything related that isn’t age appropriate. Good luck mamas!
I would place her in therapy to discuss what is triggering her to want that lifestyle. It’s definitely a teachable moment and as a parent you will have to step in…. And offer direction. Sending prayers…. Hopefully that stage/phase is over quickly for her.
Tell her animals belong outside. You can also start offering pet food since that’s what they eat. This might help bring her back to reality.
We go all out!! Mine is about the same age and going through this faze. And its fun, she has even started making and selling her own masks on Etsy. Its been fun.
She’s eight years old. Her identifying as a furry is coming from the influence from others either through the internet media or individuals close to her. Limit her access to both and expand her interest to nature, sports and literature.
So your young daughter is playing dress ups.
This is perfectly natural & actually encouraged.
It’s probably just a phase. Let her wear a mask or whatever around the house and get it out of her system. Tell her she can only wear it and act like that at home cuz it’s her safe space but that she can’t leave the house like that
OK the fact I’ve seen multiple people here who have commented not knowing what a furry is it’s not about acting like an animal is about creativity. There’s nothing wrong with your kid . Yeah maybe she saw YouTube and thought oh that’s cool . Let her be a kid.
Yes I have some advice, it sounds like your a normal mom and don’t agree with this kind of absurdity , so please get her some therapy, and in the meantime you need to tell her that this is not a normal way of life, that these new “ behaviors” that some of our unfortunate leaders are encouraging our children to express , are NOT socially acceptable in our once normal world! Best of luck!
Do the research with her, but definitely make it known any life altering decisions will be halted till they are adults.
Absolutely not. Maybe at Halloween, but that’s just an excuse for kids to do what they want and run rampant! My daughter had “furries” at her school and they were harassing her and growling at her and blocking her path. I told her if she ever felt threatened to do what she needed to do to feel safe or defend herself because what’s not going to happen is a “protected group” taking advantage of this and make my child feel uncomfortable period.
What’s the difference between wanting to dress up as a furry animal and wanting to dress up as a princess??? They’re both methods of playing pretend and acting like something you’re not.
I raised a daughter who went through many phases, Emo, Hot Topic era… etc . She was a good kid, but I still had limitations. I am not sure I would let my daughter that young be a furry . Maybe cat ears from Clair’s , but not the whole furry thing .
My almost 13 year old wanted to be a furry once too but not anymore
I remember when my daughter( who is now 13) came to us at 8 saying she liked girls. We told her that was okay but dating rules apply the same( meaning she wasn’t dating for along time) then at 9 she was huge into anime( that lasted a few years) and at some point around 10 or 11 she brought up being trans. We told her we loved her no matter what, that she was young and we as parents didn’t see it. Mind you, we are a lesbian couple, so we are well educated in LGBTQ. She’s now 13, girly and completely straight. My point is, love and educate. You don’t always have to agree. If it’s a phase, embrace and ride it out. They will discover who they are on their own time. It’s not our job to tell them who they are. It’s our job to love them and be there.
i’m that mum that would tell her to go and play dogs with her friends at school …
i actually would laugh . i know it’s not supportive and all. but seriously , ignore it she’s 9, my 9 year old thinks she is a school teacher she loves it daily doesn’t mean i’m starting her at uni so i don’t compress her wants…
your kids 9 stop making a mountain out of a mole hill
please keep in mind that the furry “community” isn’t just innocent dressing up as an animal. It’s very degenerate and sexual. What you should be more worried about it where your child is learning about it at and restrict access to internet
In today’s day in age, please research and discuss with your child the truths to this stuff or they will learn from people who don’t know.
The more you know the more educated they are and the more they understand. Keep lines of communication open. Don’t be one of those moms who just say no and makes situations worse.
I know I am not young , but I what is a furry ? A stuffed animal ?
Put her up for adoption
If your daughter wanted to be a boy everyone would scream how brave and courageous he is. This kind of illuminates how you can’t just wake up one day and decide to be something else. So if you’d applaud her for saying she wanted to be a boy…take her animal costume shopping because…I mean, that’s consistency.
Check to see who she is talking to online, what she’s watching, etc. Get her in therapy
Therapy asap. Before any decisions are made. I have many clients and they don’t know nothing about what it means or entails.
In my experience the “furries” get made fun of at my daughter’s school she has a friend that she is constantly defending. To the point she was suspended for sticking up for someone who needed it
A furry in 99% of the time sexual. It’s a fetish. Also the costumes aren’t cheap if she wanted to be a furry I mean 1000+ a child does not need to be something that has a community for s3x.
It’s usually a phase. It should pass. I remind my kids that certain things are being made to look trendy and “cool” and it’s really just people looking for attention. Actually wait and see because they may feel differently in time. They’re pushed to put labels on everything and “identify” when they shouldn’t be bothered with any of that right now. I’m supportive as I can be while maintaining if you feel like this still when you are older kinda thing. We don’t allow children to vote, drink, get tattoos or any of these other major decisions because they’re “too immature to make these decisions” so it’s insane to me that some people think children should make major identity and or medical decisions.
Tell her she is free to make those choices when she is 18 but until then she needs to enjoy being a young sweet little girl
Well first of all you 47 people laughing are dickbags. Secondly I commend your strength by sharing and reaching out for advice and support on how to best help your child. I can’t relate to this completely but do have trans and pan family members. I just try to support them and honor their wishes the best I can
So is she planning to potty in a litter box?
She’s a human not a furry animal. I would absolutely say no. I don’t even understand how this has become a thing. What next?
My daughter went through this phase or tried to go through it I explained what it actually was and that it’s not for children but if she wanted to do that as an adult that’s fine now she’s happy I told her about it and didn’t let her
Get ready to inform her how the tail stays on.
Is it going to harm anyone to let her go through this stage? Answer is NO , my god there are more things to worry about . My daughter went through it and she’s fine
She’s almost 9. This too shall pass.
Nope. I’m all for acceptance but that’s the line i draw. I’ll respect her decision but I won’t accept it.