My child is scared to go to school due to the shootings: advice?

My child is scared to go to school after hearing about the school shootings…we also live in a small town in texas so it hits close to home for us…how can I talk to my child and make them feel comfortable? should i reach out to a therapist? i understand why he feels the way he does i just want him to feel okay

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. https://answers.mamasuncut.com/t/my-child-is-scared-to-go-to-school-due-to-the-shootings-advice/19239

Oh mama :sob::sob::sob::sob: I have no advice…just love them and give assurance. How hard that must be, I can not imagine

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I think getting him counseling/therapy is a great idea. It can help him talk about and through his fear and worries, and also teach him coping skills for the stress and anxiety.

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Keep him out remainder of school, if only couple days left, and work with counselor through the summer.

Absolutely reach out to a therapist. If your child’s school has not made counselling freely available for students, id be hot on to them about doing so.

Does his school have a guidance counselor you can reach out to? I would do that if so. If not maybe you can talk to the principal and see if they are offering any help talking with the children in light of what has happened.

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Fact is, he’s not ok, he has a chance of being shot down like all the others that die by school shootings. I don’t think you could calm him tbh, it’s the way kids in the USA have to live and it’s sad. Id give him the rest of the school term off and enjoy his holidays.

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Absolutely reach out for therapy. These kiddos are struggling and have very real and valid fears.

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Cyber school is what I did when I had anxiety as a kid great option. Why force him to go if he’s scared

Education is taxable. If we all actually do our jobs as parents, we’d yank them out and do what’s responsible. Because the government isn’t. The Gov wants to capitalize on funding while our babies get shot down in road daylight.
Stop funding a snare trap! Teach your own children and stop putting their welfare in other’s hands!!!
My child is 25. I took him out of school when he was 12. He knows math waaay beyond me. Trigonometry! What’s!!??!!

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This is so sad to read :sob: my heart

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Tell them the truth they should be afraid bcuz the monsters are real they’re called humans and the more we educate them now on how to stay safe in dangerous situations the better they will be when they if they experience one fear is healthy I’m scared about going grocery shopping driving down the road or being in any bad situation but life happens and everyone needs to be prepared

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I wish I knew what to say to help but in all honesty I’m afraid to send mine to school myself. :sob: We are in SA Texas and it scares me so bad! I totally understand your poor babies fear. :broken_heart::blue_heart:

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Unfortunately you live in a place/country that school shootings are becoming more and more frequent. Im in Australia and couldn’t fathom the thought of sending my child to school knowing that there is a possibility of a shooting happening. Personally i would keep my child home indefinitely. I’m scared for both children and parents after seeing the heartbreaking recent shooting so I couldn’t imagine what you are all going through atm. Counselling and therapy is a great idea.

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I’d homeschool if possible. It’s not worth it imo. I feel safe in canada sending my kids but I cannot imagine the fear Americans have for their kids.

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I live in New Zealand. Our gun laws aren’t much better. To be honest I would home school if lived in America. I love your country no bad attitude from me but I would be scared to send my baby to school everyday.

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This has been our talk this entire 4 day weekend. It’s disgusting that our children are worrying themselves just as much as we’re worried. I’d LOVE to homeschool, I just don’t know how when I’m a single mother. I know TX schools let out before NY does, maybe you can keep him home for the remainder of the year?

Definitely put his feelings first schools almost out anyways so he’s probably not missing out on much maybe start by going with him but only stay for a little bit and let him lead when it’s time to go

Definitely put his feelings first schools almost out anyways so he’s probably not missing out on much maybe start by going with him but only stay for a little bit and let him lead when it’s time to go

Try home teaching yours child’s welfare comes first,

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I’d be afraid too if I was him. No amount of therapy can touch what those kids went thru. I pray everyday for comfort and peace as they go thru this tragedy. Hugssss and prayers continue

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Say a prayer each day before you go to school.

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I homeschooled my kids and did public school. Pray about it.

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To be honest I’d keep them home and home school

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Homeschool & therapy

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You can home school them ok

Move countries. Tomorrow they’ll still have their guns while some parents won’t have their children. It’s called an amendment for a reason, amend it.

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I don’t know your situation, but if you can, try to keep him home a little longer. And when he goes back, walk him in and tell him he will be ok. Make a plan in case anything does happen. Give him a crystal to hold with him for luck. Therapy is definitely a good thing too

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I homeschool but not because of fear of shootings per say. I worked in the public school system and I started seeing the path they were headed as far as curriculum 10 years ago. I understand the fear that parents and children are facing. We need to demand better security for schools for one. But you can only do what is best for your child.

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Because of the shootings that are going on parents are going to get where they want to home school thier kids. Because parents will be afraid for their kids life. And I don’t blame them. I am thankful my kids are adults. But I have grandkids. And I fear for them. Because this is happening all over. Not just in Texas.

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I’m afraid for my kids to go to school. Home school is best, the schools are not a safe place anymore. Do not lie to your child and tell them it is safe because the schools will not keep your child safe that is the truth.

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Kids should have the option to stay at home and attend school on the computer, since covid, it was designed that way, safer to have kids at home, than live in fear

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Homeschool him. Because to be honest the schools isn’t safe! But if u can’t homeschool then I guess u will have to lie and try and make him feel safe. I know that sound harsh but it’s the truth.

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Homeschool him. Because to be honest the schools isn’t safe! But if u can’t homeschool then I guess u will have to lie and try and make him feel safe. I know that sound harsh but it’s the truth. But I wouldn’t lie because if something did happen to happen at his school then he will look at you.

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I’m in Australia and I’m scared for all your children, it’s crazy that people can buy these weapons and carry in the street. Id wrap your little boy up and do whatever it takes to make him feel safe. Much love🌼

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Sadly, I wouldn’t blame kids not wanting to go to school. 27 schools this year alone in the USA, As a parent, I am of no help, I would move countries, or homeschool

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Well, as a substitute teacher who cares for kids in school it’s rough. Not going to lie, the teachers I know are there for your kids. We can’t protect everything from our kids. There’s going to be drunk drivers, people are going to get sick, there’s unfortunately going to be tragedy wherever you go. All you can do is to teach them life is sometimes unfair. Sometimes people live normally with nothing happens. Idk do what’s best for your family and situation. Don’t force your child to go, talk with your teacher and see if you can work from home. Praying :pray::heart:

Explain to him in detail without lies as children deserve to hear the truth no matter how harsh it may be always be honest with your kids as they look up to you as their example. Let him know that it’s ok to go to school and y’all have a plan in case this does happen and most of make sure he Carrie’s a cell on silent and let him know it’s only for emergency’s only so he can text you and let you know if that happens

Home school them it’s a hella lot safer . Until they finally do something about it.

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Reach out and get him into therapy. Also look into home schooling and school online.

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You can homeschool until they graduate High school. And yes get a therapist that specializes in PTSD where children are concerned.

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If possible you should home school them

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Reach out to the school. Have an active action plan all the parents get to see if they’d like to make everyone feel more at ease hopefully. Its hard for us bc everywhere we go even small towns its 50/50 if its gonna happen or not. But maybe a visual of how the school will handle things done in front of parents maybe we can throw out our advice and what we see from looking at it being done if something seems wrong to a parent they can ask or share what they saw and feel needs to stay or change. Every parent volunteers and gets paid from their jobs the day they volunteer and a way to make it verified by the school for the parents job. I understand not all parents have a job that is less demanding and may not even be able to do that but trust me sooo many are parents too if we start taking it more serious then this may continue to rise. And parents that volunteer should go through firearm training. Background checks and me.tal health checks before volunteering bc you cant trust everybody. But we need to start standing outside our schools our damn selves tbh. It sounds crazy but with our politicians theyll never agree so our children’s lives really can’t wait and are more precious than having to wait on someone else to fix it :blush:

Maybe talk to the school psychologist. Homeschool would be good but not everyone can do that and not every kid learns well that way. But the way things are these days it could happen when you go out anywhere. 

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Yes. If you want him to attend school publicly and he’s scared speak to the therapist. That’s common sense.

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Why are you questioning why he’s afraid? Someone came into a school and killed 21 people a week ago and the cops didn’t help for over an hour. Our children are just target practice, of course he’s scared. Until there’s something done about gun reform in this country, none of our children are safe.

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I homeschool for other reasons but… The actual probability of this happening is really really low. A therapist would definitely be a good start.

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They have the right to be scared and upset . I used to be like that when I was a kid and I did homeschool online 1- I felt safer 2-I could work on it at my own pace without having to worry about turning anything in 3- I got more time to spend with my parents and siblings . 4- didn’t have to worry about any state testing or quarter testing . I felt so in control of my own learning and started learning more day to day things too like taxes,health care,laundry ,cleaning ,cooking and just general stuff I needed to know .

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They have the right to be scared and upset . I used to be like that when I was a kid and I did homeschool online 1- I felt safer 2-I could work on it at my own pace without having to worry about turning anything in 3- I got more time to spend with my parents and siblings . 4- didn’t have to worry about any state testing or quarter testing . I felt so in control of my own learning and started learning more day to day things too like taxes,health care,laundry ,cleaning ,cooking and just general stuff I needed to know .

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I would seek a therapist immediately - he’s going to need therapy to feel reasonably safe again - his fear is legitimate and he needs professional help.

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Your childs school has guidance counselors who are supposed to be trained for such a dilemma. Maybe they could help or point you in the right direction…know that your child is not alone in feeling this way…im sure millions of students all over the US are afraid…one of them is my own son…Good Luck…

Definitely therapy will help.

To be honest and this may not be what you’re looking for, but the Columbine shooting happened when my Daughter was just 11 months old. I was never comfortable sending her to school because the shootings continued from that time on and more frequently as time passed. So, I decided to homeschool her, which she was fine with after learning what was happening. There are many groups that provide necessary socialization, etc. this was good for us. I hope you find answers needed to calm your child’s fears and yours as well. All the best in this scary world.

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Homeschooling…or you can do what I did, get tf outta the USA

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Is home schooling an option? I live in Canada but if I lived in the states my children would not attend public school.

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Honestly, I’m scared to send my daughter to school. I’m grateful there is only 1 more day left of this year.

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Yes seek therapist. But I wouldn’t force it until then. There must be therapists set up for this?

I personally would be contacting the school and asking them to talk to my daughter ( or all children) and reassure them. Lockdown drills are scary and they know how to do them but I feel like they don’t reiterate certain things during drills… like show them the doors are locked and too strong for a bad guy to break in, show them the schools security protocols and The staffs end of a lockdown drill and stop focusing on the “hide from the bad guy”

And honestly as a parent I wouldn’t mind the same reassurance for myself

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Homeschool your child. These people saying “it’s a really low chance” haven’t realized that there have been over 250 school shootings since Columbine happened. I took my kids out after Sandy Hook. The guy ignored the security doors and went straight for the windows that aren’t bullet proof.

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I homeschool and will continue. It’s not safe to send them. That’s just reality!

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I would get in contact with the school and see if they can’t reassure your child. I personally am homeschooling my child. That is also an option. The public school system isn’t safe enough for me to send him back to school. 

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I’m scared too. Scared and angry.

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Could virtual school or homeschooling. There are free virtual public schooling online

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Prayers :pray:and therapy

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I have no answers for you. This is terrible and their feelings are so valid. I’m thankful to live in a country that doesn’t have this issue and I hope that yours can fix this issue.

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I don’t blame him. I think I’d be scared too. I think your best bet would be to talk to the school principal. See if they can show you and your son their entire safety plan for intruders. If they don’t have one, that’s a red flag. See if there’s another school in your area. A charter school, a parochial school, or a Montessori school. See what type of protection they have. If you aren’t encouraged by any of them…, then you may need to virtual school or home school your son.

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I have no answers but I’m praying for your family! Maybe virtual school could be an option?

Look at the situation and be prepared to make a big sacrifice . I have always loved working and my child always hated when I worked, so even now he’s 13, I have to shape shift again. He’s ok with it now but come hs in 2 years, he doesn’t wish to take a bus and I don’t like them too, so I’ll have to give up working. I don’t have a husband to drive him and I don’t have a car so I’ll either work and hope my job let’s me leave to get him or compromise to have him stay in. Programs so I can work a little extra. If not then I’ll leave. When he was little I worked nights bartending to be with him more so I’m prepared to be uncomfortable againm it’s not about me. I’ve learned to live very basic with him. No cells no internet pay half of electric at a time and go to food pantries. I own a small humble business that normally does ok but suffered during covid. I’m ok with onku relying on it if it makes him happy.

Your child’s feelings are valid, sadly. I removed my child from public school after two incidents within a week at her school with ‘threats’. My child can learn everything at home, I’m not playing with people’s mental health.

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A lot of our students felt uneasy after the Oxford, MI shooting as well. Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with allowing them to miss a couple extra days, & let them stay home where they feel secure❤️ we are our children’s safe zones

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Talk to the school about it. They have counselors for this very reason

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Definitely a therapist or school counselor! Whens his last day of school? Maybe keep him home the rest of the year. Its still too new and kids are thinking about it :disappointed_relieved:

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I absolutely don’t blame him, as parents I think we all worry too. Scary world we live in :disappointed: I’d definitely get him into counseling if you can. This is how my anxiety started as a child (different reasons) now as a adult I struggle bad with it and I’m on medication.

Talk to him about what happened and discuss a plan with him as to what to do in the event of an emergency at school, to listen to the teacher, remember to stay very quiet and always know a hiding spot and way to exit any room he’s in at school. As horrible as it is, maybe if he feels a little more “prepared” it will ease SOME of his anxiety…:pleading_face:

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Do it with love​:love_letter: Ask God to help you and all the children too.:pray::pray::pray:ing for you all.

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I’d say enroll them in a county where teachers are armed. It’s the only way to feel safe right now.

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I would reach out to a therapist personally

This breaks my heart. No child should ever have to fear for his/her life.

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From :canada: I’m really sorry this is even a thing.

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talk to the school & explain this to them, They must have counselors to talk to the kids

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Just be honest. Bad things happen every day, everywhere. The media loves to shove school shootings down our throat. The chance of a child being shot and killed in a public school is extraordinarily low. He is more likely to die traveling to and from school, catching a deadly disease while in school or suffering a life-threatening injury playing sports. Which are also low probability. Contrary to what we see on tv, school shootings are extraordinarily rare, and if we live our life in fear of what could be - maybe -but highly unlikely - we will surely suffer devastating effects, not “maybe”.

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Yes please!! Patience n Prayers go a long ways too.

So much misinformation in the comments, from people’s view on guns they obviously know nothing about and couldn’t differentiate one from the next. However, to answer the question, I’d seek counseling for your child. As a mother I’d be also allow him to stay home for the last few days of this year. He’s scared and wants to be protected.

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No advice but I’m so sorry your child and other children have to have this on their minds instead of just being kids :disappointed::heartpulse:

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I have a 12 year old, small town, also Texas. We have a dad watchdog program at every school watching the doors in the mornings. While they are open. Maybe you could contact your school board and see if you can help organize one. Be proactive. Kids really shouldn’t be privy to all the information about stuff like this. Let them be kids. Maybe take the kiddo to counseling to address his fears but also don’t expound on them at home. Reassure him that what happened was very rare and let him have the next 3 months off to heal from it:

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Therapy, for sure. Our poor kids. :heart::heart::heart: I hope your baby feels safe soon.

I would think therapy maybe, the US had 288 school masses this year. I think your child anxiety is totally normal, shouldn’t have this worry but sadly you guys do.

I think a therapist may be the best bet to help them with any anxiety n stuff. Because I can’t imagine the fear. Specailly being in Texas.

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Find out what your schools protocols are. Is your sons school locked during school hours? My daughters school remains locked during school hours. They have like a ring doorbell you have to ring to get in and have to show your I.d. To the camera before getting buzzed in. They also do active shooter drills. If his school doesn’t have these things fight to get it! Your son might feel safer knowing there is precautions set in place and knows what to do if the situation ever occurred.

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You could look into a private school, I researched school shootings the other day and they aren’t happening in religious schools and I’d say presumably because they are being instilled with a sense of faith and purpose that children in public schools who also have home hardships aren’t getting from anywhere.

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I would reach out to a counselor & start being proactive with your kids. Do research, get a hold of the teacher & ask what the school policy is for an active shooter & start training your kiddo how to be safe & silent in. Add there is a situation at school, a lot of kids feel more secure & safe when they have an active role in practicing for a dangerous situation. Good luck. I know this is scary as a parent but I can only imagine how scared our babies must be in this type of world.

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Absolutely reach out to therapist

Something that traumatic probably needs therapy. If my child was expressing fear about that I would seek professional help.

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I’m sorry for your child :confused: I’m in NC and our school had extra counselors on hand for students, staff and parents.

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Yes reach out to a therapist

His school should be doing something through guidance and yes ask pediatrician to refer you all to someone.

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Make a meeting with the School counselor asap, that’s what they are there for.

Does his school teach under locked doors, where must be buzzed in through the office? Uvalde would have been safe, however my dad saw a video on the news that showed a teacher in Uvalde went to get something and propped a door open, which is against school rules, and that is how the shooter got in the school. Schools are safe when policies are followed and doors stay locked. Does the school your kid goes to have a counselor? That would be a good start with a discussion between you all. May be more comfortable with the school therapist than a stranger. If you have that option. Therapy isn’t a bad idea. Do not tell your child this, but guns are now the leading cause of death for children. All of us should be a little scared hearing this news. It brought me tears to hear that on the news today.

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