I am currently 24 weeks pregnant, and my husbands grandma keeps talking about how she wants to constantly babysit. I love her to death and I know she’d never intentionally do anything to harm our baby. This will be her first grand baby and she’s so excited because she’s never had a girl to spoil. However, she’s getting older and her age is really starting to show. She often forgets what she is talking about, and sometimes stumbles over herself— she forgets to feed herself occasionally and has even fallen a few times. It will absolutely break her heart if we don’t allow her to spend time with our baby. I just need help on how to go about all of this— I don’t want to hurt her feelings but also don’t feel safe leaving her alone. Any advice will be great help!! Thank you in advance!
I agree with all the comments about letting her “babysit” while you’re around the house doing things like outside chores or even taking your own “nap” aka scrolling through your phone/reading a magazine for some alone time. Keep a baby monitor on you so you know if she needs assistance. Bonding time for her and the baby, while you have some backup. Honestly it sounds like a dream I wish I had
Please let her love and spoil that baby. You sound very loving and understanding, so even if it’s so you can do “yard work” or deep clean the bathroom, allow her to help out. It will be a special memory for both of them.
Easy go visit her and bring the baby. I’m sure the reality of constant babysitting will be too much for her. Let her bond with the baby while you are there.
I wish I had any family member willing to watch my children.
Take each day as it comes, and wait until the child is older before you consider it, just to be safe if her age is of concern to you.
Consider yourself blessed to have people around you that truly want to be involved in the life of your little one, you never know how long Grandma will be around for, cherish her
I’m glad it’s been as much time with my great-grandmother even though it was only 14 years I got to spend with her I have a lot of memories watching shows if you’re that worried just be around when she’s with the baby don’t interfere but if you think she thought to forget or do something then interfere cuz she lives long enough to remember to remember the good times
I have a similar situation with my grandmother. She has fallen a few times and repeats herself alot. It isn’t too extreme but, I have an older child who goes with my youngest. My girls are 11 and 3 and my oldest has a cell phone. She always goes just so she can help out and keep an extra eye on her sister. It’s been like that since the 3 yr old was born. Maybe see if an older child can accompany the baby to grandma’s. I explained the reasoning to my oldest and she enjoys going to see her Nana and help with her sister.
She wouldn’t do it alone, but is be cool with hanging out with her and letting her play with the baby, etc.
But def un unsupervised or for long periods of time
Have her come over to the house so you can clean, nap, take a bath? It gives her “alone time” but you’re still “in control”
Everyone and their neighbor always offer to babysit when your pregnant. Once the baby comes out is a different story altogether lol Don’t worry about the future. Just enjoy today
Here’s a suggestion….
You want family to be just that family. She can enjoy the baby as a grandmother not a full time caregiver.
then maybe you can have her come to your house when your home and need to get a few things done.
Look at you, already have the mama instincts in high gear. Congratulations enjoy every breath
Is it possible she stays over at your house sometimes so she can feel like she is helping out with the baby but not necessarily being left alone with her
Boyfriend or husband? Grandbaby or great grandbaby? You sound confused.
Visit don’t leave her alone with the baby. Same house out of room shortly is okay.
Maybe try scheduling time to go with the baby and have a few hours to have lunch and let her visit with baby ‘since you’re still nursing so often.’
I understand your concerns as well as her excitement.
Maybe she can come to your house and be with baby while you shower, nap or do household things. That way she gets her time with baby and you can be close by if needed.
Let her watch her for a couple hours while you go grocery shopping, out to eat, or some other small task, make sure baby is fed and changed before you leave her.
Let her be around the baby with you and husband present. Explain to her that you want her to get to know the baby but since she has fallen a few times that your worried and don’t feel safe leaving the baby without you there. It may hurt her feelings some but honestly is the best policy and if anything would happen if you left the baby with her then you would be charged also.
First- congratulations on your baby!
But second, to answer your question… don’t worry about this at all!! Its not an either/or situation. Great grandma can still bond with baby without actually babysitting.
You don’t need to leave her alone with your baby to allow her to spend time with her. Go visit with great grandma and let her spend time with your baby. It’s a wonderful thing to have so many generations together! I wish I had more time with that.
My grandfather was 96 when my daughter was born and I had been “taking care” of him during my pregnancy. He “bonded” with my daughter before she was born. My grandmother (his wife of 67 years) passed away in January that year and my daughter was born a month later. We brought her to see my grandfather every Sunday and he sat with her in his arms for hours. We had her baptized in the beginning of May. Her baptism announcement in the local newspaper was on one side and my grandfather’s obituary was on the other side of the same page.
Everyone thought Grandpa was going to follow his wife within days because he was so devastated by the loss. But he was waiting to meet his great granddaughter. I am so grateful for those Sundays when we had 4 generations together and he took an incredible amount of joy during that time.
Don’t stress over this. I believe that you will see that it will work itself out. She’s excited about her great granddaughter and I am sure all she needs is time to bond- not necessarily “babysitting”. You can make her feel like she’s helping you simply by doing things like asking her to “do a favor and hold baby” so you can eat or wash dishes or something
She would probably watch the baby once & be like, okay I’m getting too old for this lol. Bc baby’s are a lot of work. Just visit with the baby often, you’re lucky to have someone who cares to be that involved. You’re probably making a bigger issue of it than it is. I don’t let anyone keep my babies (except my mom sometimes)
How you go about this is to let the woman babysit. But let her do it at your house, while you’re there. If this is the first baby, she’s excited and you’re going to be exhausted. Let her come to your house and babysit while you take a nap, take a shower, do laundry, clean, cook… whatever. That way she gets to spend time with her great grand baby and you can rest or get stuff done that is going to be hard to manage with a newborn.
Have someone babysit with her. That way that other person can make sure the baby is good and to help grandma out if need be and grandma still gets time with the baby
Go have a peaceful bath and let her play in the living room with your kid. Or if you got monitor in living room for yourself just take that outside and go for a tan so you can hear the happenings
I would ask her to come over to your place to watch the baby while you’re home as well. This way you can get stuff done around the house and can still keep an eye on the baby
Can do in short time periods but talk to her and explain the situation. She may not like it but it’s reality
It’s hard I know. But you have to do what’s best for the baby.
Please tell her…
you could really help me out if you came over and watched the baby while I get some things done around the house. That way she still feels helpful and you can keep an eye on them.
Make sure that you visit often with the baby. Make sure she is sitting when she gives cuddles.
I have some of those issues myself and i watch my grandkids all the time with no issue. I may forget to feed myself but never the kids. It would break my heart if i wasn’t allowed to do so because of those issues. I love my babies. I would at least give it a go once and see how it goes.
Don’t leave her alone with the baby
The fact she’s fell a few times HELL NO she could cause serious injuries to your baby