My boyfriend has a dog from his previous relationship and refuses to train!

Not really “mom” related more like “household” but I need advise. I’m a 22 year old mom to my 1 year old daughter and I’m 15 weeks pregnant with our second. My boyfriend works a lot, and when he’s not working he’s always out doing stuff with his buddies or it seems like anything to stay out of the house. Which isn’t the part that bothers me, because he does work hard so I can stay home so I’m thankful. But we have a dog that came from his previous relationship and the dog was never trained and it seems like every day I’m cleaning up dog poop or pee from the house. He won’t send her somewhere to be trained and I’ve tried everything. I’m at my final straw because she recently has been peeing on the couch, and the couch soaks up the smell and won’t come out. I’ve washed the covers and scrubbing the cushions with literally everything and nothing works. He doesn’t understand that I’m at my wits end, but I’m the one constantly cleaning up after his dog while taking care of our daughter and being pregnant on top of it. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Our house smells because of it and he won’t get a new couch and I’m literally on the verge of a mental breakdown because I’ve never lived in a dirty home and even though I keep it clean, it smells dirty from the dog. HELP


Just let your partner know about how you feel.

Get rid of both him & his dog!


Can you not take the dog outside? I get that you have a child but I was a single parent at that age with a dog and I made it happen. :woman_shrugging:


Take the dog out in the early morning and every so often during the day. And give her a bath.

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I’d throw the couch out the front yard!!! If neither of you will train the dog, please find it a good home. Your boyfriend needs to start taking responsibility to you and the dog!

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Is there a way to keep the dog outside? Maybe in a fenced in area?

Take the dog yourself to get trained. Or begin training the dog at home on your own. He isn’t home much anyway so he won’t get in the way of either option. If he doesn’t like it tell him the other option is getting rid of the dog.

When we first got our dog we took her outside like every 30 min. & walked with until she did her business. She got the idea and then started letting us know. Takes a bit of work but it’s worth it. She is an awesome dog and never does her thing inside.

Have you tried vinegar? Get a Spray bottle and fill it up with vinegar and spray the cushions down good. Then let them sit outside in the sun. Also use a cup or 2 of vinegar in the wash when you wash anything with pee on it. It’s very good at taking out the smell. I also use it to mop my house. I have cats and their litter can make it smell quickly. I would get puppy pads or newspaper & put them where the dog pees & poops on the floor the most. I’d also get a crate for the dog to be in to train it. Every time the dog comes out of the crate take it straight outside to potty. If you have to have a leash handy so it can’t just run as soon as the crates open to find a spot in the house to potty.

Put baking soda on any fabrics he has wee put on and time to train the boyfriend first and then the dog!!!

Leave him until he is trained to be a partner.

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Find a home for the dog you have enough on xx


Does the dog get walked? And i don’t say this in an assuming “that you don’t kinda way” absolutely no judgment, i had the same problem with my girl and i just wasn’t walking her enough, she does a pee happily in the garden but really needs a walk more than once to get her wee bowls moving, or it ends up happening in the home, i understand being a sahm with a young child and baby on the way its not going to be easy for you to keep up regular walks, i can imagine the hassle of it, does your partner take the dog a walk before work? If not that might help, it may not be down to training, just not enough walks x

Take the dog out every half hour or as close to that as you can.
Put it’s food up so it’s not eating all night long and then needing to poop. Put puppy pads down but not all over the place or that will confuse the dog. Tell your boyfriend he can help out too. That’s not fair that you are the only one dealing with this.

Firstly I’d chuck the couch, or whatever else stinks of dog. Dog needs to stay outside, otherwise you gonna have nothing to sit on. My kids healthy being, would be first priority. Can’t stand dogs in the house anyways.

Take the dog to a trainer. He won’t. You can. Take control if he can’t. Slide that debit card or cc for points at the dog training center… some require them to be there for a few weeks. I’d choose that one so you can refresh your home.

When he misbehaves threaten to put him outside and get him to sit for long periods of time to think about his actions to make sure he understands his responsibilities as a family member in your home, especially because there are children involved. He will eventually realise that if he doesn’t make the right choices he will be put out and be forced to grow up without you.

Then get the dog some training.


I’d be dropping that dog off to his previous relationship. Lol.


Make him sleep on the couch lol


Crate the dog when ur not watching her


Hmm, maybe the dog ran while he was out one night. It’s not well trained, seems like something that could easily happen even if you didn’t make an effort to prop the door open and kick it in the behind…

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Whoops the dog got out and ran away to bad so sad


I hate to say this but there’s something seriously going on if the dog is peeing on your couch. If it’s from a previous relationship I’m going to assume it’s not a puppy. Are you nice to the dog? Chances are the dog is showing dominance over you! The dog is probably also unhappy…

Train her. It’s not hard.


Tell him the dog gets trained or the dog goes… i wouldn’t have my dog do anything like that in my house. I never even put pads down in my house for this reason. That’s teaching them it’s ok to mess in the house. I from the off took my dog outside to do his business and he’s only had 2 or so accidents and he’s 3 years old now. That’s my advice x


Kennel train the dog or leave it outside as much as you can. It takes a little compassion to train a dog!!! I know that children are a full time job!!! But if you spend time outdoors with your baby take the dog with you!! It could be going to the bathroom in your house if you leave it home alone as a sign of being left abandoned. Good luck!!!

Time to crate train! Get the dog on a schedule and take it out the same door everytime you let it out to do it’s business! I can tell you that female dogs are harder to train . I had 1 female and she wouldn’t budge . I had to give her to my friend who owns a farm.

I’m a stay at home mom one of our American bulldogs is 1 and the other one is bout 8 months old, my male that is a year old the way I trained him was put the dog leash on the door so he would go to the door if he had to go potty after he got used to that he would sit and stare at me or nose my hand to let me know he has to go out, my girl she was pretty easy she pretty much followed my male and learned to potty outside not in my house. It is hard but if u constantly do it the dog would learn. Or if u have a lead put it on the dog and let it go out.

You put the dogs nose in or close to her pee or poo next time, look her directly in the eyes and give her a firm “no! Bad girl!” And toss her outside. Tied up if you gotta. Dogs aren’t dumb, she’ll learn. Might take a bit now that’s she’s formed a habit but worth a shot

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I had a dog like this too. I tied bells to the door and the dog would hit the bells to go outside. Once up she actually would do it and when she did I would let her out. Once she gets that down then you can call a professional to steam clean the couch

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I’d def rehome. Sounds like he’s being neglectful and also expecting you to do all the work with the dog and that’s not going to change when the baby comes - off not make is worse because will he help with the baby when he’s not even helping with his own dog?

They both can go :sweat_smile:


Let the dog out
If it doesn’t go, let in and IMMEDIATELY back out until it does
Repeat as necessary

Maybe this dog is acting out behaviorally d/t his owner, your boyfriend, always being gone.

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Owning a dog is a family project. You have to have buy in. You can’t just send a dog to get potty trained. Trying looking up videos and blogs to guide you on how to train the dog. Also I am totally for crate training - check it out it makes it better for everyone. My dogs love their crates it is their safe space and I know where they are when we are not home


So you train the dog. Easy, done.

See I used to leave mine outside . bring in every half hour.
For 10 minutes.than outside
For 2 weeks potty training

  1. His behavior says everything you need to know about your relationship - LEAVE.

  2. The dog goes. If he’s unwilling to take care of basic things like ACTUALLY training his dog then he doesn’t need it. Say nothing, find another home for it.

The dog deserves better, and so do you.


I say crate train the dog it really does help. But also he needs to step up. Doesn’t matter if he works so you can stay home, it’s not fair for you and only you to have to take care of everything else because that in itself is a full time job. It’s he not an easy person to talk to? This would not be ok for me

I’m not one for rehoming pets but when they start peeing on my couch or beds it’s time to go especially sense it’s your boyfriends dog and he refuses to train or do anything with it bc he’s to busy running around like a child. He has a family time to grow up. In this case your taking most care of the dog so find it a new home if your bf has something to say tell him he’s welcomed to move with the dog🤷‍♀️


If your home most the day it doesn’t matter who’s dog it is your the only one with the time to train it.

Maybe get rid of it if your not willing to and neither is he


Vinegar will take the smell out and prevent the dog from going in the same place. Rent the machine to shampoo the carpet and couch. Do some research on training or make an appt to take him to a trainer… and then tell your bf this is what we’re doing. If he still refuses, put his clothes or pillow where the dog frequents.
You have to stay consistent, so will he. Get a bell for the back door, this will allow the dog to signal it has to go out and alert you. When it goes in the house, put it in a time out in the crate. Start following him outside, when he goes praise him and give a treat. As he’s starting to get it, give him a treat when he comes inside from going potty. They’re just like kids! I wouldn’t suggest pee pads bc it’s still going inside the house and accidents will always be on carpet. If it’s a small dog though and it just won’t get it, you may have to consider it.

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Crate the dog during the day until boyfriend chooses to be responsible. You can let the dog out in intervals to train it. Sounds like two choices, you train the dog and own the responsibility or get rid of the dog.

Accidentally let him run away or take him to a shelter a town over🤷🏻‍♀️

Can’t you take it to be trained while he is at work?

Get rid of him and his dog you don’t need it certainly not with baby and having another he has no respect for you

It amazes me that people won’t take care of a animal just because “it’s not theirs”.

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I inherited 3 untrained dogs…they’re 13 years old and use wee wee pads. Accidents are frequent. They sleep in the laundry room all night and the odor in there can’t be removed … Tell your man to get a trainer for the dog now while it’s still young and trainable or re-home the pup to someone experienced in teaching it . I’m stuck with this mess…you can escape. Lol

It sounds as if the training is going to be in your hands. I’ve had three dogs and they trained really easily. Some dogs are like that. My sister had 2 dogs that also trained easily and then she got this third one….it was difficult. She started by putting the dog out every 15 minutes. If the dog went to the bathroom outside she gave it a treat with lots of verbal praise. After a week she extended it to every 20 minutes. It took about a month and her dog was asking to go outside. Dogs usually respond really well to treats and tons of praise.

You don’t mention how old the dog is or what kind of dog it is. That often could be part of the problem.

If the dog has been trained to use P pads, get rid of those things fast! A dog who uses pee pads is trained to think that it’s okay to relieve themselves in the house!


Mmm yeah no. I LOVE dogs but I’m also not a dogsitter to someone else’s untrained problem dog. Serious sit down needs to happen. Calmly. But serious.


Train the dog yourself and take her outside every hour to potty. Also get a crate and crate her at bed time and when she potty’s in the house.

Hon, it is NOT ok that he avoids being at home and leaves you with ALL the responsibility of your child together and HIS dog. Working hard is not a pass to neglect child raising duties. If you have a kid together, you take care of it together. What he is doing to you is not fair or ok at all.

As for the dog pee smell, take off everything that comes off and wash it with ammonia and detergent. Let it soak a while first. It gets urine smell out completely.

For everything that can’t go in the wash, get some Kids and Pets from Walmart, and saturate the heck out of it. Make sure it’s enough to stay damp for at least 3 hours. It’s an enzyme cleaner and will basically eat the odors. I don’t even have indoor pets and I still keep a bottle on hand at all times. It gets rid of all bio-odors, and will even get rid of sweat stains and deodorant residue if you leave it on long enough.

Doesn’t seem like anyone has time for this dog. Its not fair to you or the dog, find him a good home. Maybe when your kids get older it will work with another dog. Or get rid of boyfriend.


The dog isn’t the issue. Your problem is him and it’s not going to get any better.


You have a few options here. Get a leash to put the dog on for a little while if u can’t stand out there with him but one problem I’s he may use the bathroom while out there but always either let him run for a few mins before u go in or walk him around on a leash which ever one u prefer. Get a kennel that big enough for him amd crate train him. I have had a dog that had 11 puppies and I was a stay at home mom to 3 kids and was able to have them all nearly pottyed/ crate trained before they went to their forever homes it does take time and patience. I have always made my dogs go out every time I have seen them get real antsy always make sure when they go out it uses the restroom if he won’t get off the porch walk out in the yard with it. Also tell bf hey man this is your dog I don’t mind helping with it but somethings got to give either help with it or get rid of it to somebody that can. Also when he pees or poos in the house stick his nose in it tell him a firm No smack him in the nose or get u a news paper and pop his high-end when u tell him no. Training dogs can be easier then some but it does take time and patience and some team work. Good luck


Dogs are a family effort. If he doesn’t want to take the time to train it, why does he even have it? Also, house breaking is the first thing you work on when you get a dog. If the dog wasn’t house broken before his previous relationship ended, than they either didn’t take the time to train it, or the dog has a medical issue. Either way, they failed that dog in some way. Especially if there is an underlying medical issue. It’s not too late to work on this issue.Take them out often and give treats when they do their business. It’s going to take many trips out and tons of treats. When you take them out, always use the same door. They’ll eventually go to that door to indicate that they need to go. Get the dog a crate for when you’re not home, and for overnights. I’ve trained all 4 of my dogs the same way and they’ve all caught on within a month. If you’ve got a fenced in yard, even better. You can let them out for longer stretches of time (depending on weather of course) while still being able to get things done around the house.


Was the dog not with him when you got together if it was from a previous marriage? That would mean you would know they this was a problem before you moved in I assume. Animals are a family effort. If you are home you should train the dog. Tel him outside, crate train him, whatever you have to do. Even if you were yo send the dog away, you still have to keep up with its training. Secondly, that dog could have a health condition and probably should get checked out. I was a mom of two with two puppies at that age. You can still take the dog out and train it.

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Hell no you have a little one plus one on the way, this can be dangerous for all of you especially being pregnant, if hes not willing to train her then she needs crated til hes home( dont really like crates myself) but he cnt expect you to do all, yes he works so you can stay home but he needs to help you or give her/him away

Food/water schedule and crate train. Getting the smell out of things will be where the challenge comes in


Two sections here. First for the smell and such. Vinegar and baking soda will break down the smell on the couch from the dog. Odoban for the floors (they have one specific to animal urine). Between using these two things, it will get the smell gone, and clean the couch smell up greatly.

Secondly, get a dog crate. Put the dog in the crate, bring it outside on a leash to go potty. Bring the dog back inside once it’s gone potty, if it potties on the floor, bring it back outside immediately, then put back in the kennel. Repeat. We rescued a 5 yr old dog that was never house trained. This is what our trainer had us do. Within a few days she was trained to go outside.


Try pee pass at the door. Then move them outside so pup can get used to going outside. Take him for
Walks as soon as he wakes up. And a half hour after he eats.


If you’re a SAHM and there’s enough money to consider doggy boarding school, why not hire a professional to come over and teach you to teach the dog? I mean literally you don’t have many nice options left.

The dog is not from his previous relationship.

It’s his dog.

And he’s dropping the ball with it, as he is with you.

Your boyfriend is a manchild.

He needs to take responsibility for his dependents, and choices.

Edited to add… I’m appalled that ‘ditching the dog’ (polite / less sickening description) was suggested in a variety of ways a number of times.



This wouldn’t have become my boyfriend or my baby daddy in the first place if he has a dog he let’s do that everywhere. :woman_shrugging:
Also, that couch will stink forever. Your home will always smell like dog.

Do you not have a backyard? If not, can you cordon off certain areas of your home such as bedrooms and lounge?

If you don’t wanna take it out then tie it out. Or fence in your yard. Or bring it to his ex and say here ya go


Since you’re the one home, unfortunately, you will have to be the one to train him. You said your. F has never taken him somewhere to be trained, that’s something that is going to fall on you. Maybe take him on walks every few hours to use there bathroom. I’m sure you and your 1 yeah could use fresh air as well. If y’all l or in a house out the dog outside every could hours for 30 mins to use the restroom. If this is too much for you, then it’s time to sit your boyfriend down and have the talk about finding someone who can spend time with the dog.

I would definitely find the dog a new home. If he’s not interested in the dog than the dog deserves someone who is


Tell him to take his dog and go
He doesn’t respect you

Tell him you let it outside to use the bathroom and it never returned :woman_shrugging:

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Well clearly it’s not the dogs fault. If you’re there all day why are you not letting it out. He can’t train a dog if he’s never there and you don’t have a problem with that but you want the dog trained? Looks like that dog needs a new home. Clearly neither of you are willing to train it. What is it supposed to do?


3 options, really….1. train the dog yourself (it’s a lot of work but very rewarding!) 2. Save $ to hire a trainer (not always a save all & may cost more than it’s worth). 3. Tell him it’s you or the dog. It’s HIS dog & should be HIS responsibility! It’s not fair to you, the kids, or the dog.

Yea my bf came home w a puppy when our baby was 6 months old and I was the one cleaning up and caring for him solo I feeeeel your pain smh eventually he had to step in for a while now the pup is 5 months and my baby 11 months and it’s been better but that’s due to my own dedication to the dog training him he’s been doin good no accidents in the house I’d suggest a kennel for the dog so after they eat kennel til you can take the walking or let them out to use the bathroom my dog pees at least twice and poops once and then he’s good on accidents in the house


You don’t have a fenced back yard? If not get a long chain and put a collar or a harness, on him and put him on the chain . Loop the chain around a porch post or something to keep the dog from funning off .
About the couch…it’s ruined . If it has dog pee in it you might as well put it on the curb for the junk man to pick it up. You will never get that pee smell out of it . No matter what you do it will never come out . Even if you got it where you couldn’t smell it anymore, the dog can still smell and he will always go back to it to pee again .

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Try puppy pads near a door then slowly move pad closer to door then outside

You have to take the dog out consistently. 6 AM, 9 AM, 12 pm  you can’t just let the dog out twice a day and expect it not to have accidents.
Also, I suggest getting a crate. 

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Yeah the dog would have to go. And if he’s okay living like that then that’s a HUGE red flag. That’s disgusting. The fact that he doesn’t see a problem with a house smelling like dog pee and feces and the unsanitary conditions is a problem in itself.


You should not be the one dealing with the dog , give him a ultimatum, or he gets his dog trained or you take the dog ya shelter …… and keep your word

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My 2 cents. If he doesn’t take care of his dog, he won’t help with the kids either. I would re-home the dog and the “man”


Tell him to sleep on the couch.

Train that dog get a video
Take the dog out take him to the park take all of you for a walk
There are training places
Call them

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Do you have a bond with this dog? With him gone all the time he isn’t their to socialize with this dog. Yes it’s his dog but at the end of the day it’s yours. Your going to have to sit down and think are you wanting to train this dog and take care of two children? Well soon to be two children.
If your answer is yes. Than it’s time to crate train the dog when it is being bad going to the bathroom in the house. And also you will have to take it outside to use the restroom.


Get his bank card and take dog to a trainer if he won’t

Sorry that isn’t a partner that is another child. You need to tell him you are human aswell and being a mother at home isn’t a 8 hour job you get to stop it’s a bloody 24 hour shift 7 days a week. Working is not parenting and alot of people need to realise that.

Consistency on your part since your home all day. Set a timer every 15 minutes to let the dog out, praise when she does her business maybe letting her stay out long enough to pee twice. A dog can learn at any age it takes consistancy on your part. Get an enzyme cleaner for the couch and see if anyone you know has a carpet cleaner that you can deep clean the couch or call a service like Stanley Steemer to clean the couch. My husband works I stay home (disability) and we have 3 dogs all 3 I potty trained 2 from 5 and 9 weeks the other was 2 years old (being a new environment he regressed). We don’t have any kids together my SS is 22 and on his own but when he lived with us I did all that too raising him and dogs and all that comes with it. Sit him down and tell him to stay seated on the couch for a few hours or even take a nap, if he can’t or won’t tell him he needs to pay for a service to deep clean the couch and train the dog if your unwilling to do so.

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Try a shock collar one with the beeping and the vibration on it. They learn fast trust me . Sounds more like behavioral issues. Vibration when the dig goes in the house and a treat for when it goes outside every time.

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Just gonna say that the dog doesn’t sound like the biggest problem here :thinking:


its not the dogs fault its your boyfriends. id give training dogo myself

Not a fan of ultimatums, but it’s warranted in this case. He trains the dog with you or you take it to the pound. Doesn’t sound like he spends any time with it anyway. In the mean time, put diapers on it & get wee wee pads for the house. Maybe you have a friend who would train the dog for you for a fee. He gets a new couch or you make him sleep on it. Lock the bedroom door on him and let him absorb the pee smell all night.

Doesn’t sound like he wants to be a partner or parent of a dog or child. Start training for a good job now.

You need to leave with the children. You and the kids shouldn’t have to live in animal filth. In fact CPS would def show up for that. Add in that he’s not parenting or even being a decent partner…. Those are huge red flags. Walk away!

Also I want to add that if the urine soaked into the framework of the couch there is NO cleaning it. It will always smell.

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Rehome the dog to someone who has time for it and get rid of the owner


get rid the dog. that dog would be
Gone FAST. idc if its a dog hes had since wme. .nope. train or out the house


Get rid off the dog when he’s not tell him u don’t know what happen to it

You stay at home, train the dog. He provides for you and your children together, you don’t work, you can take on the dog. Of course he should help during his time off. Get into a routine and take the dog out, install a doggie door, give him treats. It is do-able

Crate train tha MFR!!! Or throw it out and say it got loose. I can only handle so much bad smells!!! I’d lose my mind.

I’d never suggest anyone get rid of their dog. If it was suggested to me to get rid of mine the door would be hitting someone in the a&(&( as they departed. Take the dog to training yourself and make him clean up after the dog. I’d also take the couch to the curb and suggest he sleep on it. But telling someone you KNEW had a dog to get rid of it is gonna come back to bite you.


You don’t send a dog away to be potty trained. Buy a kennel, put the dog in a kennel. Take it out every 30 minutes to eat, drink, potty and play, back in the kennel it goes. After about a week, wait for 45 minutes. If you don’t want to buy a kennel then take the dog out every 30 minutes to an hour. Praise the dog when it potties outside.


Please find the dog a family it’s not his fault you nor your guy has time for it …

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The correct answer is do NOTHING including not cleaning up after it. Not friend will get the message

I promise you within 2 years you’ll be regretting being with a self centered non committed loser like that. The dog is a reflection of the whole relationship imo… It needs to go