Over the weekend he told me he requested today off. My delusional self thought he might be planning something for us… no instead he made plans with his friends… I told him that it really upset me that I wasn’t even a first thought and he made plans with someone else… he wasn’t phased but instead said “well I didn’t know what we were gonna do”. I left it at that and walked away. Haven’t said anything about it since. Well today comes and nothing. He didn’t remember. Or he did and just doesn’t want to say anything… I feel like I’m really at my wits end… every year I’ve gotten him a small gift and a card. Last year he even laughed in my face about forgetting and made me feel like absolute trash… I don’t feel loved or appreciated… I do everything for our house… Is it time for an ultimatum? I’ve been expressing my feelings to him for years and he just fills it with empty apologies…
If you’re thinking of walking away you’re already gone. Fuck him you deserve better.
I’d do the same to him on his birthday then he might get how you feel
It’s the utter lack of respect for me. I’d leave. It’s like a slap in the face. Forgetting is one thing but excuses and doubling down on why it’s okay to be a trash person would be the last straw for me. Plus he’s just a boyfriend! Peace out.
No ulimatums. Just leave his arse…
Put yourself first, invest in all that brings you joy. If he can’t contribute to your joy, you already know what you need to do. When you are focused on joy, you will draw those who contribute to you. Life is short. Focus on joy.
Ultimatum?? No its time to get rid of him!!
Seriously? Love yourself enough to know your worth. You are worth a whole lot more than this jerk.
If he wanted to he would. There’s another man out there who will remember your birthday and much much more. Leave him
Its time to leave and move on with your life. There is better, you deserve better.
Ultimatum is you just making a fool of yourself equivalent to an adult tantrum, he doesn’t care and you cnt take a hint so you stay. He reaps some benefits so you will be a place warmer till what he is looking for shows up.
Run sis run, you cn do so much better…
Maybe it’s time you forget him for good .
Nope. Leave. You deserve better.
You don’t deserve to be treated that way. Need to think long and hard about your future. If he treats you like this now … what’s it like in a few years, months, days from now. Time to move forward don’t let him hold you back. Best of luck
Time to simply just leave him. Obviously your feelings aren’t a priority in his life atm.
Sounds like you might need a change. Find someone who appreciates you.
What would you say to a friend of yours, if they had a boyfriend treating her with no regard or respect?
I’d leave! Personally ik the forgetting dates but it’s the odd factor he didn’t know what to do and he went and made plans with friends. Of he didn’t know he coukd have asked
It’s not time for an ultimatum, it’s time for a clean slate.
People are the words they’re their action or lack of￼
He’s showing you how he wants to treat you
Honestly if you feel the need to give an ultimatum, just leave! You know you deserve better. You deserve more than empty promises and apologies. Good luck to you!!
I’m confused it’s been going on for years and you’ve stayed thinking it will some how change ? Leave if it’s not what you want
Not everyone think birthdays are special,we don’t celebrate birthdays here or buy presents for each other but we treat each other good during the year like dinner dates,flowers,jewellery ect
Sorry you’re going thru that but he is the trashy one not you hun. Funny how men forget things but you let a woman do that to them & they run to the next available woman. Best bet is to move forward with your life & let him go.
Two things. If he cared he would. You teach people how to treat you.
It sounds like you’ve been giving him ultimatums and he’s showing you exactly what you’re going to get with him. Only you decide when enough is enough
Sounds like it might be time to move on from this relationship
Girl. Let him go. You deserve better!
You cant make someone feel something
if they dont. Make a list of the pro and Con’s of. your relationship. Be HONEST then make your decision…
Move away n on with a new life
When someone shows you how they feel, BELIEVE THEM.
Why would you be with someone like that? Honestly if your not a priority then he doesn’t deserve to be yours … find someone that will appreciate you
Ps this isn’t t normal behaviour for a man and shouldn’t be tolerated. If anyone has the same relationship in the comments leave and find much much better
So yeah, I know everyone always says people say leave. But honestly. Leave. You aren’t his priority. He won’t change that. If that habit is set in stone, it’ll stay.
He wants to just goof off, he isn’t ready for a committed relationship. So don’t hurt yourself further down the road, and cut ties how.
Do not give ultimatum It sounds like you have mentioned to him your feeling and he is not hearing you . If it’s been going on for years it’s probably not going to change . Move forward you have a whole life ahead of you.
Bridging the Gap Community Group
Tbh mine knows all of our special days, but he Almost never knows what day today is I make lil jokes like “man I feel old, it’s almost like I’m a whole year older today or something” or I also go in his phone and set reminders on the days. Idk why he was being rude, but tbh the days do slip by fast. Might not have even realized it was your birthday already
He never chage your his door mat kick him to curb he soon know which side his bread buttered on
You can buy yourself flowers white your name in the sand …, la la la
I can’t imagine myself begging for someone to give me gifts to show how much they love me /care for me
Why bother with an ultimatum? If you don’t feel appreciated or loved, why allow him to continue to make you feel that way? Don’t waste any more of your time and make space for someone who will at the very least not forget your birthday
What is the relationship the other 364 days of the year? Is it good? How does he treat you the rest of the time? Is this a reflection of the relationship most of the time? If so, don’t waste more time on him.
Make ur own plans with ur gurls or close fam. Just go. If he changes his mind n goes along so be it. If not… so be it. Dont have to include ur bf all the time.
At this point, why do you even need an ultimatum? It’s time to get rid of him. I’m sorry but if he can’t even remember your birthday, or acknowledge it, he’s showing you just how much he cares about you, and it’s obviously not as much as you care for him. Save yourself further heartbreak, and let him go.
It depends on whether it’s important to you. If it is, then you need to tell him it is and that he needs to stop treating you like s**t on your birthday as it matters to you that he treats you like a queen.
He will keep doing what you allow him to do. Quit buying him things for his birthday. We don’t really celebrate birthdays here. We might have a favorite meal but that’s usually it. I’m the person that likes to buy cards so l get him cards for certain occasions but he’s just not a card giver and l’m ok with that.
IN THE BIN he’s giving you crumbs. You want the whole loaf. Don’t be hungry my darling x
Not time for ultimatum. Time for new boyfriend
Don’t bother about an ultimatum, leave. My ex was like yhis and nothing ever changed no matter what I said
Always remember “if he wanted to he would”
If you are asking this I think you know the answer.
Girl you know the answer. Get rid of him. A wife comes before anything or anybody no excuses.how many years has he been so called forgetting
Only 2choices here,stay & regret or leave & find happiness.Don’t settle.jmo.
So go out with some of your friends and have a male free day or night
I don’t know many men who remember birthdays
Without being prompted a week or 2 in advance
Do the same to him on his birthday
Leave him w NO explanation. You’ve said all you need to for years.
And you’re still with him why?
There’s is no ultimatum… just saying hey it’s over.
I wouldn’t give him an ultimatum, I would move on. He’s not going to treat you any better if you were married. We only live once, why be unhappy
Ultimatums don’t work and literally are just forcing someone to do something they don’t want to do. If he wanted to, he would. Remember that. It’s time to just end the relationship.
I hate to play Devils advocate, but dumping someone for not celebrating your Birthday sounds like overkill.
Plenty more fish in the sea, move on
No ultimatum needed. He has shown you repeatedly how little you mean to him. Time is precious,don’t waste anymore with this loser. You deserve only the best. Never settle!
He won’t change,you deserve better.
Go and don’t look back !
Leave him ! Run while you can
He sounds like a narcissist
How much LOUDER can he tell you?!
You deserve better. Birthday’s don’t always have to be big but he should put you first on your day.
My ex used to say that he didn’t have money cause my birthday was during rent time. So was his yet I always got him a small gift and a card. After the 2nd year I broke it off with him. First birthday after our break up all of a sudden he texts me and asked me if I had plans. Yup with my guy friend that made plans for me . Best thing I ever done
Sounds like a narcissist. Obviously you are not high on his list of priorities. Sounds like time to put your selve on the number one list since does not. God bless what ever you choose.
Just tell him point blank what you want to happen. Maybe he doesn’t know what to do. For example, “I feel bad when you ignore my birthday. It’s really important to me that it’s celebrated. I’d like you to take me out on a nice date on or as near my birthday as possible. You don’t have to throw a 150-person party or get me 15 carats of diamonds, but dinner out at a restaurant with tablecloths and wine, a picnic lunch and a movie, a piece of jewelry and some chocolates, an experience like a painting class, a massage, or a zip line, or a day trip someplace like X, Y, or Z to do (whatever you’d like: historic sites, museums, boat or train ride, camping, hiking, whitewater rafting, etc.)”
Don’t give him more than 3 specific choices. That’s the limit of what he can remember, and if you’re not specific, you could wind up on a day trip to watch a game at a sports bar. If you want a card or present, let him know exactly where to shop to get it/them.
I’m guessing he could care less about celebrating his own birthday. Guys do what they want to make themselves happy all the time, so it’s not like they have to wait for a special occasion. It’s tougher for women because of lower or no income, domestic responsibilities or lack of easy transportation to just up and do something fun.
Alternatively, think what his “love language” is: does he have coffee made in the morning? Does he look after your car without being asked? Is he always touching you gently? Maybe figure he’s not going to change and just plan something with girlfriends instead. Or get some marital counseling to help you both communicate better.
Are you better off with or without him?
I’m pretty sure you have answered your own question.
Men treat you how they feel about you.
Ok. After the first half my thoughts were " give him the benefit of doubt. I’m BAD with dates. My husband always has to remind me". BUT ( and this is a big but) after I read the second half and that you had expressed your feelings before I would think that he might just be being a jerk. Age does come into play and how long you guys have been together but seriously?
No ultimatum, he’s already shown you that you’re not a priority. Just walk away.
Girl you deserve better. If he doesn’t help or appreciate things you do around the house and forgets ur birthday. You said boyfriend and years, you need a man who wants to wife you not keep u as a gf.
I used to remind my ex for weeks that my birthday was coming up. If he worked that day I’d read him off all of my birthday wishes and he still wouldn’t wish me a happy birthday. Every year I was with him I bought my own cake and birthday supper to have with the kids and made my own plans unless friends surprised me. This year was my first birthday with my current partner. Without reminding, he wished me a happy birthday first thing. Got a sitter for the kids. Surprised me at his kothers by doing up the house. Took me out to the local bar where they surprised me with balloons. Then got the entire place to sing me happy birthday with all of my friends while he brought me cake and roses.
Long story short, of he wants you, he will show you. He will make you feel loved and special. We are a very low income home and he STILL found a way to make me feel like the only girl in his eyes.
I’m saying this from a place of experience, I was married for 10 years together for 13. I gave so much of myself, always thinking " if I could just make him see, make him understand" , if I could say things differently, do better,be better. In the end, I only lost myself,my voice, my pride, and sense of self worth. He knows what he is doing, he knows how it makes you feel, he knows but he doesn’t care. If he cared the way he should, he would be a better version of himself. It won’t change. Don’t let fear of change, or being alone, or your comfort level in not starting over…stop you.
You don’t have to be angry, or have a huge breakup scene, just be done.
Run now. Don’t waste the rest of your life with this little boy.
Yea do ur own thing make plans with old frens go spend his money even on holidays and say oh thought u had plans wit ur frens
It’s not time for an ultimatum. It’s time to dump him.
I see red flags all over the place. Run.
You’ve already given it and he’s responded. He doesn’t care
Deal with it or leave.
Sounds young & not ready to be serious
Have a week end away without telling him
How long are you willing to put up with his b.s.?
Obviously his friends are more important.
If I was you I’d walk out
Never leave your man over something as trivial as a birthday present. Some people just don’t give presents. Hopefully he show love and appreciation in other ways
Dude doesn’t even like you, so why are you still with him?
Y’all need to stop shacking up with these losers!
And she said “for years”
Why you torturing yourself ma’am?!
The key word here is boyfriend, girl walk away and don’t look back! He doesn’t appreciate you
He seems like a complete jerk and just childish
It is definitely time to let him go. I know it is difficult but someone in that relationship needs to treat you with love and it might as well be you. Everytime you put up with it you are setting a precedent for how it is ok to treat you. Know your self worth. Stand up for yourself.Start by leaving. I remember second guessing my decision to end my marriage but it was toxic and unhealthy. Soo glad I left. I met a man who loves and spoils me in a way I never imagined and we have a beautiful life together. As much as it hurts now, I promise you will be happier in the end. You have to take put the trash before you can get to the good stuff. I recommend playing , Flowers, by Miley Cyrus, on repeat.
Best of luck
Then…… oh I don’t know, leave?
Why are you still with him
You are at the bottom of his list of priorities. Sounds like you have wasted a lot of years dealing with this creature
Ultimatums are actually bullshit. Because you’re still forcing someone to do what they don’t want to do. Just get outta there. You’re not tied down.
ewww his not really husband or father material ! leave now
Everyone always says get out and leave him. But are all these women actually doing this also or are they just giving advice ? My thoughts on this post is if you love him talk to him ! He is not a mind reader. I mean deep talk . If you still feel frustrated than do what you think you need to do. Don’t listen to others No one knows your relationship except you. No one will have a broken heart except you !
NO its not time for an ultimatum…IT’S TIME TO LEAVE
I wanted to be the odd one out and say stay and work on it but nah… at this point why put more work into a dead end? Leave. If he wanted to he would… but he doesn’t. At days end shit is still shit doesn’t matter how much you wanna try to dress it up.
He sounds like a douche. I’d cut Ties. Value and celebrate yourself. And be with others who aren’t so cruel and deliberately absent-minded. No ultimatems. Just be real with yourself.
He’s a narcissist. Leave and block. It won’t get any better and you’re wasting your precious years on a man who is showing you how much he actually values you.
Why is the bar always so goddamn low for men. He still had to dig to get under it but he did it!!! Like honestly do men even like their partners???
No ultimatum. Time for a departure