My 13 year old smokes weed, what can I do?

So my 13 year old son told me he smokes weed. Well I asked bc one day I went to pick him up from his friends house and when he came out he was acting funny. He didn’t want to look at me and was just quiet and when he did talk to me he was looking away so right away I was like this kid is high, then we made eye contact and yup his eyes were glossy.

So I said I’m going to ask you a question and you need to be honest. Are you high? And he said yes mom I am. I smoked weed with my friends.
Good thing about him is he can’t lie to me. We are super close.
But idk how to go about it now that I know. Bc I feel like I can tell him no don’t be doing that but then he’ll just go behind my back. But I’m also not just going to be okay with it.
Idk!?!?!? How would you feel? And what would you do?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My 13 year old smokes weed, what can I do? - Mamas Uncut

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He wouldn’t be allowed to go back to that friends or hang out away from home.

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There are worse things. Let them be so long as the keep food grades. :woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging:

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Oof, following this one, I haven’t had this situation happen but I have the same type of relationship with my oldest

I mean he was honest with you & he could be doing so much worst, I would not make it into a big issue unless it starts negatively effecting him.

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Tell him weekends only and his grades better be high as fuck as well :rofl:

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Ground him and don’t allow him to hang out with thar friend anymore. However, have a frank and open talk with him letting him know you appreciate his honesty. Only ground him for a day, max.

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It’s only weed. Ask if anything is bothering him

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There are way worse things that kids are doing and dying from.

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Sit him down and explain the pros and cons of marijuana. Also if it is legal or illegal in your state and the consequences if there was ever police involvement. Then you can talk to him about when it would be ok for him to use it.

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Weed is a natural plant. Nothing man made about it and safer than most drugs in the painkiller section of a pharmacy Nobody has ever had an overdose from weed. The worst that’s gonna happen is he will laugh and eat a lot. Just make sure you have chocolate, crisps and juice in your house for him. He was honest with you so give him some trust that he will stop if he needs to.

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Me personally, as long as my kid goes to class and does all his work and is an overall good kid. I would be okay with it. But that’s just me.

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There’s worse things and he’s being honest with you, but I feel like if you tell him no or over punishment will make him want to do it more

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Honestly, it might be time to be a parent and not a friend…

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I would just be honest with him. If he’s going to do it he’s going to do it and the biggest thing is you don’t want to ruin your relationship because of this nor the open communication you have. I would express concerns and lay everything down on the table, including where it comes from because some sources will lace marijuana with unsafe things that could harm him. Let him know all of your feelings, and depending on where you live the legal consequences that could come with him being caught with it. (I live in MS so it’s not legal here).

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If He was truthful with you I wouldn’t worry about it.

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Sadly if he’s doing it now he will still find ways to continue if you try to force him to stop.

Kudos to him for his honesty, I would have got mad and said NO! Pros and cons of drug use , let him know

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Just tell him about the legalities in the situation, in some states you could get a child abuse charge. If you’re as close as you think then he might quit until he is at least an adult.

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Education is the key. Educate yourself as well as your child on the use of cannabis. A

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Kids are gonna do it wether you say not to or not. I would just tell him to know where it’s coming from and not to be experimenting with other things. Pot isn’t as bad as most people think.

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Honestly, he’s going to do it either way. It’s legal in a bunch of states (I know he’s not of age) but I would just make sure to tell him not to dabble in other drugs and just stick to weed.

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Question i would ask her first is does she or hr partner smoke

He’s 13. Explain to him why he cannot and should not be smoking and what the consequences are, short term and long term, not only for him but for your family as a whole. Cut off his access to money, phone, bad friends and in order to gain back privileges he must pass random drug tests at your discretion. I agree that there are worse things but at 13 years old, that’s completely unacceptable.

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Talk about anxiety, peer pressure, sleep or appetite issues. It’s not like it used to be. Better than losing him to herion, fentynol patches, Crack, etc.

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Doing weed is just like drinking. Sorry but he wouldn’t be allowed to hang out with those friends anymore. Maybe be legal in some states but there’s still a certain name requirement just like smoking cigarettes or drinking. Unless medically necessary.

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He was honest, as long as he keeps good grades shouldn’t be much of a problem. There are worse things he could be doing, and if you ground him from that friend he may find other people to smoke with instead. As long as he’s safe I don’t see nothing wrong with it.

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Well as long as his school grades are good and he’s not out getting in trouble and having babies I wouldn’t worry about it

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So for those saying don’t allow him to hang out with said friend, kids are gonna do what they want anyways even if you ground them… they will find a way… and as far as a 13 year old smoking weed, there are worse things out there he could be doing… definitely see if there is something going on with him. And be happy he told you the truth. Most kids would lie…

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Does he have a physical disability or social anxieties or depression? Idk what state you are from but where we are from I could support my child to get the medical marijuana. And honestly I don’t want my children to smoke it just in edible forms. I support medical marijuana. Move here :heart:

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How are people saying it’s only weed?! He’s a minor! 13, not even legal age to buy cigs :woman_facepalming:t2: I’d not be happy with my child smoking weed.

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There’s nothing you can do but talk to him. If he likes it he’s gonna do it regardless.

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All these people out there saying don’t let him hang out with that friend anymore doesn’t know much of anything. How do you all know that he himself isn’t the bad influence? Have a talk with him and that’s all you can do. He will do it whether you know About it or not.i personally would rather know

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You need to educate him on why he shouldn’t smoke. Tell him not to give into peer pressure and that he needs to stay away from drugs.

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I have dealt with this before I have a 15 now and 17 yr old they both smoke weed daily my one and big rule about it is if effects ur schooling ur done I for one can’t say no because I started younger than them and don’t wanna be that hipocritical parent

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I wouldn’t do anything. There’s no stopping them lol

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I think you need to tell him just what you said above. That while you know that telling him “no” just means he will do it behind your back, you are not ok with it. Have a conversation with him. It seems like you two have a good relationship and would be able to talk this out and come to an agreement.

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I think that you need another conversation with him. Did he enjoy it? Does he want to it again? Did he feel pressured by friends or was it his decision?

It’s really good that he is honest with you and you don’t want to break that bond but I’d like to know the above before I decided what to do/say as weed can be the ‘introductory’ drug before they try harder stuff.

Good luck x

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Just tell him not to do it 24/7. Because doing anything all day everyday can become a habit. Only use when he needs to release some stress or anxiety and to be safe about it.

If you think its a big deal maybe educacate yourself on it a little more

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This may sound really harsh, but kick his ass. He still lives in your house and he must obey your rules. Get him some counseling or scare him straight. I couldn’t do that with my son. He was an adult and I couldn’t do anything. He is still using

I do not think weed is bad at all. I smoke weed. I guess my concern with it is his young age. Then again times have drastically changed since I was 13, in 1997. We were actual 13 year olds then…kids that are 13 now are basically 21 :sob:

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Could be worse… could be way worse… 420 is safer than alot of things he COULD have tried…

I told my kiddo if they ever ever want to try it… please please come to me and smoke mine. God only knows what the friends are buying and if it isn’t or is laced with something toxic.

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Eh to be honest it’s just marijuana. Kudos for his honesty but just educate yourself and him on cannabis and the use of it.

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I feel like he’s gonna do it no matter what…and u are super lucky that he is open and honest with you so just keep it that way. :blush:

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Honestly depending on the state depends on the legality’s of the situation, weed isn’t a gateway drug or considered a drug by the DARE program, medical cannabis is used in many states so just educate, check the laws of your state and if he is going t o continue doing it make sure he can tell the difference between something that’s laced or something that is safe, make sure you won’t get in trouble if he gets caught. Weed is honestly a gray area at this point.

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has anyone ever died of this jane overdose?

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Weed isn’t the worst thing he could be doing. BUT…it’s no good for the teenage brain which is not yet fully developed. I would definitely be putting my foot down. Ground him if you have to.

Time to educate your child in what he is doing and teach him your boundaries.

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I’m pretty sure my oldest will be when he gets that age I’m sure there are worse things in the world to deal with!! I guess teach him to stay away from tobacco products?

He was honest about it with you which is a huge thing…long as he’s not out getting in trouble and doing worse things I would let it be…Like most said on this post he could be doing way worse!!

Momma you’re already doing it right if he was able to be honest with you! Whatever decision you make for your family will be a good one! Parenting is so hard!

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I see marijuana as a medicine. With that being said, yes, he’s young. However, he was honest with you about it and to punish him by keeping him in the house or away from these friends, will only lead to negative things, like sneaking out, lying, etc. If he’s being safe while he is smoking and it doesn’t affect his grades, I say let him be, especially if you want him to continue being open and honest with you. Just my opinion.

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Have discussions about the risks of damage (it affects teenage brains, etc). I’ve been told that getting them to follow risk reduction is possibly more effective. Teens experiment & try stuff but knowing what’s too risky & how to reduce use. Also encouraging other methods of stress reduction so they have a toolbox for when they are stressed out.

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Better to do it and do it at home safe then sneak around and get hurt

I smoked at that age . My parents were completely cool about it as long as an adult was around

:expressionless: Weed is legal in most states. Discuss that he shouldn’t smoke everything somebody passes him. Because dummies lace stuff. Other than that hell my mom let me smoke weed and im fine. Smoked so much I no longer smoke now.

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just educate him on it. tell him that there’s a time and a place to smoke. i smoke weed too, and my mom is 100% fine with it. i can smoke as long as i don’t bring any into the house or come home high as a kite.
maybe these kinds of boundaries can be set with him also? kids are gonna do what they want regardless, might as well figure out a way to get it controlled before it turns into something bad, like the cops getting involved etc

There are worse drugs he could be doing, weed is not that big of a deal, I’d rather my kids smoke a joint than shoot something in their arm

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I started smoking at 12. Best thing I’d say is talk to him and tell him if he wants to smoke it can only be at ur house

Let him do it it’s not going to hurt anything I’m 23 and smoke weed. It’s not something he can get addicted to. As long as he doesn’t do anything other than that he should be fine.

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Telling him no will only push him to do it behind your back. Taking him away from those friends will only cause him to sneak. All you can tell him is you don’t like it, you don’t like the idea of him doing and that it won’t be brought into your house. If he is caught with it in your home there is consequences. He is so young and you’re stuck in a tough spot

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Sounds like he’s been raised without a moral compass.

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I would much rather my kids smoke weed instead of cigarettes, meth, etc.

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Meh, it’s just weed. :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Its weed not crack.
You start preaching hell do it because you’re jumping on him.

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Have a conversation with him as to why … your rules should matter it’s called respecting your wishes … I would test my kid randomly… and if it continues they will have to deal with consequences to his or hers actions … Your the Parent and it’s up to you to set boundaries and look of for your kids … so do what you think is best

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Smoke it with him. :v: (jk :joy: unless you want :woman_shrugging:t3:)
But honestly if you feel more comfortable maybe ask him to only get high at your home then that way it can be in a more controlled environment. I agree with others that if you are too strict he will do it anyways behind your back.

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It a bigggg bag of weed and make him smoke it til he doesn’t want to smoke anymore

I am a recovering addict (pain pills were my downfall). You most likely will not be able to stop him. But you can sit down and have a conversation with him and tell him how you feel about it and what could happen. If he has all of the knowledge then you did your best and the rest is up to him. I think if you scold him or tell him to stop he could rebel and do it more or even start hiding it from you.

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His brain is still trying to develop now he’s to young after he is older his choice but not now. But his choice of freinds need to change for now

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Be grateful he was truthful with you!! If you push back hard and tell him he can’t hang with that friend/s, etc he is going to start lying. Educate him on cannabis,cbd, hemp. He will do it if he wants to, just be happy it isn’t using alcohol, cigarettes, pills, hard drugs. My mom caught me smoking at 13 and she tried to make me stop, I just got more sneaky and lied, when she realized she couldn’t stop me we had a more peaceful relationship, only stipulations she gave me were to keep doing good in school.

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The thing is he doesnt know if it could be laced right now weed laced with fentanyl is going around big time…my son is 14 AND WHEN HES 18 HE CAN DO WHAT HE WANTS…BUT NOT AT 14

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Make him feel safe coming to you to talk about it. Ask him about it, you want to make sure it’s JUST weed and not weed laced with something else. It’s not the end of the world, there are a lot worse things out there but just the fact that he was honest with you, shows you he respects you enough to be honest. It starts with one conversation but it cannot stop there. Don’t be angry with him, don’t be mean to him about it, and please for the love of god don’t dog him for it. Create a safe space for the both of you. :slightly_smiling_face:

I envy your relationship. You must be a really good mom for him to be so honest with you. I don’t have any advice for you but just wanted wanted tell you that you rock.

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Just thank the lord all it was was weed.

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Talk to him, express your feelings about it calmly. The reality is, as a teen, he’s gonna do what he wants, with your knowledge or without it, so I recommend keeping yourself in the loop. Make sure he understands he CAN go to jail over it though.

The child is honest enough to tell you. Sit down and have a real conversation with him, not I’m the parent, you’re the child this is how it’s gonna be. Talk to him. None of us can really tell you how to handle this, we’re all so different. Talk to your baby. If you jump on, ground him he may not be so honest next time.

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How people are claiming it’s helping mental health is beyond me, a mental breakdown later I’m glad it’s out of my system and I’m getting better, any mental health issues it will just intensify and that’s facts. Medical marijuana may be different and grown with certain chemicals I’m not disputing that but I promise whatever he’s smoking with his friends will not be like that, I smoked it on and off for years sometimes for years at a time absolutely loved it it’s amazing at first you have the best laughs, get a different perspective, food tastes extra amazing! But it’s addictive depending on the person and never done me any good long term it’s so damaging, that’s my views I’m not sure how helpful that is :heart: kids will be kids and do what they want you can’t control that but maybe try educating him a little share some people’s stories that might help I guess xxx

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I wouldn’t allow it. There is no smoking in my house. It’s bad for a person’s health. Find out why at 13 he wants to get high.

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Educate your kids about drugs. If hes smoking weed he most likely has knowledge about other drugs.( social media etc)My kids are older, but my thought was ide rather know what they were doing then be clueless and unable to help guide them through their choices. Its hard growing up and chances are mistakes will be made.

So kids are going to experiment it’s what kids do. I’d have a conversation with him about his age and issues that it could cause at a young age. To me personally his honesty is the get out of jail free card this time. If he continues there will be consequences. All this is what I told my 14vyr old when she was honest with me.

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Does he do it everyday?? Or just when he’s stressed out? I’d talk to him more about it. Is it affecting his grades or attendance? 13 is pretty young to start smoking anything. That’s a tough one :grimacing:

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My question is where were his friend’s parents’

Plus its to dangers now with all the stupid shit their putting in and on it now days

Talk to him about drugs. Let him know that some natural plants are good for your body but it must be used for improvement or to help in an illness. Drugs are the same. You need to have self control to use them as well as maturity.
Drugs take money. So you need to know or have priorities as well.
Reputation also needs to be addressed. It would be sad if he were a known user to the police. Prayers. God bless.

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You did the right thing, maybe have a talk with him about the outcome. Just be neutral and tell him it would be better maybe if he waited until he was at least 18-years old. You’re only a kid once, and in the adult life is forever. Maybe just have him pick better friends to be around. I am not against it but I would deter my son from those groups of people.

Could be so much worse. I would only make it an issue if his grades start to slip or chores or self care starts to decline
If he’s doing everything you expect of him and being honest then just leave it for now

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Personally if he’s doing good in school and outside of school and if you are okay with him doing at the house where you can supervise and make sure he ain’t doing stuff that is laced then I wouldn’t see a problem at least he’s at home and safe

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At the end of the day the kid is going to make his own choices. Weed isn’t something to immediately draw major concern from. Have a conversation with him about Marijuana. :woman_shrugging:t4: There are major benefits to it, but smoking it can also be harmful to the lungs… so definitely please inform him of that. Edibles are easier on the lungs. Obviously. So definitely include the importance of taking care of his body too, because the 2 go hand in hand. In the long run, Marijuana is going to become legal, it’s just a matter of time. And to be fair… kids these days have more stress to face than we did when we were their age… global pandemic, people dying left and right, the economy is crap, the housing market is crap, and these kids are about to shoved out into it and expected to meet these extreme expectations. I say let the kid have the freedom to be a kid and learn who HE is right now. Set boundaries though. If he’s going to school high, that’s a punishment. If his grades start slipping, punishment. Things like this. He is still a child who has a future.

Honestly, I would thank him for being honest and just explain to him the risks of smoking pot because you don’t know where people got it from or if it is laced with something. Especially if they’re all kids, meaning they can’t buy it from a dispensary where it is regulated and “safe”. Just discuss it with him and ask him why he felt like he needed to do it. Maybe he’s been stressed? Maybe he just wanted to have fun? Who knows, but maybe suggest other options for him to “fix” whatever caused him to want to do it in the first place?

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Well it’s great you are that close. So wouldn’t that mean you are able to open up to him? If you know he would do it behind your back then what are you losing by giving him some factual information about what he’s doing and what it could do to him being so young?

Simply educate him. Marijuana is not bad nor harmful for anyone, though some people think it is. In my humble opinion, he’s too young, ask him if he can wait a couple more years. He’s most likely gonna do it regardless, especially if his friends are doing it. Hopefully he respects you enough to listen. If he continues doing so without your permission, ask him to be responsible with it. If it is not legal there, he can get in trouble. Best of luck :leaves:😮‍💨

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Maybe give him some literature on the effects of THC on an under developed brain. Smoking before the brain is finished developing isnt good for you. Really should wait until his 20s for that. This is coming from an avid smoker

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Well I’d get them help first of all with therapy or whatever but not let them smoke weed

If y’all are close perhaps he’ll listen to you and not do it. Remind him that it is illegal and if caught he’ll pay the price (juvenile time, community service, fine etc). He has a young, clean mind and lungs. Encourage him not to smoke and miss those things up.

Some states it is illegal and if its legal in other states, it still may be illegal for juveniles. There are studies show that juveniles who smoke weed, their brains do not develop like they should. The wires seem to not connect where they should. (I’m not against Marijuana) however in children, I am. Juveniles can be charged with possession of Marijuana. I guess it depends on you as mom. Give him pros and cons.

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I am a mom that smokes. I have a card and my kids are 13&15. They know about it, why I do it and they don’t touch it. My kids and I are close and talk about everything. It’s definitely a conversation I would have with him as a mom and friend. You don’t want to push to hard… cause they will go against you. Don’t want to be too soft cause they’ll think I can do anything.

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