It will only get worse. Believe me, I know.
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Men a highly visual women aren’t so much so - he chose you to marry - the porn answers a different need - let it go it has nothing to do with you
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Niether one of you should be watching porn.
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Its a man thing! U shouldn’t feel insecure its just something a LOT of men do. It doesn’t mean he’s cheating on u, he’s probably just having a wank! Chill out, i highly doubt u have anything to worry about!!
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I only know what I’ve read .
Here it is !
It’s called ,
Porn Creep !!
Nothing against you !!! He has done this to himself !!
Men watch porn too frequently , and get to depend on the effects , and no longer
get satisfied with their girlfriend or wife ; the video s become the substitute lover
or lovers ! If you are in love with this man you are SUNK !
It’s video ,
masterbate , forget about wife ! When men “get into it”
they cannot get
out of it without
professional
help , so most men say “you’re
Crazy , I can quit any time I want”.
I don’t know how many families I’ve seen destroyed .
I’ve told you what I know .
If I may offer a little advise ; see an attorney !!
He or she can offer all sorts of
tips and things to help you strengthen your position , should your man say I’m doing it ; if you don’t like it leave ! Your attorney may tell you another way your fellow may go … you don’t know it but you are already in danger , for heaven’s sake don’t have children with this man , if you already have ,
under no circumstances
never ever leave them alone with this man !! Not even for “just five minutes” !!
See an attorney and do it now , you have no idea what you have walked into . PLEASE !!!
Then try to figure out why you want to love this man !
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Hon men can be insecure too! He probably doesn’t want you watching another man having sex even though he gives himself permission for him to watch it! I’m 70 now and I have found out throughout life experiences men are very insecure and don’t want women to watch it and don’t want you knowing they do. When I was young I blamed myself so much but throughout life have found I wasted time on men! Some are totally messed up and are in child porn also! Just don’t get into it and find a nice young man you can trust! Dump him hon!
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It starts like that just a little then more and more then can’t have sex with you unless he sees porn first … then before you know it he is trying something different treats you like your in a porn show … fucken degrading…makes you feel lower than life …
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One thing, how good are you two together without it. If it seems he has to watch it before he is intimidate with you, then there is something wrong. My EX husband started like that. Just watching it now and then. Sometimes with me, sometimes without me. Next, he was needing to watch it while we were intimate which made me feel he was not with ME at that moment. They should be spending their time finding ways to keep their intimate time with YOU special and not waste their time on that.
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I am sorry to hear about ur being insecure… I dont care if my man watch porn. He does sometime because it help him to learn to pleasure me…
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It’s sick sick. If it takes that for him to get his satisfaction. Get rid of him. You’re not a play thing. If he really loves you, he will not do this. He should have more respect.
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Get a vibrator and show him the door. It’s more fun ,less work and you can put it back in the box when your done.
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Do something that bothers him and see if he likes it. Nothing wrong with being uncomfortable that he does it alone, and your feelings should matter.
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How long before the fantasy becomes a reality and the next thing you know he is out with hookers and experimenting with his fantasies. I once listened to a radio talk show and how some women related stories of how their partners addiction to porn took ober their life their job their family and destroyed everything especially for him. Some men didn’t care if their partners left them. I think you know what to do. The fact that u bring it up is proof u know its already a problem. Imagine living with this worry and anxiety for years to come…obviously he’s not satisfied or happy with you and just using you…get out immediately…move on …
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I’m not an expert on marriage but I think it’s not such a bad thing that he watches them. It’s better than cyber sex, don’t you think?
They are not real women and you don’t have to feel insecure at all. He sometimes needs to finish it quickly himself but he wanna take time with you for making love. Just two different things. And, believe me, during your pregnancy, after birth, or anytime you don’t feel like it, you would be so glad he watches them.
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Wtf is with everyone saying “work on your insecurities”? It is totally ok to not like something or not be in to something, without being “insecure”! I’m beginning to think all of you saying that are the ones with insecurities! You can like something without putting someone else down for not liking it. Am I insecure because I don’t like vanilla ice cream, or because I’m not into watching basketball? Geezus!
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Sounds like he is addicted to porn.
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Sexual addiction issues…it is not normal behavior…and he obviously does not listen to your concerns…and porn exploits people…many actors are addicted to drugs…why do you settle for this bad behavior?
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You asked us what is going on and why but the only person who really knows is him. It sounds as though nothing was resolved when you spoke about it. Ask him for answers. Be aware of what you would like to happen. Tell him. There’s not much point in endless talking if you have no bottom line and nothing changes.
What I find really funny here is that there are all these comments standing up for menc, saying that they are just visual and they’re just men and that’s what they do and making excuses for this behavior. So it’s okay for a man to do this but yet the left repeatedly wants to eliminate “toxic masculinity” and make their men more feminine. Make things all gender-neutral. I think the left is very confused!
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He probably lies about it because you let him know it bothers you.
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You are giving him mixed messages. You obviously do mind because whether he is watching it with or without you he is desiring other women. This is emotionally cheating. He may not stop without therapy. Porn is an addiction.
The porn wouldn’t bother me as much as the lying if he lies about this what else is he lying about.
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Why are the Google accounts linked? Is that a thing for other couples?
Please talk to a counselor not people on Facebook
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You’re controlling AF and you need to address it IMMEDIATELY if you plan to have a successful marriage! He can ONLY watch porn WITH YOOOUUUUUU? And you have a linked email so you can see WTF he’s doing? My God! Get over yourself!
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I’d bail out of this situation.
I went through this with my ex husband, he prefered watching it instead of doing it. That as well as many other reasons are why I left him. Show him the door NOW and change the locks. It will never change
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It’s porn chill, as long as its you he gets that attention from what does it matter
And if it helps him to spice it up what you complaining over watch some yourself and chill
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See how he likes you watching young studs giving it to a young lady real nasty. It works, did for me 
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Wife cut me off 13 years ago. What else can I do but watch porn.
Got to put it out there, that some of us women watch porn alone too. Doesn’t mean we’re not wanting our men or going to cheat, we’re sexually driven humans, some times we aren’t even seeing the people just the act itself. Maybe you could work on your insecurities and feel Better in your self because you deserve to feel good. X
Do you wear lingerie or foreplay or has it become just a task to have sex .
Lots of time the intimacy loses it shine over time as people stop putting effort into it to make it fun.
Sex can become only about intimacy and the fun can disappear.
You have to work at a healthy sexual relationship.
Try go buying some new sexy clothes buy some toys and enjoy yourself in front of him.
You become the entertainment and you get the reward so to say.
Talk about what you can both do together to add some fun and spark.
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If you are a Christian…this should bother you. Porn is unrealistic fantasy and a horrible representation of what God created sex for. Therapy? Not sure if your guy is a Christian and if not, this fact won’t mean anything. I truly would say prayer, counseling is needed here. If your fiance is doing something that makes you uncomfortable and won’t stop. Please do not marry this man. Sex is intimacy for a married man and woman. Once married everything you two do in intimate spaces is ok as long as you both are. People don’t realize that casual recorded sex is dangerous. All of the “actors” are paid to make everything look sensual and appealing. Over acting. If he likes to be adventurous…wait until you are married. Porn is an addiction just like drugs. Satan tries all temptation, but Jesus says he will protect you from temptation if you resist.
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All of the people telling you to leave him over watching porn are making me laugh. I’m super insecure as well and I think porn is disgusting, but he’s a man. Men like porn 
it’s not an emotional thing and I’m sure he doesn’t do it because he thinks low of you. I would pick and choose your battles and personally this is not one I would pick. It’s just a video. Some people like porn. We all have our kinks
There’s definitely a problem.
I’m not sure I like saying one adult “catches” another adult doing something adult. We are partners in life not parents. Do I like porn? Nope. Does that mean my husband can’t? Nope. I understand how it makes you feel but it’s not the hill to die on in my 37 year marriage success opinion.
Dump him now. It won’t get any better
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You all sound prude af! Its porn! Every adult with a normal n sex life watches porn. Is he paying for it? Is it putting you in a financial bind? What’s the issue…you’re insecure… That isn’t his problem… Maybe go get a sexy outfit and use a dildo and make porn for him oh with him. He obviously chooses to be with you…maybe he just has a sex drive or needs a stimulation you can’t give… If he’s not cheating on you…why freak out about a few minutes of porn.
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He is a Man… that’s what they do… he is gunna do it regardless of you being there or not…
Very unfortunately it’s out there…
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Not good. Men can become addicted to porn then you will have a whole problem. You don’t need that. You deserve better. You don’t want to end up his sex toy and believe me you will!
I am not a prude. I just have some wisdom and experience. Break it off. Save yourself years of heart ache .
Leave him. You are not enough for him! He cannot get satisfied. He’s nuts!!! Don’t waste another second on him!!!
My pet peeve is when guys send each other porn. That is the most annoying thing. Like dude…your buddy yanked off to that and sent that to you??? Why dont you guys just wank each other off:roll_eyes:
huge turn off. Gay
Y’all are missing the MAIN point. HE IS HIDING IT AND LYING!
Girl. He’s a liar. When someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE THEM!
Then watch them without him. Lol
Loser time to move on
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OMG, what a tremendous amount of bad advice on this thread. Everyone telling you to leave him over this needs their head checked. I suspect they’ve never been in a healthy relationship or they’re sitting at home knitting in the company of their very many cats…
First of all, things you’ve said here are wildly hypocritical. You said you don’t mind if he watches it, as long as it’s WITH you (which is pretty demanding), but then you’ve complained that he’s watched it when he’s right next to you. You have feelings of insecurity about something he most likely started to enjoy long before he met you; that sounds like a YOU problem. You’ve also created a dynamic where he has to hide his sexuality from you and “sneak a peek” at something that gets him off, and you’ve embarrassed him enough that he feels he has to lie about it now. That’s terrible. Are you going to tell him that he can’t masturbate next? Is every single erection he will ever get supposed to be ONLY because he’s next to you? Is he allowed to fantasize, or do you feel the need to control that, too? Has it ever occurred to you that you’re pretty lucky that he’s getting turned on and coming to you for help resolving that instead hitting a strip club, a sex worker or worst, a “side chick”?
What you have is a seemingly faithful guy who is in a tough position of liking what he likes but in a relationship with someone who is seeking to control his outlet for it. A man’s sex drive doesn’t last forever in many/most cases, so I’d try to enjoy his “performance years” while you have them and stop shaming him for his interests.
You also might want to get to the root cause of why YOU have such a problem with porn that you’ve made someone’s interest in it something about a reflection upon “you”. If there’s ANY reason to reconsider this marriage, it might simply be that you are energetically and sexuality incompatible. While there IS such a thing as a porn addiction, it’s hard to tell if that’s what’s going on here or if he’s just reacting to being told (as a grown adult man) what he can and cannot watch like someone who has been locked out of the parental controls on the TV. #smh
You might want to work this out in therapy BEFORE you tie that knot. There’s A LOT more going on here than just “porn”.
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Can you stop making up shit. Don’t need this negativity. You’ve posted loads of Dear Martha please help posts!! Sick of them
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Thats why i watch my porn on an incognito tab 🤦
Can’t say nothing, I like everyone comments. Me and my hubby don’t need it. We are both very creatived.
20 yrs. Married!
Well weird question what but it has a purpose…what kind of porn is he watching?
Both of Y’all are SICK. AND NEED JESUS
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He’s a man. Period. I don’t think I ever met a man who didn’t watch it. Just something you gotta get used to. Atleast he isn’t out with real women cheating.
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This sounds like a you problem. Nobody should change just to make YOU happy. He likes porn, most people do. Most people don’t have an issue if their man or woman watches it. It just so happens that you have a problem with it therefore if watching porn makes him hapot, don’t try to change him. Find someone who feels as you do
Women have amazing imaginations and can visualize their sexual fantasies in thier minds but men tend to be more external visualization orientated. He’s not watching it to make you feel insecure. He’s doing what we all do without admitting to it. Just having a sexual day dream. You I’m sure have them. Just breathe talk to him and say hey honey let’s do this. Ask him what he wants. Maybe there’s a specific porn video that’s his go to daydream. Nothing gets resolved without talking to your partner.
I am okay with him watching porn , he does it daily…it really doesnt bother me because he literally wants to do it every day twice a day … Anytime I can get some time off, Im okay with it. Guys are super sexual…and if a little porn helps them with the urge…its okay with me…
In other words you have been living with this self serving gentleman for five years and a wedding date, venu, dress, invitations etc have not been ordered, booked, nor a deposit has been give. Oh and the ring, has the engagemeng ring bern purchased or are you just planning to use your promise ring.
I think this gentleman has an addiction and it is not easy, as in any addiction, to stop on his own.
You have two choice, live with it and keep the door locked at all time.
He needs to see a therapist who deals in sexual addictions. These addictions in some cases can involve incarcerations.
If he has to watch porn to be excited to have sex with you then maybe this is not the right relationship. Thats where the insecurity part comes from. Honestly if my sex life was non existent and my fiance watched porn and right after wanted sex and thats the only time he wanted to have sex with me I would be wondering “are you fantasizing im that porn star?” So he would be having sex with me wishing/imagining I was someone else. Yea that would fucking hurt obviously and make me feel very insecure in how I look and how I feel about porn. I 100% get that, but because we do have a sex life and he reminds me everyday how beautiful I am and tells me im sexy thats where the confidence is. Does he watch porn? absolutely? do I mind? Not at all, and he certainly doesn’t hide it. He doesn’t make me feel insecure about myself, he reassures me everyday about myself and we have a good sex life. I feel like most women who do have an issue with it, it is because they compare themselves and you always wonder whats in their heads, but when you have a partner who reassures you and compliments you every day and makes you feel good about yourself, the porn doesn’t bother you. 
Porn addiction is real and you expressing your boundary and he is disrespecting it.
Porn can and does lead to other addictions.
Y’all air out waaaaaaay too much dirty laundry on fb 
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Grow up stop crying if you got that big of a issue with it let him go find some body who’s not a baby. Let him do it he’s not at a bar or sleeping with a hoe next door. It’s freaking Porn now move along.
She says she’s fine if he watches it with her but then she says she’s expressed how insecure it makes her when they did watch it together…question does anything make u happy no wonder he lies about it. Expect neg comments btw you asked a question online fb of all places don’t expect rainbows from every mouth
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Lol 
it’s not normal it being living being… Instead of looking at it in a bag light
. Why don’t you try to make your own or dress up or RP… Their many ways now days to have open safe discussion about how you both feel sexually…
And maybe tell him to make you feel sexier…
ITs NoRmAl If hE WaTcHeS iT girls stf:sweat_smile: i want to know how men convinced yall it was okay to watch other women naked and get hard ons for em get the fuck outa here 
What’s wrong with him watching porn
You seem really insecure and that’s honestly not his issue that’s something you have to work on yourself and stop projecting on to him…
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Wow, I’m actually quite shocked at some of the answers here. How is his addiction a reflection of her insecurities?
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He’s got a problem. It’s very common but seek professional help before it gets any later believe me it will get bad and you will really be unhappy. Seek professional help. Seek professional help! U won’t regret it.
Wow. Sometimes I wonder if these are even real questions from real people 
Lets be honest here, If he’s watching it while you’re away because he wants to jerk off and get off then so be it. If he’s watching it to get aroused before trying to have sex with you, then I’d probably question it. But everyone watches porn, right? I mean, you want him to watch it with you but then at the same time you’re telling him it makes you feel insecure when he’s watching it right next to you, I don’t know how that makes sense. You don’t want to start projecting all your insecurities onto him. That never ends well. I’m shocked at all the “dump him” comments, over porn? Really people? Y’all are too much. Give the man some privacy. If you feel like he’s hiding to watch porn, tell him you’d rather have sex or get him off before he has to do it on his own, maybe that will make him want you more and the videos less. 
Sorry but if you’ve expressed how you feel and he still won’t stop 100 percent it’s ultimatum time, I say leave if he doesn’t get help girl, you’re too good for that
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Lack of care and respect for your feelings on the matter, doing it behind your back, that all sounds like disrespect to me
Time to go
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I’ve had almost the sam problem with my husband. I just think porn is unrealistic. It makes him think I can do these things these porn stars are doing but they do this for a living. It just has unrealistic standards for regular people. If he can’t stop watching it & you’ve voiced how you felt it may be an addiction.
That seems super excessive and abnormal. I wouldn’t be okay with it and I consider myself to be pretty chill lol.
Porn is a form of adultery. He’s cheating on you with you watching or not. Talk to him. If he stops, great. If he doesn’t, leave.
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He needs counseling,is all I am saying,been in that situation and it is not nothing believe me
I don’t think it’s any different than you reading a steamy romance novel. Sex for men is a physical thing more than emotional one. That isn’t to say he doesn’t love you, he just gets excited watching sex. The fact that it makes him hot for you is a good thing! It means he thinking about you when he gets hot and bothered. He’s not out looking for someone else. My husband watches porn and he’s never cheated. He also loves me to pieces.
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Porn is fake! What’s wrong with loving touch leading to good sex? I have been there and porn turns me off!!!
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I’m not the person to ask about this because I have zero problem with my partner watching porn. As long I’m still getting sex from them, I don’t care.
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I have been down this road, if they are watching porn or using excuses…there is more going on than you think. …
Mercy girl! It obviously bothers you a great deal, ditch him and start a new life with you as the star!!
Tell him it’s no longer excepted in your relationship
I’m tired of hearing it’s a man thing.
It’s not a man thing, it’s a sin thing.
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It is disgusting and an exploitation of women
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To the curb. No respect.