Is 4 yrs old too young to get up and watch tv for about a hour by herself?I work as a special needs school bus driver. I leave my 4 yr old daughter home with my husband during my morning run. My husband works 2nd shift and doesn’t go to bed much before 5:00-6:00am. The last week I have been getting home about 8:30am to find my daughter either watching tv alone or coming to the door to greet me. She still sleeps in our room and we have told her to wake Daddy up before she leaves the bedroom but she doesn’t. My husband thinks I should keep her up until 10:30-11:00pm so she will sleep later. She just started afternoon preschool today so I could but I want her to have a normal schedule and I also want to have 1-2 hrs at night to do the housework/watch a tv show/relax after she goes to bed. My husband only sees her for 2 hrs a day from 11:30am when he gets up to 1:30pm when I leave to do my afternoon bus run and take her with me. Is it too much to ask that he gets up with her until I get home? Or is she ok for that 1hr to be up by herself?
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Depends on if they get into stuff or not my kiddos have been getting up about that time and watch TV
Honestly I feel like It’s a no… 4 years old is still so young& so much can happen in that hour… it’s always better to be safe than sorry, I would just talk to your husband & tell him, he needs to get up for that hour. & maybe set extra alarms for him on his phone, so he has to get up with her… hope you get the answers your looking for💜
Uh no it’s not a lot that he wakes up to watch her. The fact that she greets you at the door would worry me who’s to say one day someone knocks he’s asleep your working she opens the door and someone takes her. I think four is still pretty young to be left like that.
She’s 4 like what your expectations are too high for her age.
As long as she isn’t getting into stuff. Most definitely have a serious discussion about the stove and not opening any doors or going outside. I see nothing wrong with turning on the TV and watching.
I have a severely autistic 9yo and a 2 yo. They both wake up before me usually. They get themselves cereal and watch morning cartoons. I don’t think it’s bad unless there is something dangerous left out for her to get into or if she can easily get outside by herself…
No she’s not old enough but he needs sleep. If you take her in the afternoon take her in the morning
She’s 4. Basically still a baby. She isn’t old enough to understand and process most dangers……
Much too young, what is stopping her from opening the door for anyone and/or just wandering off. He needs to wake up until you get home or you need to adjust your running schedule.
My son who 5 will get up n I’ll lay down still n sleep and he will stay in the room until he needs something then he will wake me.
4 is still a bit young to be up and about without supervision. Maybe dad could go lay down on the couch with her and watch TV while waiting for you to come home?
Even in a kid friendly home I’d be really worried she’d get out of the house.
My son was fine waking up alone at that age. He always woke me if he needed me. I had a drawer in the fridge for easy snacks for him. It depends on the child though. Every kid has different needs and independence levels
If ur house is safe yes… put food she can have when she wakes up lower so she can reach if he hungry let her work the tv n toys my kids are 4,5,9 they all good in their house
She’s still a baby and she can get curious and get into things that can hurt her. I would say, put a TV in your room and tell her if she leaves the room she has to tell her dad.
My oldest will be 4 on the 23rd. We took her safety lock off her doorknob a couple months ago and she figured out what she can and can’t do to get up and get into things without waking me up. I would say it’s definitely not safe. We ended up putting the safety lock back on her doorknob until we find something better however letting her watch Disney on my tablet in our bed was a decent option as well. Maybe you can make a compromise like that? The broken sleep for dad would suck and I fully understand that but ultimately being left alone to roam the house definitely isn’t safe.
Watching tv by herself it’s not a big deal , but the greeting you at the door is , try to change the lock for one that have to be open / close with a key .
And make sure to put a snack (maybe ) where she can see it in case she is a little hungry so she doesn’t get into anything trying to get something to eat
If you have to ask…. You already know.
My daughter just turned 4, she’s been up by herself for about an hour on our days off since she was 3.5. I try to make sure that all the dangers are taken care of the night before. We’ve had a couple conversations about how certain things we don’t touch or get into and she understands. She watches a show great while my partner and I rest.
Your husband is disgusting. You think that he should get out of his responsibility for your child?
Accidents happen… what if she started choking?
My son who is 4 wakes up before I do sometimes and he sits in his room and watches tv until I get up. If he wakes up hungry he will usually wake me up or he’ll go grab himself something that doesn’t need to be cooked.
Although I agree 4 is still young, some 4 year olds are a bit more mature and independent. I have had people tell me before they thought my 4 year old was older due to the way he acts and approaches things.
He knows what he is allowed to touch and what he is not allowed to touch. He knows he is not allowed to answer the door unless me or his dad are there with him and allow him to open the door. We have a glass door so he can see if he knows the person before opening but we still want him to know that even if it’s a family member or someone he knows he has to wait for us to be right with him.
What time does he get home from work? I don’t understand why he is up until 5 or 6am?
She’s not old enough to be awake alone by herself. Have her lay with you & let her watch cartoons. You can at least lay there to relax & not fall asleep
Can she turn on the TV? Peel a banana?
Is the door secure? Is she a curious kid?
If she’s ok with all of this I’d be ok with it. Dads just in the bedroom, I’d just leave your bedroom door open, he’ll wake up if something goes on. Plenty of parents have kids who wake super early and occupy themselves in the morning.
As long as the house is safe. My daughter would be by herself in the morning for an hour or so on the weekends while I slept. She has her own drawer in the kitchen & in the fridge for her food & snacks & she would turn the tv on by herself. I’d get up & she’d be snacking & coloring lol. As long as she knows not to mess w the stove, knives & scissors are out of reach, etc & she’s not being ignored (ie trying to wake up dad & he won’t get up) I don’t see the issue. She’s 6 now & still is content w this.
When I was 5 I was walking to school by myself but that was then and this is now. The child is fine.
I think it depends on the child. When my boys were 4 I’d say maybe not but my daughter at 4 I would say definitely. As long as she is safe and knows the rules of not leaving the house or what she shouldn’t get into, I think it’s fine.
I would tell her she has to stay in the room with dad and watch tv until I get home. Good luck with that.
I would not let her greet you that could be unsafe. Instead make sure she waits until you’re inside. Otherwise I don’t see much issue really as my eldest was able to make her own breakfast and sit down and watch tv on her own. She knew what she was and wasn’t allowed to do etc. It also depends on the child to. But I’d try see if he could at least stay up that little bit longer
If ur worried about her set up a camera in your house where you can see her talk to her or whatever it may be before you get home
What hours does he work? Does he sleep late because he works 12s and doesn’t get put till late (3.30) or because he chooses to stay up late? If it’s the 2nd then he should sleep earlier. If he works all those hours then you guys definitely need to work something out. I work 3rd, my partner works 1st. When our 2u2 are up, we’re up. Some days I only sleep 2 hours a day, but it is what it is, my kids my responsibility.
A 4 year old can get into a lot of stuff in an hour. Just saying.
Personally, I think she is too young. Any situation could arise at any moment, stranger at door, her choking, fire. She is not old enough to handle these situations alone
I guess depends on the kid. My son is 4 and weekends he wakes up and watches TV and I wake up finding him there. I am never worried as I know he just watches TV and if he wants something he would come in our room to ask
I work second but my hours are 4-230 and I can’t fall asleep til 4 maybe that is the case
It’s blatantly obvious 4yrs old is far too young for that. Jfc
I used to work graves and wouldn’t get home until 7am and slept until probably noon or 1… my girl is a late sleeper so she wasn’t up until 10 or so anyways but whenever she did wake up she’d wake me up to watch cartoons so I’d turn them on in our room and go back to sleep and she would watch tv/ play with her stuff in the room until I woke up… sometimes she’d ask for breakfast so I’d get her food before I laid back down… I think it’s fine if it’s a safe environment
I have a top safety lock to ensure my son doesn’t get out, but my kid wakes up before us. He knows how to work the tv and usually grabs and applesauce or a yogurt… I usually up a little after him. But he lets us know he’s up. He knows what he can and can’t get into and we haven’t had any issues. He just turned 4. Make sure there’s a lock on the door he can’t undo if you’re going to sleep. My house is also kid proof and he’s learned the boundaries. You know your kid… What does your gut say?
I would double key bolt lock your door to make sure she can’t open the door or get out the front door. What happens if someone knocks on the door and your husband is asleep and she runs to the door thinking it’s you???
I nap with my 4 year old up. He wakes me to open snacks, can get his own water, and will yell if he needs you to wipe his butt.
My son did this at 4. He would help himself to a cereal bar or fruit and sit and watch tv. This wasn’t our choice, we asked him to wake us up but he never did. The house was safe for him, we had plugs covered, locks on cupboards and would make sure the doors were locked. However, it does depend on the child. My son has always been very mature and very independent. He’s never been one for getting into things but we had locks as a precaution.
The real issue here though is if you don’t feel comfortable your child being left alone then your husband needs to respect that and be getting up and looking after your child till you get up x
Put a lock on your bedroom door if she’s in there with her dad when you’re at work, then she will stay with him.
Nah. I have an auto immune disease and sleep is important . My 4 year old would wake up turn the t.v. on for about an hour. I has a rule of she had to be on the bed with me and no eating
Maybe have her watch tv, color, play on a tablet etc in the bedroom with your husband while he sleeps for the hour?
My oldest would do this Sunday mornings. We are both home but from 3yrs she would get up, get her own breakfast and watch TV. She would come get us if she needed but was very self sufficient.
So it just depends on the kid
See if I need extra sleep, I come downstairs in the living room with my kids while they do what they want (within reason) and I catnap on the couch. I wouldn’t be asleep asleep with my single lone 4yr old running around. Now if you put your daughter in y’all’s bed while he slept with a tablet and a baby gate at the door so she can’t get out, I would be okay with her contained to the single room he’s in for an hour
Hook her up in the bedroom that dad is in with breakfast she can’t choke on easily a few toys and her fav cartoon…. I still do it
Sorry it’s a no from me
My 7 year old has been doing this since around 4. She’s quite responsible for her age though and will just sit with her teddy watching tv. Obviously there’s always risks with children but she never wakes me & is quite comfortable just having some time to herself. I am an early riser so whenever I do hear her/wake up I do get up. It should be ur decision if you think the child is responsible enough. No one here knows ur child to judge
Nah i wouldn’t personally.
Have you got a tv in your room. Maybe she can lay on the bed with him and watch while dad gets some ?
At lest that way you know shes safe in your room with her dad.
I know I would not trust my 4 year old down stairs by himself he’s wild if he could climb out true the letter box he would lol
It’s fine. My four year old wakes up before me & getting herself a snack & watching tv never hurt anyone. She’s quiet, we need sleep also. But my daughter is also on a schedule
He should be fixing his schedule then for his child it’s what parents do. I worked Night Shift got out 730am hurried to pick my kid up and had to wait till 2:30 pm everyday for a sitter before I could go to sleep. He needs to go to bed earlier second shift ends what around 11pm? Well he should sleep for a few hours and wake back up. He may need time to adjust but hey that’s what parents sign up for
My 3 year old does this. I’m awake in the next room and it’s fairly safe for him. He goes back and fourth to tell to me. But you know your child… and no one else’s opinion matters!
If she greets you at the door she can easily greet a stranger at the door
Bolt the bedroom. Make her stay in there with him while he is sleeping. Put crayons coloring books her movies on of leave the remote for her. Tbh when there is working parents in the picture you have to become smart and find ways to keep your children safe while getting adequate sleep for your jobs and time with her.
If it makes u feel better when I was 2-4 my mom always tells me stories how I’d get up at night and she’d get up for a drink of water and I’d be sitting at the kitchen table doing a puzzle or coloring… She always let me cause she said when I’d be done I’d put my stuff away and go back to sleep. (Still til this day I’m a night owl.) I thankfully have a 10 year old so when my 2 year old is in the other room with her I don’t feel so scared cause I know she comes and tells me anything. We also have a small house though. So I guess it depends on your house size too.
Depends how independent your kid is. You do need an emergency way to wake dad in case she needs help but an hour alone is good for kids to learn independence. Get them a breakfast snack station with some prefilled cups in fridge or juice boxes. I let my 2 yr old daughter stay up till 2am because it works for me. Do what works for you. As long as she is sleeping enough hours she is fine. I know some parents who have their kids on night shift hours.
No. He needs to step up as a parent and get up when she does
Way to young to be by herself
A 4 year old is too young to be expected to “get herself up”. I can’t believe I just typed those words.
She’s definitely too little to be roaming the house by herself, but y’all have work schedules that are going to need some work arounds. Make your room safe for her, put bottled water (no lids) and some safe snacks available, some toys and crayons and color books available, and put something on TV she can watch (bolt that TV and all furniture to the walls!) Find a way to keep her in the room with Dad…stacked baby gates, a knob protector she can’t open, something along those lines. It’s hard figuring out how to work things so everyone gets sleep, and everyone is safe, but you CAN do it. We have eight kids, and our work schedules have been all over the place through the years. I get where your coming from.
Why is he going to bed so late?
When I have my grandson he’s in my room, Mr I like to be awake at 6 in the morning for some ridiculous reason, I have a lock on my door so he can’t get out, he has water, snacks, the TV, and his games until I’m up. He’s 5 now and I’ve done this since he figured out how to get out of his crib.
It sounds like she’s been ok. You know your daughter best. However, if you are going to try and consider this idea. I would highly recommend a camera! It’ll give you notifications you can hear when motion is detected. You can watch it live stream at any point. It sounds like it’ll help ease your worry.
Nope absolutely not.He needs to get up and watch her.Shes 4 yrs old.She opens the door you said no unacceptable.Not safe at all.
My son has always woken before me.
Just have breakfast out and quiet things for her to do.
You can also get an ok wake clock, it stays red which means stay in room…turns green when it’s reasonable.time to get up.
Yes that’s too young.
Mum of 7 and they all started being independent with getting up around 4 They’d watch TV or play with some toys. I find it strange 4 is too young to wake up and watch TV in their own home but at 5 old enough to be dropped off in a place with Hundreds of strangers to go to school.
If you have to ask a Facebook group, your child isn’t ready. If your child was independent enough to do it, you wouldn’t have to ask.
Get a Tapo cam you can talk to her through it and get notifications watch also has a blaring siren in the event of a hazard or danger you can set it off and it will wake significant other up.
As above leave food & drinks available for her ￼ xxx
Definitely too young to be self sufficient… Im sure she is more than happy to watch tv in the mean time but damn, anything can happen… Husband needs to step up and lose a couple hours sleep to watch her… As for the going to bed later, so she can sleep in longer (doesn’t work that way) Sorry she doesn’t fit in to Daddies sleeping schedule but he gotta put her safety FIRST…
Second shift usually ends at 11 pm or so. Why does he go to bed at 5-6 am ? As an adult with a child that’s ridiculous honestly and very irresponsible. He should be going to bed earlier and waking up with his child. If he is still tired then he can nap before work when you arrive back home or with the child if he sets up a nap schedule.
Nope. Should not be left alone unsupervised. He needs to go to bed earlier to wake up with her. I’ve worked 2nd shift a lot and never have I went to bed at 5-6am the next day. Unless I was partying
Yeah she should be ok to cook breakfast aswell
Children should never be left unattended. Someone should always be there to monitor their activities when they’re this young they don’t understand the safety concept
I personally wouldn’t be comfortable with it. 4 year olds need supervision.
Maybe it would be worth your partner spending the 2 hours with her before going to sleep and going to bed at 830am when you get home? He would be getting the same amount of sleep… and your daughter would be safer.
I’m assuming your husband’s shift is like it is at my Husband’s work. They don’t get off from second shift until between 1-3 in the morning.
BUT it isn’t okay that he’s asleep while she’s roaming the house. He needs to have an alarm set to get up when she does and then he can go back to sleep when you get home.
Now my almost 3yr old wakes up before me(about 30 mins before he wakes me) but he knows to stay in my room and he doesn’t leave. He waits until I’m up
What it really sounds like is that you want people to tell you that he needs to get up with her, all your are doing is gonna get more upset because a bunch of strangers told you that your husband needs to get up and spend more time with her. Everyone’s homes are different if you feel that uncomfortable about her waking up that early install a camera.
She absolutely needs a normal schedule. Don’t change that or she’ll be tired for school. But he absolutely needs to sleep after work. At four for one hour I find her okay to sit and watch tv sitting in yalls bed next to him. Not a different room. Prep cereal in a baggie even. Make sure she understands not to go to the door over and over. She’s young so it’ll take some reminding a lot.
My son is a early riser (5.30-6.30) and I am not, especially at the moment being heavily pregnant, when he comes in to me in the morning I give him my phone on YouTube kids and he chills out watching that and I go back to sleep for a bit, he knows to stay in bed and to wake me if he needs anything, he’s perfectly content doing this and enjoys his morning snuggles and getting to have mummy’s phone, would this be an option for your husband and daughter?
I did the same job for 15 years . I took my son with me when he grew up I had a daughter and I always took her with me too.
So I work 2nd shift. 6:30pm-6:30am we have 2-12 hr shifts. There’s days I only get 2 hrs of sleep because of my kids and their 12,13,17. But they have school activity’s, take to school &,pickup for the younger two, practice pickup, etc. your still a parent-you make sacrifices. Men get spoiled easily. Tell him to suck it up otherwise you need to suck it up and keep her up. One of you two are going to sacrifice for the safety of your child plain & simple
My ex used to work nights they can’t help falling asleep, it is unreasonable to expect him to stay up
you need to take her with you or leave her with someone else
You say a normal schedule but it doesn’t have to be like Joe Shmoe on this post. Whatever “Normal” works for you is a normal schedule. If she is in afternoon preschool what does it hurt for her to stay up a few more hours? YOU make your normal, not everyone on the internet
She’s fine. HE needs to set her up before he goes to sleep. Lay out a snack, put a show on and block the door so she has to stay in the room with him. Then he can kink out.
It depends on your child completely. I have a 3 and 4yr old and have np qualms about letting them watch TV while I doze in the room next to them. I know that of they needed something, they would wake me… but my niece who is the same age…nope, uh uh, no way. If she doesn’t have eyes on her supervision, she will draw on things, she’ll burn the house down somehow, she would cause havoc. It totally depends on your kid as an individual, what you have taught them and how they are
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I used to do this all time and turn TV on at
This age never woke my dad or mum
Mmm. It’s not a 4 year olds responsibility to wake her parent up. He’s her dad. He should either be up with her or you need someone to be there with her for the time that he is sleeping. Sorry but working a night shift isn’t a valid excuse for the dangers that can happen when a child is unsupervised.
It really depends on the child. I did something similar with my older two kids. My youngest would never have been able to handle it; luckily, circumstances changed by the time I had her. If things aren’t broke, I wouldn’t try to fix them. Good luck!
Block the bedroom doorway with a baby gate when u leave in the morning so she at least can’t leave that room
Um… I’m sorry - why can’t she come with you in the morning?
My husband and I both work 12 hour shifts every other weekend. We installed an indoor Nest camera so I can keep an eye on my 10 year old son until his teenage sister wakes up to be with him.
He needs to get up with her. Maybe nap on the couch but needs to be there
It’s o.k. for her to be up for a bit til you get home. Keep her bedtime routine the same.
All of my kids usually wake up early morning I have them snuggles with me with warm milk and breakfast cereals and couple shows or movies mostly they fall back to sleep after one show or movie. When I was pregnant with second and third and fourth. Kids are with me either the living room or my bedroom they rather my bedroom because so cozy and comfy bed have breakfast in bed is the best moments to have. I would have breakfast with them in bed and go back to sleep for my morning naps I feel great.
My girls are 7 and 8, they have been getting up before me since they were about 4. I used to just go lay on the couch and nap while they watched TV. That way I could still feel them get up or hear what they are doing. Maybe he could just sleep on the couch for a bit so she can still watch TV?
My 4yr old gets up before me sometimes and he will come to my room and watch my phone till I wake up or he sits in the living room with it I wouldn’t change her bed time just cause he wants to sleep I understand he works late but he need to also help you out in the morning if you don’t think it is safe for her then I’d take her with you in the mornings she can always sleep or watch your phone maybe while you are working…