Lock them in high chairs
Lock yourself in a room (one room) with them. Make sure it is a YES space where they can just play and not get into trouble for touching things or getting into things or climbing on things.
Sit down on the floor and talk to them, read, play nice with them. Lots of snuggles and praise. It will get better (in 2 years😬)
I have a toddler son myself and I do the same thing and he acts the same way as your boys wont listen gets into everything and drives me absolute nuts o I dont have much to say except just gotta keep on him i sound like a broken record too telling my son all this stuff over and over again and he will be 2 in october acting every bit of it too
Don’t be hard on yourself. I had the same problem with my now 9 year old. His Sunday school teacher asked me, when I cried about how hard it was, what did he eat lately and how much sleep did he have? Most of the time, making sure the food happens before a tantrum happens is good. Keep those goldfish handy.
Mine had to sit on the step together until they were quiet and could tell me why they were sent there and how we could not have it happen again. The little guy that is almost 2 won’t really grasp it but the 3 year old will. If they are fighting over a toy? No body gets it. Put the toy in a time out corner for 2 sleeps. Make sure they can see it but don’t let them have it.
Reward good behavior, sticker charts with a small prize at the end. Bad behavior stick with what works best. But once you emphasize the good behavior, they will want to hopefully be good.
Honestly I have 6 kids. It’s the age. However, I did 1-2-3 magic time out to their room for whatever age they were that many minutes and did not give them attention. When they were really good I praised them . Enjoy your babies my youngest is 15😩 I miss those days❤️
Maybe instead of focusing on their behavior, (since you feel like a bit of a broken record) focus on some Mommy time. Like, a Mommy time out. Some Mommy self care. Even just 30 minutes of silence a day can be so refreshing. Then step back in and feel recharged for all the crazy. Possibly with a fresh iced coffee in hand. Just an idea.
I think maybe take care of you. See if you can get some time for yourself. They will out grown it. But keep consistent. It gets better
I feel ya! 100% mines 12 and its still like that daily. I have no help to offer but my sympathy, love and wishes for a speedy solution that works.
Rewards. Take them away when naughty, go over board with praise when they behave and reward them! They will see their siblings behavior too
I find that showing what behavior you want them to display and what makes you happy.
It is a stage they are going through and learning so be careful of your behavior. Just try a few things and see what works for you. All children are different
Look up ABCs of behavior change. There’s a book about methods to change the behavior of older children and adolescents with behavioral problems, however, the methods can also be used with toddlers. It’s mostly about using observation and problem solving to find what works with each child (as not every solution is a one-size-fits-all). Good luck, and hang in there mama!
Sit down with them and talk to them like little adults. Screaming and yelling will not help. Kids like to feel needed and helpful. Trust me. I did that with my kids and I never had them act out of place since they were babies. Give them chores and make sure to give them a prize. Like a sticker. Doesn’t matter how old they are. If you award a child with positive behavior and treat them like lil adults u will get results. Have them help u with ur daily chores and u sill see how they start to act right. Be loving to them and always thank them for their help. Try to have set nap times too for them. Play frank sinatra as a routine when u clean. It relaxes them as well. Children are smarter than we think. Make reading time fun and ask questions so they start analyzing things at a young age.
Maybe an early letter from Santa??? Letting them know that he is disappointed with their behavior, and Santa would be very sad if he didn’t get to visit and eat the delicious cookies?
Consistency and follow through with punishment every single time! They need to know that you mean what you say! If you just threaten without follow through they will continue to act up
Pick a consequence for bad behaviour and stick to it don’t try this and that lay down the rules lay down the consequences stick to them they will learn but you must be consistent
Take it easy on yourself. Three under three would make even Mary Poppins feel insane. Keep your rules in place. Separate the two oldest when they misbehave. You have to be consistent and not bend, because you lose authority. I notice wild changes with my son when his eating wasn’t consistent. I literally send snacks to school for him because he requires a consistent sugar level otherwise he goes nutty and isn’t nice. Taking away their special toy can help when correcting them if needed. Also, if you can get them to nap, nap yourself. Good luck.
When you give your children time out. Ask
them why you why you put them there and what should they do to prevent it in the future. Also make behavior charts have them pick their own stickers and at the end of the week they get to pick a prize or something special to do. I used it with my kids , and it worked with the five year olds in my
kindergarten kids where I work.
Kids being kids luv mine are the same way im always having to tell them over and over again to listen or behave and move on to consequences but they still continue to do the same, they are toddlers and yes they pack a bunch of energy and love to run, scream and play …just have patience and sometimes when you put them in their room take that time to catch a break to recharge yourself by resting
Consistency is the main thing, do what you say and they will learn you mean business.
Spank their ass so many parents dont believe in this anymore think its cruel. I spanked my now 16 yr old and my 3 yr old it works they dont act up hardly ever do to they dont want spanked. I just spanked my 16 yr old for mouthing off to me in my face he shut up and it took care of the problem. I dont need lectures from anyone on how mean I am or how bad of a parent I am. That’s what’s wrong with people these days they weren’t spanked
Oh my terrible twos and horrible threes hang in there Mom you’ll survive I raise 5 all one year apart so please I know what you’re going through now but all mine turned out pretty good so hang in there Mom you’re doing great
Things started getting better when my kid turned 4 as far as listening, but we also took all of her stuff away and put it in trashbags for a couple of days
Reduce tv or iPad. Talk to them or read books play with them… not going to be perfect. If your house is a mess just do what you can and can’t do. I have 3 boys I usually clean at night when everyone is sleep. I have 9, 7, and 1. Stick to the rules so you can build a consistent.
I’m old fashioned so no means no and I’m the boss. With that said consequence depends on the action, take away toys, bed time, and over the knee spank that butt. I never had time for time out today my grown kids listen cuz I will still snatch a kid up and spank that butt 8 or 18 don’t care.
Let me add… While you do this, also practice self-care to keep your stress level down so that you can stand firm and not give in until they change their behavior and start listening
Typical toddler behavior. I say 3’s are worse than terrible two’s. Keep a firm schedule, naps are important for your sanity, follow through on your consequences and wear the out.
Try not to acknowledge every little thing they do. Divert their attention when you know they are going to play up. Acknowledge positive behaviour. Having a routine will also help you too. Finally avoid doing any other tasks or chores. The boys will play up when they know you are busy cooking ironing etc… if it means doing everything when they are in bed and this way you can give your full attention to them.
Make sure they’re each getting at least 20 minutes of your undivided attention each day. I have three under three as well plus a 9 year old so I know it’s tough, but mine do this when they don’t get that and/or need some extra love.
Oh yes, the toddler years! It passes, but when it’s happening it seems never ending. For the melt downs, 99% of them were ignored and they stopped after a while. I am still a broken record though. I once told my boys to legit fight it out. To go outside, in the yard and fight and be done. They were older though. You can try taking things away, and they earn them back, not just days without but actually earning it. Have a “point” system and offer a reward for who was less naughty. Give them simple chores to keep them busy. But siblings, no matter what, are going to fuss, fight, and argue.
Watch super nanny put them in the time out spot and keep with it they will get it keep calm your an awesome mom terrible 2s is not just 2 years
Sometimes it’s about being consistent and fair. You’re doing that. Since the kids are very young, you are going to be repeating the same rules over and over. You’re modeling the right behavior. Maybe you can add some form of reward. My daughter used to get stickers for doing the things she should. At the end of the day, maybe a small reward would be nice.
Have faith. Consistency is important in discipline, can’t say no to it one day and ok the the next. Talking very quietly worked for me (whispering into an ear in public) they can’t hear you and quiet down enough to listen, especially when you’re holding their little head firmly but gently in your grasp looking into their eyes. My boys would look at me puzzled like “what did you say?” and I would continue to speak in a soft even tone. Somehow it diffused the moment. I usually would say things like “you know you don’t get your way when you scream or are mean” (or whatever) just using an even tone of voice. They hated having me whisper in their ear, especially in public when I’d say “when we are not in public, I will discipline you for _________, stop squirming or it will be worse” No one is perfect, we learn as we go, just try not to holler at them, it accomplishes nothing.
We all have this issue ,I feed my grandchildren all day long seems to keep them settled they all seem to push boundaries , remove every thing and just give same thing to each , avoids the yelling and fights from them and you and you be at hand supervisor it hard but may work better for you
What ever you choose as a positive punishment, just always follow through and don’t give in. They will know it doesn’t matter you’ll cave in every time. Do make sure you talk to them after a time out and withdraw of toys that is a positive reinforcement that they understand believe it not. They are human and will continue behavior good or bad if an explanation is given of why. They thrive on learning and fun and it makes life a lot easier when communication is open and honest. I have spanked my kids after a 3 count and the lesson is lost if a explanation is not given. They’re smarter than you think. Just always remember they’re still just kids learning right from wrong
Unfortunately the ages they are in is 1 of the most difficult. They are testing their boundaries. Consistency is all I can add to any of these. 1 thing my mom told me was don’t discipline while angry. Place them on time out and while they are on time out u take the same time to decompress. Then exercise a punishment that fits the crime i.e. If they are fighting they have to spend a specific amount of time away from each other or if the room isn’t clean due to toys everywhere bag them up and they don’t get them back for a specific about of time. A couple hours is usually plenty for their age. But be consistent. Make sure u explain y they are getting punished. It takes time but for the most part it works
Terrible twos and threes. They live their momma and want undivided attention sometimes. Maybe a day with one at a time would help so you get that one in one. And the other one maybe with grandma or other family friend. It could a walk to the park or a nice bike ride or out to McDonald’s or simply playing a game . Kids like to play with each other but also set a time for each of them and play with them together too. Hope it helps. I had 5 daughters. But 2 of my daughters have children hope this helps and if the father is around that would be good too. Take care they are only this little for an instant. You will see! Just not now lol
I made mine sit on their hands on the couch and if they said a single word I told them id throw their toys away. And when they act up and don’t listen I throw their toys into a Box which I hide in the closet then in a month or 2 they think they’re brand new toys. Lol
It helps me to take it one behavior at a time, sometimes smaller doable steps can make it easier to eventually get the result you want. Look for patterns and address one at a time. One of my kids does not respond to rewards or consequences- she just doesn’t seem capable of applying that knowledge to the next time so we trouble shoot ways to avoid the misbehavior in other ways. For example she hates being buckled in her carseat and throws huge fits or refuses to buckle, so we now sing a silly buckling song, race to see if we can beat sister in buckling and have a magnadoodle in the car that she can only use once buckled.
Don’t stress out. Until about 5 you may as well make a recording and just hit replay all day. Sometimes giving them a small task will distract them. But boys like to test the limits. You are doing great. Believe it or not these days will pass and one day you will miss them. I have 4 boys ages 30, 25, 23 and 11
Those ages are fun. They are learning so much and inquizative. Having one at that age is a handful. I as well had kids close in age. The only advise I can give is to schedule everything! As hard as it can be don’t break from it. If something comes up where it cannot be helped. Do your best to get back to the schedule as quickly as possible. It will not calm them immediately, but once they know the routine. They will get better. Sending positive thoughts and hope it helps.
I understand sweetie, I put my grandson in family Martial Arts it really has made a difference… Because my grands also has ADHD…
Keep them engaged with hands on activities. Finger painting, sidewalk chalk, splash pool if possible. Make sure too that they are getting enough sleep . Over tiredness can affect behavior and a sticker chart for the three year old every time he does some thing good and ignoring bad behavior if it’s motivated by attention seeking go a long way, unless he is doing something that’s dangerous or hurting his brother
Try a reward program based off of good behavior instead of focusing on bad behavior. Sticker charts work great at these ages. For my kids I did a punch card. 10 punches earned a dollar in their jar, and then they can purchase an item they want.
Sounds like you are doing awesome. Consistency is best. Just keep consistent in your expectations and punishments and eventually they will get it.
So I can tell you from experience because I’ve had five children the charts when you’re busy are very hard to maintain but you can always do play money in a piggy bank and at the end of the week they can pick from a toy chest with the coins that they have collected it can be real money or play money whatever you choose we are actually potty training my daughter using real coins in her little piggy bank whatever we have available in our pockets or purses
Seriously- I had twin daughters and within 25 months a son. My one daughter was being exceptionally naughty one day. She was about 26 months old. It took me 2 hours of 2 minute time outs for her to apologize. Let’s just say probably the best 2 hours spent parenting. The other daughter was watching. Any time an apology was needed afterwards it came quickly. Stay firm - I work at a school and see what happens when you don’t
Repeat after me, toddlers are terrorists.
Also, I was big on taking away things being fought over. If you can’t play with it together then no one can play. It didn’t always work but it helped some. Sometimes the crying and the ridiculousness is just over the top. Toddlers have lots of big feelings. I never had 3 under 3 24/7 but the 9-10 hours a day I rolled with that was exhausting! Survival mode, if everyone is alive at the end of the day job done.
You’re doing great! This is normal for their ages. Keep it up and as they get older, it will all figure itself out! Take time for you too when you can!
i take thinga away for mine.my 5yr old been having behavior problems specifically at bed time n ill take her fav toy away the next day n if shes good at night n goes bed no issues she gets it back. we just camr back from a walk n her n her 2.5yr old brother were aweful, no poo or juice. they get water to drink. milk at dinner. no snacks unless its a fruit we have
Things will click with them just keep being consistent. It’s normal behavior for little ones to be from a different planet (and I say that with kindness). I work in a preschool and it is normal that I repeat the same rules and the same expectations over and over and over. You definitely have your hands full right now…stay cool, stay consistent, and look at this stage with a sense of humor and know that it is temporary.
I’m not judging…my daughter’s 11yrs old. At age 5 she was diagnosed with ODD…Oppositional Defiant Disorder. I googled it & exactly what it describes, it’s exactly how my daughter behaves. She’s been attending a District 75 schl since Kindergarten n believe me, she’s improved drastically. So my point is…is it possible one of ur kids might need to see a developmental/behavioral pediatrician
I tell my children how disappointed I am. “I love you very much and your behavior is making my heart sad.” Not a guilt trip, just the truth. “When you throw things and Mommy asks you to stop and your attitude continues, it makes me feel…”. The sooner they learn what emotions mean, the sooner they can understand WHY we don’t do certain things.
I wish there was a quick and easy solution. You’ve got this.
Stop rewarding them for bad behavior. No tv, no video games no fun. My boys are 4 years difference- it does get better if you stay stern. Where’s Dad? He needs to let them know how to treat a women.
A dads perspective on the topic. I have a 10 year old step son, a 4 year old son and a newborn daughter. I couldn’t imagine having all of them so close together. Your a champ. My best recommendation is to set a common standard and hold them all to it. That said dont sweat the little things. Sometimes its OK to ignore things. Also make punishing visible to all of them. When I discipline one kid I make sure the other sees it happen. Personally I have found spanking to be effective, but standing in the corner is for some reason the best tool in my punishment tool box. They HATE standing in the corner. Hope this helps
what do you do for activities? lots of littles act up out of boredom. when outside playing trying so something with the play that makes them think as well. like make little obstacles for them to do that requires age appropriate climbing, jumping, crawling. play Simon says, duck duck goose, green light red light ect. I use to do color time…this was always fun for my boys and kept busy so I could sit a min. I would put shorts on, give them markers and let them color my legs and arms. when they were really bad they went to bed early. I also took away tv time. if the morning was rough they had to lay down for a nap. also try to find something positive and compliment them on that. like wow that was nice of you to share your truck with your brother.
As a mom of two boys, I can tell you it never gets easier. They will always fight. No. Matter. What. Just accept it now and buy a lot of liquor. Cheers!
Get the book 123 magic… my boys are older… but this book was recommend by our pediatrician and it helps.
Have you tried the 123 method? It’s the only thing that worked for my son. And when he was 7 he got diagnosed with ADHD. So maybe they have that too.?
When my kids won’t stop bickering and fighting there are consequences. Depending on what was said, done or not done there is a different consequence. Main one is standing with nose on the corner for 2 minutes regardless of age (advised by behavioral therapist we work with for the time) also the timer can’t stand if the child is whining, crying or acting out.
In my opinion a select few words and statements require a smack on the mouth or bottom (lightly obviously but firm enough to catch the child’s attention). Before implenting that part I lead by example and interrupt of the child is being rude or demanding and find out why and help give the child the words needed to help out in the circumstance. Also it is good to give siblings a break from each other. Sometimes what is needed is space and teaching children that that have a spot of their own that other siblings aren’t allowed to pester them. My oldest will take her tablet on to her bed (top bunk) and watch or play on her tablet by herself to get some alone time. She let’s is know when she needs it so we can help enforce the boundary of her needing space.
i think in that age it will now going to be ok.toddler in that age is so hyoer i have only one son in that age also drive me crazy and its normal he is just equivalent to 10 naughty boys.i think u should not seriously yell at them because they will not understand as of now because they are too young to understand.i think its ok if tbey naughty as long they will not get hurt each other.more patience,kindness and love so if they see that you still there to take care of them they will be ok.
They’re 2 and 3. They are testing you and your limits to see of you break your own rules for them. Stay strong and just be consistent. The 4s will be better.
Immediately when they listen praise them! The other s will catch on! Also it’s hard but be consistent! I had 5 children ages 6 and under. It’s hard. Make sure what you say is realistic because they know if you mean what you say!! The little stinkers are smart!!!
It’s the age I babysit my grandkids oldest almost 4 his cousin almost 3 lots of monkey see monkey do try to separate them best you can and not lose your cool the more attention the more they seem to do it and good luck
When all else fails a swat on the butt usually gets their attention. Sometimes momma has to lose her s*** to get the point across.
As a mother of 2, and a grandma of 7, also a toddler room teacher I can tell you it’s mostly their age. What I have learned is pick your battles, and be VERY consistent. Don’t say you will do something, like a punishment, and not follow thru. be on top of it all the time don’t give an inch it’ll take about two weeks of this very consistent not give an inch on certain things that you deem important and their behaviors will change. Definitely give them praise when they do good and what you want them to do, and don’t give in when they aren’t being good.
As a mom of three boys that are now 23, 20, and 16. I can tell you that boys need to be active and they need routine. And I was having a big problem with them behaving when they were little. They are all awesome well behaved young men now. I remember asking the doctor what is going on. I do everything in my power to do all the right things and they act like wild animals. Turns out they had food allergies and my middle son had pandas and food allergies.
My oldest was just milk and wheat
My middle son was tomato that would trigger him to be defiant and aggressive. He also had other food allergies. But he was worse when someone around him had strep. That also triggered him.
My youngest was corn and corn syrup. Which is in everything. And red dye.
So fruit roll ups, candy, and sugary drinks made him go crazy.
Once they were off those foods the problems lessoned. They can pretty much eat what they want now in moderation and they all tend to eat healthy. My middle son became obsessed with his health.
I recommend looking up Doris Rapp on YouTube. Learning what she teaches opened my eyes.
I also took the love and logic parenting course and it helped me to communicate with them better.
Sending prayers. It’s goes by so fast. I am sure you are an amazing mother. You will find your way and what works best for you. Don’t judge yourself. Parenting is a learning experience.
My girls were like that, until I started taking 1 toy away everytime I had to raise my voice. They qiickley learned I meant business when they had no toys to play with. Then they had to earn them back.
I think it’s unfortunately the toddler phase. Which is just awful and then you have multiple toddlers on top of it.
My son is now almost 8 and you can finally see the things I’ve instilled in him shining through over this past year.
Don’t beat yourself up. Know that you are doing everything right and everything you can and even though it is frustrating and it feels like they aren’t listening one day you’ll blink and be able to do their own laundry and clean up after themselves with out you asking.
Redirect calmly and simple constant rules with rewards for good behavior. Consistency is key
I thought I was the only one with this issue. They’re 6 and 7 and still act this way. Its very tiring and I say every day maybe the phase is gone, but its not
When mine were little I did the corner or I made them sit and hold hands … the longer the they cry in the corner the more times is added …
You are not alone. It sounds like you have tried a lot of different things in their short lives. Nothing is going to work unless you pick one technique and stick with it. At their age it takes a lot of repetition before they start to get it.
I’m going threw the same thing with my 20 month old. Weirdly enough counting has worked. I can tell him to I’m red in the face screaming to close the drawer and he’ll just look at me with a blank look on his face but as soon as I I do “1…2…” he’ll say 3 and then close the drawer and run away laughing. If I do have to get to three though he gets a hand smack, butt smacked, put alone in the room for a “time out.” What ever the situation warrants. Sucks though if I do the you have to go in the room till you learn to behave he will cry, and then your not allowed out of the room till you stop crying and my landlord lives downstairs and they hate noise so he’ll be screening and they will be knocking on my door and calling my husband while he’s at work and then I just about have a mental breakdown. But see if there is anything weird like that.
It’s all temporary! I was told in a grocery store, with 4 kids, acting like animals, that I will miss this one day! (by a lil old lady) I was like, ummm nope! And, guess what? I really do. They are all grown up now.
Story of my life.
I have a 4yrs & 2.5yrs boys.
They drive me nuts.Guess my neighbours already know that mama who talks to her kids through to midnight.
These boys are so naughty.
They wait for a slight opportunity to destroy anything in their reach.
Be strong,I’m there & know it’s not easy.
Sometimes I get so angry,but looking at their innocent faces when they sleep,melts my heart with love.The next morning,they wake me up with hugs & kisses like they didn’t upset me the previous day.
Cheers to all mums out there!
Keep trying. Eventually they do learn. Some times if u take something they really like and tell them when u be good u get it back. Be true to your word. And return it. U can only try. Try to be patient.
I have two step-kids (now 15 and 17) and they were wild. My biggest move was to limit screen time and make them earn it. The TV in the background all day made it white noise. When it was off all day and I needed to make dinner one got to choose what they watched for that half hour and the other chose a different half hour (usually after they finished dinner while my husband and I finished) and it really meant something. They would really sit and watch and it gave me a break. We also did really well with sticker charts, but yours are probably too young for that. That was how they earned iPad or video game time. We used popsicle sticks! My other recommendation is to continue to stick to routine. When kids know what is expected of them and what comes next they tend to do better. Don’t be too hard on yourself. EVERY SINGLE PARENT learns by trial and error. Best of luck.
Remember they are very young and they probably don’t understand your inconsistencies…it sounds like.
Time out not naughty chair or area should be just for a short time. Even if you have to do it several times. The key is they have to learn.
I have 3 grandkids who are all 2 …they each learned what time out is before they turned 2. And when they go, u need. To get down on their level and talk to them eye to eye…don’t talk down to then and help them understand what they did wrong by asking them questions not telling them…it’s called talking and not screaming. You are the adult.
And then hug them and begin again
There is also a 123 concept I used as a teacher if your interested, let me know. Schedules and consistencies are important for you and them
I have 20,19,12 and 7. It can be rough. They’re at that age. People use to tell me terrible 2’s. It’s more like 2,3 and some of 4 lol. You have to be consistent. It seems harder on you at first but it will pay off! Reward charts helped with 2 of mine. When they get older you’ll look back and laugh, at least I do.
Be consistent in what you do. Changing the punishment confuse children and they figure put you don’t follow though. If you follow theough and do what you say they will finalky listen. I had little trouble with mins as 2 and 3 yr olds. My mother telli g them tbey didn’t need to do what zi said made it harder. She wanted me to slao them and yell, “Don’t do That again” likr she did with me and never telli g me what I did wrong…she would yellat me in front of my kids telling me I didn’t do rifgr and tLk8 g don’t work. After spanki g them wvery time they listened to her and not me, Ifinally got them to listen to.me and we talked about what I expected from them. Fid work some but my mom interfered with my kida all her life.
My mom tried the sticker poster with gold stars for good behaviour and red stars for bad when I was about 3 or 4. It didn’t work. My 1 year younger brother learned how to unstick the stars and replaced all his red with gold and all my stars with the red. That chart only was used 1 week, but I was accused of changing the stars until I was with my mother when the last applied stars were changed.
There is no miracle answer just whatever your punishment is be persistent…boys will be boys it will get better then it will get worse and then better lol.what helps mine the most is losing electronics and making sure they get exercise
Positive reinforcement- look up theraputic parenting by Sarah Naish… and then look at connection rather than correction. Give it a whirl - nothing to loose and everything to gain.
Mine got spankings my grandkids got spankings and the great grandkids got spankings and it didn’t hurt them one bit it’s so sad kids are not made to mind.
Ihad three boys a year apart I feel sorry for you but they do grow up Garfield Greg and Jason stay safe love mum
Put them in a time out spot. tell them why the first time. Set a timer. Each time they leave the spot, time starts over. SAY NOTHING after the first time. Keep returning them. Saying nothing. Once they have finished their time. Tell them you love them and they need to try.
Go back to tbe good ole days of a spanking…the timeout generation isnt doing to well these days
Tearing up the cities they live in
I have three boys and even the best behaved (my oldest) had this phase. It’s all a part of being a toddler. Just try to understand the world as they see it, they’re curious and spontaneous which we see as being naughty. My middle son was a bit naughtier and my youngest holds the crown when it comes to being the naughtiest. Lol. The thing with all of them that worked was sending them to bed if they’re just not listening. Spankings would work on my oldest but my youngest doesn’t get phased at all. Even from bed, he’ll still be testing me. Just have patience. The two older ones (11 & 7) outgrew it and I never thought they would at the time. Still waiting on my 4 year old to evolve from being a spawn tho. Lol
Go back old school and gef the board of education out. Since that has been stopped is why we have so many disrespectful bratty entitled young people. That is why they sre burning things down and destroying cities
What works by us is punishment that you can stick tooo . Like a warning then follow tru with a punishment ( like no tv for the rest of the day ) . And you stick with it … next time you remind them , a warning ! We had to strip their room from all the toys ,tv ! And they had to earn it back . Start with the oldest one the rest will follow … yelling and treating them never works ,calm but firm … 1day no tv is 1full day !! Not 1/2 and then you let them watch again !!! The punished kid has to leave the room when the tv is on !! Talk to them about acting out and being rude . Show them in role play how it looks and feels ,yup they are still young but if you don’t get hold of it now poor you in 5 years …we raised 5 from 9 down to 2 …3 are birth kids and the other 2 ( mom had issues to deal with so we took them in as ours )!!!
Only reward good behavior with positive time not treets unless it’s one and only one very small piece of candy like a skittle or mandm …if more than could lead into more sweets which is not good for them
For their age…positive direction. Vs. Negative. Do vs don’t.
They are probably fighting over toys that age group. Have 2 of everything. 2 cars. 2balls…etc.
Sensory plaaaaay! Water…sand box…play dough…
“True choices.” Do you want to wear your red jacket nor blue jacket. Wearing a jacket or not isn’t a choice. (No physical discipline) go to bed now or in 5 minutes?
Brocolli or asparagus…
I love the reward sticker suggestions!
Pick your battles!! I know it’s hard. It’s loud and it’s messy but this is the only way to save your sanity.
I had 3 under 3. They are now 6, 7 and 8. My wild 3. I just tried to hang on to any tiny positive thing they did, so that I wasn’t giving them so much negative attention.
I also have two 13 year olds and a 2 year old who are all much easier to parent than the wild 3 in a row.
Good luck …what a hard age…whatever they fitghing for or over just take it away…there is no wrong or right way…just what ever way works for you and them!!
Avoid the punitive and hitting that sends out the wrong message instead when they do right then reward and model the right behaviors . Focus in on the good things and once one does well and sees how you handle that the others will follow its slow but it works , it’s called positive reinforcements, use a chart with their name use stickers use food use whatever motivates the particular child at the present moment . As far as the negative behaviors be consistent and remove the stimulus and put each kid in their rooms consistently no yelling no bargaining no counting no threats and learn the word NO early on without an explanation !!
Consistancy and realistic expectations, considering their ages, is a good place to start.
Repeat after me… “This, too, shall pass.” Its a phase. Keep being consistent. But it’s totally normal. They start listening better closer to 5. Than 12 rolls around and the pubescent backtalk starts. 🤦
Try a rewards chart. Pick out a few toys or activities they really like to play/engage with. On days they get 3 consistent stars for listening they get an hour with the special toy. Have an allocated hour for these special toys at the end of the day.
My kids were the same way when they were younger, like 10 and 6. They got better for a couple years, but now they are back at it, although not nearly as bad. I broke down crying in the Walmart checkout line a couple times because I could NOT stop them from picking on each other and fighting. I did time outs, going to rooms, extra chores, taking things away, grounding, yelling, spanking, everything. I wish I had an answer, but most of us have been there. We know it’s so frustrating. Hope this helps!