Omg they sounds like complete brats! I would give anything to have my momma here and my kids to have grandparents 
my heart breaks for youâ:broken_heart:
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Itâs not you. This generation is not about family. Blood doesnât matter to them. If you want to message me, feel free. Iâm going thru the same thing. Just know that you are not the problem.
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Well⌠do you cause a lot of drama?
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You raise them now, its your turn to live your best life - start going on mini vacation stop posting about them - and more posting about your adventures, and if they do reach out and say anything just tell them that you are busy and will contact them once you are back home sooner or later they will realize how much you do for them - but never go back the way it was just live your life you deserve it-------- FYI if they do say anything about Christmas gifts just tell them that for Christmas this year you will spend the whole day with them thatâs their gift if they donât like it no worries
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Thatâs so sad! I would never! Im sorry thats the situation for youâŚ
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Unfortunately we donât live in the same world we did when our kids were young. We wanted actual grandparents for our children. Donât you know we can do nothing right in this generations eyes. I am even afraid to say ANYTHING in fear of who Iâm going to offend in my family. All I can say is pray and distance your heart from any more pain. Let them come to you and then you will get blamed for not coming around. There is no simple answer or fix. Itâs just another sign of the times. We can love our children till weâre blue in the face but it donât make the feeling mutual.
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Ya know my parents are gone now all of them and Iâm 35. My mom and grandmother were very extra involved in my life and I set no boundaries I knew I wouldnât always have them. Shame on your kids for not loving you while your here to bug them. Iâd give anything to sit with either of them or talk on the phone or share my child with them
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As someone with no parent that would love a inlaw or parent ⌠all I can say is I am keeping you in my prayers⌠nothing worse than being told how to love⌠OâDay when they are sitting on the sidelines of their kids life they will regret how they pushed you away⌠I know it is hard as you have all this love to devout to them however take a back seat allow them to exclude you⌠find a hobby to keep you busy it wonât belong before theh start missing you⌠it is easy to blame you at the moment. People donât realize how much much devoted granny can mean to the grand kids. Hope you have a wonderful xmas
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Just my thought. I donât doubt as a mature woman and a mother you have sacrificed things for your children. I hope for your sake they quit taking you for granted because honestly any generation before our own has learned about boundaries and respect and has had it way harder. So in my opinion which we are all allowed I think you have â adultsâ who are really still âkidsâ or not matured yet. Maybe have never been on the other side of a table so to speak. You obviously care and it hurts or you wouldnât be asking publicly for advice. I wouldnât bug them if thatâs what they consider it when really it is just bothering with the woman who probably gave up a lot for them now that she may be alone. They grow they leave, doesnât make it right. As they grow and their kids leave and they are told the same only then will they probably say dam mom was right. I pray for a Happy Holiday with no tears and a Happy New year. You arenât alone mamma a whole lot of âkidsâ out thereâ:heart:
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Are they married or in committed relationships? If so, what does your relationship look like with their partners?
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Back offâŚmake your own plansâŚcall or text them once a month to let them know you love them. Give them their spaceâŚand you make your own lifeâŚlike self reflect and see where that takes you.
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Go to therapy. Seriously. I can tell that thereâs a LOT missing from this story and it sounds like your children have genuinely tried to create boundaries with you (healthy boundaries are created to establish and maintain a good relationship, not to destroy one) that you are not respecting. Therapy will either help you discover if you are doing something wrong so you can do the work to repair your relationships with your children, or it will help you cope if your children are in the wrong (maybe consider family therapy if that is found to be the case?). Either way, go to therapy.
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Maybe you should actually respect their boundaries and stop posting stuff on social media if they donât want you to.
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You say the problem is with 2 of your sons. So ask the other children if they know whatâs going on, but donât press. If they say they have no clue, leave it at that.
In the meanwhile, do not post pictures on social media if you have been asked not to. Thatâs an easy fix.
Another easy fix is not calling and texting so much. It can be hard to do, as itâs a way of being connected and not being lonely, but there are things to do to help with that. Volunteering is wonderful and fulfilling. Try it. Find a social group you enjoy, card, books, crafts⌠you get the picture. Go out and DO things. Once weâve raised our children is our time to enjoy. Do that and just be there when they need you.
Iâm not going to judge or surmise what kind of person you are based on an anonymous post⌠thereâs enough of that going on in the world today. People condemning people based on a few written lines.
This is simple advice that works without knowing all sides of the story.
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I think itâs time to take the hint and back up a bit. Obviously they are not wanting a close relationship with you and trying to push it on them will only make it worse. Their grown men, leave them alone if thatâs what their asking you to do. They must have their reasons even if you donât agree. As far as the pictures. Their kids, their rules and you need to respect that even if you donât agree. Step back, give them some space and donât be âthat pain in the a** nosey meddling motherâ 
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Time to start being too busy for them. Go on vacations for major holidays, forget birthdays. Donât buy a gift for any of them. Tell them your time will be their gift. They want you to leave them alone, then really leave them alone.
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Iâm not reading other comments but question, how many times a day do you call or text? Do you try to come into things without asking first? Are you always asking what theyâre doing? Or to let you know as soon as they get home from something? Iâm not trying to sound harsh but from personal experience it can be a lotâŚ. My mother in law crosses boundaries with my husband with how she reacts towards him. In a manner where itâs not appropriate. She use to always show up unannounced and would call us at all hours no matter what weâve said or asked for. Meaning only call during so and so times. Because there were time sheâd call very late night or very early morning. Would call/text us MULTIPLE times a day. I have an amazing relationship with my parents but I donât even talk to them that much. Like my dad and I will text a couple times a day. My mom and I will talk on the phone bout once a day. Some days we donât even talk. But things can be way over bearing. Especially if seeming very clingy. Maybe ask what boundaries are being over stepped. Share how you feel and maybe try and compromise but also try your best to respect their wishes as well. Im terribly sorry though with how theyâve reacted though to you that part is not ok and they need to rethink themselves as well.
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If they think that you are always around them! Just let them be! When they donât receive a phone call or text from you theyâll come looking! Until then donât say anything. I know itâs hard because itâs right around Christmas! But they need to realize youâre their mom & should be included no matter what! Iâm sorry youâre going through this!
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I think there is more to this story youâre not telling. Also, when youâre children leave your home and start their family it is now their family. You talked about them setting boundaries, why were they needing to set boundaries if there was already a healthy set of them? You sound a lot like an emotionally immature mother who doesnât want to let go and understand her children are grown adults. Itâs ok to have pride in your family, itâs ok to boast about yourove for them. But if youâre doing only to keep up with your Grandma friends youâre doing it for your own selfish reasons and not listening to the children who as adults are finally putting their foot down because theyâre tired of being railroaded by your âloveâ. You donât get to say Iâm mommy I want it my way through your childâs entire life. Get over yourself, seek counseling, and discover the emotional maturity your kids are literally begging you to get!
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You clearly are not respecting their boundaries. Listen to what they say! Even if you donât agree with whether the boundaries are appropriate, you have to respect them. Thatâs why they have put their foot down. They are tired of you not listening.
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If they have asked you not to post things and your still doing it there would be one of the issues.
How often are you calling/texting them? Every few days or afew times everyday?
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Iâm sorry this world is just Sad!! I would NEVER EVER be yo busy for my Mother! I treated my Mother in law as if she was My Mother! She passed away 2 years ago and Abt broke my Heartâ:disappointed_relieved: I call my Mom everyday sometimes 2-3 times a day I even talk for at least and hour with her. They sound like ungrateful Brats that only care Abt Themselves! In this situation maybe stop being there when they call for awhile itâs Sad to even suggest that but itâs causing you pain. Hopefully They wake up and realize what they have before itâs gone!! 
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We canât help you understand when you didnât give us what you have done wrong. A huge chunk of the story is missing. What did you do? Itâs time to admit to your wrongs and not be so stubborn. Maybe both sides are to blame but we canât tell you cause we need that info.
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Thereâs definitely more to this than whatâs being said.
As an adult who has completely cut out my mother, and knowing a lot of other adults who have very little to no contact with their mother, itâs due to a lifetime of choices. Choices to not respect boundaries, emotional invalidation, abuse, neglect, etc. I donât know a single adult who has cut their parent out for funsies.
You need to respect their boundaries, and self reflect as to what you have done that have made them feel this way. You arenât entitled to their lives, or their childrenâs lives.
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My first thought was why? ask for the real reason or tell us if you know - some might judge ( most wonât) or no matter what it does to you take them at their word - leave them alone TOTALLY maybe then they will see what is missing and try to make up, dont make it too easy for them though xx
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They sound like they really want to break free from you -sorry.
Maybe when they were little they felt you was too strict now they are adults they can do what they like.
Maybe they never got to make their own choices as you would force yours
Maybe you made them feel small
Maybe they are just brats
Maybe they feel like your using the the grandkids to hide mistakes youâve caused and they hate that
Who knows but something isnât right.
But one things for sure leave them âŚlet them grow their kids and live their lives.
Donât jump in and enforce what you think is the right way to bring up their children. Let them come to you for advice.
Live your life but most importantly let them live theirs
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As an adult who has cut off a parent completely, look at yourself. How did you act when you raised them? You havenât told us the whole story and I highly doubt your the victim here
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My mom is in the process of passing a way. Someday your sons will regret it. I would give anything for my mom to say I love you or talk to me. My mom is my rock. My mom was very opinionated but every time she was right. Iâm 52 and losing my mom my heart is breaking. Your sons wil regret it. All my love to you. 
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Had to go back and re read your post - did you really say youâve been posting pics of their kids when they have asked you not to? Blimey if that was me Iâd be furious and disown you - that is just not right! If my gâkids do something to be especially proud of I always ask them or their parents if I can post to a select group of friends and even ask the 18 & 21 year olds! Its their privacy x
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Donât post anything about them. And just give them some space.
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This is heartbreaking. Especially if you are a momma that has bent over backwards for them and raised them their whole childhood. I feel like something went wrong years ago and itâs missing from the story.
If for some reason you didnât raise them and now are trying to play a big role (from my sisterâs experience) you have to work your way back in and really canât expect anything. If you try to control your sons and they are married you have to let them lead their own life. The wives will trump you Everytime.
Are we missing anything as far as the backstory here?
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This doesnât add up. Weâre missing a BIG part of the story.
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They are trying to set boundaries and youâre not listening.
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If they are repeatedly talking to you about boundaries and rules then that means you are crossing them or ignoring them way too much, they have their reasons, if you want to fix the relationship then start listening to their boundaries and respect them, treat them like adults, you donât need to know everything or be able to have a say in everything. When adult children cut off or set boundaries with their parents, thereâs a reason, they didnât do this without cause and a lot of thought
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Shame on your children, your mother should always be â honoredâ As we age, we change, The Bible says honor thy father & mother, so DO it!!!
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Itâs not a good idea to post pics of grandkids on social media. Too many sickos out,there.
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Just leave them alone. The more you say and do the more amuntion you give them. This is the new way of life. It hurts but the sooner you accept it, the better off you will be.
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1 do you have a life outside your children and grandchildren? 2your bots are adults and trying to run their own family life give them the space. 3 if aloud take the grandchildren over night once in a while so they have a little alone time. 3have them come to you for advice, presents etc⌠other than that live your life for you. Learn to let go but be there if needed. Go out have fun enjoy your life now that they are grown. As mothers we put our lives on hold while raising our children now that they are grown itâs time to get new friend go out to Dinner, have a few friends over for drinks cards or what ever. Itâs time to stop living for them and live for yourself. The empty nest feeling is hard. But getting to do things you couldnât do while raising your child can be so fun.
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Sad no one is perfect give them time to miss you make peace with yourself 
that God will work things out
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Not saying this is the situation but this sounds exactly like something my step grandma would say.
Sheâs manipulative, narcissistic, and abusive. Always plays the victim.
Weâre missing some major key stories here.
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This is the new way of life. We are being geared to have less human interaction. There is nothing to do but deal with it. Make yourself unavailable, and if they donât want you around, then learn how to be okay with that too. Life is way too short to focus on people who donât want you around, blood or not!
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I could write a book on the boundaries my fiancĂŠâs mother has crossed with me & my children over the years & the excuses she has given for doing so. Itâs NOT acceptable to put pictures or posts about children on social media unless you have permission & approval from (both) the parents. Case closed.
How would you feel if you didnât want pictures posted online & your sons did it to you anyway?
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Some parents are not ok with others freely posting their kids on social media. You need to allow them ok or deny each post. Shoot a message and ask if you can post. You also need to respect their boundaries. Iâm sorry you sound like your pushing your wants needs and expectations onto them and not respecting their wishes as parents
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Respect their boundaries. Itâs really not that hard.
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To me it doesnât sound like you are the problem itâs your sons and until they figure out what their problem is there is probably nothing you can do or say to make it right they are the real problem try to back off donât call or text until they message you I know itâs hard but honestly they are mentally destroying you and it doesnât sound fair
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Something is missing on this story. Kids especially adult kids donât stop talking to their mom and say all this unless you are toxic or something happen.
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It sounds like they have already told you their boundaries and you are stomping on them because itâs not what you want. 
They obviously donât want the level of enmeshment that you do, and trying to push that will only make it worse.
You need to remember, and respect, that they are no longer children. They are adults with lives and families of their own.
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I had to cut my mom out of mine and my kids life as much as I could due to her not listening to boundaries. My kids and I have a CPO against my older kids biological âfatherâ and I told her not to post pictures of my children or any of their information or mine and she wouldnât listen and itâs to protect them, she is no longer allowed around my kids without myself supervising because she lets them misbehave and encourages it and they act out for weeks on end after she sees them, she wonât listen to doctors orders from a feeding specialist and will over feed my kids until they vomit and itâs only junk food she will feed them even if I set out things or prep them to heat up or any other way and she thinks itâs funny, she also spanks them when Iâm not around to where their butts are bruised and I told her to never spank or lay a hand on them even for discipline that is for mom or dad to do or decide because they know how to keep control and not bruise or hurt them. She is also disabled in a wheelchair and walker and has threatened to fight for custody many times because I wonât let her near them (to add to it my grandparents raised my older brother because she was abusive to him and my aunt and uncle raised be for the same reason but a lot worse) she claimed she changed so I gave her a chance to be in our lives again and didnât change. She will constantly tell me how to parent when she never really parented herself I never seen her from age 7 until I was 19 except on holidays when she would come over for a couple hours and thatâs it. She will call me names and try to attack me verbally and physically in front of my kids because she doesnât see them or me enough so I cut her out to where she only sees us 1-2 times every couples months and she lives 2minutes away. She has no boundaries and until then she wonât see them or me. Listen to their boundaries before they cut you out completely because Iâm on the edge of complete cut off for good because my kids donât deserve her around they deserve positive people only and all my kids absolutely hate her but still want to see her because sheâs so negative and will talk about bad things constantly like saying how horrible I am, the devil, death, warewolfs, monsters, jail you name it. Sheâs also tried to teach my oldest when he was 3 or 4 about how babies are made in detail and thatâs supposed to be my jobâŚ.heâs only almost 6 now. So she is definitely never allowed around without me in the exact same room with eyes and ears. She tries to control every move my fiancĂŠ and I make and all of our kids and think itâs ok and Iâve made reports to the cops when it first started.
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They sound like ungrateful kids!! I wish my mom and dad were involved in my kids life ! I say kick them to the curve one day theyâll regret it
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As a mother, if my children spoke to me that way I would back off but not forget to let them forget how extremely disrespectful they are. We are always learning and they are definitely not in the right either. I have children with many grandparents who donât bother to come around on their own Accord and my children wonât have a strong relationship with them. Honestly being grateful and accepting you is something they should be doing. If you have to play by there rules you need to then set boundaries too and let them know your done with the nonsense. Iâd kill for a relationship with my parents the way they got it with you. I suggest just finding a hobby and living your own life. Tell those boys, you wonât be around much and watch how things change because Iâve seen it happen often that way. Sad really. Iâll pray for you. 
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Nope nope nope you are a big red flag, and sound just like my grandma.
Respect the boundaries. Listen to them, it isnât up to you to decide their feelings are wrong. Theyâll come to you when they see you listening and respecting their boundaries. The fact is you have gone wrong in lots of places, and are living in a fantasy world where you are innocent. It is almost ALWAYS the parents fault their children donât talk to them. I know thatâll pinch some nerves but itâs true. You messed up and are still messing up. Just stop. Leave them alone! Theyâll come around when they damn well feel like it and thereâs nothing you can do to rush it. Stop being a control freak. See a therapist if thatâs what it takes. I see you. Youâre the toxic overbearing parent. Keep going theyâll move and change their numbers on you just watch.
If both your sons are having an issue with you overstepping boundaries, maybe they arenât the issueâŚMaybe you need to step back and learn your place as their mother. Not their wife or children.
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About the social media, the one thing i asked my mom was not to post my kids on her fb. She has been friends with people she didnt know personally and other things but she has respected my wishes on that which i am grateful for .
I would give your kids some space.
If you are truly wanting to repair the relationship you can ask them what you can do to become a part of them again but in all honesty it seems you are not acknowledging their pain of whatever happened that led to this. You only mention the pain this is causing you. Something had to have happened to cause this drift. I get if one kid backs away maybe its just that person but when its multiple thereâs no denying it goes deeper. It may not be something severe but something happened and they dont feel youâre changing and respecting them so therefore they are backing away.
Please do some self reflecting and i mean this in the nicest way possible
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Hi. Back away and let them come to you.
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You had kids they were your business now they have kids that are there business. I believe in the my kid my rules so if they ask you not to or to do something regarding thier kids it should be honored. It sounds lime you have crossed that line one to many times . I would just dial it back give them space, send cards hear and there ask if you can send gifts to grandkids and if there are any thing they really want or need then just chill , they will come around when you give them proper space.
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No son especially an adult son doesnât just stop talking to their mother for no reason. You could be the problem something in here is missing and most likely youâre being in denial about it. I donât really post pictures of my son I wouldnât appreciate it if my mom or mother in law kept putting pictures online of my son constantly. Step back and ask yourself what are you doing wrong.
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Boundaries are boundaries. You have to respect that.
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So if it was me, Iâd give them exactly what they want! I do agree, not wanting pics on facebook, cause you donât have a clue where they will end up. If they donât want to talk to you, then donât talk to them. Donât call them. And if they call you, you donât answer. Donât buy them any presents. Find yourself friends that want to be a part of your life. Leave your house and money to your new friend in a will. Stay out of their life. Itâs their loss, not yours.
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Iâm sorry it sounds like your heart has beautiful intentions for your family to be together and they have other things in mind, neither one of you is wrong but the truth is we only get one momma and grandparents are so special in kids lives. All you can do is pray for them and be kind, getting mad or frustrated is only going to push them away more
I feel something is missing. If im wrong then thatâs sad and your kids seem to have a personal issue. Instead of trying to focus on how its hurting your feeling try to make an effort and understand what they feel youâre doing wrong and try to make it right. If thats not an option you may have to just step away and let them miss you. Let them reach out to 4t fyou. Theres also the possibility they may not want much of a relationship and as much as that hurts you have to accept that.
Definitely not you. Theyâre treating you like an outsider. I wouldnât speak to them.
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Sound like selfish children, to me
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I have noticed as a are tif having both sons n daughters,itâs different,my sons are closer to their wives family,and my daughters are closer to me,over the yrs,I learned to accept it,they know I love them,and they know where to find me,when ever they need me,but remember,they know your number,and where you live,so your family is grown,take some time for yourself!!!
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Sounds to me like they need space. Which for grandparents can be hard to understand. They need the space and the freedom to raise and enjoy their children just like you did. Wait for them to ask for help and be patient. Thereâs so much going on in the world with covid etc. The other thing you should ask for if they arenât giving you actual boundaries, is asking what they are. And LISTENING AND DOING what those are when they do tell you what they need from you.
That being said, if they are giving rules for what youâre posting online regarding their children online, follow it. Whether you agree or not doesnt matter. What should matter to you is the safety and security of your grandchildren. Alot of creeps are online these days looking for what youâre posting. Innocent or not. Once itâs online, itâs there for all to see. Thats probably the biggest reason for the discord between you. If theyâre asking you not to post, and youâre doing it anyway, and citing posting as a way for other grandparents to see⌠I dont buy that. Youâre posting it for you. Maybe to make the other prandparents jealous? Making it look like youâre all up in their business and daily lives? To show off to your friends, but itâs for you. Iâd have a problem with that too. Address that. And be honest. But have the conversation and do what they ask you to do. If youâre doing whatever you want, and using their kids to do it, itâs never going to go over well, just like if you ignore their wishes. Intention behind it at that point doesnt matter. Theyâll feel completely used and unheard. And thatâs why they stop coming over or answering your calls. Give them some space and let them come back to you.
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So sad that they would treat you that way. I would give anything to have my mother with us again but God had better plansâŚMay He open their eyes to see your value in their lives and to cherish you as their one and only mother they will ever have.
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Look at your actions. If they have stated their wishes (donât post the kids on Facebook as this can also be a safety issue, for example) and you continue to do the same you are going against their wishes and ignoring boundaries. ARE you the drama queen when everyone gets together? How often do you contact them? Is it to the point of being annoying?
I get being enthusiastic about grandchildren but if you are living through your grown kids and grandkids you need to refocus. Ask what would be an acceptable number of contacts, once a week, once a month? Ask if there are any topics you should not bring up with them, and then DO IT. No cheating.
Find something else to occupy your time and attention. Can you audit classes for free as a senior? Take a movement class in gym and RECenter âSilver Sneakersâ programs, learn something new like painting, car repair, a foreign language, join a walking group, book clubâanything that will give you something to focus on and talk about other than your family.
Maybe get your âkid fixâ by volunteering as a Big Sister or Foster Grandparent programs, teaching Sunday school, volunteering in schools, holding and comforting addicted babies as they go through withdrawal, offering to babysit for single moms, or working parents with sick kids.
Are you too needy, always demanding attention or needing to be the center of attention? Can you not ever sit quietly and be in the background and listen?
Iâm thinking that you know what the problem/s is/are but just donât like the answer.
Maybe work with a therapist and have your kids tell her/him/them what their problems with you are so you can explore ways to correct your thinking and actions and STICK TO IT.
Working on yourself Is the surest way back into their lives. Good luck!
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My kids donât want photos of their grandchildren on Facebook so I respect that and donât post any. I also donât see them as much as Iâd like to, but again there are good reasons which weâve talked about, and I understand and agree with them. Sometimes whatâs best for the grandchildren isnât necessarily what weâd like in an ideal world, but this world is not ideal.
Seems like youâre over stepping and not following their boundaries. They are grown and have their own families now. The family you create is most important. If they donât want their kids posted donât post em, if they want you less involved then be less involved. It is their life. Youâve raised your kids and done your time, let them do the same.
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Well, you sound exactly like my mother & that ainât a bad thing! I absolutely LOVE that my mom is like this. Imo I donât see anything wrong with what youâre doing. Honestly, they need to allow you to be in their lives like how youâre doing. Moms donât last forever 
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As a parent I think you have shity children back off let them live their lives I know that hurts
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Make sure you exclude them from your will
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It sounds like theyâve told you what you can do to improve the relationship. But youâre still pushing what you want. Listen to them first. Second realize that if they are both setting these boundaries with you itâs for a reason. It means you are overstepping, enough that they are willing to be very low contact with you.
I mean this in the nicest way, because sometimes we become codependent in very unhealthy ways. But take a big step back and really look at your words and actions through their lives. This didnât start last year. Thatâs just when they both finally had enough.
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Something is missing hereâŚunless they are teenagers (which they obviously are not) kids dont just ignore and exclude their mothers for no reasonâŚThere has got to be somethingâŚ
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You clearly did something wrong. Think back on all your actions and what your kids told you with a clear head and youâll figure it out. Drop your pride and be honest with yourself. Then honestly and whole heartedly apologize and donât do what it is that you did wrong again. Otherwise youâll lose your kids possibly forever.
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O.k tell them you wonât post pictureâs.There is no reason to include grand.a in Birthday parties. Something else is going on here.Maybe daughter in lawâs donât want you around?They should include you at Birthday Parties
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Has DIL made specific requests? E.g. please donât post this?
I donât want my children given apple juice!
I would walk on eggshells around her, and let it be known each photo is a personal photo that you wonât share. If the grand wants food or anything, take him/her to mom and ask if this is allowed
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A childâs natural instinct is to love and stick with their parents⌠if they donât want you around, Iâm guessing youâve overstepped a lot of boundaries and been a pain. Reflect on that, maybe talk to a professional.
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Iâm so sorry you are going thru this. I feel your pain in being forgotten or ignored. I loved my mother so much, and it hurts to know my kids donât have this for me. No contact on birthday, no calls on holidays or Mothers day, no call backs when I text. I donât get it. But it sure does hurt. God bless you, and hopefully they will grow up, and include you in their lives.
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Every situation is different. I definitely think your relationship with your children you have to stay trying at or youâll never be okay with the way things are. Maybe you should start with the one that involves you more and have a heart to heart with how he feels and maybe after that he can give you tips on how to approach the other son for a one on one heart to heart. Iâm sorry you are struggle with this. I prayer you get your answers soon and are able to be more involved. If you decide to uninclude yourself at some point maybe just mail hand written letters or keep a journal that they can look back on when they come to terms with things themselves. I would never stop showing them you care by at least writing each of them and mailing it monthly or so⌠
Remember every situation is different! To the people assuming you did something wrong, donât get stuck on that. Children donât always understand their parents actions when they are young and never come to terms with what really happened some times⌠I held grudges against my mom my entire life but once I became a mother and lived through some hardship, I realized she loved me and did what she thought was right when I just didnât understand the entire situation at times. Itâs still hard to build a relationship for some people⌠Iâm awkward regardless if itâs family or notâŚ
Could it maybe the wives influence?? X
Ahhhhh mothers of sons
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You should follow their rules about their children donât post pictures without talking to them first. And depending on how much you text or call if itâs every other day then yeah that is kind of a lot. So start it down to once a week or every two weeks. Thatâs about as much as I call my dad.
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For them to mention boundaries and rules it sounds like youâve done some overstepping.
Yes they are your grandchildren but they are not your children, you are not entitled to time with them just because you are grandma.
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You sound like a narcissist to me.
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Itâs so sad but many kids donât want their parents aroundđ˘
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Iâm sorryâŚ
I donât have parents and wish I had a mother to help me or a grandmother to my kids. Call me, Iâll gladly take your motherly intrusivenessâ¤ď¸ People donât understand what theyâve got til itâs gone. And from another perspective Iâd be heartbroken if my own sons tried to push me away like this.
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I go through this too! Maybe we are just too sensitive
It sounds like you need to respect the rules and boundaries they are giving you. Back off on the texting and calling and stop posting pictures of children who arenât yours without permission.
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If all youâve done is share pics and tried to be apart of their lives, then shame on them!!! They sound like a bunch of spoiled, entitled brats! Just do you and hopefully it wonât be too late if & when they realize what they are doing is just cruel! 
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Iâm sure there is more to this than what we know. There are always 3 sides to every story. Both and the truth.
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You donât have a right to their kids or their time. I bet if you backed off for a while and did what they ask then things would turn around.
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Give them what they & leave them alone. Theyâll only realise they never knew what they had until they lost it. Thatâs so sad they leave u out like that.
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Iâm going to be honest with you coming from someone who dealt with an ex âMILâ from hell and also is estranged from my mother.
I feel like youâre leaving out a lot of details in your storyâŚ. Why did they accuse you of treating them like kids? What boundaries are they making that youâre crossing?
When someone has specific boundaries about their children, you NEED to respect them. If they donât want you posting their children on social media, then you need to respect that. Those are THEIR children. They have every right to ask you not to post pictures on social media.
My ex âMILâ said this same type of story to everyone. What she always left out was how when my son was first born, I was exclusively nursing, and she would take my son when I was sleeping and give him formula without asking just so she could âalso be included in feeding him.â She would literally get mad at me for changing my own sonâs diaper if we were visiting her, because she said itâs âher timeâ to do everything with him. If I ever posted a picture of my son and she wasnt in it, she would cry. I could list things for hours of weird shit she did.
Bottom line is, sons LOVE their mothers. And your sons didnât just do this to you out of no where. Iâm not trying to be rude. From a motherâs point of view, I would be devastated if my son didnât want me in his life.
HOWEVER, from an adult childâs point of view, you need to respect your sonâs and grandchildrenâs boundaries. Instead of saying, âwhy. What did I do to deserve this.â Donât make it about you. Maybe try saying, âhow can I make it better and more comfortable for all of you.â âI love you all so much and want to be in your lives, what can I do to mend this and know what boundaries I need to respect?â
Instead of playing the victim of âwhy are you doing this to meâ, GENUINELY ask them whatâs wrong and how you can help make things better and what you can do. There is a deeper cause to all of this.
Good luck, I hope you can mend things with your family.
I feel this with my youngest, except he expects me to raise his daughter without telling him what she needs (which is his time and attention). Itâs so sad that our children feel like weâre interfering in their lives when all we want is to see them succeed. God bless you!
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Maybe follow the rules and not do everything you want. Youâre hovering and theyâre tired of it. You have obviously overstepped.
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To the ppl saying you donât âhave a rightâ to their children⌠they are SO wrong. Many states actually have grandparents rights laws specifically due to those type of ppl. Youâre their grandmother. My son would be SO devastated if he didnât have his grandparents. It has always saddened me that I never was able to meet my grandfather and I was so grateful for the time spent with my grandmothers. Unfortunately some ppl are extremely selfish and self centered and they only care about you when youâre beneficial to THEM. Once itâs them returning the favors you did for them⌠theyâre not capable of it. Theyâre selfish. Theyre sad. Iâm SO SORRY youâre goin through this.
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You canât decide how people feel about others. Respect their boundaries. Theyâre there for a reason.
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Leave them alone and give them what they want. Its going to hurt you but eventually maybe they will see how much they miss you and need you. The sad part is, and i am saying this as somebody whoâs mother is passed away. Hopefully they dont realize this too late but once you lose your mom you cant get her back, so cherish the time you have!!! Thats my advice to them.
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Family isnât always blood. 
Their may be somebody else in ur life that could use ur love. I have parents that were family friends and are now just my parents. Ik this wont replace ur sons but it may bring joy to ur life.
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Your family sound like a bunch of a**holes
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