We have been together for 4 years, married less than a year. we have an almost 2 year old daughter. he works about 35 hours a week and i work about 60. we try to take “us time” but it normally is just us going shopping or out to eat. we don’t exactly have fun anymore. we don’t talk like we used too. i guess i’m just wanting to know what other people have done to get that spark back in their relationship.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I need advice on how to get the spark back with my husband - Mamas Uncut
Going through this right now actually and it took me saying I was ready to bounce if things didn’t get better. And now I can hardly get any space! LOL. I work a ton too and going back to school and we have 5 kids and even though we’re very busy we’ve made it a point to do SOMETHING! Dinner, pedicures, wine tasting, got my hair done, watched movies and vegged. Still working on the spark but I think that’ll come soon. We’re building our bond again by spending quality time together talking and whatnot. Sometimes it’s just coffee in the morning. Good luck. Where there’s a will there’s a way. Sit and talk with each other and ask each other to share some ideas and needs and wants.
Why are you working 60 and him 35? You need rest!
This situation is more common than you think
As humans; we crave connection. It’s almost necessary.
If y’all don’t find a connection with each other; you will find it in something else or someone else.
Don’t get me wrong, it could be a family member, a co-worker, just some sort of person. It doesn’t always have to be sexual.
Quit y’all’s jobs; open a business together. Y’all are not spending enough time together.
You need a “date” night away from the home, even finding a place to sit outdoors and have a picnic with his favorite foods at a special place. Go for a “romantic” type walk at a forest preserve.
Try going on a date or a little getaway just the 2 of you. Try warming up the tension between the both of you and have fun.
Just having our first date night after a year. 2 year old keeps us busy
Drop doses together and make an at home date of it, like body painting or playing in the shower just anything
You need to get babysitter for date night . You stay at hotel . Enjoy .
Try some kinky shit in the bedroom
*following. Good luck op.
First off, whoever laughed at this post must be pretty miserable. From my experience all I’m going to say is it takes two to put in the effort. You need to tell him how you feel but if he makes no effort or moves after that then there’s your answer. Tell him you feel like all you are is friends anymore.
Set some spacific time for “date night” get an overnight sitter and enjoy your time. It gets hard but communication is key. Be sure youre clearly expressing your wants and needs with your husband. He could be feeling the same way.
Couples therapy is safe place to talk about feelings! My husband and I check in regularly with our therapist and it has really helped our communication and understanding of each other.
My hubs and I are going on 5 years now we have an almost 2 yr old and a baby coming in the next few weeks. It’s always just been us from day one his mom lived days away and my family is a little too toxic. We were always having small dates and do things for each other but when our oldest son was born we never got alone time unless he was sleeping and even then we were both doing our hobbies. We started doing small dates here and there with our son with us it helps our kids learn how to have a good relationship but it was hard it still is we finally got his mom to move home she lives 2 minutes away now and we look forward to being able to have us time now that grandma is here my son loves her so much he loves being at her house. My advice to you is the love isn’t gone it has just changed with time put baby to bed early and make some cookies and watch a movie together find a new date night. We like to play card games or board games so we do that sometimes my hubs plays video games I sit and watch him or try and play i am no good. I run a small business that has taken a hit with covid but he likes to talk to me while I weed my projects. We do a lot as a family but trying to make time for us is hard but it’s worth it you just have to find the fun. Maybe look on pinterest at the 30days to reconnect in marriage it helped us with dates and in the bedroom it’s not for failing marriages it’s to help spark things back up. Good luck mommas it’s not easy these days our parents had a village when we were kids and we don’t have that these days and have to sacrifice a lot. I hope you find your answers because marriage is hard and that time alone together is important
Following because we are in a similar spot in our relationship.
We bought the couples adventure book for us, and the family one to do with the kids.
When we do have our own time, it’s nice to do a date night and stay at a hotel. I find I feel blah at home when I see all the things I could be doing.
This may sound strange, but…join a bowling league!
It’s a blast, and it’s scheduled time to spend together every week. If you don’t go you still have to pay so it makes sense to go! My husband and I bowl together every week! Scheduled fun with pizza and beer every week!
Communicate, sit together with a cup of coffee and talk. Us time can be simple. That’s what we do as we work opposite shifts
Be greatful that you even get the chaNce to go out and eat with your man ,not everyone can
We take time together every night 8pm-10pm is us time. It isn’t much, but it’s our talk and bedroom time. Initiate sex more, cant just wait for him. Get some new lingerie. Christmas is coming up, gift him a hotel room for two nights and plan a close by getaway. I feel like most women wait for men to initiate romance. I have found the more I initiate it, the more he realizes what I am looking for.
I need this too… we have started to drift apart…
Don’t ever stop dating one another!!
Welcome the having kids. Try toys!!
Massage. Coconut oil. If you take that oil and start at his feet and work your way to his lips you can wake his butt up. The same goes for you too. But you have take your time and use nothing but your hands in a sensual way. Positive energy will flow between you
Date night. Date night. Date night. Date night.