I just lost my husband, where do I go from here?

Just lost my husband we were together 25 years married 23 not sure what to do about anything

I’ve never been in that situation with a spouse… so I feel like I have no room to really give advice. I do want to offer my condolences… I’m very sorry for your loss. Dealing with a death is very hard, so take as much time as you need to grieve. Take it day by day, take deep breaths. Some days will be okay and some days will be harder… that’s totally okay and normal. Again, I’m sorry for your loss!

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I just lost my husband, where do I go from here? - Mamas Uncut

Lost as in deceased or divorced? There’s so much variation here


Yeah…“lost” needs more definition. Did he die or divorce you?

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The fact that you’re breathing is enough right now. And let that be enough. Take everything one day at a time.


If you belong to any faith based fellowships ( churches etc. ) reach out to them for support networks


A loss is a loss. So take things one moment at a time. Deal with this moment, then the next. As you feel more confident in the coming days, start planning beyond that moment. Grieve, allow yourself the pain, accept the future is not written for you. And then move on when you can. Just don’t get stuck. Be gentle with yourself.


Pretty sure she lost him to the veil. I’m so sorry…just take it one day at a time, that’s all you can do. Much love to you

It’s hard when someone that closed to you passes away. All you can do is one day at a time. Take time out to grieve. Try to do activities, maybe a therapist, learn on your family and friends for support.

I have been there do the best u can and prayers.

No advice… but just here to give you a virtual hug and say I’m so sorry for your loss. :heart::sob:

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Embrace your kids/fam and if you need time off from wk/things to baby yourself DO IT. Relax as much as possible for your mental health get your brain out of fight/flight. Ive been through serious greif thats disabling my brain had hard time getting out of that mode. I see a psych dr monthly now too. My best you you

My advice would be to seek a lifestyle focused on yourself and your goals, heavy emphasis on empowerment and healthy choices moving forward

However if you lost your partner and are in mourning, that sounds pretty insensitive, right?

A little more detail might help guide the right advice you are looking for

Just takes time. Never let others tell you when it’s time to move on. We all heal differently


Take 1 minute at a time, I understand how hard it is. Don’t be hard on yourself, take the time you need.

You grieve the loss. You are allowed to not be ok. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or seek help. We all grieve in our own way. Recognize if it becomes unhealthy.
One day at a time. :hugs:

Can’t imagine how your feeling I’m so very sorry for your loss

Breathe sis…don’t do anything. Just sit with yourself , let it come naturally

So sorry for your loss. Lifting you up In Prayer!

God will take care of :two_hearts::pray:. Sorry for your loss :cry::pray:

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I am so sorry for your loss! I would suggest finding a grief counselor, or loss of loved one groups to share your pain with people that understand. Keep living your life even on the days it’s hard, surround yourself with people that give you strength, and that will check on you the days it’s hard.
One day it won’t be as hard to breathe again.

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There is no right or wrong way to deal with grief. My advice is to focus on just getting thru the minute, hour, day. Let people help you. And it’s ok not to know what to do. It’s ok to cry, or not cry. It’s ok to laugh and reminisce. U don’t have to make any big decisions right now. Tell people what u need from them. If it’s that u need someone to sit with you in silence, tell them. If u need to be alone, tell them. If u need food, tell them. If u don’t know what u need, tell them. People want to help and at times they say things that are not helpful. Just remind yourself that their intentions are good. Give yourself some grace. It is ok to feel lost. U have to remind yourself that it will get better. Some days are worse than others. On those days, call it success if all you do is breath. It will get better. It will get worse before it gets better, but I promise PROMISE, God will give you strength that you didn’t know you had! And one day, u WILL look back and say to yourself… self, u totally made it! Lean on those that you love to help you get thru. Just don’t completely stop moving or breathing. The pain is indescribable and unfortunately u have to feel that pain to heal. Eventually the days will get easier, just push through however u know how. Praying for strength and perseverance. It’s a difficult road, but u can make it through. And, as crazy as it sounds, you will see little God winks along the way that will show u he’s there to encourage you to keep moving. Best of luck to you! You are strong and courageous and you can and will make it!!

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There’s a knot that you feel in your being that will unravel in time the tension feels to much to bare breathe and take one day at a time cry at times release may never be the same that’s ok once tension eases it becomes a way of life to cry privately sometimes then you find the new you Goodluck my heart goes out to you :revolving_hearts:Stay strong it will ease and don’t be afraid to talk about it with everyone no bottling up :rose::rosette::bouquet:


No advice… Mine passed 5 years ago. Stay alert and by all means remember your love. People take advantage of your greif. Prayers for peace in your heart.

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Pm me I just lost my husband in 2020 and I can help with some stuff

The most difficult of lifes experiences. Death! All of us will experience it, unfortunately. The easy part is over coming the actual death. The difficult part, learning to live without a loved one. Allow yourself permission to grieve, be sad. Life is forever changed. Take one day at a time. Some will be better than others. Allow friends, loved ones to provide a supportive listening ear. Cry if you need to. Allow sadness, allow yourself to be angry. Most importantly allow yourself to feel happy without them. And you will at some point. Keep in mind your loved one would not want you to grieve forever. They would want you to live your best life inspite of their absence. In time may the space grief holds so tightly be filled with treasured memories. It is true to have loved and lost. Is better than never knowing love at all. I have a dear friend dealing with the death of a spouse after 40 years. It is okay to feel out of control. When one wakes up, life as you know it has unexpectedly changed. You have no control. Your only option is to learn how to live differently. Its not easy. But it will be okay. I wish you the best. Much peace and love ☆


Grieve properly. And take time for your self.

I’m so sorry for your loss.
Grieving is different for everybody. The only advice I can give is to take help when people offer it. Give yourself the time you need to be with your kids and family.

Breathe, focus on yourself and take things minutes,hours,days at a time. Grief is a process and there is no time frame. Thoughts are with you at this most difficult time.:pray:

I’m so sorry! Maybe a pet would help or finding a local or Facebook group of people going through the same thing you are, that may help make things easier to handle in your difficult time. Prayers.

Hugs to you :pray:t2: so sorry for your loss.

Grief counseling will help, so will a support group.

Don’t let others make your decision for you.
Be firm tell them to back off. Hold off for a year. Or longer don’t spend money ti fill the hole in circle. Breathe one day at a time.
Your a strong woman you’ll be ok. Do not let
Family or friend talk you into what might work for them. If you need to talk get a professional
Counselor . Hug and prays your doing fine

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Breathe deep. Allow ur self to feel what ever you feel. Alot of grief counsellors out there can help when u feel ready. Gp can help short term too. X

Breath - and breath again .

I’m sorry for your loss :dove::heartpulse:

I lost my husband in February after 42years. No matter your relationship with your husband …mine wasn’t great …its still a loss and can turn your life upside down.
There are things that must be dealt with. The funeral of course but practical stuff like notifying family/friends, his place of work if he had one, the will, the bank, pension providers,
My husband was a hoarder and finding official paperwork was a nightmare that took weeks to sort out before I could cancel his pensions and I ended up having to pay back the extra so attend to that as soon as you can.
Once you’ve sorted out the cash and you know where you stand financially that takes a lot of stress away
Dont be in a rush to part with his things . I sent clothes to charity fairly quickly but personal bits I kept to decide if I wanted them kept or if family wanted anything…im still dealing with some of that.
I’ve given myself a year just to unwind. To recover mentally and physically .
If its a sudden death its so hard to accept and grieving takes longer
Do what you have to do to sort out the funeral, home and the money aspect…May seem cold but honestly the faster its done the better…then rest. Be gentle on yourself and accept youll have good days and bad for a while.
My saviour …other than my son and his family who have done so much to help me through …has been my dog. With a dog you must have routine… You must get up and get out walking …a dog senses your mood , is company and forces you to continue living a life of sorts till you’re ready to restart your own journey .

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I lost mine on our 7th anniversary which was Halloween :broken_heart:


Check under the bed if he’s not there leave it a week then report it


Don’t make any big decisions the first year. Financial or otherwise.

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There is no timeframe on grief. Grieve however you need to.
Go through all the emotions, even anger.
Lean on loved ones that you trust.
Give yourself time.
Search for support through groups, whether in-person or online or on social media.
Counseling if you need one-on-one.
A million controlled deep breaths.
I am so sorry for your devastating loss. :blue_heart:

Cissie Marie Laverty

Remember his love, his life, and know that he would want you to go on

Pray, breathe, meditation cry whenever you feel too grief is a process never try and rush. emotional support animal would be great so sorry for your loss .

One minute at a time, that is all you can do. Take care of yourself and make sure you get some sleep and try to eat at least once a day.

So sorry to hear of his passing. Iam a widow for 9yrs now

Counseling will help. I lost my husband of 36 years .will be 2 yrs.in march.I still struggle. Not as bad as I did at first. I had to force myself to get out and start living again.

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First thing you needed to.do.is sit down and just breathe. Dont force anything you dont have to. You have had a huge change and the mind doesnt like that at all. Look into widows groups online, they will understand and have info on what to do.

I’m sorry you are going through this. Just breathe! Let yourself grieve and just know that you will be OK! It just takes time :heart:
Believe me, if anyone knows the grief of losing people they love its me!

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So sorry for your loss😪, just take it day by day, try and take care of yourself the best you can, make sure you eat" rest" and just take time for yourself, you won’t be good for anyone until your GOOD as best as you can

I’m so sorry for your loss - I know you’ve heard/read that a lot, but I still wanna tell you, I am, for I do not know how you feel and all I can do is be sorry for what exactly you’re going through. But, I do know how it feels to lose someone so close to my heart and it is true when they say, breathe, cry, get angry, feel the pain, and then let yourself heal, one tiny step at a time. Your life changes forever once someone dear to you passes away, but please breathe, live, and do not neglect yourself.

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Don’t make any financial decisions without good representation


Make it through on day at a time. You can’t worry about tomorrow or next week. Just make it through one day at a time .


So sorry. No answers. Part of you will never heal. So sorry

I lost my husband 28.5 yrs ago were 45 at the time it was hard but i made it .it will take time.one day at a time u can b strong n u will survive many prayers going ur way

Biggest Hugs to you!!!

You need to take it minute by minute. Take deep breath’s. Most important you need to take care of your self. Don’t let any one tell you how to feel or what you should and shouldn’t be doing. I know what your going though first hand. I lost my husband 3 months ago. If you need a friend my inbox is always open. Always remember he will alway be with you and will be watching over you. Talk to him every day. I prose you he will hear you. You got this if you need any thing I am here.


Make some tea. Force yourself to drink between the tears.

There’s nothing anyone can do really, but let them try.

Sending virtual love to you

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so sorry, He will always be with you. But breathe, cry, & cry again, Grieving is very normal. But also see a therapist if it becomes so over whelming for you

So sorry for ur loss. Hugs lady. Stay strong.

I’m so sorry for your loss sweetie. I don’t have any advice, but I’ll be praying for you

Been there takes awhile

So sorry :disappointed:. You need to make sure to talk, cry, cry ,cry so more. Get it out, let it out never hold it back. And breath, remember to breath. Sit down by your self (have a drink tea coffee something stronger) and work out what move is the best FOR YOU. You don’t need to be influenced by anyone, don’t let other tell you what is good for you, you will know what is. Do it for you. Have people round for dinner share good time. Even bad times. But remember to stop and Breath.

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Kia kaha, you need all the love and support possible. I’m sending so many love and light vibes your way.xxxx

It was my husband, and he past away Nov 4th,


Thank you all for the kind words, just so lost and broken in every way. I am 40 and he has been my world since I was 15😭. Guess I should of put more background towards my comment before it was posted. Never shared on here before so didn’t know how it worked.


Find a support group sweetie


Right now don’t do anything. Take time to grieve. Take care of yourself and children if you have them. The experts tell us not to make any major decisions for a year after a loss of our spouse.


Same here ,23yrs he gone 6 years it’s sure hard but life goes on god got me this far lean on him pray

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So sorry for your loss. Do yourself a favor and see a therapist. Take time to grieve. And above all take time for yourself. Good luck. Sending a little prayer :pray:.


❤‍🩹:broken_heart: take your time to grieve, I am sorry for your loss :crying_cat_face:

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It will feel like you have a big hole in your heart. It can only be filled in with love and friendship from your family and friends.

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So sorry for your loss :broken_heart: