I have been told by three different people that my mother in law is on meth… several other things have been said, but this is my main concern. I have a baby, and they ( my in-laws) ask to keep her overnight, which I am against 1000%. My husband, on the other hand, says I’m overreacting, and his dad would never let anything happen to our baby, and we have had many arguments about this. Can you give me advice on how to work this out, anyone else I would ask could have a biased input, and I just need some help on what to say and how to handle this without stepping on anyone’s toes.
My mom and her boyfriend take care of my two year old all the time and don’t have any drug issues but I refuse to let her stay with them over night. Regardless I am not comfortable with my child staying overnight somewhere else other than home. You are allowed to make that decision and have the right to say no. You are the mama. No way in hell would I let my child be put in a potential situation like that.
Say NO and don’t back down! Sure they’ll be mad and hurt, but your baby is your only concern!!! Do NOT let them or your husband change your mind!!!
I wouldn’t give a shit about hurting feelings of anyone. I’m a mother and I protect my kids. Noone on drugs or suspected of drug is going to have my kids in their house day or night. Hell no! If it is a drug house and gets busted by cops your kid could be at the house during that time
Forget hurting feelings, PROTECT YOUR CHILD.
I would never let my baby stay with someone on drugs! They are such fragile little people that one mistake and they are gone. Talk to your husband about your fears! Talk to your father in law about his wife!
We all would like believe that our children are safe with our parents. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. Go with your instincts, if it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. Your husband doesn’t want to believe they could cause harm. Denial is a difficult thing. Maybe have them come to your house or take the baby their, but make sure you are present. Tell them your just not ready to leave the baby overnight. Good luck getting your husband on board.
From a mother and grandmother point of view, do what is best for your child, and that is NOT letting people who could potentially be dangerous to your child keep them overnight. IF you want to be sure, tell her point blank what you heard and ask for her to take a drug test. And if she passes, let her spend a night at your house with you there to spend time with the child. A little later, have her take another test. Have her over again for 2 nights, and again have her take a test.If she fails ANY test, sign her up for rehab and tell her until she gets clean, it’s a NO!
Stick to your guns. If she is using that’s not a safe place for your child period. What happens if she’s caught on meth with the baby? She goes to jail and you will be facing child serves because you let the baby stay there. No way No how. Plus you don’t want the baby around that stuff
Regardless, you’re going to step on someone’s toes. And you know what? THAT IS PERFECTLY OKAY! Keep your baby safe. I’d ask point blank. Address the rumors directly, see how they respond.
I think children should sleep under the same roof as parents at all times unless an emergency find a safe environment and people you fully trust with them…therefore I advise ur baby stays with you at all times… mil is not a person you should trust especially on drugs…and you probably dont NEED to leave your child elsewhere so nope…keep that baby with you at all times
I wouldn’t leave my baby with her!!! Follow your heart, this is your child and all it takes is one terrible mistake to change y’all’s life forever!!! Explain it to your husband and hopefully he will agree with you!!! Do what you have to do!!!
Be straight forward. Tell your husband and in laws you heard rumors and you want them put to rest. Tell her if she wants to keep baby overnight then she has to take a drug test and pass it. Simple as that. If she has an issue with that than she doesnt respect you. It’s for the babies safety.
I agree with many of these responses. If you are not comfortable or it feels off, your heart is telling you no. Our children are our #1 priority to keep safe. The answer would be no and you can not worry how they respond. It is up to us to protect our children always. I know that I could not live with myself if something went bad. Keep positive thoughts.
IF YOU DONT FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH SOMEONE HAVING YOUR CHILD, TRUST YOUR FUCKING GUT!!!
I COULDN’T EVEN TRUST MY OWN MOTHER WITH MY CHILD(he is fine though)FUCK WHAT OTHER PEOPLE GOT TO SAY YOURE THE MOTHER!!!
No. Women pick up on signals men can’t. Some call it intuition but science shows we can see micro expressions that men cannot even though we may not consciously realize it. Also, allegations of drugs or alcoholism is nothing to play with. It doesn’t matter what he thinks of his dad. Your hubby may just be on a different page but its your baby, you’re her first protector. Stand up and say no. The night time break is not worth her safety.
Letting the baby stay with her could cause you to lose your child, either by social services or in death. You are protecting your child. Your husband needs to get on board because nothing is more important than the safety of your child. By the same token, you may want to have the people who told you this info get tested too. Sometimes the ones guilty of the thing is the one who points the finger.
^^^my thoughts exactly you mil needs to take a drug test on the spot or she should not even be holding ur baby let alone keeping baby over night. Do not ever let someone push you around and make you feel bad when it comes to making choices on what goes on with your child or where your child does and does not stay… it only takes a split second for anything to happen
Forget stepping on toes… If you don’t want your baby staying with someone you don’t let that baby stay with them.
I’m probably way more standoffish however if I were in that situation no would be no and anyone whom had issue with that could take a long walk off a short pier
Fyi if she is using meth and she holds you baby it will get into your babies system because meth comes out of people’s pores. Your child’s health and safety comes before anyone’s feelings. Make her test or no baby!!
Nope, I have told all the grandparents that there will be no sleep overs. I just say that I’m not comfortable being away from the baby overnight. End of story.
Sorry your in a pickle. And there ain’t no way to not step on toes like Smashed… You can make all the excuses in the world. My mother was an Alcoholic. Sometimes parents aren’t responsible enough !Stop candy coating the Problem. You know in your heart. You don’t want your kids exposed to any possible unfortunate…stuff.
Simple…your baby is your responsibility to protect and pressure to allow a sleepover is nothing…don’t do it. Meth makes people do things they would not ordinarily and if your fil had control his wife would not be on meth
Step on toes, that’s YOUR child. Never let them go anywhere you feel is unsafe. Be upfront and honest why you won’t let the child go
That’s your baby!! If you feel like something is off, it probably is. Who cares if people get mad. It’s your job to protect your baby.
Follow your heart, Mom. No overnights until YOU are comfortable with it.
Your baby’s safety comes first. Period.
Would you send your kid to spend the night with your mum?
Your child step on those toes! I would flat out tell my husband he crazy as hell!
Listen to your gut. If people get mad, so be it!!! The risk isn’t worth it!!!
She’s your baby you have to do what’s best for her
Wait until she is older!!! If even then.
No way not even a second!
you go ask her…hey u on crack…u should b able to tell tho…
WITHOUT STEPPING ON TOES? You’re talking about BABY! It’s very simple, I would address it ahead on. I would tell her right to her face, “you’re not watching my baby because I think you’re doing drugs.” If she denies it, tell her she can watch the baby as soon as she passes a drug test. Yes I know husbands have just as much right to a baby is the mother because they are a parent but in this case I think the safety of the child outweighs the concern of the father.￼
Addiction really hits close to home when it comes to me n my family. My parents have both went down some rough roads but NEVER in a million years, would they have harmed my children. Addiction doesn’t mean she’s gonna hurt them or put them in harm’s way. Also, it’s not for you to judge or assume. Unless you have complete proof of said use, you’re not allowed to have an opinion of it.
Just say no…period.
Do what your heart tells you to do
Knowing this could cause you to loose your child it would be considered child endangerment
I wouldn’t care if she wasn’t on drugs. If you don’t feel comfortable leaving your child with her, then don’t.
If you think she is on drugs & your husband still thinks it’s ok for her to keep the baby then you need to have a serious conversation with him.
Oh hell no. If your not comfortable just no. End of discussion
Here’s a reason. If they get caught up with drugs when your child is there you would then have to deal with CPS (period).
What’s best for your baby is the only thing that matters in this situation. Not your feelings, your husband’s, his parents. If your MIL is on drugs, it is NOT in your child’s best interest to be with them unsupervised, especially overnight. Follow your instinct momma, we have it for a reason.
And it’s a no from me. I agree with you keeping her with you 1000%
Sounds like it’s time to address your mother in law! If your husband has an issue with it oh well! You are here to protect your child simple as that. Your husband most likely is going through some untold emotions as well! Be their to support him. Talk about it with him. Not from a mother of your child’s point of view but a concerned daughter in law. Also when it comes to addiction you will step on toes, it’s inevitable! However you are doing what is right for your mother in law, your child and your husband!
Please go with your gut , “his Dad would never let anything happen “ sounds like bad is already happening in that household.You already know in your Momma.
I would be honest. Straight up, this is what I heard and this is why im concerned. See what MIL has to say. Ask for drug test. Otherwise if you dont feel comfortable, dont allow it.
What does your gut tell you? You’re the mom, trust your instincts
Listen to your gut!!!
How old is bub?
You are her mother so do what you know is right.
I would LOVE to have a night off but I would never leave my babies with the MIL if she was on meth. Biggest problem there is drugs change people! Who knows what could happen? Xx
If drugs were ever even a question, my children wouldn’t be allowed anywhere near the user. Regardless of who they are. I’m responsible for my children, their health, and their safety. Drugs jeopardize it all. Nope.
It’s all about boundaries and the safety of your child. Don’t say yes just because you feel bad about saying no. Stay firm and be open and honest. If something is of concern for you, talk about it￼.
First of all no disrespect towards your husband but you are the mother the protector and your motherly instinct you should trust there’s a red flag so do not ignore it and you going too have to put your baby before your husband’s feelings towards the situation my advice is never ever let your child sleep anywhere without your supervision ever always ensure his/her saftey first do not let the child sleep over please there’s too many cruel things happening too our children and woman daily.
Honestly I know nothing would ever happen to my son in the custody of my family but the fact that they do drugs period is enough for me to say no regardless my kids don’t deserve to be in that environment weather they know what drugs are or notn
im mean . fuck toes if u r concerned 4 the safety of ur bby thats all the needed convin my op. however if u want to be diplomatic u could invite the for an overnight at ur house . so u can still supervise?
Nope. If she is on drugs I would not leave my kids there. She can get her feelings hurt all she wants, the answer for me would be no.
Mothers intuition… trust it. Always.
If i had even the smallest inclination of drugs, my kids would not be going to see them. I cut my unlce out because he was on meth…no regrets. I don’t think your overracting.
Do what is best for your baby. If anyone has a problem with it that’s their issue. For my kids I’ll stomp on toes if it’s to protect them.
That will hurt the kids to all you can do is pray and offer help make sure they do not do them in front of kids good idea offer her to stay the night with you
Your childs safety comes first. Don’t worry about stepping on toes if your baby is on the line. Your not overreacting.
Trust ya gut instinct you are a mummy xxx
I was in the same situation but not over meth. Youre the parent, you’re the mom, you say no then it’s a no. Children don’t need to be around that
I mean it wouldn’t be that hard to notice if she was doing meth. And if she is than her husband probably is too.
Just say no and that’s it!!!
Nope I’m with you momma
If something happens to yoir child after you knowingly allow them to be alone with anyone under the influence of drugs/alcohol, you can and probably will be charged with neglect, at least. Not even worth it. Talk to your kids doctor or even cps. Don’t ever leave your child with anyone under the influence.
Stick to your guns, NO sleep over, period!! Despite the drug issue I don’t believe in sleep overs for children at any age especially babies!
If you willingly let your child go stay in a house with a meth head and something happens and cops and cps shoes up, you will lose your child and run the risk of child endangerment charges