I feel like my mom doesn't want me to be independent: What do I do?

I was in a similar position when I was your age. I rushed and made mistakes. Those mistakes ended up messing up my daughter’s life. Now she is rushing head long into mistakes and claiming I am controlling. Don’t rush, You have your whole life ahead. Your mom will be a big asset with a baby. If your bf loves you and baby he will wait. Don’t make the same mistakes I did. My dad is bossy, but at least he always wanted what was best for me.

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A good mom will push you towards independence. I was traped at my parents house til I was 35 believing I couldn’t do it on my own don’t make the same mistake I made. Stand up and move out as soon as you can

Your mom is correct. A boyfriend is not a husband. Just because you are pregnant, you are not ready to be on your “own” I’ll tell you what your mom wont. Get your shit together. Until then live here. Cause guess what sweetie, when the bf gets tired of playing house, your gonna move back in with mom anyway.


Hun, your Momma is looking out for you. Even if it doesnt seem like it, she is. Honestly, it’s more than likely best to stay home with her till you really get yourself on your feet and get your own car, build up some savings, and adjust to being a Momma yourself. Adjusting to having a mini human in your life will take time. If you need help with the baby, your Momma can help you along with the father of the child at her house.

It’s not about you anymore. Maybe your mom is worried about the baby you’re having and you dont have a job and haven’t finished college so she wants you to stay where you’re at so she can help you so you do actually finish and are able to provide for that baby so she won’t always have to.


If you want to be grown then do it but don’t expect mom to help. If your expecting her help then expect her input.

Just a heads up, if you leave with baby one night and she says no she does not have to let you back in.

Best of luck

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At a certain point in our lives(after 18) we are considered adults. Do what you feel is right for you and your child.


Ik what ur going through even know I don’t have a kid … when I was 20 my man and I were togther for almost a yr and I promised her that once I yr hit I’d be living with him…well that happened sooner I visited him and knew I was ment to stay she got peeved at me and she thought I planned it I didn’t I was like I am happy now I’m a adult and I stayed also she sees u as her little girl so when u said abt that she didn’t like it bc she knew that I’d be outa her place and in with ur bfs she needs to understand it might be better for the baby to if u lived togther

Seeing as you are pregnant why isn’t he buying you a car? Why aren’t y’all engaged? Maybe your mother feels that neither one of y’all are ready for the responsibility of caring for a baby by yourselves. Parent hood requires a lot of responsibility, planning, knolage, patients and planning ahead. Your mother probably thinks y’all haven’t quit mastered these skills, Seeing as you and he are having a baby with no real plan.
Maybe y’all should approach this differently. I’m going to assume he can’t afford to buy you a car and as long as he is paying rent that won’t change. What if he was to commit to you and the baby. And he was to talk your mother about renting a room from her to, cover costs. Thus he could buy you a car and stuff for the baby. Baby stuff is not cheap. And then there is 24 hour care and all the diapers. And clothes to wash.
Your mother probably thinks like I did when I went threw this with my daughters. If I don’t see commitment now, the baby won’t see it later.
One father commited. 10 years later, he is a great father.
The other father acted like I was stupid. 9 years later, my grandchild doesn’t know him.
Please listen to your mother, I believe she truly loves you and the baby. And only wants to look out for y’all.

Get married…nooooo.go to school…be self sufficient…you will not regret it

Your mom is just trying to look out for you. You’ll have your independence but being a mom is harder than it look. Would be more ideal if your boyfriend move in and help with rent/food/bills. Your mom would be watching the baby while you go to college or work, I’m assuming?

It is expensive being an adult. Take all the help you can from your mom. I know it doesn’t seem like she’s being supportive but it sounds like she’s trying to help you. I’d also not worry too much about finding a job and maybe take one class online, raising a baby takes so much time and 100% commitment. you will have your independence down the road just the way you want it to be. But for right now, best to stay home, let your mom help out.

You’re an adult. :woman_shrugging:t2:

Your mom shouldn’t have to push you to be independent… that’s something that you need to do for yourself.


Please thank your mother for looking out for you. You didn’t mention if boyfriend will be paying child support. If he is not going to help support your baby, then you are better off at home.