I feel guilty for not spending enough time with my child...advice?

I just had my second baby a week ago tomorrow and I am having a hard time not feeling guilty and that I am not spending enough time with my first. I spent pretty much all day everyday with him and now since having his sister I feel like I am neglecting him. My husband is spending all the time with him and doing things and keeping him entertained, which is great, but I still get really upset about it and it’s not me. How do you get past those feelings?


My advice is if baby isn’t already…get baby use to feeding from a bottle as well as breast feeding. This way you can leave baby with your hubby and spend a little time with your first born. You both get bonding time with the kids separately which is good for everyone.

If you can, try having your husband take the baby for a little bit and dedicate some time to your other kiddo. It helps to switch off. I felt less guilty when I was able to just step away from baby duties for even a hour.

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Oh Mama, this is tough. Try to remind yourself that your feelings are normal and valid but that as long as you’re doing your best…you’re doing exactly what you should be. The transition from one to two can be tough. As others have said, give yourself some grace. And if it’s helpful ask hubby to switch, even for an hour. Have a meal or take a walk with your first. Depending on their age maybe even a talk will help you both…something along the lines of…I’m so happy I get to spend this time with you. Our family is growing and that comes with changes but I wanted to remind you how much I love you and that, that will never change" good luck Mama :heart:

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I know the feeling! My boys were 18 months apart

give yourself some grace you just had another baby your doing a great job

Either have your husband take the new baby for a little bit so that you can spend time with your firstborn and or start incorporating the help of your firstborn when you care for your newborn. Ask him to bring your diapers during diaper changes, have him help you give her a bath, etc… teaching him to help you care for her now will make him a much better big brother in the long run. Plus he will get to spend time with mommy and his new sister.

I did this year’s ago when I had my second child. It got better eventually. When the baby is sleeping just spend time with the older one. Or have husband/family watch baby for an hour or so and spend 1 on 1 time with older. Once you get the hang of it you will feel alot better.

Our minds often lie to us. Don’t act on or believe everything that enters our brain

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